


In the eyes of the law...

by Fangirlqueen87



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crime, Dark Thoughts, Detective, Fugitive, M/M, Mention of Aaron's past, Police, Scars, Secrets, catch the killer, eventual love, mention of assisted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 141,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6177056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlqueen87/pseuds/Fangirlqueen87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert is popular and well known crime investigator respected for his countless successful cases and always being able to catch the culprit. For Robert to mess up, lie, cheat or even think about harbouring a fugitive would be absurd...that is until Robert unexpectedly grows attached to a seemingly down on his luck young man who quickly turns out to be a whole lot more damaging to his name than he first thought. But when the line between pity and affection is well and truly crossed, how will Robert be able to keep him hidden?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Success

**Author's Note:**

> So just thought of this prompt and decided to go with it! Hope your interested to keep with it ;)

The sound of champagne fizzing and low murmurs filled the room as rain raced down noisily outside the office building. Once again Robert Sugden had cracked a case, solved the complex murder of a wealthy business women who was killed only three months ago by her secretary. The time it took to solve the murder was almost record breaking, they had managed to find the killer within a matter of months and the force were understandably seen in a tremendously good light for their haste.

It was all thanks to Robert Sugden though, the detective that worked along side them, some described him as the _Sherlock Homes_ of the force, the _backbone of the police_ and the newspapers loved it. His popularity shone through and although older members of the force disliked the obvious charm and arrogance he possessed, they couldn't deny the fact that the police were finally shown as heroes again.

In London of all places.

It was the third of March, two days ago the killer had finally been sentenced and the newspapers already had their pick of the best photos to print. The bright flashing of the shots made Robert squirm slightly, the intensity even too much for his vain self. Although the day was over, the office was crammed with people from all departments coming together to celebrate the success, it was a rare occasion but it made Robert smile nonetheless.

The fact that everyone gathered and wanted to congratulate him on his intricate discoveries that ultimately led to the killers downfall, seemed to make him slightly shy. Being shy was something that Robert quickly had to overcome as he began working for the police, it got you nowhere really. His restraint and timid nature made him vulnerable and soon the bravado of Mr Sugden aka confident, charismatic and charming suddenly had to take over. After working for a few months, the bravado seemed to fade entirely and Robert was left with the realisation that he had become the man he felt he needed to be, with a hint of cockiness and sass that naturally came with it.

Robert's arrogant and sassy nature soon earned him big cases that he relished in. No longer was he working on petty crimes and burglaries, now he was given the responsibility for murder cases. The first case Robert took part in was as dark and gruesome as you could possibility get. A child killer. At first Robert considered stepping down as a detective all together, scared that the image of the little boys face would never really leave his thoughts...but he did after a while and so Robert realised that he had to carry on. He owed it to the boy's parents to find out who killed their child.

At the time the police in London were once again in hot water about a few arrests made in the East area resulting in two girls reporting the police for gross misconduct. It made the force appear irresponsible and unable to carry out their jobs properly, and now they had this case. A case so intricate and carefully played out, as well as incredibly sensitive and raw for the public to hear. All eyes were on the police to redeem themselves but nothing was changing, they had all hit a brick wall and no new information was coming forward. The public were growing restless of the polices obvious incompetency and protests were on the rise, only adding pressure to the overworked staff.

It was Robert Sugden though who found what they were looking for, a small diary the boy kept hidden away in a small bit of land near his home. Robert had hit the jackpot, he couldn't believe his luck as he read through the accounts detailing the many times the young boy saw a certain neighbour stare at him 'strangely', the last account contained a name and the address of the neighbour as well as the young boy's terrified thoughts about them 'coming to find' him. Arrests were quickly made, confessions recorded shortly after and Robert Sugden was given credit for his hard work, the work that saved the police from even more hate from the public.

Suddenly Robert's boss, a man he had never even spoke to, wanted a word - congratulating him for his honourable discovery and taking into account that the case was Robert's first murder. The attention he got from the newspapers was something that at first made him wary, he didn't want the fame or the popularity, for what? Doing the job he gets paid to do? But after the funeral of the young boy and the many thanks he received from the public after, he suddenly realised the importance of the attention - the public finally felt able to trust the police again because of him, and he couldn't deny them his support and thanks.

And now here he was ten murder cases later and another one done and dusted, cleared up in a matter of months. Robert's pride has only grown throughout the months and his recognition and respect in the office was something that still made him squeal with happiness inside. He was finally firm in the knowledge that he did deserve all the praise he received, yet still humble enough to be touched by the focus on him.

"Now...now shhh." Robert's boss Nicholas Jenson said loudly. He was a large man with thin grey hair covering patches of his scalp, his face was red and bright signally his flustered state and although his green eyes seemed alert the swirling champagne glass told Robert that he was probably a bit passed it. "Now...S-Sugden!" He said softly causing everyone in the room to turn and face Robert. Robert felt himself blush as he fiddled with his burgundy blazer, picking at the seams and trying to avoid everyone's stare. "Once again mate you've done it haven't ya!"

The crowd erupted into a noise again, some clapping and others yelling their appreciation. Robert nodded along nicely, turning towards his best mate Loui and pulling a face as he saw him laugh at the attention Robert was getting.

Loui knew how much Robert hated the attention still slightly after all this time, the way Jenson would practically force all the staff to congratulate him on his successful case was something that Robert still found dreadfully cringey. Sometimes Robert thought about how many people would actually come if they wasn't forced by their boss, it made him smile sometimes as he counted the amount of people who were genuinely happy for him.

There was Loui of course, his best mate since he was young - the friend who pushed him into the whole detective work after they left university and the one person who truly believed and knew Robert the most in the world. More so than his own family.

Then there was Lilly, lovely Lilly who often blushed whenever Robert came within a few inches of her. She liked Robert you see well actually it was more than that, it was love really - just a little too much for his 'I'm totally comfortable being around you' levels to really take. He had never given her any hints or anything at all really to go off, if anything he had tried to be as cold and blunt around her as possible. But the problem was, Lilly was just too lovely, too caring, too kind and she would always catch up at his most sensitive moments and her smile would make Robert feel even more guilty about the fact that he didn't feel anything romantic towards her at all. She had pretty brown eyes and long wavy hair always tied in a pony tail, her freckles matched his - cluttered but not too noticeable. There was really nothing wrong with her and if anything Robert resented that fact the most. Loui often teased him about the way she looked at him, the way her eyes just widened whenever he walked by. Her crush was obvious, and sometimes when Robert felt lonely he thought about her, thought about seeing if he could maybe grow to love her - but it was pointless though, he knew he would never felt that way about her. He just hoped one day someone would love him they way Lilly seemed to.

Alicia, Grace and Mia all seemed to appreciate him enough to probably turn up for the chat and the free booze, the three gossipers of the office. Robert liked them all, they kept him on his toes and although they were slightly overbearing at times - they made him feel young and care free, a welcomed distraction from the intensity of the job. The girls always had the gossip of the office, who was sleeping with who and all that, but mainly the topic of discussion was Robert's love life. It was a topic that Robert always tried to squirm away from and although his sexuality was not a problem at all - being bisexual wasn't something he kept a secret- it only meant the girls thought Robert may be attracted to anyone who came on by.

Some of the other guys from the office like Liam, Matty and Aiden all seemed friendly enough and Robert was sure that they would show up for a quick drink and a wobble of the head as a sign of congratulating Robert in their own way.

Robert knew people like Brian and Andrew would love to be down the pub and away from his company, their dislike for Robert was so obvious at times but Robert thrived off the knowledge that he was so much younger yet so much more successful than the grumpy colleagues. But there was someone even worse than the dithery old men of the office, someone who hated Robert with a fiery jealous passion.

Max Carter.

He was the same as Robert, bearing the same badges and qualifications. On paper Max was everything and more, the experience, the grades, the honours - but no successful break through, nothing concrete to make him stand out at all. Robert at first admired his hard work and dedication in the office, the fact that he was so focused on his cases and rarely left his desk for lunch or any social time. He was independent and Robert liked it. Max always reminded Robert of Matty on drugs. After Robert's first successful case, it was as if the win had fuelled something inside of Max and soon he was ruining cases with even more efficiency and power. But with the power came the dislike and soon most people tried to keep their distance from 'Mad Max' as Liam had causally named him one afternoon. He hated Robert, hated his success and his popularity resenting the fact that he was the one who's face was plastered over the newspapers.

Robert had tried to reason with Max over the past few months before realising that Max was just pure evil after he sabotaged one of his murder cases setting the team back almost a week as they tried to uncover the hidden piece of vital evidence. Ever since then daggers were thrown across the office whenever their eyes happened to meet. But now there he was, good old Carter with his evil eyes staring at Robert and smiling like he knew something Robert didn't. He was pathetic really and still so obviously out to get Robert and prove that he could be top dog of the metropolitan police force.

"Well done honey!" Mia squealed patting Robert's back. Robert smiled at her, admiring her flaming ginger hair and the way her bright red lipstick still remained in tact after the many sips of wine.

"Cheers." Robert said sheepishly "I'm just glad it's over...really."

"Urgh why are you acting so modest?" Alicia asked before rolling her eyes playfully and dropping a hand on Robert's shoulder.

"I say we hit the town after this!" Grace perked up, twirling her finger round her black curly hair.

"Er...I don't think so -" Matty interjected. Grace rolled her eyes, "Oh give it a rest Matty!"

Matty sighed loudly making Robert smile, Matty was definitely the most geeky friend he had more interested in work than fun like the girls, it was endearing though.

"Seriously though...I mean we've got reports to write up and -" Matty continued.

Alicia rolled her eyes and sighed before sipping her drink and staring up at Robert.

"Well shouldn't we ask Robert ... I mean we are celebrating for him."

Robert sighed softly, he wasn't at all in the mood to really celebrate after this, he wanted nothing better to do then go home and sleep. Yep he was boring that way nowadays. After the first few cases he used to celebrate with the group way into the next morning laughing and drinking and ultimately being as care free as he possibly could. But now he was more reserved, more cautious of how he appeared in the public eye and after a stern but fair word from Jensen Robert knew he has to tone down his party lifestyle after catching a culprit.

"Er ... you know I might just head home actually..." Robert said softly backing away from the group and putting down the beer in his hand and placing it on the table.

"What!" Mia sighed "Oh c'mon."

"You ain't been out in ages!" Liam suddenly shouted across the room noticing Robert making his excuses to leave. His eyes were blue and alert but his whole posture was lazy, staring at Robert with disappointment on his face. Robert shook his head, Liam was a complete an utter live wire, and sometimes Robert wondered how he actually had such a secure job with such great responsibility.

"Yeah well thank God someone is taking their job seriously eh." Matty said chirping up and patting Robert on the back.

"God you're both so boring..." Alicia sighed before kissing Robert good bye and turning back round to Grace and Liam who were now pouring themselves even more alcohol.

Robert smiled at the his group of friends mixed up with other colleagues, some who looked bored out of their minds and others who looked thankful for the extra time at work. Robert walked towards the door, opening it with one swift pull and walking out to the fresh night air, thankfully it had stopped raining.

"Sugden." A voice shouted from behind Robert.

Robert turned round to see Jensen staring at him and waving out his hand. Robert sighed frustrated suddenly with the urge to go home. 

"Er...yeah boss."

  
"I just wanted to...to...to," Jensen stuttered even more drunk than before, "Say that, I'm...we...you're doing good son."

Robert smiled softly, he couldn't help but crave this sort of gratitude and respect from his boss who had grown to value him over the months. At first Robert sensed that Jensen hated him just like Brian and Andrew clearly did, but then after the success of his first case things improved between them and he actually began to notice him, respect him and value him.

"Cheers Jensen...I-"

"I mean don't get me...w-wrong there's another thing lined up for ya...nought to big b-but -"

"What is it?" Robert said his work brain never fully switching off.

"Fugitive case." Jensen said quickly.

Robert moaned slightly, he was expecting something more...something he could really get his teeth into, a fugitive case wouldn't take him long. He wanted something long, something worth while that made certain critics realise that he could handle the pressure of a long case and still come out with results.

"Fugitive?" Robert sighed.

"Oi don't sound so disappointed." Jensen laughed before coughing and neatly toppling over.

"I'm not...it's just I...well -" Robert stopped himself realising that there wasn't really any point trying to tell Jensen how he felt when he wouldn't really remember anything in the morning.

"What was that Sugden?" Jensen asked leaning forward.

Robert shook his head. "Nothing...look I'll see ya tomorrow yeah..."

"Yeah see ya kid and well done again, don't know what we'd do without ya!" Jensen shouted after Robert, Robert smiled to himself as he walked back to his flat.

It was cold by the time he unlocked his door and shuffled inside, the warmth of the flat made him relax. He loved the peace and quiet of his lavish flat overlooking the Thames, bam in the middle of London but still able to be as peaceful as this. It was a change from the hustle and bustle of the mid day traffic and the subsequent arguments and stand stills.

Robert stared down at a paper by his doorway, the headline read **'Miller Murder Solved'** referring to the case Robert had cracked, underneath read:

_'Detective Sugden along with the police, managed to solve the murder in a matter of months once again reminding the public of their 'great duty and care for all'_

Robert smiled thinking back to the exact moment Jensen had made the comment, everyone laughed when he told the press, it was the way he said it with such seriousness in his tone that had the whole floor in stitches.

The memory managed to make him laugh, and soon Robert was smiling again, this change in mood was something Robert grew to live with over time. Sometimes his optimism shone through and worked in his favour but other times the pessimism he possessed clouded his thoughts entirely.

That night though Robert slept well, clear in the knowledge that he was slightly optimistic about the future, something was telling him that this next fugitive case would be positive somehow.


	2. Failure...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's new case turns out to be harder than he thought.

Soon the case was on Robert's mind most of the time, maybe it was the fact that it was all so vague that made it so interesting and intriguing to him. All Robert knew was that after a week of nothing at all from Jensen he suddenly began to accept that it was probably just the ramblings of an old drunk man and nothing more. It wasn't until a few weeks later that Robert was rewarded the case. The special fugitive case that Jensen had been babbling on about that night of his celebration.

"Look it's just got a lot worse apparently..." Jensen sighed loudly as he called Grace, Loui, Liam and Robert to his office obviously deciding that they would over see the case.

"How?" Robert blurted out suddenly angry that he hadn't been informed.

"Well...this bloke was running from Yorkshire..."

Robert smiled faintly, his home town. He hadn't visited in nearly four years but the mention still made him feel happy inside and also a bit regretful.

"And as far as I knew it was nothing more than a case of arson and not showing up for court but then it seems as though the lad has got in a bit of trouble along the way" Jensen said quickly.

"Like...?" Grace said slowly.

"Like being accused of murder." Jensen said bluntly no longer skirting around the subject.

Robert suddenly perked up, "Well that's a step up from arson."

"Sugden do you remember the other week when I was telling you about it?"

Robert nodded his head slowly.

"At the time they told me that they still didn't know for sure if the stories matched up but apparently they do now. It isn't just a young lad setting fire to a..." Jensen looked down at the file, "Garage. This is about a dangerous young man capable of murder."

Robert gulped hard before smiling, this was definitely something to sink his teeth into.

"Who's he meant to have killed?" Liam said confused by the whole situation.

Jensen looked down at the folder tracing his fingers across the page, "A, William Tenner, thirty three."

"Evidence?" Loui sighed growing frustrated by the case.

"His car was spotted leaving the scene-"

"How...how is he supposed to have killed him sorry?" Robert asked.

"Well he had a severe blow to the head apparently, that's all we really know." Jensen said before biting his lip.

"It's your job to find out more...got it?" Jensen said noticing the group stare at him.

"Got it." Liam said first followed by a nod in agreement from Loui and Grace.

"We will see what we can do." Robert said getting up from his chair "Oh er his name...?"

Jensen looked back down to the folder and saw his name printed in bold,  _ **"Aaron Livesy."**_

 

* * *

 

An hour later and research had grinned to a halt, the group had worked out the village he came from was over run by his family 'The Dingles' and by ringing up the force in Yorkshire near the village they realised that they definitely were known.

"Oi is he fit then or what?" Alicia said poking he head up from her laptop.

"Is that literally all you can say right now?" Loui sighed turning round and smiling at his friend.

"I'm just saying!" Alicia said before laughing and making the mood a bit lighter, she was always good at doing that.

"Even if he was, ain't he meant to be some killer?" Aiden said adding his own rational thoughts and rolling his eyes, he was always the rational one. Not as rational and geeky as Matty but just a smart and even more savvy.

"Yeah but I'm saying, if he's fit then...maybe that contributed to -"

Robert looked up from his laptop and decided to interject, "Well Jensen didn't give us any selfies so..."

Just then the sound of heels began approaching Robert. A sweet scent overwhelmed him as he looked up and saw Lilly perched above him.

"Lilly ... hi." Robert whispered whilst the others watched on giggling in the background.

"Hi." She said softly, "I was...just passing really...wanting to see how you're getting on."

Robert looked back towards his laptop, "Er yeah just tryna find the basic facts...aren't we guys." Robert said before turning to the others and watching them stare back blankly. Idiots.

"Well I'll leave you to it then." Lilly said before hurrying away again.

Robert stared at the group and sighed, "What the hell is wrong with you lot!"

Liam laughed loudly, "It's funny seeing ya struggle with her that's all."

"Yeah I mean she was practically standing over ya just then weren't she!" Loui chipped in causing Robert to shake his head.

"Oi Rob!" Grace shouted from the other side of the office, she had been gone for the last half an hour tracing down information on the case, "I got this." She said quickly hurrying over to the desk and placing a image on the table.

"A car." Liam stated before frowning.

"Not just any car, the car that Livesy supposedly drove away in." Grace said. Robert leaned over and saw that he could hardly make it out, it was practically burned to a crisp.

"So we're thinking he torched the car straight after the murder?" Loui said before typing away at his laptop.

"Yeah...seems like it." Liam said peering down at the image.

"Where was this?" Robert asked softly.

"Just outside Leeds, near some woodland." Grace sighed sitting down and resting her tired feet.

"Great work Grace." Robert said before turning to Liam "Anything on this William?"

Liam sighed before clicking at a few buttons, "Says here he worked in a bar in Leeds, we could go check it out."

"Something about this just doesn't add up." Robert said frowning, "I mean let's say you're a fugitive, running away from...well a serious charge but not worth spending your whole life in prison for, I mean I'd stay well out of trouble right?" The others nodded in agreement, "But this bloke Livesy has managed to get wrapped up in a muder case now, wouldn't you want to just lay low?"

"Yeah I mean cmon leave the killing till a few years later -" Liam said comically causing Robert to roll his eyes.

"He has. Left around two years ago, been on the run ever since." Grace said cleverly cutting of Liam and making Robert smile.

"Maybe this bloke William found out he was on the run and Livsey panicked..." Loui said quickly causing them all to nod their heads whilst thinking about it through.

It was a plausible suggestion. But somehow Robert still felt a level of confusion he has never experienced before in any case, as if there was truth behind Livesy's actions and a sense of misunderstanding that clouded it all.

 

* * *

 

A week went by and the team had so far discovered and contacted Aaron's family in Yorkshire who were seemingly as baffled and distressed as they were. Jensen had tried to hold off the media attention for the wanted man but soon he couldn't, it was becoming out of hand. The team were anxious as they had a meeting with the press and informed them that this was not a missing persons case, this was a wanted man who they needed in connection of murder as well as arson.

The media loved it as always, and of course Robert was at the forefront of the investigation. He was sick of the questions by ditsy journalists _'so where is he?'_ , _'when will you catch him?'_ , _'is he dangerous?'_ The questions were ridiculously blatant but still Robert stumbled on his answers, he was slowly loosing grip of the case and Jensen was worried.

"Argh this is so infuriating!" Grace sighed moving down on her seat after the press conference that made them all look like fools.

"It's been a few weeks, the guys dead and buried and all we know is that he wasn't the sort of bloke who got into dodgy stuff according to his family and friends...then there's this Aaron who's got a bit of a shady past as far as we know, on the run and -" Liam said listing the things they has discovered and then sighing.

"Listen who went to see his family in Yorkshire?" Robert piped up kicking himself as he regretted the fact that he had stayed behind and helped Aiden out with filing.

"Me and Liam." Loui said slowly thinking back to the day.

"And?" Robert said quickly.

Loui shrugged, "They said they hadn't seen him since he left, no contact, no nothing..."

"And you believed them?" Grace said swiftly turning to face Loui.

"They seemed legit..." Loui said before second guessing himself, "We can always go back if ya want." 

Robert went to speak but Grace interrupted him, "And that picture you got of him...the one all over the news! He looks like a flipping kid!" She said angry at the choices being made.

Robert closed his eyes and thought back to the picture the boys had bought back. It was true, the boy in the picture looked no older than eighteen. His hair was short and brown, cut short but still long enough to see the gel lacing through it. His eyes were blue, bright and almost dazzling and he wore a smile. It wasn't convincing at all, as if he was forced to pose for the picture and Robert smiled thinking about how childlike he may have been.

The sound of Jensen calling Robert's name pulled him out of the memory, "Er yeah boss."

"My office." Jensen said hardly causing the others to drop their heads, they knew Robert would probably get a telling off for all of them.

Robert walked briskly to the office, his heart beating out of his chest as he sat down opposite his boss.

"Now." Jensen said before coughing loudly "The case ... it hasn't really picked up the way we would have liked -"

"Yeah...well -" Robert stumbled on his words and gave Jensen the chance to interject again.

"Well nothing Sugden...I mean it. You're the best we've got and you can't solve this. I've been patient haven't I?"

Robert was biting his lip trying hard not to curse. He was angry, very. Once again his good work was being used against him.

"With all do respect sir..." Robert's jaw clicked into place "We've been working as hard as we can but -"

Jensen raised a hand in front of Roberts vision, seemingly cutting him off.

"I'm just saying Sugden, it doesn't look good does it? It's been weeks now and nothing. We're thankful that Lilly and Aiden managed to track down those illegal immigrants who robbed that warehouse the other day." Robert shook his head, he couldn't deny the fact that Jensen was right. The news had dominated the headlines and he was grateful that the attention was not centred on his investigation work.

"Look Sugden is you're not up for the job then tell me." Robert stared up at Jensen, insulted. "Tell me before it hits the headlines and this ruins your good reputation."

Robert sighed loudly, yes the case was difficult but he was no quitter.

"That won't be necessary sir." Robert said swiftly.

Jensen stood up and peered down at Robert before smiling, "I'm trying to look out for ya here."

"I know sir and I appreciate that but...I won't let you down, just give me more time and you'll see." Robert said staring at Jensen with conviction laced in his expression.

"Very well then." Jensen said before coughing and holding onto his blazer. "But if I feel like I need to involve another investigator...it would have to be Max."

Robert scoffed, "He _hates_ me."

"It seems as though Max is pretty eager to cover this case -"

"Er yeah because I'm struggling that's why." Robert spat out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "You know he hates me." 

Jensen rolled his eyes, "Oh c'mon this isn't playground shit is it?"

"Don't try and patronise me." Robert said bluntly.

"Alright Sugden...I'm just saying -"

"Well don't alright. Just -" Robert said his pride well and truly dented by the carelessness in Jensen's tone. Before he knew it Robert was flying out of the office and ignoring the shouts from Loui and racing out onto the streets.

 

* * *

 

It was half five and Robert was in the mood to drink his stress away.

Robert had been doing just that all afternoon, until it was late in the evening and the buzzer to his flat began to ring loudly. Robert rolled his eyes and shook his head before walking towards the window and seeing that Liam was waiting downstairs in the cold. He didn't want to see anyone let alone his loud goofy friend from work who would surely want to help Robert feeling sorry for himself the best way he could. Robert had been drinking for at least three hours straight, deciding that it was a good idea to try and wash away his hurt and almost betrayal at Jensen for even considering to involve Max in the investigation.

Mad Max of all people.

Robert was drunk, well slightly. He was still aware of things happening around him and the desire to through up hadn't hit him just yet. But it would come and Robert wasn't in the mood to vomit all over his mate standing outside his flat. Rolling his eyes Robert walked towards his door and down the stairs, into the night as he came face to face with Liam. He had obviously been clubbing, typical really. 

"You look happy." Robert said slowly as he held a bottle of beer in his right hand.

"Well yeah...it's Friday which means I have a life for two days and then back to normal it shall go." Liam said happily, he was drunk too but not as drunk as Robert.

"Why are you...you here?" Robert asked frowning slightly as he realised that it was nearly twelve and Liam was at his doorstep.

Liam shrugged his shoulders, "Wanted to see if you were okay..."

"What you mean after Jensen basically told me to fix up or Max comes in."

Liam pulled a face, "Oh..."

Robert shook his head, "Anyway you're right...it's Friday night! We should be out partying instead of moping about over work, cmon lets go somewhere." Yep he sounded pretty embarrassingly drunk right about now.

Liam rolled his eyes and reached out for Robert's beer, "Ah ah no...sadness and alcohol don't mix."

"I'm just tryna...not be so sad." Robert said softly before taking another sip of his beer.

Liam smiled before yanking the beer from Robert's hand and moving onto the street. Robert shook his head as the drunk sensation sank in and things became blured. Before he knew it Robert was loosing his footing trying to launch himself at Liam and failing as a quick Liam pulled back and suddenly Robert felt his whole weight crush against a passerby. Robert and the stranger were both on the cold wet London street, wincing in pain as Liam laughed above them.

Robert tried to get up and peer at the person below him, the groans from the stranger told the drunk man that it was definitely not a woman and this was just about to get even more awkward.

"That's my cue to leave!" Liam said before staring at a taxi he must have ordered and climbing in, still smiling as he saw the two men laying on the floor.

Robert lifted his head up and glared at Liam who was laughing in the taxi as it drove away, then back to the stranger by his feet.

_Shit._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha just a little a tease of a certain someone at the end there, uploading again tomorrow to compensate on the lack of Aaron so far ;) thank you for all the lovely comments please tell me what you think about the story so far <3


	3. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tries to help the hapless stranger...

The stranger let out another groan and Robert couldn't help but stare at his face, his eyes were firmly shut as the pain probably raced through him but something about his complexion seemed to scream vulnerability. Robert traced his view down to the strangers leg, there was a gash and his entire left shin was covered in blood.

"Shit." Robert whispered morning his body slightly, "Are you alright?"

Robert's heart was racing as he moved off of the stranger and lifted to his feet to examine the damage his foolishness had caused. The strangers eyes were still firmly shut and he only nodded his head as he tried to get himself up.

"Here let me." Robert said eagerly before backing away as he saw the stranger bat his arm away.

The young man raised to his feet and cursed loudly as he looked down at his leg and shook his head. His bag was still on the floor, wet and even more dirty now and Robert could see that it's weight had obviously effected the man's overall stance. His shoulders were hunched and his forehead filled with years of lines.

The man opened his eyes slowly and Robert suddenly felt the need to catch his breathe as he stared at him, those bright blue eyes that somehow made Robert involuntary smile shyly. They reminded him of something but his drunk state of mind was tricking him slightly.

"Your leg." Robert said before staring down at the blood dripping from the man's leg.

The man looked down and nodded his head before darting his eyes across the street and then down towards the floor. Suddenly he put his hood up and blinked quickly.

Robert could sense he was nervous, shy and Robert could relate.

"Looks...looks pretty bad." Robert whispered.

"I'll survive..." The man whispered back still avoiding Robert's gaze. His voice was deep yet not harsh or bitter, it was softer than Robert had expected.

"Shit...I'm sorry..." Robert said quickly as he watched the stranger wince in pain.

"It's fine...don't worry." The man said anxiously as he still tried to ignore Robert who was leaning in closer to examine his leg.

"Do you want me to take ya...ya to the hos-hospital?" Robert said quickly, he was drunk, what was he saying.

The man frowned, "I think you're in a worse state than me mate." He said making Robert laugh.

"Yeah...course shit sorry." Robert said shaking his head.

"Stop apologising." The man whispered feeling uncomfortable.

"Well...I have...have a- a fir- first -"

"First aid kit?" The man whispered this time staring right at Robert so Robert could see his eyes even more clearer.

They were dazzling.

Instantly work Robert kicked in and his thoughts turned to the stranger suddenly realising that he was Robert Sugden. The arrogant vain part of himself that was brought out when alcohol entered his veins made him wary. Robert stared at the man for at least thirty seconds, he'd know after then if the injured bloke had a clue who he was, seeing the man shift on his feet uncomfortably and then back to Robert.

"Will ya quit staring at me like that!" The man snapped. Yep he definitely didn't know who Robert was.

"S-sorry...err yeah first aid kit. I can tidy it up for ya if you want. Least I could do." Robert said quickly.

The man shifted on his feet again before looking out in the street and seeing that no one was around. Robert could sense his apprehension and decided to be bold and brave and introduce himself properly.

"Robert." Robert said before stretching out his hand and shaking the man's hand. The stranger bit down on his lip as if contemplating whether or not to exchange names, but their was a sense of kindness in Robert's eyes that made the uneasy feeling melt away.

"I'm...Aaron." Aaron said softly before staring at Robert and noticing him smile happily. Robert shook his head and closed his eyes for a minute before backing towards the door of his flat building and guiding Aaron inside making sure he picked up Aaron's rucksack and lifting it over his shoulders.

 

* * *

  
"This way Alan..." Robert said before stopping on the spot and turning to Aaron and seeing him smiling, "Wait...wait no...no not Alan...Adam? Ashton?" Aaron nodded his head and rolled his eyes "Ashlen?"

"Ashlen?" Aaron said sarcastically as he looked at Robert's confused face.

"Isn't that a...a name?" Robert mumbled before sliding his fingers through his hair and making it even more messier.

The two men continued up the stairs until Aaron stopped again, catching breathe and noticing this leg bleeding again.

Robert quickly turned down the stairs to meet Aaron, gripping hold of his arm and allowing him to rest against him as he carried both their weights up to his flat.

"Here we go." Robert said panting as he sat Aaron down on his sofa and went to busy himself in the kitchen, quickly fishing out a bag of frozen peas and a glass of water for his injured stranger. "Have this." Robert said softly as he watched Aaron's eyes close again and again.

"S'fine." Aaron whispered.

"You look knackered mate." Robert said slowly, too slowly and now Aaron was giving him a funny look.

"Thanks." Aaron said sharply before looking towards the floor.

"No...no I mean, you just -"

Aaron shook his head signalling for Robert to stop speaking. Robert looked down at the young boy and saw that he seemed to be wasting away, be hung the baggy black layers Robert could tell he hasn't had a decent meal in sometimes.

"You want something to eat?" Robert said without thinking.

"I'm fine." Aaron said quickly.

"You...you don't look it." Robert said. _Shit._ He was a silly honest drunk.

Aaron raised his head, "Yeah thanks again." He said before moving up on the sofa and whining in pain. Robert looked down at his leg, it wasn't bleeding anymore but it still looked nasty.

"I...sorry again." Robert said rubbing his face with his hand in embarrassment.

"I said it's okay." Aaron said softer this time.

"I know but...shit I usually help people not hurt them." Robert mumbled causing Aaron to frown.

Robert walked towards the bathroom and splash cold water over his face. _Jeez_ did he look a mess, he hardly recognised himself in the mirror. He was meant to be a well putted together, organised, respectful man of the community and now look at him. He looked like a pathetic drunk. The sound of shallow breath coming from his living room pulled Robert away from his dark thoughts as he grabbed the first aid kit and walked back into the room. Aaron's foot was awkwardly resting on the table as he held the frozen bag down and winced in pain.

"Found it." Robert said smiling as he edged closer to Aaron and opened the kit before walking towards the kitchen and grabbing a hanging flannel. Robert sighed softly before lifting Aaron's leg up and looking at the gash on his calf. Robert traced his finger across the kit and stopped as he fished out a pair of wipes, cleaning the blood from the area and dabbing at the sensitive area. "Sorry." Robert said softly as he saw Aaron wince again in pain. Robert used the flannel to dry the area before applying a layer of cream and allowing it to dry. Aaron's eyes slowly began to close again but Robert's voice managed to keep him from drifting off entirely.

"I...didn't realise you...you were in the way." Robert said trying to explain why he lunged himself at the passerby.

Aaron smiled softly, "I gathered you didn't just throw yourself at random men in the middle of the night."

Robert looked up and sensed a hint of flirtation in the strangers voice, "Yeah well..." Robert looked straight at Aaron who's eyes were now wider than before "Not every night."

Soon the cream had dried and Aaron watched as Robert wrapped cloth round the gash sensitively.

"All done." Robert said closing the first aid box.

Aaron blinked slowly, his eyes feeling heavy again, "Cheers."

"Honestly I don't even know I did that to ya?" Robert said before shaking his head and pointing to Aaron's leg.

Aaron blinked quickly, "Must have been some glass or something on the floor."

"I came out pretty unscathed." Robert grinned before checking himself and smiling.

"Only 'cause I cushioned your fall." Aaron snapped.

Robert laughed as he looked at Aaron, his eyes were suddenly full of life and it was lovely to see.

"What did you say before about usually helping people?" Aaron asked as he saw Robert relax more.

Robert gulped he was drunk but a sensible part of him reminded him that maybe Aaron knowing he worked with the police wouldn't go down too well. Something pulled him back.

"Well you know I'm a...I'm a helpful guy." Robert said before smiling.

Robert coughed hard, the effects of the alcohol was beginning to kick in as he felt his head hurt. He could sense Aaron's nervous state as the young boy began to shake his leg quickly, he was still staring at the door.

"You alright?" Robert asked softly.

Aaron ripped his eyes away from the door, "I should be..."

Robert bit his lip, "Er yeah...let me just get you some painkillers before ya leave."

 

* * *

 

Robert smiled and went to put the first aid kit back, on the way there he steadied himself suddenly feeling more sober and realising that he had a stranger sitting in his living room in the middle of the night after he knocked him over and hurt his leg. This wasn't really Robert's style was it? But then again being drunk to the point where he could injure someone wasn't really his style either.

Once again the detective in him took over and he tried to piece things together, the boy was young.

Younger than him.

He was carrying a rucksack, slightly heavy and possibly containing most of his essentials.

He looked tired.

Smelt like the earth.

His voice low and surprisingly soft as if he hadn't had to use it for a long time.

He seemed alone. That was for sure.

Robert bit his lip realising that he should call the man who's name he still was struggling to remember - it started with an A- a taxi making sure it dropped him of wherever he needed safely.

Robert walked back into the living room, searching through his contacts and finding the trusty taxi service he often used. Robert looked towards the sofa and his mouth feel open slightly as he looked at Aaron sleeping softly on his cushions. He had stretched out and rested hunched over and tight, his face still frowning as if he was sill hiding some pain.

He looked so young, so vulnerable and Robert couldn't bare the thought of waking him up from a sleep he so desperately seemed to need. Robert quietly approached Aaron before turning to his left and picking up a soft quilt that covered Aaron perfectly, he looked so innocent, so kind, so -

Robert stopped the thoughts circling around his head he had so many questions for the man that lay beneath him, his intrigue was overwhelming but it wasn't the time for that. It was the time to sleep of this drunken state he found himself in and try his hardest to rest his mind.

Robert staggered to his room, kicking off his shoes and his trousers before sliding into bed and sighing. The day had been stressful, and filled with surprises - the biggest one laying on his sofa. Robert rolled over, the aftermath of the day would be for tomorrow, now it was time to simply sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about it!


	4. The morning after the night before...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron wakes up in Robert's flat the next day and has to think fast to avoid any awkward questions. Will he succeed?

_He was running fast, his heart beating out of his chest as he raced away from the scene not looking back at the destruction behind him. He was sweating like crazy as he fled past the cars and over a small bit of land, panting slightly as he approached an old shed and rested his head against the doorframe. He was bleeding from his arm and the cut above his eye was stinging and making him wince in pain. Picking up the small rucksack by his feet, he heaved slightly and sighed before darting his eyes around and sighing. No one had seen him and things needed to stay that way._

 

* * *

 

Aaron opened his eyes sharply, Where was he?

Aaron pulled himself up and looked down at his leg, bandaged and secure. Instantly he remembered the night before and panic set in. _Shit_. He wasn't supposed to stay. He wasn't supposed to stay anywhere for long, let alone a strangers house. He didn't mean to fall asleep.

Panicking slightly Aaron desperately searched the room for clues, the flat was large and spacious yet Aaron couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. The dark wooden flooring mirrored the dark walls filled with emptiness.

Aaron turned towards the right and suddenly his eyes were met with a picture of tall blonde man with his arm around another tall man with black curly hair and a grin on his face. Aaron looked closer moving up on the comfortable sofa and remembered the blonde man from last night. He looked younger in the picture but he could tell from his eyes that he was the same person that had invited him in last night. Green and dazzling they were.

Aaron blinked quickly as he recalled how drunk the man was, practically falling at his feet and knocking them both over. Aaron peered out of the large window in front of him and was met with the view of the river, instantly he began panting. He wasn't meant to stay in London for any longer than a night.

It was a drop by visit, he needed to get something and then leave again. That was the plan, he was on his way but things had changed the minute a tall blonde knocked him down on the road.

Suddenly Aaron remembered the man's name, **Robert**.

He had told him last night, drunk and just after offering to drive Aaron to the hospital. Aaron wanted nothing more than to run away at the very minute but with the state of his leg and Robert probably being too drunk to even remember him, he gave in. He stayed. He put his guard down and even told him his name, his real name. Not a fake one that he had made up on the spot like all the other times. He simply said it and although he was anxious about Robert's reaction he was thankful for the way Robert seemed to drunk to even remember it. Aaron smiled as he thought back to a drunk Robert calling him Ashlen.

There was no harm done at all and Aaron felt better for letting someone in finally after shutting everyone out for so long.

Aaron rubbed his eyes realising that he had to leave now, he had things to sort out and he couldn't risk a sober Robert asking him tricky questions and wanting to know more about him. He seemed the friendly type last night but that was when his body was full of alcohol. Sober people were different.

Drunk you could be the life and soul of a party, sober you could be the sensible reserved type. Aaron looked back at the picture and felt his heart tugging slightly, he had this small bit of him that was intrigued to know how Robert was sober compared to last night. It didn't matter though. Not in the grand scheme of things.

Aaron lifted himself off the sofa and hopped towards the door, his leg was sore but he was still able to move it around a bit. Suddenly the sound of a low moan filled the room and Aaron sighed realising that Robert had woken up. The sound was soon replaced with heavy breathing and mummers as Robert approached the living room. His hair was out of place and his t shirt crumpled from sleep. It wasn't a good look, but Robert didn't seem to care. His eyes were wide and alert as he held a large hanger out in front of him as if for protection. His attention quickly fell on Aaron and as their eyes met, Robert couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity.

"Who...what?" Robert asked. He couldn't remember the events of last night at all. He remembered leaving work and having a few pints on his own, getting slightly drunk as he felt sorry for himself, then he remembered Liam showing up at his door and them talking about Mark for some reason. Then things went slightly hazy.

Aaron darted his eyes towards the door, "I...I was just leaving." He said quickly, noticing the confusion in Robert's face and feeling embarrassed.

"No...no wait." Robert said sheepishly as he put down the hanger, "Thought you were an intruder or something." He said as he saw Aaron look at him putting the hanger away.

Aaron nodded his head.

"Well...I'm not." Aaron said bluntly, wanting to leave and not answer any questions Robert had for him.

Robert could sense Aaron's reluctant attitude and was intrigued find out why. Suddenly it dawned on him. The man in front of him was good looking, young and obviously in his prime. The clothes he was wearing were baggy and did his body no favours but Robert allowed himself to think past the barriers. He wasn't necessarily Robert's type but he was drunk last night wasn't he and he was good looking, with big beautiful blue eyes.

_Was this the awkward post one night stand meeting?_

"Did...shit...did we...?" Robert asked shyly biting his lip as he watched Aaron work out what he meant.

Aaron stared back wide eyed, "No! No...no we didn't."

Robert sighed hard, "Thank God for that."

Aaron stepped back and frowned.

"I didn't mean it like that it's just...well I was drunk so-"

"Very." Aaron said slightly relaxing as he realised that Robert wasn't as up tight as he thought he'd be.

"Did I try to-" Robert said his next thought turning to something even worse.

 

 **Rejection**.

  
"Nothing like that happened." Aaron said firmly before fidgeting on his feet. Robert frowned before looking down and seeing the bandage wrapped around Aaron's leg. Suddenly things began to click as he remembered crashing into someone, hovering over them as they carried his wait for a few minutes.

Then the awkward apology and the sight of the strangers blood.

Robert shook his head.

" _Shit_. I bumped into ya last night didn't I?" Robert said before pulling a face and rubbing his hand through his hair. 

 

_**Bumped, well it was more like crashed.** _

 

"Yeah literally." Aaron mumbled.

"Sorry about that...I was -"

"Drunk. Yeah you were."

Robert chuckled softly, "And you trusted me to bandage you up?"

Aaron looked up for the first time and met Robert's eyes, "Well it was either that or you trying to drive me to the hospital in your state."

Robert shut his eyes in embarrassment.

"Looks like I did a pretty good job though eh?"

Aaron looked down and smiled, "Yeah it's loads better. Cheers."

Robert blinked quickly, "Er no problem."

Aaron nodded his head once more and picked up his bag, he saw Robert's face fall slightly but he didn't pay much attention until Robert spoke.

"You leaving?" Robert said slowly sounding like a disappointed child.

Aaron avoided Robert's eyes, "Yeah, I've got to." 

Robert suddenly realised he was coming across as needy so pulled back.

"Right then." Aaron nodded his head again and opened the door.

Robert walked up to Aaron quickly, "At least let me ring ya a cab."

Aaron bit down on his lip. He couldn't afford that.

"No...no it's fine."

"I insist." Robert said smiling as Aaron met his eyes. He could see that Aaron wanted to say something but something was stopping him. "Listen I don't usually -"

"Usually what?" Aaron said quickly, thankful that the attention was back on Robert.

"Don't usually...get off me face and let strangers sleep on my sofa." Robert said before itching his jaw and trying to explain himself.

"Special then am I?" Aaron said looking at Robert and allowing his heart to beat in a way it hadn't before. Robert chuckled and then looked away as he saw that he was smiling at Aaron a bit too much. When he finally looked back he saw that Aaron was still holding his gaze.

"What's your name?" Robert asked, he was interested now. It was as if after one look, Aaron had managed to grab hold of his heart and not let it go until he knew more about him.

Aaron gulped hard.

He saw honesty and truth in Robert's eyes, he had stared at them for long enough. But he couldn't, he couldn't tell Robert about himself again. He couldn't let himself get dragged into Robert's life when he knew he had to leave in a matter of minutes.

Aaron looked towards the floor and contemplated telling Robert the truth about him. It was a risky move. But Robert hadn't seemed to recognise him, he didn't seem to stare at him and frown as if he was a familiar face. Aaron had no clue about how much the public knew about him. No clue about how much his life on the run had caught the media's attention, he was laying low - as low as can be. A part of him said that only people in Yorkshire and up north knew about him, not wealthy men in London. But he couldn't take that risk. He couldn't let his guard down.

"It's...it's er-" Aaron said trying to think of a name. Damn his sleeping state of mind.

"I know...it starts with an...an A right?" Robert said thinking back to the night before and the way he had guessed it.

Aaron gulped and then nodded, "Yeah." Robert smiled as Aaron darted his eyes "It's Archer." He lied.

Robert smiled again at Aaron making Aaron feel better about it. It seemed as if Robert simply believed him.

"Well Archer let me ring ya -"

"It's fine honestly...I need to get going now so -"

"I've got a car. Will that be quicker for you?" Robert asked eagerly before seeing Aaron's startled expression and pulling back.  
"Sorry I'm just tryna -"

Aaron smiled to himself as he watched Robert become flustered, it was endearing to watch. He had never seen someone care for him like this, he could sense the need Robert felt to protect him.

Something told him that Robert wasn't used to looking after people, something told him Robert was quite alone.

Aaron bit down on his lip maybe a decent meal would be good before he left, Robert seemed to want to help and a part of him wanted to succumb to Robert's obvious need to make him feel better.

"I could do with some breakfast if you've got any." Aaron said quickly feeling the need to please Robert somehow. A quick breakfast wouldn't cause any harm, and maybe a quick wash would help him stop feeling so dirty.

"After a shower?" Aaron continued before wondering if he had pushed his luck.

Robert smiled and looked down trying to hide his emotions. He couldn't really explain it but he just felt a need to help 'Archer' and he was grateful that he was letting him in.

"First door on the left." Robert said pointing to the bathroom.

Aaron walked across the hallway and his eyes darted towards the bedroom, it was dark and the bed was undone. His eyes were drawn to picture of a woman, her hair was long and wavy and blonde like Robert's. She was smiling, practically grinning and cradling her stomach. She was pregnant.

Aaron pulled his eyes away from the picture that had nothing to do with him and walked into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say I throughly appreciate all the comments left and I love hearing what you think so please continue!


	5. The inevitable questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert can't help but be curious it's just in his nature.

The shower was warm and inviting, pleasurable against Aaron's dirty skin that hadn't been washed for weeks. His hygiene levels weren't his priority at the moment. Aaron washed carefully over his arm, avoiding the cut and then furiously rubbing over the surrounding area. His eyes played tricks on him and soon he could see the blood again, it was as if he was back to that night again. Aaron panted as he scrubbed at his skin and closed his eyes to avoid the sight of his arm and the deep cut that had cleared up over the past few days.

Robert lightly knocking on the bathroom door made Aaron open his eyes wide as he became alert once more.

"Y-yeah?" Aaron stumbled as he felt the water trickle down his back.

"You a tea or coffee kinda guy?" Robert asked standing behind the door wondering whether or not to pour Aaron a coffee.

Aaron chuckled, for a minute he had thought that worst and assumed that Robert had uncovered something damning against him and wanted answers.

"Err...strong brew for me thanks." Aaron said speaking louder than Robert as the shower drained his voice.

"Good Yorkshire lad." Robert shouted back before walking back towards the kitchen and pausing as he got to the kettle.

Something about that had stirred up a memory inside, a link however small, to something that Robert had heard before. Robert shook his head blamed it on his growing hangover and poured the boiling water into a mug for 'Archer'.

Robert made Aaron a slice of toast and offered him some cereal noticing how Aaron seemed to stare at the food in awe. He hadn't been eating properly, he could tell just by looking at him. The shower had worked wonders on his complexion, he looked even more youthful and the dark circles under his eyes seemed to not look as bad as before. He looked refreshed and more awake than before, making Robert appear even more hungover and ill.

After they had eaten in a somewhat comfortable silence, Robert couldn't help but want to find out more about 'Archer'. It was in his nature to be curious, his job made him that way.

"So you from Yorkshire?" Robert said sipping his coffee and trying to act as laid back as possible.

Aaron nodded his head.

"Sounds like you're from up north too."

Robert blinked quickly, "Er yeah I'm from there too."

Aaron raised his eyebrows, "What a coincidence."

Robert laughed at the thought, it was wasn't it?

"So how come you came 'ere?" Aaron said softly. Robert looked up quickly and seemed completely off guard, he wasn't really expecting 'Archer' to want to continue chatting let alone about him.

Long story Robert thought in his head, it was the right answer. The only answer really but Robert didn't want to bore his guest with his life.

"I moved here a few years ago." Robert said. He wasn't lying but he was hardly telling the truth.

Aaron nodded his head before playing with the crumbs left on his plate.

"What about you?" Robert asked quickly filling the silence.

"Me?" Aaron asked before blinking and becoming nervous.

"Yeah...what brought ya here?" Robert asked again, softer this time.

Aaron didn't hesitant thinking about lying, there was no way Robert could know about why exactly he had travelled all this way.

"Er...er I've been moving about a bit recently." Aaron said before biting down on his lip. He didn't sound at all convincing but he was hoping Robert was kind enough not to pry anymore.

"Cool." Robert said simply.

Aaron was right, Robert wasn't convinced at all but he didn't want to let it show. His thoughts turned to a few years ago where he had told his sister that he was 'moving about a bit' when in reality all he was doing was bed hopping and staying somewhere for no longer than a few days. Aaron was homeless wasn't he? He had no where to go, no money for a decent meal and wash by the sounds of it. He couldn't just let him battle the streets of London at night, homeless and alone.

Robert looked down, he knew what it was like to be alone. A time where Liam, Matty and the girls at the office weren't apart of his life as much as they were now. A time where even Loui's support wasn't wanted...

 

* * *

 

Another ten minutes went by before there was a knock at the door that made Aaron jump. His heart raced as he looked at Robert and felt sick as his paranoia took over and told him that it was a trap, Robert had called the police and they would get him. They would take him away and he wouldn't be able to explain things for what they were.

Robert noticed Aaron's panic and instinctively placed his hand on Aaron's. Aaron stared down at their hands touching, Robert felt safe and he couldn't deny the feeling that surge through him.

"It's probably just Dean." Robert whispered as he got up and approached the door.

"Who's Dean?" Aaron asked still wary of anyone but Robert, suddenly his thoughts raced back to the picture of Robert with the curly haired man, was he...

_**Robert's Boyfriend?** _

_**Roommate?** _

**_Friend?_ **

**_Partner in crime?_ **

  
The need to question Robert stopped as Robert pulled open the door and smiled.

"Dean!" Robert said eagerly as he greeted his neighbour. Dean was the oldest friend Robert had, he was sixty seven and treated Robert like a son.

They had gotten closer after things went slightly more pear shaped and destructive in Robert's life and Dean offered his support. Now every Saturday, Dean would give Robert the paper and they would babble on about how things were going. Last week they had spent nearly an hour chatting about Robert's success but as Robert saw the fear grow in 'Archer's' eyes he realised that things would have to be shorter this week.

"How are you?" Robert asked before watching Aaron walk slowly into the bathroom again. Why didn't he want to be seen?

Aaron could barely make out Robert's conversation with the old man, but he did hear a lot of laughter and assumed that the conversation was light.

  
_'Yeah everyone was happy about it.'_

  
_'We have another one now...of course I will.'_

  
' _You too Dean, be careful and stay out of trouble alright?'_

  
_'See you later...bye.'_

  
Aaron frowned, the information he had found out was hardly enough to piece together anything about Robert that he didn't already know.

All he knew was that this Dean was obviously a dear friend of Robert's, and his voice told Aaron that he was probably a lot older than Robert too.

Aaron slowly walked out of the bathroom before flushing the chain and trying to pretend that his quick dash to the bathroom seemed plausible. Robert met his eye as he approached the room again. Aaron tried to hide his panic, sensing Robert's confusion and dreading what would come next. Robert fiddled with the paper in his hand as he tried to avoid Aaron's gaze.

The tense air grew thicker until Aaron piped up, "Who was that then?" Aaron said nervously.

Robert coughed, "Er...Dean. My neighbour."

"Mates?" Aaron asked softly.

Robert nodded his head, "Yeah, he er gives me a paper every Saturday morning."

Aaron blinked quickly as he realised that Robert was holding the paper in his hand and tracing his finger across the line. What if he was in the paper? It wasn't front page news was it? Maybe near the back...news about a fugitive.

A fugitive from Yorkshire would hardly make front page news. Aaron allowed the thoughts to circle his mind as he looked at the paper and felt the nerves crash through him.

Robert noticed like always and craned his neck towards the side, "You alright?"

Aaron gulped hard, "Yeah...yeah I just haven't really...er. I mean...well I -" he said quickly stumbling on his words.

Robert raised his eyebrows and gestured for Aaron to continue.

"Could I have a look at that?" Aaron said finally, pointing to the paper and trying to smile at Robert.

Robert frowned before passing it over to Aaron.

"You er...don't seem the newspaper type." Robert said as he rested his back against the wall.

Aaron raised his head sharply and Robert couldn't tell if he was somewhat offended by the comment, nonetheless he felt the need to explain.

"Young bloke like you...thought you'd have all that on your phone to look at." Robert said before smiling.

Aaron scoffed, "Sorry old man." He said before thinking about how much more mature Robert seemed. He was definitely a sensible sober type.

"Hey less of the old, more of the mature please." Robert said quickly.

"Yeah 'cause you were really mature last night!" Aaron snapped back causing Robert to laugh.

Aaron focused his attention on the paper, his heart beating as he turned every page and let out a sigh of relief. He was ironically no where to be found.

"Anything interesting?" Robert asked as he began washing up the dishes.

"Er ..  nah nothing really." Aaron said walking over to him, "Just wanted to be up to date with...with you know..." Robert looked up at Aaron and smiled, his nervousness with incredibly cute.

"I don't know Archer...what?" Robert teased making Aaron sigh, "The world." Aaron said sharply before laughing at his own self.

"Why do you need to be up to date? You disappeared off the face of the earth or summat?" Robert asked as he scrubbed over his own plate and let the water soak over it.

  
**_Some would say that,_** Aaron thought.

  
"Er ... I've just been a bit under the radar lately...you know." Aaron said simply.

"Oh." Robert said, prompting Aaron to continue.

"And anyways I was living in France for a bit too so I haven't really been up to date with all the shit happening here so..." Aaron continued before shaking his head and kicking himself.

 No more information Livesy.

 He was telling Robert too much, no one knew about France apart from his family and friends in emmerdale.

Robert nodded his head, that explained it. Why Aaron didn't seem to recognise him at all. Robert was well known but not that well known to be popular in France. It made Robert feel slightly more at ease, he wasn't sure but he had a feeling that his friend across from him was probably not the most law abiding citizen. Something about him just screamed edgy and somewhat volatile, he was sure he had some run ins with the police, probably hated them Robert thought.

Robert bit his lip like Aaron done minutes before thankful that 'Archer' had no clue that he was in the company of a member of the Metropolitan Police force.

Aaron looked down at the floor as he watched Robert dry the plates and stare out the window. He was telling him too much. He was grateful for the newspapers not containing any information about him...yet. That would all change though if he stayed any longer, and as he looked at Robert he felt the guilt creep in.

Robert had done nothing but care and help Aaron, and although Aaron had seen a carefree side to Robert last night, he had also seen the calm and kind side too today. He liked them both and wasn't really ready to think about Robert's reaction in a few weeks time when he saw his temporary house guest plastered all over the news. There was a hint of vulnerability about him that Aaron had sensed and the thought of anger and even a sense of betrayal overwhelming Robert as he realised that Aaron had lied to him made him feel sad.

"Listen Robert...I should be going now." Aaron said rubbing his face and sighing. Robert smiled softly and tried to hide his disappointment, he wanted Aaron to say for longer, he liked his company, he missed company at home.

"Yeah sure." Robert said continuing to dry the plates.

Aaron smiled in his direction but Robert missed it and went back to busying himself in the kitchen whilst Aaron backed away.  
"Robert." Aaron said softly "I can't thank you enough -"

"Don't be daft." Robert said quickly not wanting to stare at 'Archer' for too long and let him see his sadness.

"Seriously, no ones ever really -" Aaron said before hearing his phone ringing and immediately darting his eyes towards his coat pocket resting on the sofa.

"Sorry...er..." Aaron said walking towards his coat and picking up his phone, his eyes widened as he saw who it was "Do you mind if I take this?" He said softly causing Robert to nod and leave the room making an excuse to change his bed sheets giving Aaron some privacy.

 

* * *

 

Aaron instantly picked up as he heard Robert shut his bedroom door shut.

"Hello?" Aaron said with haste in his voice.

"Oh finally you pick up."

"Ezra please just let me explain -"

"I was waiting for you Aaron, looked like a right dick when you didn't come for it." Ezra said with anger in his voice.

"Yeah...yeah I know but it wasn't my fault. I got hurt and ended up staying with a mate." Aaron said as he looked around the living room and sighed. Shit was Robert a mate, that escalated quickly.

"Mate? In London?" Ezra said quizzing Aaron.

Robert wasn't trying to be nosy, he was just trying to hear what was going on outside. He was sure 'Archer' had been doing the same when he was chatting with Dean by the door. He couldn't hear much, the voices were low and Aaron was purposefully whispering.

"Listen that dosen't matter, have you still got it?" Aaron whispered. Robert heard. Intrigue filled his ears as he thought about what exactly was going on with his guest. Funnily enough though, Robert didn't feel scared at all he didn't feel wary about the mystery just a need to help 'Archer' still at the forefront of his mind.

"Course not." Ezra snapped back.

Aaron felt his heart sink, "You've got to be kidding me?"

Robert heard the sadness and the frustration in his voice and felt the need to comfort him.

"I had over people waiting, and they showed up, with cash."

"You're meant to be a mate." Aaron said louder this time so Robert could hear even clearer.

"Aaron...there's nothing I could do." Ezra sighed.

"When will you have another one ready?" Aaron said slowly trying to calm down.

"Monday...maybe Tuesday?" Ezra sighed awaiting Aaron's response.

Aaron's eyes grew wide, "I can't wait that long!" He snapped.

"It's the best I can do." Ezra said firmly.

"What am I supposed to do until then?" Aaron said with desperation is his voice, "I was supposed to be on the way back to France by now!"

"Yeah well it's not my fault you got hurt is it!" Ezra said loudly.

Aaron sighed loudly. "I've got nowhere to stay," he whispered loud enough for Robert to hear. He felt bad, 'Archer' quite obviously needed his help, he seemed desperate for it. Robert could take him in for a few days couldn't he...and he could let him go after right?

"I thought you said you were staying with a mate?" Ezra asked confused.

"Yeah...no...not a mate I can stay for a few days with." Aaron said flustered.

"Oh Aaron pulled then, is that what I'm hearing?" Ezra teased.

"Piss off." Aaron muttered sheepishly.

"Listen I'll call you when I have it okay?" Ezra said before hanging up and leaving Aaron to slam the phone against the wall in frustration.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn't stand, but he couldn't risk leaving and being seen.

Robert suddenly came from the bedroom and offered a comforting smile.

"Everything okay?" Robert asked softly.

Aaron thought about lying, thought about nodding his head and then bolting out the door to hide in an abandoned shed for a few days but he couldn't lie anymore. He didn't have the strength to.

"No...no it's not." Aaron said trying to hold back his tears. Robert coughed, overwhelmed by the emotion. Aaron looked around the flat fast felt familiar to him already and then back to Robert. He didn't want to sleep rough and he liked Robert's company. "Robert...I know you hardly know me... I'm just wondering...if -"

"Yes." Robert said quickly, before smiling at Aaron and seeing the relief wash over his guest's expression. He didn't want to hear 'Archer' try to explain himself and put up a case as to why he could be trusted enough to live with for a few days.

Robert didn't need to know. For the first time in ages, Robert found himself thinking about something/someone not related to work at all. His full attention was on 'Asher' and making him feel welcome, and the stress of work seemed to drift from his thoughts. Work was far from his mind.

Oh little did he know he was making up a bed for his little fugitive to sleep safe and sound for the night, safe and away from people just like him. People he wanted to catch their 'killer'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's Ezra? How does Aaron know him? What does he have?  
> Stay tuned and thank you for your lovely comments feel free to add what you think about this chapter <3


	6. Suspicon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tries to ignore reality.

_His heart was beating faster again as he buried himself into the blanket he had found on the side of the road. It was dirty and filled with holes but he didn't care. The cold air hit him harshly adding another level of pain. The sound of footsteps approaching his surrounding made him feel sick, they were growing closer and closed until he felt the need to physically hold onto his mouth to stop the panicked breathes._

_Then they stopped._

 

* * *

 

Aaron jumped up from the sofa, shaking slightly as he tried his hardest to recover. Aaron relaxed almost instantly though as he realised where he was, the view of London outside made him look in awe. He had only been to London a handful of times in the past and when he did he never got to experience such a wonderful view.

It made him feel calm and relaxed as he watched the sun beam down on the water beneath making it shimmer.

Aaron pulled his eyes away from the view and back towards the kitchen area, Robert wasn't up yet and maybe he could be helpful and make him a morning coffee. Aaron smiled as he thought of Robert, he didn't know him but in a way he did. He had only been in his company for a day but something told Aaron that Robert didn't really allow people to get too close to him. Robert appeared sharp and somewhat popular, he had friends but a part of Aaron couldn't help but think that he didn't make new ones very easily. The picture on the shelf to Aaron's right of Robert with the curly haired boy told him that it still held some value although Robert was considerably younger in the image, he still knew the man.

Aaron mumbled softly before blinking and looking around for a mug. He didn't want to nosy through Robert's draws to find one and so was thankful when his eyes met a small brown mug on the side of the surface. Aaron poured in the boiling water, the coffee and a dash of milk - clearly remembering the dark colour of Robert's coffee from the day before. Aaron picked up the mug contemplating whether or not to knock on Robert's bedroom door. The sound of a hushed low breath told him not to, instead he decided to leave it on the table near the hallway, it was near Robert's bedroom and he was bound to see it when he finally woke up.

Twenty minutes passed and Aaron had decided to take a shower. A part of him felt bad for not asking Robert first but he was still asleep and well he couldn't really wake him up for such a silly reason. Aaron quickly heated Robert's coffee in the microwave for him just in case he decided to wake up any time soon and then headed into the bathroom.

Robert sighed loudly, it was Sunday morning and the sound of the shower hissing had woken him up. At first Robert was his confused self, wondering who was in his shower as if many people lived with him. It could have only been one person 'Archer' right?

Robert bit his lip before scratching his head and thinking about how care free he had acted the day before. Even after hearing a rather sketchy conversation between 'Archer' and the man on the phone, Robert still took him in, he still agreed to the man staying with him for a few days.

_Jesus what was he thinking._

Walking out into the hallway Robert stopped for a minute. The door of the bathroom was ajar and the sight of 'Archer' made him wet his lips. What are ya doing?! Robert stared wide eyed at the mirror that was steamed up now, he could see Aaron's reflection in it though. He could see his silhouette and _fuck_ was he good. Robert bit down hard on his lips and tried to stop the rush racing down to his throbbing cock. The shower stopped and Robert darted towards the living room.

He couldn't have his house guest thinking he was some sort of perv.

Robert smiled as he looked at the mug of coffee still slightly warm, Robert had missed the little things like that. Someone making him a morning coffee. He felt silly when he thought about how much he valued them after things went bad. Aaron suddenly approached the room. _Fuck_. His hair was wet and curly, his eyes blue and soft and his body well it looked pretty nice underneath the black shirt now wet from the shower. Robert couldn't deny the attraction he somehow felt towards 'Archer' it wasn't just pity.

"Made ya a coffee." Aaron said softly as he pointed to the mug near Robert. Robert couldn't think of what to say, his mind still focused on the events of the past five minutes.

"You alright?" Aaron asked, it was his time to ask questions and be concerned as he felt Robert just stare at him blankly.

Robert raised his eyebrows breaking out of his trance, "Er yeah...sorry I was...miles away there."

Aaron bit down on his lip wondering why Robert had turned red, was he making him feel uncomfortable?

"Thanks for the coffee..." Robert said softly trying to hide his blush. 

"Well it's the least I could do..." Aaron said mirroring Robert's words from the night before "I hope me staying here is...you know alright...?"

Robert blinked quickly, "Why wouldn't it be?"

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "'Cos I'm just a stranger, you don't know anything about me and -"

"Well what do I need to know eh?" Robert said crossing his arms and frowning slightly.

Aaron rolled his head back, why the hell did he have to speak.

"Nothing I just meant -" 

"Well okay then let's get this straight..." Robert said deciding that 'Archer' had given him the perfect opportunity to clear up any questions he had.

"You're not in danger?"

Aaron gulped hard.

  
_I might be soon._

  
"No." He lied. What was the point in telling Robert?

"You have friends and family?"

"Yes." He said slowly, before shaking his head and looking towards the floor. Just thinking about them made Aaron want to cry. He missed them.

"And they know where you are?"

"Yeah." He lied. If they did he would probably be back in France right now, his uncle would easily be able to help him out.

Robert sighed slowly, his house guest seemed to be answering pretty quickly.

"You're not...in trouble...with the police?"

Aaron gulped hard again before shaking his head, he couldn't even bring himself to actually deny it because he was bound to make it obvious.

Robert slouched his shoulders done, "Fine then." He said slowly before walking towards Aaron, "There's no need for me to be unsure about you staying for a few days."

Aaron relaxed his shoulders as he realised the interrogation was over now.

"It's not like you're a killer mate." Robert said before patting Aaron's back and walking towards the bedroom.

Aaron laughed nervously before biting down on his lip.

 

* * *

 

An hour later and Robert and Aaron found themselves both resting on the sofa flicking through the tv as if they had known each other for years and years.

"Urgh God not this." Aaron said pulling a face as Robert rested the remote next to him, deciding on The Bill. Robert looked up before biting his lip, this was going to be interesting.

Robert turned to face Aaron, "You not into police dramas?"

Aaron scoffed, "Not into police full stop mate."

Robert looked away, he was expecting it but somehow he took the insult personally.

"Why's that then?" Robert asked defensively.

"Not to be trusted if ya ask me." Aaron said without giving Robert a second look, "They listen to what they want to hear." He said thinking back to the past and the way he was quickly judged by the people who were supposed to protect him.

Robert frowned, "Not all of them...not the investigators who help solve murders and find the missing people out there-" he said with passion in his voice that made Aaron looked up and bite his lip.

"Er...yeah I suppose they're not that bad." Aaron mumbled.

Robert bit his lip realising that he was a tad too passionate about proving his point. Aaron shivered and Robert couldn't help but notice the dampness on Aaron's clothes that probably wasn't helping.

"You not got anything else to wear?" Robert asked softly.

Aaron shook his head, "Didn't really expect to be staying here."

"I thought you said you were moving around?" Robert asked before frowning.

  
**Shit.**

  
"Er...yeah but not round 'ere...too posh for me." Aaron said trying to lighten the mood.

"So where were you going?" Robert said quickly before instantly regretting it.

Aaron bit down on his lip, this time allowing himself to actually to think of what to say.

"I was just passing through really."

"In the middle of the night?" Robert couldn't help himself he just wanted to ask more and more questions despite Aaron's obvious discomfort.

"Shit Robert do ya want to know my date of birth too?" Aaron snapped loudly.

Robert got the message, he really did and so he decided to drop the subject entirely despite his curiosity.

"S-sorry I just -" Robert said slowly.

"Forget it." Aaron snapped back.

Robert looked at Aaron, he was standing up over him now and shivering again.

"Do you want to borrow something of mine...a jumper or..." Robert said.

Aaron sighed, Robert was so kind and he couldn't stay mad at him.

"Yeah...if that's okay..." Aaron whispered.

Robert nodded before walking towards his room and retrieving an old jumper of his before walking back to the living room and smiling at the man who sat comfortably on his sofa. A part of him still couldn't really believe that he had been so welcoming, Robert wasn't like that. Since...well since it all happened Robert kept his distance around people apart from work. He didn't have friends outside of work, let alone strangers staying on his sofa. But 'Archer' seemed different and Robert couldn't deny the ease he felt around him, he didn't feel judged by him at all. Maybe it was because he didn't know who he was or because he felt inferior, Robert didn't mind though.

"Fancy getting some lunch?" Robert asked after watching another two episodes of The Bill and realising that he didn't have a lot of food.

Aaron stared up wide eyed at Robert. What outside? Aaron couldn't leave, no way.

"What...like out?" Aaron mumbled softly before darting his eyes across to the door.

Robert bit his lip noticing the tremble in his voice.

 

_Why was he so scared?_

 

"Yeah...that's the idea." Robert said moving towards the bedroom to get his shoes "I haven't got anything in at the moment-"

"I don't mind." Aaron said quickly trying to think of a reason for the conversation to be over "I'll be fine with a packet of crisps and a few biscuits."

Robert looked towards the floor realising that that was probably exactly what his house guest had been living off for God knows how long.

"No...no you need summat decent." Robert said putting his shoes on and trying not to see 'Archer's' panic.

Aaron blinked quickly as he tried to think of what to say but Robert was already walking his way and putting his coat on.

"And besides...I fancy a nice walk." Robert said. He was testing 'Archer' now and although he wasn't enjoying seeing him struggle, he couldn't help but feel curious about it all, "You coming smiler?"

Aaron looked towards the floor. He couldn't risk anyone seeing him or Robert seeing a paper with his face plastered on it this morning. It was too risky. If he was leaving it wouldn't be to go for a nice casual stroll it would be to disappear again.

"No."

Robert bit his lip as if the one word had managed to confirm his doubts about the man who was staying with him. He wasn't just down on his luck. He was in trouble wasn't he.

Aaron saw the disappointment in Robert's eyes followed by sudden realisation and so felt the need to continue, "My leg...I don't want to...to move it around too much."

Robert nodded slowly looking away from 'Archer' he had nothing to say really. Robert went to walk out the door but then swiftly turned back round, he could trust his house guest to be on his own right?

Aaron smiled up at Robert as if he had read his mind and wanted to assure him that he wouldn't rush off, "You can trust me." The words dropped out and Aaron felt his stomach churn.

 

**What a liar.**

 

Robert stared open mouthed at 'Archer' touched by the little comment that managed to ease the tension he was feeling.

"I'll be back soon..." Robert whispered softly before smiling at walking out the door and down the stairs into the street.

Robert stared down at the array of food he had to pick from. It had been so long since Robert had to do this, pick food out for someone else. Living on his own had managed to make his trips to the supermarket very swift and efficient. Even at the office Robert had always managed to dodge the job of doing the sandwiches rounds at lunch. Robert gingerly picked up a small plastic tub of pasta, it looked decent enough but shopping for two meant that Robert had to think about what 'Archer' wanted as well. Robert reached out and grabbed some crisps, a packet of biscuits, a large baguette filled with ham and cheese and then a cereal bar.

Robert smiled as he walked to the checkout after picking up a small sandwich for himself realising he wasn't that hungry and was more focused on feeding his guest. Robert suddenly felt his pocket vibrate and couldn't help but frown as he wondered what it was, fishing inside Robert saw his phone and rolled his eyes. He hardly ever used it and especially not on weekends. The only time Robert ever needed to use his phone was to contact his sister or step mum. The rest of the time his laptop sufficed and he received any emails he needed that way.

Robert peered down as he realised he had a message from Grace.

\- **SAVE THE DATE!!!** _Drinks next Friday after work to celebrate my birthday and hopefully some development in this shitty case ;)))_

Robert sighed as he realised that he could hardly miss his friends birthday. He couldn't blame her for thinking he would be up for it though, Robert once was as a party mad as Liam although he hated to think about the way he used to block out the pressures of life drink by drink. Robert shivered remembering the taste of alcohol from the other night, it made him heave slightly as he thought back to the mess he found himself in.

Suddenly Robert stopped dead in his tracks, his mind fell towards the case. The impossible one that everyone seemed to hate working on. A part of him still believed that the man in question was simply misunderstood and the feeling was new and fresh in his cold and calculating work mind. Someone who used to be in trouble but was being hunted down for the wrong reasons...someone like...

**Archer.**

Robert shook his head and almost smiled as he thought about how silly it sounded but then the smile suddenly faded as he remembered the fugitives blue eyes, the false smile - he had seen it in 'Archer' time and time again.

No. What was he doing?

This must have been a coincidence.

It didn't stop the feeling inside though, the sense of fear he felt inside thinking about the fact that he has welcomed in a fugitive. Suddenly he grabbed his phone and messaged Liam, he was the first name he saw and although he was hardly reliable he was desperate. Desperate to find out if the voices in his head were telling him the truth, did he have a fugitive living with him.

 

To: **Liam**

_Got any photos of Aaron Livesy?_

 

Robert sent it quicker than he thought and then suddenly went through the things he remembered in his head.

 

Last seen in Leeds, 'Archer' was from Yorkshire. _**Shit**_.

Early twenties, 'Archer' was bound to be the same age. **_Shit_**.

_How could he have been so stupid?_

  
Robert stared down at his phone urging a picture of Aaron to appear to confirm his doubts but nothing happened and after a few minutes of staring down he decided to put it away.

 

* * *

 

Robert felt his heart racing as he approached the flat, his mind was filling with all these ideas about whether or not 'Archer' would still be there and if he was in fact Aaron Livesy. As Robert drew closer he couldn't help but hear his house guest talking in hushed tones. He was on the phone again. Robert leaned in determined to find out at least something worthwhile.

Aaron couldn't believe it, Ezra was ringing him about some sort of delays.

"You have to be kidding me." Aaron said bluntly.

Robert blinked quickly controlling his breathing, he couldn't help but hear the aggression in Aaron's voice.

"Listen I'm sorry okay but it isn't my fault...my boss ain't having a good time, he nearly got arrested -"

"Arrested?" Aaron said louder. Great this is all he needed.

Robert frowned, Jesus was 'Archer' in trouble.

"Well did he get caught with it or..."

"Nah just some old bird calling 'cause she thought he was some sort of drug lord." Ezra scoffed.

"This ain't funny Ezra, I'm desperate." Aaron said shaking his head. Things were just getting worse weren't they.

Robert heard the sentence and he couldn't work out whether he was grateful or regretful. At least he had a name, Ezra. He could work with that. Robert shook his head what was he thinking, 'Archer' wasn't one of his victims, he didn't want his help so why was he this worried...he was only a stranger. And maybe even a fugitive. No not his fugitive, just quite a coincidence.

"I know...I'm trying Aaron." Ezra sighed before making his excuses and hanging up the phone.

Aaron tried to fight back his tears as he slammed his fist against the sofa harshly.

"Fuck." Aaron sighed as he felt himself get even more angry about his situation.

Robert sill rested his head against the door, suddenly feeling his heart hurt for 'Archer' who obviously needed his help. Robert shook his head again, what was he doing? This was just a stranger who he was kindly letting sleep on his sofa for a few nights right?not a dear old friend that he felt obligated to help. It was really none of his business. Robert opened the door and tried to smile af 'Archer' who was now slouched on the sofa in the same position as when Robert left.

His face was red and blotchy as if he had been crying but Robert didn't want to think about that.

"So...I got ya ham and cheese..." Robert said ignoring the man's fragile state, "Is that alright?" He continued.

Aaron sighed softly and looked up at Robert and then at the small bag he was carrying filled with food for him.

"It's great...listen thanks for everything." Aaron said before feeling the tears fill in his eyes. He was completely overwhelmed by everything once again and the need to thank the only person successfully helping him was making him feel emotional.

_Shit don't cry._

Robert couldn't help but feel warmth towards the man who sat in front of him, his thanks said with such sincerity it made him smile, he seemed so genuine and it only made Robert feel even more sorry for him. He certainly didn't look like the cold thug he was in search of. But maybe he was just a good actor? Then he saw his face, saw his eyes fill with tears and he felt a lump in his throat, he couldn't cope with tears.

_Shit don't cry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not sure what The Bill is, it was a police drama in the UK that was on for years! Anyways tell me what you think!


	7. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As suspicion melts away a sense of closeness creeps in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the fic, although Robert lived in Yorkshire - he didn't live in emmerdale with the sugdens, I didn't want to make too many coincidences! 
> 
> Anyways...happy reading ;)

Robert didn't know what do with himself and so decided to simply walk towards Aaron and punch his arm softly, it was something that Liam would do when he found himself in those situations.

Aaron looked up and smiled, he could see Robert was at least trying to make him feel better and although he still felt like shit Robert had made the tension he felt slip away slightly.

"You don't need to thank me...seriously Archer -" Robert said softly.

Aaron lifted his head and then pushed it down again when he suddenly heard Robert say the name he had given him with such sincerity.

"No stop." Aaron said before backing away and suddenly feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

"What?" Robert said with a frown on his face, "What did I-"

"Nothing...nothing it's me..." Robert blinked softly allowing Aaron to continue, "I need to leave." He couldn't stay there a minute longer, not now he felt this guilt.

Robert bit down on his lip and decided to take the plunge as he saw 'Archer' begin to move towards his bag, "I can help you." He said quickly.

Aaron turned round swiftly, "How? Listen I -"

"I work for the police." Robert said bluntly deciding that his house guest needed to know that he could help him.

Aaron let his mouth fall open in disbelief. Fuck this. He couldn't be involved with anyone working for the police, it was the riskiest shit Aaron could be doing.

"I...I'm an investigator...I work on the...the big cases like murder and..." Robert sighed quickly trying to make 'Archer' understand.

Aaron shook his head, well this was getting better and better wasn't it? Big cases. Not just a regular Bobby on the beat, a real legit investigator who could make a few phone calls and get him locked up for years.

"Who...who says I...I need ya help?" Aaron said bluntly placing his bag back down and staring at Robert intensely.

Robert blinked softly and Aaron shook his head before picking up his bag again and realising he needed to get out before he said something he might regret. Robert watched 'Archer' panicking slightly as he saw that his bags were filling and he was almost ready to leave.

"Who's Ezra then?" Robert said without thinking.

_What the hell was he doing?_

Aaron stopped dead in his tracks. Game over. His sneaky detective had a name, Ezra's name.

"You...you don't know what you're on about." Aaron said moving towards Robert and trembling with fear and anger, "I'd stop speaking if I were you." He said clenching his fists.

 _Oh god was he pathetic_ , as if he could even manage to throw a half decent punch in his state, the shaking in his hands would surely make him miss spectacularly.

Robert wasn't scared by 'Archer's' reaction, if anything he found the anger intriguing.

He had dealt with angry young men in the past, time and time again but Robert knew his little house guest seemed to have more substance than the violent men he had come across before. Or at least he hoped.

**_Don't throw a punch. Don't throw a punch._ **

He insisted suddenly not wanting 'Archer' to be the ruthless thug Aaron Livesy.

"Oh yeah...go on hit me." Robert said oozing a confidence he didn't know he had "Let me know exactly why you're in all this shit."

Aaron broke his stare and pulled away from Robert, making Robert breathe a sigh of relief - he didn't throw a punch.

"You know nothing about me or-"

"Or what?" Robert said eagerly moving towards Aaron, "What you're going through?"

Aaron turned away slowly.

"Listen to me...I may not be in that field, you know helping people lay low for a bit but...my mate Charlie is - if I tell him about ya he could help."

Aaron allowed himself to contemplate the idea for a few seconds, hardly believing the amount of kindness he was receiving.

"I...I...you can't." Aaron said firmly.

"He could get you somewhere with police outside, so no one would know where you are, be able to get to ya...if...of you're trouble -"

Aaron smiled to himself it sounded like the safe haven he so desperately needed, "I can't -"

Robert rolled his head and then sighed, "You told me...that you weren't in any trouble. I asked you and ya said no!" He said frustration kicking in.

"I know! But it's not your problem." Aaron said desperately.

Robert might as well of said **'ARE YOU A FUGITIVE?'** but he was too intrigued to see what 'Archer' would say next.

"It is if I'm gonna get hounded on by some group of boys looking for ya in the middle of the night!" Robert blurted out.

"Nothing happened last night did it? Did it?" Aaron said frustrated by the situation.

"No...no nothing happened." Robert mumbled, "But you can't deny that...that you're in trouble...is someone coming after you?"

Robert continued hinting at the police but wondering if it was actually something to do a group of boys coming after him.

_Yeah the likes of you mate._

Aaron shifted uncomfortably _God_ this was awkward, "Robert please just drop it-"

"No, I'm not until I've got to the bottom of this alright so you might as well just tell me now bef-" Robert said willing him to admit the truth.

"Alright." Aaron sighed before sitting down on the sofa preparing a lie that would be suitable for Aaron to stay another night without any questions being chucked his way.

"I was in trouble...was past tense, but I'm fine now honestly."

Robert bit his lip not buying the story at all.

"So why didn't you want to come out with me? Why did you race away when you heard Dean knocking yesterday? As..as if you were scared or something..."

 _Shit Robert really was an investigator_.

"Why do I feel like this is some sort of interrogation? Aaron said trying to buy some time.

"C'mon..." Robert said softly trying a different approach.

Aaron shrugged, "I don't know I mean...I guess I'm just not...I haven't gotten over it all." He lied.

"Over what?" Robert asked.

_Shit, what a great question._

"Er...er over ya know getting involved in the wrong crowd...they live near here so..."  
Robert nodded his head and Aaron let out a sigh of relief. Thank god it looked like Robert seemed to believe him. He was wrong though, Robert still has his suspicions.

"And...this Ezra bloke...who's he?" Robert asked once more question on his mind.

"A mate. The mate I was supposed to be staying with, the reason why I'm in London." Aaron said sorta truthfully.

"So why aren't you?" Robert said his questions just dripping out of his mouth.

"Because...he hasn't got the keys to his flat yet...he only moved in a few days ago and...well at least that's what I thought...turns out things weren't as they seemed. I had nowhere to go, didn't know anyone round here so that's why you know I was grateful that you let me stay until things are sorted." Aaron said softly.

Wow this lying thing was becoming a breeze.

Robert nodded slowly, that explained why Aaron seemed so desperate to stay with someone as he was on the phone. He had nowhere else right? The voice in Robert's head was still ringing, was he lying?

"So..." Robert said awkwardly, "You're welcome to stay." He continued looking back to the half packed bag.

Aaron turned towards it and blinked softly, one more night. Just one. He could ignore the fact that Robert was an investigator for a few more hours and get well feed and well rested until he'd be back on the streets awaiting Ezra's call.

"Just until tomorrow...then I'll be out of your hair I promise."

Robert nodded his head, "Just one condition." He said swiftly as he watched Aaron walked towards him. "No more lies, just tell me the truth."

Aaron nodded his head knowing that he wouldn't be telling him anything anymore.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." He whispered childishly making Robert smile.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day was spent with mindless chatter and talk about light topical subjects that made Aaron smile. Robert was trying to forget about his doubts but then of course Robert checked his phone every two minutes to check if Liam had replied.

After an hour of eating and watching tv Aaron felt more and more comfortable in Robert's company and as it grew into night, the beer rested in both their hands made their tongues looser.

"So you...you from Yorkshire?" Robert said softly, once again trying to find out information.

Aaron nodded his head, "Yeah." _Shit Livesy shut your mouth_. Aaron looked over at Robert who was slightly tipsy now more so than Aaron.

Aaron had no choice but to nod along and take another sip of his beer, Robert suddenly jumped up and looked at Aaron.

"I used to live near there..."

Aaron felt his eyes flutter, well that was a coincidence.

"Really?"

"Yeah on a farm." Robert said before smiling.

Aaron smirked, "Farmer boy." He teased ribbing Robert and smiling.

Aaron couldn't help but react positively to the news, it was as if he had just uncovered another layer to this well put together man who seemed to have it all.

"Yeah, lived on a farm since I was a kid." Robert said softly thinking back to his youth made him smile and wince at the same time.

"Until when?" Aaron asked.

"Er...left when I was about nineteen." Robert said before shaking his head and sighing.

"You alright?" Aaron said seeing the emotion in Robert.

"I didn't want to leave..." Robert said before knocking back another bottle of beer, he didn't open up like this to anyone.

"Then why -"

"I was a nightmare. My dad picked me brother...Andy over me." Robert sighed, "I pushed him too far I reckon, and in the end he just had enough."

Aaron bit his lip. He couldn't imagine Robert being a handful as a kid, he seemed so well put together now. Of course he could relate, he had been the definition of a 'nightmare' for his mum when he came back after all those years away. He made her life hell and then heaven at times, only at times though.

Now he only hoped that she smiled when she thought of her son and no longer cried at the choices he had made.

"I was the same. Pushed my mum to breaking point too many times." Aaron sighed.

Robert cranes his neck to face Aaron better, "You had support though?"

"Well yeah...my sorta dad Paddy took me in...and I come from a big family too. More cousins than I can count really."

Robert scoffed.

"What about you? Didn't you have anywhere to go?" Aaron asked.

Robert shook his head remembering the panic he felt as he left the village that day, he had no one and nowhere to turn to.

"No..."

"Was it just you and your bother?" Aaron said suddenly so eager to turn the attention on the man who had been so very kind to him.

"No I had a little sister, too small to come with me or...or even really understand that I wouldn't be back" Robert whispered.

"What about now? She must be-"

"Probably about your age." Robert said cutting in and staring at 'Archer' "You remind me of her a bit you know..."

Aaron smiled and leaned against the side of the sofa, "And how old am I then?"

"About twenty three, twenty four." Robert said shaking his head slowly and trying to figure it out.

"Yeah..."

Robert gulped hard, he was right before. Now he had an age bracket.

"And I am-"

"Old?" Aaron said before laughing causing Robert to gasp comically.

"Oi! I'll have you know I'm actually under thirty." Robert said sharply.

"Twenty nine then?" Aaron said watching as Robert squirmed away and nodded his head.

"So...you don't keep in contact with her anymore?" Aaron said after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Who Vic?" Robert said referring to his sister "Yeah me and Victoria sorta kept in touch."

"And your brother?" Aaron whispered.

Robert scoffed before shaking his head, "Not at first. I've only been back a few times, the first was when...when my dad Jack died."

Aaron open his mouthed slowly, "Oh...shit sorry."

Robert shook his head, "It's alright...I didn't stick around for long. Just went to the funeral and then I saw my step mum and Vic...had a catch up, but then Andy came and -"

"He weren't happy." Aaron said finishing Robert's sentence.

"Yeah...I left and I didn't go back until...until a few years ago." Robert said suddenly remembering once of the hardest times in his life. He didn't want to think about it.

"Did you made amends?" Aaron said slowly feeling slightly tipsy now.

Robert stayed silent for a few minutes as the memories invaded his head and made him feel sick.

"Eh?" Robert said quickly after seeing Aaron stare at him.

"I said when you got back...did you make peace with your brother?"

Robert shook his head slowly remembering his brother's support, so soft and gentle it was.

"Yeah...we did. I go back when I can now, it's just a bit harder though recently with my job."

Aaron gulped the realisation of Robert's job hitting him like bricks.

"What do they think about you being am investigator? Was it a shock?" Aaron said quickly.

Robert sighed remembering their reaction,"It was at first." Robert looked away as he recalled the words he had told them, the reasons behind the choice and the way they supported him after "But then...they understood and they were proud." He said with a smile on his face.

He missed seeing his sister smile or hearing his step mum call him 'pet' and even feeling Andy wrap his bulky arms around him tightly.

"I'm busy most of the time, Grace says I work too much." Robert said before suddenly walking towards his phone and remembering the message she had sent earlier.

Aaron blinked quickly as he thought about what Robert had said.

  
_Grace?_

_  
Who was Grace?_

  
"Everything alright?" Aaron asked softly.

"Shit, I didn't reply." Robert said quickly bringing up her message and already preparing himself for her sassy reply.

"She your girlfriend?" Aaron asked not meaning to sound so sad about it.

"No...I work with her, she's a mate." Robert said smiling at Aaron as though reassuring him of the fact. Why?

"Didn't think you had many of those, seems like you do." Aaron said as Robert walked back to the sofa.

 

**To: Grace**

_I should be able to make it._

 

Robert placed his phone down on the table and sighed, "Sorry what was that?" he said realising that he hadn't heard properly.

"Nothing, I just...Dean and Grace..." Aaron said before turning to the picture on the side, "Whoever that bloke is, you have a lot of friends."

"And that's surprising?" Robert said not knowing whether to be offended or not.

"Didn't think investigators where the sorta friendly type." Aaron said before fidgeting with his top.

Robert scoffed, "Yeah well...most are from work." Robert said, "I don't usually get too close to people." Je said suddenly blushing as he saw 'Archer' smile in his direction. Was he touched by the comment? Robert chewed his lip before turning to the picture again, "I've known Loui though for years...since I left Yorkshire."

"Looks like you did okay for yourself you know." Aaron said looking round the stylish flat and the view of London.

"Wasn't always living the high life." Robert said sighing as he thought back to the way he struggled at the start before meeting Loui and befriending his friends who managed to put him on the right path. It didn't take long for him to get a decent job and a nice flat, and then even after the disaster that happened, Loui managed to stir his friend in the right direction, making the most of Robert's tragedy and turning it into a profession.

"It's down to him mostly that I'm here now." Robert said thinking about Loui.

"Well, we've always struggled haven't we." Aaron said before sighing.

 _Care to tell me about yours?_ Robert cheekily thought.

Robert looked towards the clock in the corner of the room and widened his eyes, if was nearly midnight.

"Shit. I have work in the morning...what the fuck am I doing?" Robert said slapping his face and then laughing tiredly.

Aaron turned away and shook his head so Robert couldn't see the upset in his eyes. He was probably going to find out all about the case tomorrow, or Aaron being witnessed in London and then it would hit him and Aaron would feel ten times worse.

"Better be off to bed." Robert said before rubbing his eyes and putting the bottles of beer in the bin.

Aaron stopped up for a reason he didn't really know.

"I leave at about...half eight." Robert said trying to warn his house guest, "I'll try not to make too much noise."

"Don't be daft." Aaron said as he watched Robert's sincere face try to convince him.

Aaron smiled at Robert and Robert smiled back and quickly Aaron felt himself want to see the same smile over and over again, he was becoming attached to a stanger, to in many ways his enemy.

He couldn't stay another night, he couldn't laugh and joke and find out things about Robert that made him smile and feel even more curious about him. Aaron had only known him for a few days but quickly he had changed from a silly honest drunk, to a reasonable kind man, a respectable investigator, a former farm boy, a man with only few close friends to now someone Aaron enjoyed watching smile.

The realisation that he was probably in too deep made Aaron feel sick.

"Listen Robert...thanks for everything but er...I think I'll be off by tomorrow." Aaron said before kicking himself as he saw Robert's raw reaction. Sadness.

Robert blinked quickly, "Oh..." he whispered, "Right then." Robert continued before looking towards his feet.

"You know...Ezra's got things sorted now and well he messaged me earlier asking if I was coming or not so..." Aaron lied.

"Are you sure?" Robert asked, another way of asking if 'Archer' was lying.

"Yeah. I'll probably be gone by the time you get back from work." Aaron said softly making Robert gulp hard.

"Okay then." Robert whispered "Well...er it's been a pleasure and...I hope things work out for you." He said slowly, he wasn't lying but of course he was holding back.

Aaron looked up and met Robert's eyes, "Thank you, for everything." He said slowly trying to savour the moment between them and smiling softly.

"Well I did sorta leave you immobilised didn't I?" Robert said chuckling softly trying to lighten the mood.

"Thanks for listening though, and not judging." Aaron mumbled softly.

"Ditto." Robert said quickly before watching Aaron smile shyly.

"Smile more." Robert said simply.

"I'll try and find a reason to." Aaron said before thinking about how the thought of a silly drunk Robert would probably always cause him to smile slightly, or the ease in which he slept the first night round the stranger's house.

"See ya later then smiler." Robert said softly as he walked towards his bedroom after holding out his arm and staring into Aaron's eyes as he did the same, the handshake lingered for some time both men wondering if a hug would be entirely appropriate.

Robert was the first to pull away leaving Aaron alone in the living room still relishing from his nickname, adopting him quickly.

Robert bit down on his lip and fought the urge to do something crazy like walk back into the room and hug his house guest, he wasn't a touchy feely sorta person but why did 'Archer' make him feel so spontaneous and carefree?

_God what on earth was he actually thinking?_

He was more than sure that things were not as they seemed, and that Aaron Livesy was a lot closer than he thought. He couldn't deny a sense of relief wash over him, secretly knowing that the likelihood of a fugitive sleeping on his sofa was going to be gone by the next night. Robert rested his head against the pillow realising that by the next night he would be alone again, just like always.

  
Well it was fun whilst it lasted, wasn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you how much your kudos and comments mean to me! Thank you so very much, tell me what you think so far!


	8. Truth spills out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert discovers the truth.

_He couldn't breathe, couldn't speak the rush inside him was making him feel dizzy with fear. Then he could hear the sirens, closer and closer until he could make out the pattern and their direction. It was nearly too late._

* * *

Aaron stirred in his sleep, tossing and turning as he tried to go back to sleep for a few more hours, just a few more hours before he'd be up again.

Robert rubbed his eyes and sat up in his bed, it was seven o'clock and a Monday morning which meant work work work was the only thing on his mind. He wasn't totally up for it, he hadn't really left things well with Jensen very well and he wasn't ready for a stern talking to from his boss. Then his thoughts turned to Liam who would probably be wondering why he had sent him that message on the weekend, he could just imagine his face - urgh tosser.

Robert then allowed himself to think about 'Archer' God did he feel stupid calling him that when deep down he knew that he knew the truth. He was Aaron wasn't it? Robert frowned softly as he thought about how he would feel if he was certain, if he walked into work and was met with even more damning evidence. He wasn't particularly angry or scared as he thought about the realisation, if anything he just felt disappointed. Disappointed that the man staying with him had been lying all along, it was a sad thought but one that he had learnt to accept. A part of him felt the need to approach 'Archer' about it all, it made sense to have it out with him but then he thought back to the night before and the way he had been able to open up to the boy, the way the boy had listened to him talk about his past. He wasn't the thug that Aaron Livesy was described as and that point made the hope he had in him still, linger and linger until the thought faded.

That one question, that blinded hope - what if? _What if he wasn't Aaron and it was all just a coincidence?_ He was leaving now and so there was no point in trying to force a confession.

_If it was Aaron then he would have the advantage right?_

_He would know all this information about his fugitive and the case would be cleared up in no time right?_

The shower was cold and harsh making Robert feel awake and somber, the tiredness he felt had slowly left him and even the dull headache from the beers last night hadn't kicked up a fuss being enough.

Robert chewed on his lip as he came into the living room half expecting a coffee to be made for him as if he and 'Archer' were some old married couple who did those sorts of things. Robert felt his heart race when he caught sight of his house guest, his eyes shut softly and his chest moving up and down slowly every few seconds as he slept soundly. It was interesting to see how innocent he seemed whilst sleeping, the stress and the worry Robert had seen all seemed to melt away.

It was then and there when Robert realised that he didn't care if 'Archer' was Aaron or if Aaron was 'Archer', it didn't matter to him in that moment did it? If he was Aaron then he would surely catch him in the end, one way or another and although he would probably get ribbed by Jensen again about the long process, it would be worth it. It would be worth it because right now 'Archer' simply needed a break, a pause from the running and Robert was okay with that - the days with him had shown him that he was kind and supportive, not a ruthless scumbag he was relishing in the fact that he had managed to pull the wool over an investigators eyes.

Robert played with his tie before looking down at 'Archer's' bag and seeing the emptiness inside. Robert looked further inside despite his better judgment and suddenly saw a small amount of money, pennies. Then a small piece of paper crumbled up and containing a number:  **07795851814**

It was written quickly and the writing was messy but Robert could just about make it out without squinting too much. Intrigue rushed over Robert as he wondered if it held any significance, without thinking twice Robert began to jot down the number on his hand using a pen on the table ahead. Suddenly the sound of 'Archer' stirring pulled him away and made him think about what exactly he was doing.

Robert looked down at his watch and sighed realising that it was time to leave. He soon turned his attention towards 'archer' again, smiling as he saw him resting and then feeling a pang of doubt hit him all over again. It hurt him to think that he wouldn't see him when he got back, but then it was better than seeing him again when he finally caught the fugitive and saw 'Archer's' blue eyes staring back at him. Instinct suddenly took over and the need to help and protect his blue eyed guest made Robert dive into his wallet and take out some cash before placing it in 'Archer's' bag, hoping it would benefit him and making his little smiler have something to actually smile about when he saw that he could afford a decent meal for the day.

The act was simple and kind enough for Robert to feel good about, and as he left his flat he smiled as he thought about the fact that all in all he had done a good deed for someone who obviously needed his help regardless of his position.

 

* * *

 

"Well look who it is bright and early." Loui shouted obviously loud and trying to wind Robert up.

"Err what's that supposed to mean?" Robert sighed as he walked across the office and towards the staff room.

_Damn he needed coffee._

"Well from what I heard you had a pretty rough Friday night." Loui said now biting on his lip. Great Liam and his big fucking mouth.

"What ya talking about?" Robert said cooly.

"Lee said you were pretty out of it on Friday -"

_Oh great now everyone knows I'm some pathetic drunk._

"Yeah well...I was drunk." Robert said bluntly.

In walked Alicia with a sneaky smile on her face also.

"What?" Robert asked as he watched her smile at Loui.

"Oh nothing...just glad you seemed to be in high spirits on Friday." She said before giggling.

"Why is me being a sad, pathetic drunk suddenly a good thing?" Robert said loudly so that now Aiden was walking across the room towards them.

"What's this?" Aiden asked before pointing at Robert, "You got drunk?"

"Er why is that so hard to believe?" Robert asked defensively.

"'Cause you're Mr Professional aren't ya." Alicia said before giggling again.

Robert rolled his eyes before darting his eyes at Loui who was now silent, only he had really seem the effects of the heavy drinking and partying before.

"Well I'm alright now so there's no need to worry about me." Robert said sarcastically smiling.

"Don't know about Liam though." Aiden said before laughing, "Seriously don't know how he hangs onto this job."

Robert suddenly perked up as he heard his name being mentioned again and remembered that he had messaged him and go no reply.

"Er...where is he?" Robert asked nervously.

"He's not in yet." Alicia said before typing away at her laptop, "I think Jensen's sent him some place."

Robert gulped hard and nodded his head before turning on his laptop.

The information came in thick and fast as he clicked on the file labelled **'AARON LIVESY'.**

Age: 24. **Shit** , the age confirmed.

Originally from Yorkshire, Emmerdale. 'Archer' hadn't told him exactly where he was from but it seemed plausible.

Member of The Dingle family, known for their troubles with the police in the past. _'I've got more cousins that I can count.'_  

Robert's heart was beating fast but then suddenly stopped as he saw Jensen approach him fast.

"Sugden." Jensen said, his voice harsh and quick.

The others turned round and looked at Robert who was now ripping his eyes away from the screen.

"Sir." Robert said just as harshly making the others try their hardest to keep a straight face.

  
"I hope you're in a better mood this morning." Jensen said looking at Robert and referring to the angry way he had left his office on Friday afternoon.

  
Robert blinked quickly staring at Jensen intensely,  I believe I am, I'd be in an even better mood though if I had your support and respect."

  
Alicia stared wide eyed at Aiden before turning to Loui who looked just as shocked as she did. No one ever stood up to Jensen let alone teachers pet Robert. "Sir." Robert said swiftly trying to wind Jensen up.

  
Jensen smirked softly before shaking his head, obviously not taking the bait.

  
"Very well." He said before nodding his head and walking towards his own private office to more than likely vent to himself about Robert.

The door to his office slammed and Robert suddenly let out a sigh of relief, causing the others to stare at him in wonder.  
"Well fuck me Suggers." Aiden said in disbelief.

Suddenly Matty appeared from behind his laptop and let out a laugh, "Didn't think you hade it in ya."

"I did, Rob just needs to be pushed far enough eh?" Loui said knowing how his friend behaved when he was under pressure or felt backed in a corner.

Ten minutes went by and Robert had had enough of Alicia and Aiden laughing over how funny the whole conversation seemed as they watched on. Robert sighed as he poured himself another coffee, his mind wasn't on the job now that he practically knew he had been housing a fugitive for the weekend.

"You alright?" Loui asked as he watched Robert struggle to put the coffee maker back.

"Yeah...I'm fine." Robert said quickly.

"You looked stressed out...it's only Monday morning." Loui said before frowning.

"I am." Robert said thinking about the case and then the man who was sleeping on his sofa.

"Go on." Loui said urging for Robert to open up.

Robert bit down on his lip hard he couldn't tell Loui, "It's nothing...don't worry." He said before gulping and turning away.

Loui sighed, "Don't block me out like last time-" he whispered so the others couldn't hear.

Robert shook his head before turning back round sharply, knowing exactly what Loui was referring to, "That was completely different, this dosent even come close." He spat.

Loui nodded his head, "But there is something...?" He stated softly.

Robert sighed hard, "I...I've done...I think I've done something stupid..." 

Loui chewed his gum, "Like that?"

Robert hesitated before sighing again, he couldn't tell Loui. The sound of Liam's laughter filled the office as he pranced in holding a envelope and saving Robert from himself.

"Look what I've got here." Liam said walking towards Robert and laughing.

Loui rolled his eyes in frustration, "What?" He snapped.

"Jensen sent me up to Yorkshire last night..."

Robert frowned, "For?"

"For...more information about Livesy."

Robert gulped hard and Loui sensed his irritation.

"Really?" Loui asked as he watched Robert look towards the floor.

"Yeah just got back now." Liam said before yawning.

Aiden suddenly walked over with Grace, "Ohhh we thought you'd be in a ditch somewhere considering your party mood on Friday."

"Not any worse than Sugden over here." Liam said pointing towards Robert.

Robert felt himself blush as he remembered his absolutely drunk and messy state just before he had knock down his house guest. He was babbling about shit to Liam wasn't he.

"Yeah at least I didn't literally chuck myself at some bloke." Liam said and suddenly Robert's eyed widened, _he remembered that?_

"What's this?" Aiden said quickly.

Robert felt his face grow redder and redder, "It...it -"

"Details!" Grace said giggling and clapping her hands together.

"It wasn't what you think, I...er I thought it was Lee." Robert said staring at Liam  "But he moved too quickly and I was too drunk to realise so..." He said quickly.

"Oh hardly romantic then eh." Loui said before pulling a face.

Robert shook his head, "Yeah nothing more than an awkward apology..." he lied, if only it had been just that.

Robert coughed quickly before looking down at the envelope in Liam's hand. It was teasing him as the itch to finalise his thoughts became overwhelming. _Was it Aaron sleeping on his sofa?_

"What did you find then?" Robert shouted over the laughter of his friends causing them to stop abruptly and frown at Robert. He had obviously interrupted a joke of someone run he wasn't listening at all. Robert looked over at Loui who seemed concerned again and so decided to rephrase the question "I mean...well was it waste of time then or...?"

Liam chewed on his gum, "Er...well yes and no."

Well what does that even mean? Robert thought growing more and more impatient.

"Turns out Livesy's mum _did_ have some more recent pictures to share."

Robert gulped hard.

"Result." Aiden said rubbing his hands together, "He looked 'bout ten in the other pic."

Liam turned towards Robert who was looking towards the floor and avoiding the others eye contact.

"Great news right Rob?"

Robert yanked his head up and smiled softly trying to fight his nervousness, "Yeah...yeah well done."

"The mum looked proper shifty though when I asked her again." Liam said resting his head back and sighing.

"You thinking she might know summat?" Grace said before racing to her desk to look up her name.

The others soon followed her with Liam leaving the envelope on the desk in front of Robert, the need to open it began to make Robert feel dizzy.

"Chas Dingle." Grace said proudly as she bought her details up for the others to see.

Soon the group were chattering away noisily, making the silence in Robert's mind seem more bearable. He couldn't stop thinking, stop wondering until it was too much to bear and Robert found himself gripping the envelope hard and racing to the toliets, he needed to be alone.

 

* * *

 

Robert was almost certain that it was Aaron, almost. A part of him felt like he was in some sort of weird detective dream mirroring his own reality. The whole idea was too ludicrous to even entertain, seriously what were the chances. But it was a niggling thought, too scary to ignore and soon Robert found his shaking hands trembling over the envelope and revealing its content.

Robert's eyes fell on the picture and then everything changed, it was as if Robert realised that his life would never be the same again.

The first thing he noticed was his eyes blue and dazzling, then his complexion soft and warm, then his clothes caught Robert's eyes black and baggy.

It was Aaron.

It was 'Archer'.

The person staring back at him, smiling and looking happier than the last picture he had seen had confirmed it all. Confirmed that Robert had not only harboured a fugitive for the last three nights, but had also delved into his life with him - uncovering parts of him that only a few people had seen in his life. Betrayal seeped through him messily as he realised that his earlier thoughts of forgiveness and calm had been naive and stupid.

How _could_ he justify this?

Robert shook his head as he remembered the fact that he had made Aaron aware of his position in society and although Aaron probably never knew he was so involved in the case, he still stayed.

_Or did he know?_

_Was he laughing at Robert the whole time?_

_Was he hidden his pleasure as he saw Robert tend and care for him, take pity on his situation and try to make things better for him?_

He couldn't handle the questions racing through his mind and quickly decided that he had to tackle the situation head on. A part of him told him to leave it. To forget and focus his attention on finding him again but then he realised that the possibility of Aaron still sleeping soundly on his sofa was high and he couldn't possibly let it lie. Not when he still had time to...to confront him somehow. _He deserved answers didn't he?_

Robert took a few more minutes in the toilets, composing himself as he finally ripped his eyes away from the picture in front of him. It looked pretty recent and Aaron looked exactly the same except from his slight stubble that had now grown into a beard that aged him somewhat. He was smiling softly and he seemed almost at ease as he stood in front of a country side setting that must have been his home, emmerdale. Suddenly Robert recalled the advise he had given Aaron the night before, the advice to _'smile more'_ , he scoffed his head in irration.

Robert breathed in and picked up the image before shaking his head and sliding it back into the envelope, sealing it shut and walking back into the office to see the others. They hadn't even noticed him leaving and Robert let out a sigh of relief, not even Loui seemed interested in finding out what was wrong with his best friend.

"So I'm going to talk to Will's family" Grace said jotting down more ideas on her notepad. "Who's coming?" she continued.

Liam turned to Aiden, "I'm shattered from all that travelling." He said waving his arms out.

"You went to Yorkshire, not Kenya." Aiden said shaking his head and laughing.

"Yeah well..." Liam said before turning to Robert who was sill wrapped up in his thoughts to even notice the squabbling taking place, nonetheless Liam sat upright as he saw Robert.

"Robert are you hearing this?" Aiden said sharply.

Robert turned towards Aiden and rolled his eyes, "Yeah I am. And I'm not seeing any progress." He said bluntly before turning to Grace. "Grace you go with Loui and ask some neighbours about him too -"

"Good shout, family's have sorta biased views don't they." Liam said cutting Robert off.

Robert frowned, "Who asked for your opinion?" He said clearly sick of Liam in general.

"I'm just...just saying you know Chas said her son had a good heart and all that you know...she's hardly reliable is she?"  
Good heart. That's what Robert had thought.

"So that's why you said your trip wasn't completely successful?" Loui said before biting down on his lip and smiling clearly trying to get him into trouble.

"Well..." Liam said before hesitating and slapping Loui playfully, "Oh Robert, sorry I didn't give you the photos on the weekend I was sorta busy trying to get there." Liam said as he watched Robert loose interest.

Robert nodded his head before turning away trying to hide his embarrassment, now he looked like a prat in front of everyone. That sort of bloke who did work on the weekends.

"Right then I'll call you when we get there Sugden." Loui shouted out as he walked off with Grace.

Robert tapped away at his desk debating whether or not to go home and see if Aaron was still there.

_He couldn't could he? How couldn't he?_

"You know what I found out the other day." Liam said chatting away as he played with his pen.

Matty sighed hard before looking over at him, "What?" He said before returning to his computer.

"Me mum's cousin was actually her brother," Liam said quickly,"She hadn't known for years."

Matty chewed his gum, "Well as fascinating as that it Liam-" 

"Imagine that. Someone lying to you for that long." Liam said before rolling his head back.

Robert shifted slightly thinking back to Aaron. He couldn't help it.

"Crazy." Matty said dryly.

"Like someone just being able to lie and lie and lie day after day about something...anything...I don't know how people actually manage to do it." Liam said firmly trying to prove his point.

Robert felt himself get more and more filled with anger and irritation and of course Liam was to blame. He was his friend and he was a right laugh when the moment was right and his crazy distracting ways were justified but most of the time he was nuisance and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Will you just get back to your flaming work!" Robert shouted loudly suddenly letting all his anger out.

Liam stared open eyed at Robert while Matty suddenly dived his eyes down to his laptop and started typing furiously.

"S-sorry." Liam whispered before picking himself up from the back of his chair.

Robert went to speak, to apologise but in all honesty Liam deserved his harshness. He had to bring up the topic of lying, he had to remind him of Aaron didn't he. Typical.

It was overwhelming him, the need to rush back to the flat and see him. His anger was still there but he still needed answers and a part of him wanted to say that he was in a rational state of mind, maybe even open to hearing what he had to say for himself.

Robert suddenly jolted up as if his body told him he had to leave, "I...er I'll be back in about an hour."

Matty bit his lip, "Right." He said nodding his head and not daring to question him.

Liam frowned softly, "What...where you going?"

Robert shoved his coat on and walked towards the office doors, "Out." He said bluntly.

Liam rolled his eyes and attempted to retaliate but Robert was already gone, already out the door and already trying to seek out answers from Livesy.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron sighed hard, he couldn't go back to sleep now. As he stared round the flat he suddenly felt a sense of loneliness hit him hard, _where was Robert?_ Then he remembered. Robert was at work, with the police, possibly trying to crack his case.

Aaron wondered if Robert had figured it out yet, if the dots had finally connected and the reality was a lot bleaker than he thought. Aaron pulled himself up from the sofa and rubbed his hand over his face trying to wake up, then he had a shower cold and inviting, better than the hotness of the sofa that was filled with duvets and quilts Robert had kindly collected from his cupboard.

Aaron contemplated having breakfast, sitting at the table alone and eating Robert's food but then something caught his eye once more. A shiny frame with a certificate inside, next to it a pile of newspaper cut outs with Robert's name plastered over it. Aaron frowned as he saw it, but then as he looked closer he could see that they all applied to the cases Robert had probably cracked.

  
_**Murders.** _

_**  
Rapes.** _

_**  
Kidnaps.** _

 

_'Robert Sugden, 29 has been awarded a special certificate of recognition by the metropolitan police force for his outstanding work in the Bentley murder case - solved, with the help of police, in a matter of weeks consequently stopping the murders of three more teenage girls planned by the culprit.'_

Aaron smiled softly feeling a level of pride that he hadn't felt before, but then he frowned realising that Robert was a big deal. He must have been to be this well known in papers up and down the country.

Then Aaron looked towards the bookshelf hidden in the corner of the flat, a sense of wonder taking over. The books all seemed to have something to do with criminology and only a few seemed to be actual read properly. The must worn book seemed to involve hit and run cases and Aaron couldn't help but wonder why. It was only after backing away did he see his name written on a small notebook on the left hand side of the shelf. He couldn't ignore and before he knew it, he was racing through the papers.

 

 _New case Aaron Livesy._  
Arson, murder.  
Grace, Aiden, Liam and Loui.  
Meeting @ 4 to discuss progress.  
Report back to Jensen by 6.

 

The writing was messy and quick but Aaron could still see it. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Robert was working on his case?_

_This great investigator Robert was working on his case and had failed to realise his fugitive had been living right under his noes for the past three nights?_

_How did he not realise?_

Aaron bit his lip and allowed himself to think that Robert was too distracted to think about work at all, as if he had somehow managed to block it out entirely.

Aaron shook his head before picking up his bag and sliding his shoes on. There was no way he could stay a minute longer, Robert knew him, Robert could easily tell his boss about his whereabouts - _what did he owe him?_

Suddenly Aaron's eyes darted towards the door as he saw it slowly unlock. His heart stopped as he saw Robert walk through the door and stare at him intensely. Two thoughts circled his head as he looked at Robert standing by the door with his hair out do his place and his complexion red and flushed.

 

1\. **fuck** , _what am I supposed to do?_  
2\. **fuck** , _he doesn't look too shabby in a suit._

 

Robert cleared his throat, "I think you've got some explaining to do." He said staring directly at Aaron and watching him fidget and look towards the floor, "Don't you...Aaron?"

Aaron yanked his head up in suprise, he knew and now things would only get worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo the cliffhanger! Stay tuned! Xx


	9. I need to know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron tries to explain but it falls on death ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all appoglises for the lack of updates since last week, I had exams and focused my attention on them. But Easter break starts tomorrow so hopefully my updates will be more regular for you all. X

Aaron was shaking like a leaf and Robert could see it but he didn't care. He didn't want to look at Aaron and see the pity he still secretly felt for him. He wanted to get answers, to find out the truth and then...well he didn't know what would happen next but that was important at the moment in time.

"Well?" Robert said harshly, once again ignoring the panic in Aaron's face.

**Shit. It was all over.**

"I can explain..." Aaron said weakly.

Robert scoffed, "Explain, explain what? Why you lied and cheated your way into my home, making a fool out of me in the process!" He said moving towards Aaron and feeling overcome with passion and rage.

Aaron stepped back, "I didn't want to-"

"To what?" Robert snapped.

"Lie..." Aaron said defeated by the situation and deciding to let his head roll back lazily against the wall.

Robert sighed hard wanting desperately to hate the man in front of him but failing miserably.

"But you did. You let me think that you were the victim, I took pity on you."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Aaron said his bottom lip shaking making him look even more weak.

"I don't care." Robert snapped harshly, lying through his teeth. He did care, a lot.

"I didn't want to drag you into this." Aaron sighed.

"You stayed, even after you knew what I did for a living!" Robert said suddenly not buying Aaron's apology.

"I know." Aaron mumbled.

"I bet you were having a proper good laugh about it all, make you feel good that you I...that you had the upper hand or summat?" Robert said making himself get even angrier.

Aaron shook his head realising that Robert thought wear he feared - that Aaron had been laughing behind his back all that time.

"Robert I wouldn't ever...it wasn't like that...I'm sorry -" Aaron whispered.

"If you were sorry you would have bolted out the door the minute I left. I thought you would, and when you didn't I couldn't help but think that what I thought...it was just all in my head -"

"What you thought?" Aaron said frowning, "What did you think Robert?"

Robert gulped, "I thought you might have been him...Aaron."

Aaron nodded, "But you didn't do anything about it do you?" He said blankly.

"I wasn't sure." Robert whispered, "Not until I came into work and saw your picture, a recent one."

Aaron shifted slightly.

"You better tell me everything." Robert suddenly said harshening his tone, "I mean it."

Aaron had had enough of doing what people said and he felt a surge of defiance charge through him. He didn't need to explain himself to anyone, let alone Robert.

"No." Aaron said slowly.

"No?" Robert said before frowning.

Aaron clutched his bag tighter and felt the pressure in his hand, "You heard me...no." He said walking towards Robert and watching as he stared back in disbelief, "I don't have to explain myself to you." He said with disgust in his voice.

Robert suddenly walked towards the door in order to block Aaron's way.

"You think I'm just gonna let my suspect just walk out?" Robert spat as he stared at Aaron.

'My Suspect' Aaron felt the anger boil inside him.

"I'm not your property, you don't have any right to me and if you dare try and call me your suspect again I'm gonna loose it big time!" Aaron shouted at Robert before trying to push his arm away and failing. Aaron's weak and fragile health was clearly no match to Robert's good fit health. But he could still pack a good punch.

Robert bit his lip hopelessly trying to find the right words to say, "I'm sure your mum will want to know where you are." He said sadistically as if he craved the feel of Aaron's punch.

Aaron breathed in and out slowly. **Not his mum.**

"Chas right?" Robert whispered.

Aaron saw red, grabbing Robert's blazer and shoving him against the wall. Their faces were inches apart and Aaron was overwhelmed with the need to punch Robert right in the face, hard.

He couldn't handle Robert knowing anything about his family, _how dare he?_

He couldn't deny the odd feeling though as he held onto him, as if a part of him wanted to launch into a desperately needed hug of reassurance. It made him feel a wave of uncertainty, a feeling he was oh to be familiar with.

Robert wanted to kick himself, why the fuck had he got so personal? He saw the intensity in Aaron's eyes, saw the colour still so blue and dazzling. He could hear his breathing quick and erratic much like him. And then he felt it slow down as if just staring into Robert's eyes had calmed him down again.

 _Wow did I really have that effect on someone?_ Robert thought.

Then he felt Aaron's heavy hands push off of him abruptly, moving off his chest and down onto the floor to pick up his bag once more. The weight leaving him had almost left him wounded somehow. He saw the quick movement and heard the shallow breath and then heard the sound of the door.

Then he was gone, disappearing in front of his very eyes as Robert tried to recover from the feelings he experienced as they shared their close minute together.

"Aaron, Aaron!" Robert shouted suddenly as he felt the panic and fear race through him.

  
**_Where was he going?_ **

**_  
What would he do?_ **

**_  
Would he be safe?_ **

 

Robert darted towards the window and saw the mess of a man who had just left his flat, hunched over again with his hoddie firmly covering his head as he darted through the street. He ripped his eyes away, not wanting to see him disappear into the crowd as if he was just another passerby.

A minute passed, and then two and then three and Robert still found himself standing with his back against the window not being able to explain the empty feeling in his chest.

Robert had no idea what to do as he stood still in his flat still feeling Aaron's presence surrounding him. The cushions and quilts were still stretched out on the sofa and a glass of water Aaron had drunk from was still resting on the side. Although he was long gone Robert was still reminded.

He had to take a minute or two or three, to really work out what had happened. One of the biggest cases of his life had just fell apart in front of his eyes as he simply let Aaron walk away. Walk away from any type of justice or punishment. Robert shook his head as the anger raced through him again, Aaron was free to run now wasn't he. Robert bit down on his lip a small part of him trying to justify telling the others about it all, but how could he? Surely they would question him and his professional thinking? God he had done it many times as he spent more and more time with Aaron.

Robert sighed hard deciding to go back to work and simply move on. His anger was still there and it somehow seemed to fuel Robert further, he had to make progress with the case one way or another.

"Back then are we." Matty said as he watched Robert walk back through the office half an hour later.

"Er yeah." Robert said before walking to his desk and switching on his laptop, "Anything?" He said referring to the development of the case.

Matty shook his head slowly and then returned to his laptop. Robert shook his own head in frustration, how could he try to forget about Aaron when he was the essence of his case. But there was this Will. Maybe he could focus his attention on him and why exactly he ended up dead.

Suddenly Grace and Loui arrived back with smiles on their faces. Smug smiles that made Robert feel better.

"Well..." Robert said eagerly wanting some sort of good news.

"We spoke to Will's parents and they gave us a lot to go by." Loui said before offloading his files onto the desk in front of him.

"Yes!" Matty said loudly causing the others to stare at him. Matty was quiet you see.

Grace smiled softly, "At first his mum was totally trying to paint this good boy image of her darling boy but me and Loui could see through her lying." She said excitedly.

"But then we started talking about his childhood and it turns out that he was a bit of a bad boy, getting into fights and skipping school." Loui said swiftly.

"His dad finally told us about a few boys that he had been involved with the -" Grace said before chewing on her lip.

"Wrong crowd?" Aiden said softly.

Loui nodded his head, "Carried on that way until a few years ago when he got a decent job and managed to turn things around for himself." He said before referring to his notes.

"Hence why his employee seemed so shocked to hear about him dying." Matty chirped in remembering the vague information he had gathered from the other week. 

Robert nodded his head slowly thankful for this distraction.

"So we're thinking that maybe Aaron could be one of these old mates that came back on the scene." Aiden stated.

Robert gulped hard, he couldn't escape it could he?

Grace bit her lip before shaking her head, "Well we asked them about Livesy and they seemed to have no clue, anyway they don't really live close enough to be thick as thieves."

Robert sighed softly suddenly thankful for their lack of information on Aaron, "So err...did you get any names then?" he asked.

Loui nodded before looking down at his notepad and reading off the names, "Tommy, Ste..." he said before watching the others write the names down.

"Anymore?" Matty asked softly.

"Yeah the Jones brothers." Grace said before fidgeting and looking down at her notes.

"Jezz they sound like they're apart of the blooming mafia." Matty said sheepishly.

"Harley and Harry Jones." Loui said quickly reading off of the paper and then pulling a face.

"Did they say much about them?" Robert said thinking about who his parents remembered the boys.

Loui bit down on his lip, "They didn't have to really, I mean from the mum's face...we knew that they obviously still made her fidget and get nervous. But then the dad piped in and we could you know see his anger."

Robert nodded slowly as the pieces started to fall into place, "Will left them after a while." He said sharply causing the others to give him a confused look. "Will. When he was younger before he turned his life around he must have left them abruptly, maybe during something dodgy which is why the mum's scared." He continued her it was still not enough for the others.

"He skipped a job or summat and they go marching round his, his mum sees and that's why she got all nervous when mentioning them." Robert said, his voice slightly higher than before.

The others all suddenly nodded and began spinning round on their chairs to investigate. Robert sighed hard, things were coming together now and Robert could finally try and be able to do his job right, without Aaron being at the forefront of his mind.

 

* * *

 

Aaron had slowed down his pace as he began to feel himself develop a stitch. He had been walking for hours now and the weight of his legs were dragging across the street making him feel sick. He couldn't stop replaying the way Robert had looked at him, he seemed so angry, so disappointed. It was odd really, how much Aaron seemed to care about what Robert thought.

Years had taught Aaron to do the opposite, to distance himself and disregard people's feeling because at the end of the day people got her regardless of how much he tried to prevent it. **_This was a prime example wasn't it_**?

A part of Aaron regretted the way Robert had found out, imagining his face as he suddenly realised the surprising truth made him feel sad and guilty. He didn't deserve that.

"I bet you were having a proper good laugh about it all, make you feel good that you I...that you had the upper hand or summat?"

 **God.** Aaron felt awful, knowing that Robert would remember him as a liar. Aaron shook his head not wanting to dwell on it anymore, yes it was unfortunate but so was a lot of other things. It's just the way it was.

Aaron stopped suddenly as he stared straight ahead to a small cafe, outside on the circular table was a small coffee cup, left behind by someone on their travels. Aaron's stomach grumbled as he approached it, he slipped down into the seat and suddenly felt his heart melt as he touched the cup. Still warm. Aaron clutched at the cup and peered inside to see nearly half still left.

Stupid Londoners.

Aaron let out a small smile, 'stupid Londoners', it was something that his mum would have said. His mum. Chas. The pain of hearing Robert use her name against him still made him feel sick inside. Her thought about her all the time, he desperately hoped that some day he could see her again properly, without being anywhere near a jail.

Aaron gripped the cup harder and sipped at its content for hours on end, clutching it for dear life as he realised that as long as he had it, he could comfortably rest on the establishments outdoor chairs.

Night kicked in and it was long before he was kindly shoved away by the owners he told him they had to shut the shop up. Disappointed and alone Aaron found himself trailing the streets of London and battling the bitter cold air. Aaron fought hard not to be tempted by the dodgy men given him suggestive looks.

He had never, that was never what he would do even when he was desperate. Walking past yet another older man Aaron began to wonder what it would be like if he did go home with someone, a stranger and slept with them for money.

**_He would end up having money, warmth and a nice pair of sheets right?_ **

The deal seemed sweet as Aaron thought about it, until he suddenly felt dirty and wrong - using and being used was not something that he wanted.

His thoughts turned to Robert again as he nestled against a small alleyway. It was dark now, nearly pitch black and he couldn't help but think about him. Yet every time he did he felt the unwavering feeling of guilt and sadness. It was horrible, to think that the help of a nice man was so tarnished because of his own past.

He hated how the man may have been effected by it all, if he somehow would always be wary of his kindness due to the experience he had with a certain damaged fugitive.

The awful feeling continued as he began to close his eyes and drift off into a sleep he needed more than anything, well nearly more than anything.


	10. Progression.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to move on in the case, which causes Robert to think about how exactly Aaron was involved and what he was running from.

Robert raced in to work, he was late. Very late.

It was unlike him and once again Robert found himself completely confused by his own behaviour. The night before he had tossed and turned in bed, staying up all night as he tried to focus his attention on the more boring jobs of filing away cases and basically doing the jobs that Lilly had always carried out for him.

Of course he had tried to also stop thinking about the case, but that meant trying to stop thinking about work.

Which was sorta hard considering he was actually doing work.

By the time he had actually gotten to bed, it was late. Very late. And by the time he had actually got back he was running behind by nearly an hour. He had overslept, by a long shot.

 _What the fuck Sugden?_ he had thought as he raced into the shower. His mind was all over the place, it had been since he found out about Aaron. His thoughts were elsewhere and as much as he tried to deny it, there was really no use. Robert had to admit that he felt odd without Aaron, without knowing the reasons behind his actions and simply having the knowledge that a fugitive capable of arson and murder was on the run and had taken advantage of his good nature.

Robert sped walked to his desk and for a few seconds wondered if anyone would even notice that he was an hour late for work. Of course someone did and of course it just had to be Liam.

"Well well well...I thought I was the flake." Liam said playfully pulling a surprised face. Robert quickly turned towards him and scowled in his direction.

"Leave him alone." Grace sighed as she watched Robert fidget. Robert smiled at her softly grateful for her help with nosy Liam.

"If that was me...I would be -" Liam continued obviously not caring about Grace's warning.

"No one cares Liam. No one." Loui said quickly cutting Liam off and looking towards Robert. He could tell something was wrong, Robert had never been late. Not ever.

Robert tried to look busy as he saw Loui walking towards him. He didn't want to lie but he wasn't in the mood to tell Loui about how messed up he was feeling.

"Alright?" Loui said as he reached Robert's desk and asked him his he felt.

Robert nodded before patting his hair down and trying to make himself look more presentable.

"Yeah...why wouldn't I be?" Robert said proudly.

"Well because...you're never late. Has something happened?" Loui asked softly.

Robert gulped, "Shit Loui can't I just be late. Does there need to be some deep reason?"

"Is it Victoria? Andy?" Loui asked still determined to get to the bottom of it. Robert shook his head slowly, "Well it's something...it's definitely something 'cos you've been acting a bit -"

"It's just the case...it's bringing me down a bit I suppose." Robert said honestly.

Loui patted his back softly and mumbled a word of encouragement that Robert didn't hear. Robert raised his head and frowned as he looked ahead and saw Max in Jensen's office with a large smile on his face. He was grinning and Jensen seemed to look happy too. Robert sat confused for a few minutes as he tried to work out why exactly Jensen (who had never really given Max the time of day) would want to have a word with him in his office.

The next minute he knew they were shaking hands and then it suddenly dawned on him.

No way.

Max emerged from the office and suddenly Jensen caught sight of Robert and waved at him gesturing for him to come into the office. Robert cleared his throat before walking past a smug looking Max, he was practically grinning.

"Robert." Jensen said seriously as Robert approached his office. Robert nodded his head before shutting the door and sitting opposite his boss.

"Everything okay?" Robert asked trying to hide the panic in his voice.

"You were late today..." Jensen stated. Robert let out a small groan "Max said you were nearly two hours late." He continued.

The little weasel.

"He's exaggerating sir." Robert said quickly.

"Is he now?" Jensen said before leaning against his chair and sighing "So you weren't late then?"

Robert bit his lip, "Well I was but -"

"Listen to me Sugden, I know you won't be happy about this..." Jensen said before clearing his throat, "But I've had to take some measures." He continued.

Robert bit his lip.

**_Not Max. Not Max. Not Max._ **

"Which is why Max is coming onto the case..." Jensen said slowly making sure Robert realised what he was saying.

Robert wasn't completely surprised. He knew deep down but shit he thought that Jensen had a bit more faith and respect in his work.

"I can't believe this." Robert said shaking his head.

"Listen to me...listen alright...don't take this as an insult of any kind -" Jensen sighed.

"How can I not? You're letting other people in on the case, because you think I came handle a little fugitive case." Robert shouted.

"Calm down Sugden, it's only Max." Jensen stated, "Hardly getting Colombo in on it." He chuckled trying to add a sense of humour to the situation and failing.

"Max, who has been out to get me for years." Robert exclaimed.

Jensen sighed hard, "I'm trying to help you. You've not been yourself recently and Max is more than willing to help."

Robert scoffed. More like hinder.

"Now you can either get over your silly feud with Max...or I'll be forced to reconsider your position on the case." Jensen said sternly.

A part of Robert wanted to act up even more and kick up a fuss just so that Jensen would take him off the case. He didn't want to be on it anymore, it only reminded him of Aaron. Yet his pride for in the way and he couldn't give up, how bad would that look if he was pulled out?

Robert nodded slowly, "Guess I'm gonna have to get over it then." He said before rolling his eyes and leaving the office.

 

* * *

 Of course Max was already amongst the others and as they saw Robert enter they all seemed to dart their eyes anywhere they could.

"Robert...you're back." Max smiled as he greeted Robert.

Aiden and Grace turned towards each other and pulled a face.

"We didn't want to start without you." Max said as Robert stared at him intensely.

Robert frowned before looking at Liam and Loui who were both trying not to look in Robert's direction.

"Start what?" Robert snapped.

"The meeting...well not a meeting more like an over view of what you lot have done so far." Max said smiling again and riling Robert up even further.

Robert walked towards his bag, silently pulling out a small folder, "Here, you don't need us to all be here." He said before chucking the file at Max. 

"I hope this isn't a problem Robert, I mean you seem a bit....tense." Max said sharply.

Robert felt his jaw twitch,  Why would it be?" he replied bluntly.

Max looked towards the others and then back to Robert before pulling a face, "Oh I don't know...I mean you are the best investigator here...well according to the media." The others all looked towards the floor, "And then you need me to help you." He continued before smiling.

Robert shook his head, "You're just another bloke on the case, hardly anything special." He said quickly.

"It's the fact that you need another bloke on the case which is the funny bit." Max said moving closer towards Robert and almost willing Robert to punch him hard.

Robert moved closer inches away from letting his anger and frustration out. Grace quickly stood up and tried to stop the tension by mentioning the fact that she had found out more information about the case.

Robert turned sharply towards her and softened as he saw that she was smiling at him, "Er...sorry what have you found?"

Max tried to act interested for a few seconds but then slowly walked away picking up the folder and sitting at his desk, obviously angry that Robert wasn't in the mood to fight anymore.

"Well me and Aiden have looked up the other boys that Will's parents mentioned Thomas and Ste. They both haven't really been involved in the law at all since they were kids, about nineteen or something." Grace said turning towards Aiden and smiling.

"Er...Thomas is now working at some B and B in Hackney." Aiden said chirping up.

"Yeah and...Ste lives nearby here, unemployed for a few years but recently got a job." Grace said reading some a file in front of him.

"That's great, right let's go see 'em." Liam said rubbing his hands together.

Robert frowned in his direction, "Not you." He snapped in Liam's direction, "You stay here, fill in Max about anything that I've missed in the report." He continued calmly before getting his coat. He needed to leave the confines of the office, it was suffocating him.

"Me and Grace will go see Ste and Loui and Aiden you two go see Thomas. We'll meet back here and discuss what we have so far." Robert said before turning to Grace and watching her collect her things. He liked how organ sided she was, he needed order in his life - especially now.

 

* * *

It was raining when they got outside, not completely chucking it down but enough to make Robert squint slightly as he watched Grace haul over a small taxi.

"Do we have an address?" Robert said slowly.

Grace nodded before climbing into the taxi and moving over so that Robert could sit next to her.

"Chester Lane please." Grace said sweetly to the driver before resting back in her seat. Robert frowned before looking over at her, "Is that where he lives?"

"It's where he works...he's a builder...working on a big job there apparently."

Robert nodded his head before staring out the window to the bleak view of London and a rainy day. Suddenly his heart began to beat like mad, his fingers trembled as he throat became dry. He leaned in closer to the window and caught his breath as he saw him.

Aaron.

Hunched over and resting in a doorway as he watched the rain come down. He looked so alone. Robert couldn't help but stare, Aaron needed his help. He looked pale and ill, wearing the same clothes as he had when he was staying with Robert. His bag was gone, and Robert couldn't help but wonder if it was snatched in the night by some lads who took advantage of his weak state. A part of him wondered whether or not he should have told Grace, turned to her and saw if she even recognised him at all - was it just all in his head? He needed someone else to see him. To confirm that Aaron was there and he was alive.

The car reeved and turned right pulling Aaron away from Robert's view, he nearly had tears in his eyes and he suddenly had to cough hard to hold back his emotions. He hadn't been angry as he saw him, not annoyed or frustrated by his presence, just simply saddened and scared for him. _Why was he still in London? Didn't he understand how serious it all was?_ The net was closing in.

Robert and Grace climbed out of the taxi before walking over to a shabby building site and trying to seek out Ste. Suddenly a large man approached them.

"Can I help you?" The man shouted over the noise of the other workers.

"Yeah we're from the police, detective Sugden and Wallis, we're looking for Ste." Robert said quickly before looking around.

The large man nodded his head before turning around calling out for Ste. A younger smaller man looked round and gulped hard as he walked towards Robert and Grace.

"You Ste?" Grace asked causing Ste to nod his head.

"Yeah...I'm not in trouble am I?" Ste said nervously, "I ain't done nothing!"

Robert cleared his throat, "We just need to ask you a few questions." Robert said quickly.

"Questions?" Ste repeated  "About what?" 

"I'm sure you're aware of the Tenner case at the moment." Grace said softly.

Ste frowned before shrugging his shoulders, "Not really." 

"Well we could really do with your help with it." Grace said smiling, "We think that some of your friends were involved in the murder of William Tenner."

Ste turned pale before fidgeting, "I...I don't hang around with people like that anymore." He said shyly.

Robert and Grace turned towards each other.

"Do the names Harry and Harley Jones, ring a bell at all?" Robert asked watching as Ste gulped hard.

"Listen mate you need to tell us what you know...at the moment we have a case that is only pointing to some bloke who drove away from the scene and if you help us we can make sure that the right people get sent down for this" Robert said filled with passion as he thought about the fact that Aaron was still a suspect.

Ste sighed hard before whispering, "I used to hang around with them when I was younger, they...they had a it out for so many people-"

"So are you saying that there is a possibility that the boys held some sort of grudge towards William?" Grace said squinting.

"Well yeah...I suppose" Ste said quietly, "They didn't really tell me much though."

"I thought you were friends?" Robert asked.

"Well yeah but I was the pussy of the group, the one who always backed out of shit before it got too far."

"And do you know a Thomas Larson?" Grace said.

"Tommy? Yeah course he was me best mate!" Ste said smiling.

"Was he apart of your little gang too?" Robert asked.

"Yeah...he was the smart one."

"Smart one?"

"Yeah...he could knick from people whilst they were talking to him."

"How talented." Robert said dryly.

"Most of the serious stuff was down to the Harry and Harley though." Ste said quickly trying to show them that he wasn't to blame for what they did, whatever it was.

Robert nodded slowly, "So you're saying that you didn't know this...William then?" 

Ste bit his lip and fidgeted, "Well not really -"

"Sir I'll remind you that you must tell us the truth, it's only going to get worse if you don't."

"Fine then." Ste said before leaning closer, "The boys said they needed some of us to smash stuff about in some house, so I went along...Tommy was smarter than that so he asked questions but the boys just said they had a score to settle."

"Then what happened?" Robert asked.

"We got there and some couple were home, must of been his mum and dad...they saw me and Tommy, heard the boys shout are names so we legged it and they called the police on both of them."

"Who Harry and Harley?" Grace asked.

Ste nodded, "I didn't see them after that...but if what you're saying is...true then shit they must have really had it in for him...to actually kill him. I can't believe it." He said shocked by what he was saying.

"Thank you for cooperation, we will have to be in touch soon about what you have told us." Robert said before turning away with Grace.

Suddenly he thought about Aaron.

"Just one last thing, Aaron Livsey...have you ever heard of him? Did the boys ever mention him?" Robert asked quickly.

Ste frowned before shaking his head.

Robert smiled softly thankful that it seemed to be going Aaron's way. Then it hit him, the questions he wanted answering came flooding in. If Aaron was seemingly not even mentioned by family and friends as being a suspect, if the only link was his car that he could have easily not been driving - why was he running? Why wasn't he racing to the police office and protesting his innocence like he should be doing?

There was something else, something that was stopping him from doing so and Robert wanted to know what exactly. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Aaron in this chapter but it is all leading up to something big and it's important that the whole case and everyone involved is shown as they keep investigating.


	11. Conference calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tries to appear as non biased as possible during a press conference about the case.

As Robert and Grace arrived back to the office they were met with cameras flashing in their directions and microphones ramming into their backs by journalists. Robert frowned before walking through them - well trying to.

  
_**"Mr Sugden is it true that the Livsey fugitive is going stale?"** _

  
_**"Sir can you really solve this case?"** _

 

Robert felt himself boil with anger, thankfully Grace was on hand to calm himself down as they raced through the office of met Jensen. He had some sort of explaining to do.

"Jensen!" Robert called out causing him to appear quickly.

"Yeah." Jensen said before fixing his tie.

"What are all those journalists doing out there?" Robert asked before looking round at the others who all seemed to either fixing their hair or their ties.

"Press conference. Twenty minutes." Jensen said sharply.

Robert stared wide eyed, "What? Wait we already had one -"

"Yes and since then we have more information apart from Livesy, if we want to show the public we are capable we need to let them know about the other suspects. Harry and Harley." Jensen said before sighing and then clearing his throat.

Robert rolled his eyes as Jensen passed him a load of notes that referred to the conference.

"Of course you'll be leading the answers..." Jensen said before turning to Grace, "But I want you to help too."

From the side Aiden and Liam pulled a face that screamed,  _well that's not fair._

"Okay so compare notes and I'll let them get comfortable. Remember guys, positive. If we even try to show them a hint of doubt about what we're saying then it all goes to shit. Got that?" Jensen said causing the others to nod in unison.

Robert shook his head before turning to Liam and Aiden intent on learning about what they found out when talking to Tommy.

The information almost mirrored that of Ste's. Tommy confessed to being the most tactile one but then mentioned the fact that he left them after they started messing around with Will, he thought it was unfair and after they broke into his home he had had enough.

Robert was thankful that all the pieces seemed to be coming together and pointing directly towards the two brothers. The blame was shifting further and further away from Aaron.

"Both got criminal records for a string of crimes." Aiden pointed out as they continued talking about the brothers.

Robert nodded his head, "For what exactly."

"Theft, robbery, assault..." Aiden said looking at the computer and then pulling a face.

"Charming." Grace said before playing with her hair.

"What's the most recent one?" Robert frowned.

"Er...well they were bought into questioning regarding a stolen car...about two months ago..." Aiden said slowly as he read the computer screen.

"Hmm...and then just nothing?" Grace said understanding what Robert was thinking.

Jensen suddenly appeared again and called out for them all to follow him. Out of nowhere Max began to walk with them and try to make small talk with Liam who was too busy fixing his hair.

"Alright Robert?" Max said as he watched Robert mutter his frustration about Max being on the case. He wasn't needed.

"What are you even doing here?" Robert asked bluntly.

"Aren't I on the case too?" Max said before pulling a shocked expression.

Robert rolled his eyes as they pushed past the doors and entered the crowded room. The cameras were flashing in his direction again and he darted each flash not wanting to be seen by the media for the case he was so miserably failing.

Suddenly Grace came by his side and smiled softly in his direction, given him a sense of reassurance he so desperately needed.

 

* * *

Jensen started off the conference, clearing his throat as he read information off a sheet Robert had typed up.

"The murder of Will Tenner is a vital case for us at the moment and with your help and as well as the publics, we aim to ensure the correct culprit is located and imprisoned. We have already told you about Aaron Livesy, the male who was seen driving away in the vehicle, already convicted of arson and failure to attend court. The man has been on the run for the last two years. Since these discoveries new evidence has come to light. Evidence surrounding other suspects involved in the murder are the Harry and Harley brothers who both have history with the deceased. We are working tirelessly to track down these brothers who haven't been seen for the past month, as well as locating Aaron Livesy in order to question him." Jensen said slowly, watching as the journalists nodded along.

The questions at first were straight forward and simple. And Robert felt comfortable as he answered them, but then suddenly Aaron was all this certain journalist wanted to know about and the nervous twitchy Robert was back.

"Mr Sugden, how much involvement do you think Aaron Livesy has in the case?"

Robert gulped hard, "Well....well I...we know that he was somewhat involved..."

The others turned towards him sharply and Robert realised that he was defending Aaron a bit too much.

"So what exactly are you saying?" Another journalist called out making the rest of the journalists nod their heads in agreement.

Robert bit down on his lip and felt overwhelmed suddenly. Grace noticed.

"What we're trying to say is that...that other suspects are involved now and -"

"And Livesy isn't the only suspect anymore so we can't keep saying that." Robert interjected. _Shit, he didn't say that aloud did he?_ Jensen gave him a stern look before rubbing his forehead.

  
Everyone was silent for a minute whilst the journalists analysed the scene. Of course it was Grace who came to her senses and tried to gloss over Robert's outburst.

"We have...other suspects, stronger than Livesy with more reason and motive behind the killing."

"And so that means that suddenly Livesy goes from most wanted to -" a journalist called out before frowning.

Robert felt himself get worked up again, "Other leads have come forward. That is all." He said bluntly before turning his head towards Jensen and silently cursing him for organising this all.

"So Mr Sugden what involvement do you think Mr Livesy had?"

Robert blinked softly, what a good question. He actually honestly didn't know how Aaron had got himself dragged into a murder case. Even though he had only known Aaron for a matter of days, he just didn't see a person capable of murder. Not in the slightest. He thought about the question more and came to the conclusion that Aaron was an accessory to the murder, maybe.

"Well...currently I believe that Mr Livesy was the get away driver, in charge of lessening the evidence.…."

The others stared at him again this time even more confused. No one had come to that conclusion. It had never been discussed.

"So Mr Livesy is no longer a suspect?"

"Of course he is." Grace said before nodding her head and smiling.

The others continued to stare at Robert as the journalist did, prodding him to answer. The thought of Aaron watching the entire thing or reading about Robert slander his name made him feel overwhelmed with guilt. He didn't really understand why.

"We're just informing you that Livesy is not the only suspect." Robert said shortly before not being able to help himself and adding, "It may all just be a misunderstanding..."

Max couldn't help but snigger and he watched Jensen grow red. Why the fuck did I just say that? Robert thought to himself. Jensen had told him to not show any sign of doubt and now Robert had actually said the words 'it maybe be' followed by 'misunderstanding'. _**Shit.**_

The rest of the press conference was filled with Jensen reiterating the fact that Aaron was definitely a suspect needed for questioning as well as Harry and Harley Jones. It was awful and filled with awkward pauses where Robert was probably expected to chip in, his embarrassment prevented that though.

 "Well done there Sugden!" Max called out after it had finished and the group had centred around Robert's desk. Robert rolled his eyes, he didn't need this shit.

 The others all managed to bit their tongues about the way Robert had handled it, knowing that Jensen would give Robert enough of a hard time without their input. Grace has simply patted his back as he mumbled sorry, Aiden had sighed softly and Loui had given Robert a concerned look - once again. Oh and for Liam, well he didn't hardly notice anything had actually gone wrong.

"If I wanted your input I would have asked." Robert said bluntly.

Max chuckled, "What the hell has happened to you? You losing your touch?"

Robert yanked his head up, "You wish."

"Hmm...maybe you finally got something more than work on your mind..." Max said slowly. Robert blinked quickly well that wasn't strictly true was it. "You finally got a bird...or a fella whichever takes your fancy next right?" Robert was trying to control his breathing as he heard Max rile him up even further.

"Grow up Max." Grace sighed hard.

"No well I'm just saying what every one else is thinking...you screwed up. What were you trying to do...paint Livesy in a good light?"

Robert was panicking now, _shit was it that clear?_

"Fancy him or summat." Max said edging forward and sending Robert into overdrive. Grace sudden to tutted loudly and rolled her eyes as she watched Max begin to smile even wider, knowing her had provoked Robert badly.

Max made a small sound with his mouth teasing Robert before he walked away and shook his head.

_He didn't fancy Aaron. He didn't fancy Aaron. He didn't fancy Aaron. He didn't fancy Aaron._

_He didn't fancy Aaron?_

Robert bit down on his lip before charging towards Max and using all his weight to push him hard against the wall. Loui raced in front of him to try and stop Robert doing any damage but he was too weak. Max was staring at Robert wide eyed now and obviously shocked by Robert's force. The cockiness in his eyes had been replaced with a certain level of fear that made Robert smile sadistically.

"I've just about had enough of you." Robert said seething with rage as he enjoyed watching Max squirm.

Suddenly the sound of the door slamming and Jensen's bellowing voice cut the tense minute in half.

"Sugden out!" Jensen shouted causing Robert to loosen his grip and stare at his boss in disbelief.

"What?" Robert whispered as he saw the others stare in shock.

_Robert perfect professional Sugden asked to leave?_

"You heard me. Go home sort your head out and come back tomorrow with a better attitude." Jensen said bluntly before turning around on his feet and slamming his office door shut after he entered the room.

Robert wanted to fight back and argue with Jesnen further, just march through the doors and yell out all his frustration but he couldn't. He was overwhelmed with too many emotions. Robert closed his eyes as he suddenly began to see Aaron laying in the walk way of the shop again. Crouched. Alone. Ill. He felt sick as he imagined his he would have been feeling.

_Was he in pain? Was he not coping?_

Robert turned towards Loui who was still giving him *that* look, the one he was familiar with, the one he hated. Robert shrugged his shoulders, grabbed his bag and coat and raced out of the office ignoring Grace's calls and Max's smug smile.

Urgh.

* * *

 

**Aaron - 17:42**

 

Aaron coughed hard as he sat down on the wet pavement, damp from the pouring rain that had just stopped. Aaron's eyes began to fall but he tried to fight the urge. Not again. Aaron shuddered as he thought back what had happened early that day, how could he have been so stupid.

He had been ridiculously tired and low on energy, clutching at his bag tightly as he slouched down on the floor and tried to merely stay out of trouble. Aaron smiled as he thought about the money that he had discovered whilst looking through his bag, and then of course came the guilt. Questioning whenever Robert had given it to him despite the fact that he knew he was on the run from the police. If he did t made things even worse. He couldn't bare the thought of Robert still wanting to help him, he didn't deserve it and he couldn't believe how badly he had put Robert in such an impossible situation. He was selfish and cruel when he thought about it. He had stayed and took comfort in Robert offloading about his life, all the while knowing the fact that he could not do the same.

Aaron wanted to try and forget everything about Robert and so found himself slowly falling into a sleep. He was awoken once again though by the sound of loud speaking mixed with rushed movements that made him frown as he slowly opened his eyes. Aaron stared wide eyed as he saw two boys racing off clutching his bag. Shit. Aaron tried to move quickly, hauling himself and attempting to hurl himself towards the two boys who were slowly down their pace. He couldn't believe he had been mugged in broad daylight. Suddenly his breathing quickened and he became short of breath and felt sick, he had become light headed and felt faint as he fell back against the brick wall and tried to keep himself calm. He hadn't eaten all day, or the day before and the effects of the night before were obviously taking toll.

He had been wondering around after he eventually woke from his, it was almost four in the morning but this was London and there was always a bar around with drunk men trying their luck. He had ventured into one, the sleep making him ignore his better judgement entirely. A part of his same sales managed to convince him to keep his hoddie firmly above his head to avoid any suspicion. It had worked and soon Aaron found himself dancing and throwing his arms around wildly, the best of the music mixed with the pale purple lighting had relaxed him completely.

Without even having a drink to loosen himself up Aaron felt better, he should have left it like that. But then he saw a strange bloke outside the bar who was selling something that was apparently meant to relieve you of pain and stress. Aaron, already high on the thrill and excitement of the bar didn't hesitate to accept the substance and make work on getting it inside his body. After a few minutes he found his limbs relaxing as he struggled to walk straight, he felt drunk. His arms were waving around like before and he found himself smiling softly. He seemed to feel more relaxed though and any thoughts about Robert had escaped his mind completely.

Aaron shook his head as he wondered how exactly he had even managed to keep hold of his bag and find someone to rest. The effects were coming in thick and fast and he was suddenly aware that his heart rate was booming and building quicker and quicker, he was sweating and shivering as he held onto his jacket and rocked back and forth. He needed help. He couldn't possibly go to the hospital, if he lied and was spotted they would surely figure it all out. It was too risky.

Suddenly Aaron felt overwhelmed with emotions as he heard Robert's voice from across the road. It was coming from a small shop and he could just make out his voice loud and clear echoing from a small radio.

' _We're just informing you that Livesy is not the only suspect.'_

Aaron gulped hard, he wasn't hearing right was he?

_What had they found out? Did they know about Harry and Harley? How much did they know?_

Aaron still found himself in pain as he tried to strain his ears to hear me.

'Sugden also commented earlier on the fact that the man's involvement in the case 'may all just be a misunderstanding...'

Aaron felt his heart flutter as he realised that Robert was...sticking up for him? He wasn't trying to convince people that he was a craved killer so of course things were better than Aaron thought. Aaron tried to smile through his pain as he began to feel sick again. Aaron thought about calling Ezra and asking him again about been exactly he would be able to leave but something told him not to, the pain maybe. Suddenly Aaron thought about Robert, about going to him for help. The selfish part of his brain told him that it was what he needed to do, whatever he had taken had messed up his system and he needed someone to care for him like the way Robert had done.

 The fact that Robert didn't seem to even be angry about mentioning his name made Aaron feel slightly better.

 But then of course the fear crept in.

  
_What if he rejected him?_  
Told him to leave?  
Called the police?

He couldn't deal with that, not when he felt so bad. He couldn't have all the effort of walking back to his home and finding him not there or not even bothered or willing to help. Aaron bit his lip and decided against the idea. Until he suddenly he felt another large pang to the stomach followed by a string of swear swords as Aaron doubled over in pain and began sweating again.

He couldn't take the pain. Maybe Robert could help him. Aaron shook his head as he raised to his feet clutching his stomach and walked back towards the direction of Robert's flat.

He remembered the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned the next chapter is a lot of cosyness! <33


	12. I'm not me and you're not you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert takes in Aaron which leads to something unexpected...

Robert sighed hard. He couldn't believe how unprofessional he was being. This wasn't him. He felt as if he was having some sort of out of body experience as he thought about the way he had allowed Max to wind him up.

He thought back to the thing that triggered it _'fancy him or summat?'_  

He found himself blushing, his face red and his eyes wide as he shook his head and tried to block out what had happened next. In all his years, over all his cases he had never been asked to leave that way. With Max smirking at him and Loui looking all concerned again - how embarrassing.

Robert took the back way home avoiding the busy London traffic and down the rather dodgy path that got ridiculously dark as soon as the sun began to set. It was rainy now but Robert didn't care though, he was simply focused on getting home and trying to cope with the cringe worthy embarrassment that would haunt him all night.

Robert approached his flat, walking at a slower speed as he tried to reach for his keys. The rain was growing heavier and Robert shook his head as he realised his papers would probably be damaged if he opened his bag any wider. But of course they were buried deep inside his bag for some reason and he felt like an idiot as he tried to reach for them.

His eyes were on the path ahead and not focusing on the huddle by his door only a few feet away. Robert smirked as he reached down further and felt his hand grasp them, he pulled them out and walked closer to his door before suddenly tripping on something by his feet. Robert frowned as he tried to make sense of what had just happened, below him he saw the huddle shiver and groan and then move slightly. The rain was harder and Robert struggled to see who it was, then the huddle looked at him and Robert couldn't help but catch his breathe.

Two piercingly blue beautiful eyes stared back at him offering a rather pleading look.

"Aaron!" Robert shouted over the falling rain. He was a state, small and fragile and hiding at his feet as if he was an injured animal.

Robert knelt down and pulled Aaron to his feet, listening out to the small groans that escaped Aaron every now and then.  
"Please...please help me." Aaron whispered as he looked into Roberts eyes.

Robert hesitated, looking at him and still angry at the fact that he was even in London after what had happened, confused as to why out of people Aaron had come to the man investigating his case. He must have been desperate. Alone.

Robert looked into his eyes and saw it all, he was so vulnerable and hardly the aggressive and strong man who had managed to kill somebody.

Robert looked around to see if anyone was looking, hiding away and being on the look out for the fugitive. He could never switch off his detective nature not even now.

"C'mon." Robert whispered as he heaved Aaron up from the floor and felt the sodden clothes he was wearing, drowned in the buckets of rain.

 

* * *

Robert walked Aaron towards the sofa and he saw Aaron groan as he rested against it. Robert shifted on his feet slightly before pulling a face, the part of him that had been used to being alone for so long couldn't help but cringe at the fact that his sofa would probably need to be dried somehow - damp from Aaron's damp.

_God he was so boring._

Aaron groaned again, the pain was becoming worse. He didn't understand why, whatever he had foolishly taken the night before was killing his insides. It was traveling through his body, cruising and gliding over every fold and making him feel sick and sweaty. Aaron wanted to speak, to voice his appreciation but he couldn't, the pain was making it hard to communicate. He could see Robert though hovering over him with worry in his eyes now as he saw Aaron grow more and more restless.

He supposed Robert wasn't used to seeing people reacting to drugs, coming down from a high like he had. But then he was a detective, he was bound to be used to seeing people in bad states, he dealt with the dead for gods sake. It didn't stop his face looking worried though, crumpled up as he tried to think of what to say to Aaron.

"Do...do you...should I..." Robert spat out quickly, he was panting now. Scared of what was happening to Aaron in front of his very eyes. He looked so sick, so ill and broken and he was worried, really worried.

Aaron managed to shake his head slowly as Robert knelt down near him, "I'm...I'm okay." He lied trying to help Robert who seemed in as much pain as he was.

Robert shook his head quickly, "You need to see a doctor..." he whispered before trailing off and realising he could hardly call an ambulance for a wanted fugitive. He was stuck with him, only he could help Aaron.

Aaron's eyes grew wider and then relaxed as he watched Robert race towards the kitchen before bringing him a glass of water.

"Here..." Robert said gently placing the glass in Aaron's weak hands.

Aaron sipped at is slowly and then rolled his head back as another wave of pain hit him hard. Robert turned away and suddenly couldn't bare seeing Aaron in such pain. He didn't deserve it.

"What...what happened...?" Robert asked as he leaned in closer and tried to understand Aaron's pain.

Aaron turned to Robert and panted in and out, "I took something...last night."

Robert got up quickly and tried to control his heart rate. What was he thinking.

"Aaron!" Robert shouted before looking st his fragile body and realising he couldn't yell at him.

Aaron gulped hard before moaning, "I...was fine this morning..." He said through shallow breath.

Robert turned away from Aaron, not wanting him to see his panic. He had seen countless cases like this before, young lad trying to enjoy himself on a night out and get high, he feel great until it dies out and the pain kicks and the panic as he realise they can't even remember what they took. Some scrubby substance mixed with god knows what, metal, bits of glass, even bleach in some cases that obviously fuck up your system.

Robert had caught a guy a few months ago, some sort of leader of the drug ring in a run down side of the city. He had found all sorts when his men searched through his flat, it was scary to think that he was responsible for three young boys getting brain damage as a result of his cheap shit.

Robert gulped hard before walking towards the bathroom and grabbing towels. Everyone always got towels in an emergency didn't they.

"Try and stay still..." Robert said softly as he came towards Aaron and tugged at his wet coat.

Aaron suddenly pulled away, using the small amount of energy he didn't even know he had left.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Aaron spat, suddenly wary of why Robert wanted him to stay still as he removed his clothes.

Robert realised what he meant and felt himself grow redder and redder at the thought.

"Aaron...I'm going to get you clean clothes...these are all wet aren't they?" Robert whispered trying to make Aaron understand.

Aaron swallowed before nodding slowly, almost given Robert permission to carry on. Robert was careful as he continued to remove Aaron's wet coat and fish out his phone before placing it on the side. He could see it was switched off and he frowned wondering why. Next Robert began to take off Aaron's shoes, unlacing them and placing them to the side as he heard Aaron wince once more.

Aaron moved his body upwards in order to make the next step easier for Robert, he shivered as Robert pulled off his soaked top. Robert blinked quickly blushing at the sight of Aaron's naked torso. His eyes moved towards the cluster is scars, fading slightly but still visible. Then he looked down to his waist and raised his eyebrow, he was thinner than before. Aaron suddenly met Robert's eyes and coughed causing Robert to look away from the man's chest.

"Do...do you want a bath?" Robert whispered to Aaron before looking towards the bathroom.

Aaron shook his head, "Maybe later." He said alluding to the fact that he would be there later and making Robert smile as he realised he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

Robert felt like an idiot as he gripped onto the towels he had carried into the room for no good reason. He rose to his feet as he walked back toward the bathroom, placed the towels down and then went into his room. He opened his drawers picking out a plain blue shirt and a pair of jogging bottoms, with a pair of socks for Aaron too. As he walked back inside the living room he saw Aaron had somehow removed his jeans which were crumbled on the floor with the rest of his clothes. Robert bit his lip, quietly relieved that Aaron had glossed over the awkward moment where Robert would have had to pull down his jeans.

God there was nothing romantic about it but the thought made Robert sweat. Being that close to Aaron.

 "I got you these.." Robert said as he passed Aaron the clothes. Aaron tried to mumble a thank you but began to shiver as he sat in nothing but his boxers.

Robert looked down at him and quickly offered him the blanket he had slept under the nights before.

"Shit here..." Robert said with panic in his voice as he passed over the blanket and let Aaron drape himself around it.

Aaron smiled weakly, feeling the familiar blanket wrapped around him somehow made him feel better.

Robert sat opposite Aaron and for a few minutes there was nothing but silence filling the room, spoiled every so often by a sudden outburst of pain from Aaron. Robert took the silence as an opportunity to sort himself out, walking towards the bathroom and staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was out of place and his eyes were wide still with concern and worry for the boy who rested on his sofa.

Not any boy. Aaron. The fugitive. The boy somehow caught up in a murder.

Robert washed cold water over his face and watched as it raced down his front and cooled his skin. He felt instantly better.

Robert slowed down his movement suddenly, he couldn't hear the familiar groan or moan from Aaron anymore. For a second he told himself it was a good sign, Aaron was probably sitting up straight now and feeling better. If only.

Robert walked back towards the living room and suddenly felt his heart give way. He could see Aaron, slouched down on the sofa hardly moving as his head was rolled back lazily against the cushions. He looked dead?

Robert surged towards him inside a voice shouting no no no no no at the top of its lungs.

"AARON...AARON...!" Robert screamed out as he raced towards him clutching as his arm as he struggled to find a heart beat. He couldn't be dead? He couldn't leave him alone...he didn't want to be alone. He wanted Aaron.

Robert wasn't careful anymore, he was shaking and rocking Aaron back and forth as he tried to wake him up but it wasn't working. Robert sat next to him, gripping hold of his hand and whispering _"please don't die"_ over and over again.

He had never felt like that before, this raw need for someone to open their eyes and comfort him. Well that was a lie.

He had. He had been here before willing someone not do die and soon the memory was making him feel sick with worry because they had don't just that. They had died in his arms just like Aaron was going to do.

"Aaron...Aaron wake up." Robert said desperately shaking Aaron with all his mite.

Suddenly he saw it, a flicker and Aaron's eyes were open again. Wide and beautiful and blue, staring up at Robert who was cradling him now.

Robert looked down and let out a sigh of relief, his head was banging like mad and he couldn't deny what he was feeling. The surge of relief was overwhelming him entirely.

"I thought you..." Robert blurted out before rubbing a hand through his hair. What if he actually had...

Aaron hadn't realised. He had just felt himself slowly drift off and he didn't complain when he felt his eyes close tightly. He didn't know he had stopped breathing properly. He didn't know that Robert was desperately pleading him to wake up, but as he lay there he felt reassurance in his arms - almost willing him to open his eyes again. It was easy when he did, he simply lifted them and suddenly he was met with Robert's eyes staring back. Greeny and filled with such concern and worry. No one had ever looked at him like that, no one had ever cared enough to.

Aaron gulped hard as he felt the pain begin to subside slightly until all he felt was a dull ache swarm over him. Robert was looking back at him now and his face was wet from tears, instinctively Aaron pressed a hand to the side of his face and gently stroked it. He was lovely, he was gentle, he was almost his.

Robert felt his breathing quicken as he felt Aaron's soft touch, he craved it. But he couldn't, he wouldn't act on anything he felt.

Aaron stared back to Robert's eyes, their faces only inches away from each other.

"You...you have beautiful eyes..." Aaron whispered before leaning closer and looking down at Robert's lips, parted and pink.

He hesitated struggling to work out what do next but it didn't take long for him to gently brush his lips against Robert's before pulling away shyly. Robert kept his eyes closed as he relished in the feel of Aaron on him, the way he had made him feel as he kissed him. However soft and subtle it had been.

It had done something to Robert.

"I'm sorry..." Aaron whispered before looking down at the floor. Suddenly Robert softly pulled his chin up to meet his eyes and returned the kiss, this time with more fire and passion as Robert found his tongue slipping and sliding as he held onto Aaron trying his hardest to think about Aaron's fragile state.

Aaron felt overwhelmed with energy all of a sudden, as if kissing Robert had managed to melt away his pain. He was panting now, struggling to keep all together as he kissed Robert deeper and tried to get over the fact that Robert was kissing him back. It felt so right, being this close to him. His guardian angel. He just had to return all the favours, and this seemed to be only way he could.

Aaron began to tug at Robert's shirt and then down to his trousers, hesitating slightly as he wondered if Robert would protest or freak out. Robert panted as he looked down at Aaron, his eyes alive with passion.

 

* * *

 

It happened in silence, Aaron pulling down Robert's jeans and feeling his cock nice and hard. It stayed silent as Aaron began to stroke him up and down and then lick him as he watched Robert throb with desire. Robert controlled his breathing purposefully attempting to not moan or groan at all, there was something about the silence that made it seem as though it wasn't actually happening. As if it was muting the feel of Aaron's hands on him, moving up and down and then sucking him quick and slow. Robert learn back and looked at the ceiling shyly grinning as he felt himself run against Aaron every time he stopped for air, he didn't dare look at him though - something told him not to.

Robert found himself getting harder and something was telling him to let go even more, why should he deny himself a little more pleasure in life? He wanted to feel how badly Aaron wanted him, he wanted to pull and tug at Aaron's hair and kiss him all over, he wanted him that badly.

Robert moved his hips to one side without even realising and suddenly he felt Aaron jolt as he took him in deeper and deeper. Robert stared wide eyed and then rolled his head back, smiling again as he could feel Aaron taking him in, all in.

It was amazing, the feeling of Aaron but he couldn't tell him. It was better this way. Aaron continued to suck and pull at Robert telling himself that he was only trying to satisfy the man who had helped him and that he himself was getting no pleasure from the act at all. He was lying but Robert's silence was almost making it seem as if it wasn't real. In the moment he wasn't Aaron and Robert wasn't Robert and the mess of his life wasn't actually happening at all. They were simply two strangers with a desperate want for each other, a silent need.

Robert bit down on his lip so hard it almost bled. He could feel himself nearly getting close to climaxing and soon reached out to grab Aaron's hair, tugging at it as if he was signalling for what was coming next. Aaron pulled out and tried to hide his smile as he looked up at Robert for the first time. Eyes closed and hair messy, nothing like the man he had met those days ago. He was beautiful.

Robert came quick and messily, suddenly letting out a little moan but finding it in himself to not call Aaron's name. He couldn't exactly comprehend how he felt, he felt as though he had just released all his trapped feelings, exploding and crying out for Aaron to notice his affection, it was overwhelming.

 Aaron wiped his mouth, licking his lips and trying to act as cool as he could. He was screaming inside, desperately wanting Robert to say something...anything to break the silence. The energy had escaped him and he felt the pain again. Dark and overwhelming. Robert wasn't looking at him, he was still trying to come to terms with what had happened as he cleaned himself up and pulled on his jeans not bothering to buckle them up again. He could still feel Aaron on his mouth, desperate and loving. But he couldn't look at him, not when he was still transfixed on how Aaron had felt pressed against him his mouth on his. It had been a long time since something so spontaneous like that had happened to him Robert, the structure of his life had been blown out the window as soon as he launched into a kiss with a fugitive.

Everything had changed, as soon as he felt Aaron suck around his cock after kissing him so tenderly, he knew nothing would be the same. He couldn't look at him the same now, knowing that a tiny part of Aaron maybe enjoyed what had happened despite the lack of indication to his enjoyment as they embraced. Suddenly Robert felt awkward on his own sofa, Aaron had huddled into the corner again suddenly shy and not wanting to be near Robert. As if he felt like now he had satisfied Robert, and God he had, Robert wouldn't want to be close to him anymore. The silence through out it all hadn't helped. Robert thought it had, but it had only made it seem wrong. As though they were hiding away. Robert shook his head realising that was exactly what they were doing, wondering why Aaron felt small and the need to huddle away was pointless.

Robert had obviously felt his own attraction but Aaron's was a surprise. A shock to the system as he tried to question why Aaron would want him, would want to pleasure him and make him feel the way he did. Gratitude. A voice called out in his mind. Maybe...maybe that's all it was.

 Robert debated whether or not to simply offer Aaron some food, flick on the TV and pretend anything had ever happened. He didn't though, the awkwardness he felt only grew as he watched Aaron's eyes flutter and his breathing become shallow. Robert smirked before looking at Aaron he had surely wiped him of all his energy.

Robert breathed in softly before rising to his feet and peering down at Aaron. His eyes were softly shut, he looked so naive, so innocent. Robert ripped them away, he wasn't though. He wasn't one of the people that could fool for charm, not like Karen from work who was somehow seduced by a suspect and subsequently tampered with evidence that got him off the hook. She had been sorry when she had come to her senses and realised that he was only after one thing but she had also been fired. He wasn't going to be blinded by this obvious attraction.

 

* * *

 

Robert walked towards his room and turned the lights off so he was sat in the dark. He was still thinking, stop wondering and more importantly still standing for attention. Robert tugged at himself, pulling and breathing in sharply as he relived it over and over again. The feel of him, his touch, the way he had managed to come alive after one kiss. When he was ready he found himself calling out Aaron's name when he came over his fist.

He cleaned himself up once more and rested against his bed still high on lust. But he couldn't help but wonder how Aaron had felt. He had apologised when he kissed him, he was sorry. And then they were silent, so silent as they embraced. Questions circled Robert's mind.

_Did he want me?_

_Did he just want to please me?_

_Does he think I'm that sort of guy because I let him?_

Robert shook his head before laying down, tomorrow he would find out all the answers, tonight he would dream of Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeee I was very nervous about updating this fic because of the smut at the end...I'm not known for my smut but they'll be more to come so please be gentle with the comments looool!


	13. The morning after.

Robert woke the next morning earlier than he needed to, unlike the day before he seemed alert and somewhat ready for the day ahead. He told himself it was because he didn't want to make a show of himself at work for the second day in a row but really he knew that it was subconsciously the fact that Aaron was in his living room again and he wanted to see him.

Check on him, well not check on him but...see if he was okay. He silently prayed that he wasn't still in pain, he hated seeing him just lie there like that, almost doubled over in agony.

Robert sat up on his bed as he gulped and tried to stop the hoarseness of his throat from getting worse. It reminded him of last night, why exactly his throat was in such a way.

**_'AARON...AARON!'_ **

Robert shuddered as he remembered the sheer panic in his voice and imagined the way he must have been staring at Aaron. He must of been able to realise how worried Robert was.

 _Was that the reason why he kissed him? Did Aaron want to thank him in another way?_ Using his hands, his tongue instead of the words.

Robert had hardly slept, he was tossing and turning for hours as he listened out for the sound of Aaron's shallowing breathing. When he heard it though, every few seconds - he couldn't help but feel relaxed and calm by the soft soft surrounding him. He had managed to drift off to the sound of him, it was reminding him of _her_. It had been a long time since Robert had heard the sound of another person like that, subtle and innocent.

It had been a long time since he had listened out for it, feeling the sense of fear when he didn't. The feeling was buried deep he thought, reserved for another chapter in his life that he had stored away - but now it has been reopened again. Aaron's presence had suddenly managed to turn the pages back to the feeling, to the memory.

Robert's eyes locked on the picture of _her_ , smiling and happy. Long before anything really bad had happened, before the walls caved in around them and everything was shattered.

Robert dreamt of _her_ that night, and then of Aaron.

 

* * *

 

Robert tiptoed into the room, wearing only his boxer shorts and his scruffy hair. He could still hear Aaron's soft murmur and smiled at the sight of him. Once again he couldn't see what the others saw, what he was paid to see.

Aaron turned sharply and then let out a small groan causing Robert to tentatively walk over to him.

"Arghh." Aaron groaned as he opened his eyes and shifted up on the sofa. He was still in pain, it was back with vengeance and he cursed himself as he thought about how he carelessly for drugs and consumed it all without a second thought.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Robert whispered as he looked down at Aaron.

Aaron suddenly looked up and saw Robert, long and dangly and stand right above him. He suddenly felt shy in his presence as he remembered the night before, the way he had aroused him, kissed him, pulled at his jeans and satisfied him with all his mite. Aaron bit down on his lip as he turned away from Robert and shook his head.

He couldn't really believe what had happened, it had been such a blur - the whole night. He had made it to Robert's - barely and then there was rain. Lots of rain. Robert had come and he had helped him, lifted him up and carried him to his flat like a wounded animal. He had listened to his pain and offered his help. Robert had been so kind. So terribly kind and all he was doing in return was groaning and moaning as he felt the intensity of the pain increase.

Aaron remembered feeling cold, shaking and then Robert placing a blanket round him. A familiar feel that had made him smile. Then he was stripping and clothes were bought to him, Robert's clothes - fresh and smelling of him. Then it went dark, his eyes grew heavy and before he knew it he was gone...completely gone. Until he felt strong arms shake him and heard a panicked voice overwhelm him entirely.

It was when he opened his eyes finally and saw Robert's worry that he suddenly felt the need to return the thanks, offer his gratitude in a way that made him feel dirty now he thought about it. Robert was just silent and so was he and it was over quickly, leaving Aaron breathless and feeling somewhat fulfilled. 

The cold light of day though made him feel empty and wrong and he was soon questioning if it had actually happened. Robert was smiling at him, asking questions and once again offering his damn help. Aaron chewed on his lip as his eyes met Robert's. Then he remembered another small detail, how beautiful his eyes were. Aaron knew he was staring for too long so pulled away and cleared his throat as he felt the pain run through him again, he was seriously messed up because of this drug - as well as all the other shit in his life.

"It's getting worse isn't it?" Robert said slowly as he sat opposite Aaron. He was trying, really trying to tell Aaron that he didn't need to be shy around him without sounding like a dick.

It wasn't really appropriate to say...  
_'Hey it's okay, you sucked my cock last night and well even though you're a fugitive...don't be shy!"_

Robert blushed as he thought about it.

Aaron turned to him,  
"Maybe...maybe I have an infection..." he offered causing Robert to nod.

"Keep your fluids up then yeah...plenty of water..." Robert said before walking towards the fridge and unscrewing a bottle of water. "Here." Robert whispered as he offered Aaron the bottle.

"I still can't believe that you just -" Robert cut off his words not wanting to sound like a disapproving old man.

Aaron sighed hard, "He said it was for...to relieve pain and stress...I was gullible I admit that..."

Robert nodded his head, "They'll say anything..."

There was silence then, a long silence as Robert sat and watched Aaron gulp down the cold water and let out a small 'ahhh'. He looked better for it really as he wet his lips and rolled his head back, he obviously hadn't drunk in a while.

The silence was beginning to come awkward and soon Robert found only two topics on his tongue.

  
**1\. So...about last night...  
2\. So...are you going to explain your situation to me now or...?**

Neither were topics that he thought Aaron would be happy to discuss. But if he started with number one and managed to make Aaron somewhat comfortable, the second would be easier to approach after.

Robert cleared his throat deciding on his plan, "So...about -"

Aaron looked up and then across to Robert's phone which was ringing. Saved by the bell rang to mind.

"S-sorry." Robert whispered as he walked over to his phone and silently cursed whoever was ringing him at seven in the morning. It was Jensen of course, so the cursing was fitting.

Robert stood on the spot wondering whether to answer it in front of Aaron. Talking to his boss about the case as he helped one of the suspects just seemed to over stepping the mark...right?

Robert answered the call quickly, "Hello." He said as he walked across to the hallway.

"Sugden...have you seen the news yet?" Jensen snapped.

Robert gulped hard, "Er...no why?"

"Our little press conference has made it, breakfast news. Apparently it's prompted someone to come forward with news about Aaron Livesy."

Robert shuddered, he was literally staring at Aaron as he tried to voice his shock to Jensen. It felt so wrong.

"Really?" Robert let out "Wow...er that's...that's great." He lied.

"Yeah well I need you to come down earlier today so we can discuss things. Look through the actual report." Jensen said shuffling papers as he spoke.

Robert frowned thinking back to how he behaved yesterday with Max. Jensen had practically kicked him out. Now Jensen was ringing him up in the morning and asking him to look over new evidence.

"Is that okay Sugden?" Jensen said after a few seconds of silence.

Robert instantly thought of Aaron, leaving Aaron.

"Er...yeah that's fine" Robert said trying to hide his reluctance "I just thought after yesterday..." Robert said slowly.

Jensen cleared his throat, "Yeah well...that's forgotten. I told himself if you didn't pick up today then...then I'd know you probably drunk yourself silly last night feeling sorry for ya self...and you wouldn't be up for the job."

Robert smiled softly, he had passed the test then. Aaron being there had somehow jolted something in his mind, he was alert, more ready and focused then he had been without him. Maybe it was the fact that someone needed him, so he needed to be switched on. He couldn't slip. He had done it before, changed because he had to...because of _her_.

"Well...er cheers. I promise...I'm okay now." Robert said failing to resist the urge to look at Aaron.

Robert shifted on his feet as he heard Jensen tell him that he would see him in a bit. Robert nodded his head telling Jesnen the same thing before cutting the call and looking back at Aaron again.

  
The ease in which he had spoken to Jensen had somehow made him feel more free and confident. He had to act now when he was feeling more comfortable.

"That was work...I need to go in a bit earlier." Robert said softly as he approached Aaron. A part of him debated whether or not to tell Aaron the reason, give him a warning. But then the selfish part of him longed to keep Aaron in the dark, keep him unaware and dependent on Robert. He desperately wanted to be needed again.

  
Aaron nodded his head,  
"Alright," he whispered before looking at Robert "Don't worry I'm not gonna do a runner." He added before pulling am awkward face.

Robert bit down on his lip, "You're hardly in any fit state," he laughed before staring down at the floor and remembering just how passionate and fit Aaron had been last night, for those moment they shared. The silent ones.

Aaron chewed on his lip - he was thinking the exact same thing. He couldn't help but feel the need to explain it all, explain why he had been so intimate and why he had initiated their embrace.

"About last night." Aaron blurted out causing Robert to stare at him "When I kissed you and -"

Robert cleared his throat and flushed bright red. He had wanted to address it but now it just felt too awkward.

  
"I suppose I just wanted to thank you...for everything..." Aaron said slowly.

  
Robert frowned, "You don't have to exp-"

"I do. I know you probably think I'm just some dirty gay bloke trying my luck and I don't want you to-" Aaron said suddenly ignoring his pain and becoming determined to tell Robert what he thought.

  
Robert felt a strong need to hold Aaron close then, to tell him that he was wrong.

  
"Hey..." Robert moved closer towards Aaron, "I could never think that." He whispered.

  
"But I...I was...I just wanted to show you that I was grateful...shit I sound like such a-"

  
"Stop" Robert said placing a hand out.

Aaron couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Nothing he was saying made sense.

"I kissed you...'cos I wanted to...and you didn't pull away." Aaron stated quickly. Robert blushed, he didn't pull away because he wanted to kiss Aaron to.

Robert gulped hard, "Was it because you...wanted to just...thank me?" He said wondering if it all stemmed from gratitude and not desire or attraction.

Aaron shook his head, "That's what I told myself." He said half answering Robert's question and causing Robert to smile.

  
"I just...thought that...if I..." Aaron instinctively looked towards Robert's groin and back up again, "You wouldn't chuck me out. We'd both be I don't know...doing each other a favour."

 

  
Robert backed away slowly wondering if Aaron had ever done that sort of thing before. Pleasured someone in order to keep a roof over his head or food in his stomach. He couldn't help but feel sad for him.

 

  
"Aaron, I'm not that type of bloke...who you know...you didn't have to-"

  
"That's the thing though...I didn't want to stop, I wanted to..." Aaron said shyly.

  
"You wanted me?" Robert said slowly.

Aaron bit down on his lip wondering why exactly the idea seemed so odd to Robert.

"Yeah...I wanted you."

Robert tried to hide his smile, it had been a long time since someone had wanted him.

Aaron studied Robert's face, he was looking away from him now and Aaron couldn't help but think he had pushed him away because of what he had said.

"What?" Robert said as he caught Aaron looking at him.

Aaron bent his head and winced at his pain surfacing once more, "Well...last night I mean...you just said I didn't need to. Did you not want me to?" He asked slowly.

Robert stared open mouthed. He couldn't tell Aaron how he felt back. He couldn't tell him that last night was amazing, that he felt and was incredible. If he did then he wouldn't be able to back away, not now he knew that Aaron wanted him. Aaron felt something for him that made him feel the need to embrace him without even knowing if he was into men at all.

"You were silent...you didn't push me off or...ask me what I thought I was playing at..." Aaron said frowning as he tried to work out how Robert's feelings slotted into it all.

Robert felt his breathing quicken. He hated hearing Aaron rack his brains. He remembered the silence, only the sharp intakes of breath and the sound of Aaron's mouth on his was heard. The silence had somehow put up a barrier between them, they weren't given themselves to each other properly and the fact that Robert wasn't moaning or calling our Aaron's name made the whole thing seem surreal.

"Aaron..." Robert whispered. It was all he could say.

"No...no listen I'm sorry...I didn't even ask if you were gay!" Robert felt his face redden, "I mean it was the way you looked at me when I opened my eyes, no one had ever looked at me like that..." Aaron tried to hide his blush, "And I just didn't think. I should have asked...I mean really -"

"Who asks if someone's gay eh?" Robert said softly trying to calm Aaron down.

Aaron winced as he felt the pain race through him again, suddenly he closed his eyes and remembered the woman in the picture, the one in Robert's room that he had seen before. Shit "you're not even gay...god that...that woman in the photo is she?" Robert felt his heart thump loudly and he couldn't help but look away. _When did he see it?_ Aaron breathed in and then out again "shit I didn't force you though did I?" Aaron said suddenly panicking.

Robert suddenly reached out for Aaron's hand and squeezed it tightly causing Aaron to almost instantly relax as he felt Robert's warm touch.

"You didn't force me at all." Robert breathed in and out sharply, "I wanted you Aaron..." He suddenly blurted out.

Aaron felt another feeling surge through him finally feeling something other than pain. _Why the hell would Robert want him?_ He was a mess, a fugitive.

_God Robert must have been desperate._

"You wanted me?" Aaron whispered mirroring what Robert had said.

Robert nodded slowly. _God yes._

"I did...Aaron I kissed you back remember..." Robert shuddered as he remembered how he had just simply let go and given himself to Aaron "But I stayed silent...not saying anything...it just created this distance...I needed it because if I spoke I was afraid that..."

Robert looked away deciding that telling Aaron he was scared that he would have admitted to how he felt was not something he should be doing. Aaron nodded his head slowly not really understanding what Robert was saying.

Robert wanted him...last night.

He didn't stop him...he let him kiss him, touch him, feel him.

"So...you're..." Aaron trailed off encouraging Robert to finish the sentence.

Robert cleared his throat, "Bi...er bisexual."

Aaron raised his eyebrows, a part of him wanted to ask him about the woman was again and who she was to Robert but Robert's silence before when he had mentioned her, held him back.

Robert looked at Aaron, "Is that a surprise? Considering last night and all I thought it would have been pretty clear..." he asked looking at Aaron who was fidgety.

Aaron shook his head before scoffing, "Eh every bloke likes his cock sucked some are just a bit more picky about who's actually doing it." He chuckled.

Robert looked across to the clock and realised that he needed to get ready. He stood up slowly before looking down at Aaron.

"Hey...you don't have anything to feel dirty or ... or embarrassed about. Do you hear me?"

Aaron nodded his head slowly and watched as Robert walked towards the bathroom and clicked the door shut. His face was red and flustered but he simply told himself it was because of the shit in his system and not because of the smoothness of Robert's voice.

Robert rushed back inside the living room twenty minutes later, grabbing a coffee and smiling at Aaron he was drifting off to sleep again. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn't even asked Aaron why he ended up by his door.

He was desperate to hear why, Robert looked down at his watch - he had time.

"Hey..." Robert whispered sitting on the small coffee table and looking at Aaron who was actually more awake than he thought.

"I'm leaving now..." Robert said softly.

Aaron nodded his head, "What time will you be back?"

"About six. There's plenty in the fridge and...there's some water on the side for you." Robert said looking over at the kitchen area.

Aaron blinked softly, "Thank you." He groaned.

Robert nodded before hesitating and simple finding it hard to leave.

"Aaron...you will be here when I get back...right?"

He was taken aback by how honest he had been. He hated the fact that although Aaron needed him, he needed Aaron even more. At least Aaron had every right to need him, he was desperate, alone and sick - physically it was visible.

Robert hated the fact that he was just the same, only mentally.

Aaron stared at Robert and stopped the urge to hold his face.

"Do you think I would have come all the way here if I was only gonna do a runner when your back was turned?"

Robert smiled softly, "Why did you come here? Weren't you scared that I would have said something?"

Aaron gulped hard, "Course...but I needed you and...deep down I hoped that you would have helped me...and you did so..."

 Robert smiled wider before pulling away from Aaron, picking up his case and walking towards the door. The sound of the door slamming suddenly jolted Robert as he was hit with fresh cold city air. He had to try and force Aaron out of his mind...for as long as he could - which would be about twenty minutes considering the fact that his job currently consisted of:

_Aaron Livesy Aaron Livesy Aaron Livesy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts always welcome ;)


	14. Dealing with a Drugy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert can't help but find out information for Aaron.

"Well well well..." Liam teased as soon as he heard Robert's footsteps and heard him place down his case.

"Shut ya face." Robert sighed smiling softly at Liam to hint at his playfulness.

Liam rolled his eyes before putting his hand up as to surrender.

"Hey...hey don't argue with him. He'll deck ya one mate!" Aiden suddenly shouted over his laptop.

"Ha ha ha very funny." Robert said sarcastically. Secretly he smiled, grateful that no one was making a massive deal about it all and taking it too seriously.

Jensen suddenly appeared from his office, standing tall and proud and making Robert feel inferior.

"Sugden you're here. Come this way..." Jensen said causing Robert to clear his throat and follow Jensen into his office.

Robert sat down opposite Jensen and smiled at him as he watched Jensen gather together some files and place a statement report in between them.

"Last night a Mr..." Jensen peered closer  "Daniel 'Trix' Leyton made a statement regarding Mr Livesy, apparently he saw him two nights ago and was pretty certain of it."

Robert scoffed at the name 'Trix' before looking at Jensen, "So what do we know about this 'Trix' then?"

Jensen cleared his throat, "Well that's the thing...Mr Leyton is well known in the area for a being a drug dealer, which is how he claims he knows him. According to Mr Leyton, Mr Livesy bought drugs from him two nights ago."

Robert felt his heart race as he realised what Jensen was saying. Aaron was ill, in agony because he had taken something dodgy and now he was discovering who was behind his pain.

Robert instantly frowned as he tried to keep it together, "Wait so you're saying that...this bloke just came forward and willing told the police that he gave Mr Livesy drugs?"

That was hardly plausible, or was he that thick that the idea of him getting sent down for drug dealing just didn't so happen to cross his mind at all.

Jensen shook his head, "He had been picked up by some local coppers...he was already in trouble and then he overheard Max blabbing on about the case, so he chirped in."

Max, of course he was involved.

Robert instantly felt better though as he realised that his statement was hardly water tight.

"You don't really believe him though boss, right?" Robert said confidently almost laughing it off.

Jensen twitched, "Despite his lack of reliability Sugden we cannot just ignore the idea of Mr Livesy being in London as we speak."

_Or to be more specific, laying on Robert's comfortable sofa._

Robert darted his eyes away suddenly feeling overwhelmed. When he felt Jensen staring at him he forced himself to look back.

"We have to be extra vigilant. Strike whilst we can." Jensen said sternly moving his hands to try and exaggerate his point.

Robert felt his head get clammy, what on earth was he supposed to do. If they became 'extra vigilant' what would happen to Aaron? He wouldn't be able to get away safely.

"Here me out..." Robert cleared his throat, "Let's actually think about this...Mr Livesy is on the run. He must know he is wanted, so why on earth would he be buying dodgy drugs right underneath our noses?"

Jensen scratched at his light stubble before tapping the files, "Who said he was a smart bloke?"

"His files. The fact that he managed to stay out of trouble for two years, laying low and not being caught at all." Robert said quickly hitting back and determined to shut it down.

Jensen stayed silent.

"I...we can't take him seriously sir." Robert said leaning back again his chair, "He was already in trouble...he probably thought that telling you where Livesy was would make things better for him." Robert smiled before suddenly frown as he watched Jensen squirm.

"Jensen?" Robert asked nervously wondering why he seemed so shifty.

"Well er ... after he gave his statement...Max made sure he didn't get into any more trouble. They let him go."

Robert's eyes widened, "Without charge?" He shouted.

Jensen shook his head quickly, "Without...yeah. There wasn't enough evidence but...I suppose you're right Max probably told them to go easier on him."

Robert scoffed, "And you're alright with that?"

"Well no...no but-"

"Since when did Max call the shots round here?" Robert said bluntly.

"He dosent." Jensen said before lifting from his chair and putting the files away.

Robert shook his head still angry about the fact that this man was not only a drug dealer but also a snitch.

"So you've just let some drug dealer walk free?" Robert said swiftly, "That's fine then."

Jensen rolled his eyes before tossing Robert his statement and details.

"Here. You wanna get him done for possession or find out answers to make yourself feel better, go on then."

Robert frowned slowly before grasping the paper in his hand. He wanted to see him, to find out what shit he laced his drugs in and why Aaron was doubled over in pain days after taking it. He was curious as always.

"I will." Robert said sharply before turning to leave.

"Oi Sugden." Jensen called out forcing Robert to turn round, "Make sure you take someone with ya yeah..."

Robert nodded his head wondering who it would be. He didn't want to take Grace, she would probably freak out a bit too much, Loui would ask too many questions and probably pick up on his personal curiosity and anger he felt. Aiden would probably uber analyse everything and that wouldn't be good. Max was not even an option so that left...Liam. Oh lord. At least he was somewhat laid back and could maybe be friendly with the dealer as he looked around his place.

Maybe he would have some use.

 

* * *

  

"Cheers by the way." Liam said chewing some gum as he sat next to Robert in the car.

Robert had practically dragged Liam to the car after walking through the office, of course Liam was asking quarries but he soon perked up when he realised that he was getting out of work for a while, "It's alright..." Robert said as he tried to focus on the road ahead and finding the address to Daniel's home.

"So we're going to some drug lord's house." Liam said leaning back on his seat and causing Robert to sigh.

"Hardly a drug lord, just some drug dealer who said he saw Livesy two nights ago..."

Liam frowned, "I thought he already face his statement about it?"

Robert fidgeted, "It's...it's a follow up..."

Liam pulled a face, "But -"

"Listen were going there, I'm asking questions, you're keeping shut and that's that."

Liam bit his lip and Robert was thankful that the rest of the journey was in silence.

Robert hasn't even allowed himself to be remotely wary of the man he was going to see until he pulled up at a grubby block of flats and stared up at the shabby briefs and shattered windows. Run down as anything. Robert gulped as he turned the engine off amd approached the building with Liam by his side, he was actually grateful now that Jensen had forced someone to go with him. He was questioning a drug dealer who was probably feeling pretty cocky about the fact that he hadn't been charged with anything the day before. Probably in the mood to celebrate and not in the mood at all for two detectives landing at his door, spoil ing the fun.

Robert hesitated before knocking on the door to his flat. The stairway Robert and Liam had just climbed had a certain stench about it that made them both pull a face and Liam spat on the floor with gusto causing Robert to sigh.

"What?" Liam said looking at Robert. "The place stinks like shit...all up in my throat."

Robert couldn't help but chuckle, for once Liam's blunt childishness was making him feel more relaxed.

Suddenly the door flew open and Robert and Liam were met by a wide eyed young man, thin and gaunt looking.

Robert was already noticing the drugs as he looked at him more closely, the scratches on his skin - marks from needles Robert noted. His face was full of surprise, shock and nerves but Robert could tell that he was trying to keep it together.

"Mr Leyton." Robert said firmly after leaving them in silence for a few minutes.

Daniel coughed clearly as if trying to clear his throats, "Who wants to know?" He said harshly as he looked Liam up and down and tried to size him up.

Robert smiled softly knowing that Daniel was a bag of nerves was making him more confident, "We're with the police."

"I haven't...they let me go so..." Daniel blurted out before trying to shut the door. Liam's hand blocked him and Robert suddenly moved forward so he was staring at Daniel intensely "I think we need to come in" he whispered.

 

* * *

 

Robert studied the small space between the walls. The rooms were stuffy and untidy, filled with boxes as if Daniel had nearly moved in. Robert noted it in his head before watching Daniel try and hold his glare. He could smell the drugs around but he couldn't see them, they weren't visible and immediately he felt like kicking himself.

"So...what is it you actually want?" Daniel spat looking at Robert and realising he was the one with authority.

Liam quickly looked at Robert in hope of him to speak. Rolled his eyes and sighed.

"You said you have seen Mr Livesy..." Robert said before clearing his throat.

Daniel nodded his head, "Yeah...two nights ago. Pretty late it was."

Robert raised his eyebrows, "Sold him drugs?"

Daniel fidgeted slowly.

"Don't worry mate we know about that." Liam scoffed.

"Well yeah...yeah I did." Daniel whispered.

"How much?" Robert spat suddenly thinking about how badly Aaron had been effected.

"I can't remember..." Daniel sighed as he rested again the wall.

Robert tensed his jaw, "I'm not asking you to remember how many gramms, just...was it a lot or -"

Daniel chewed his lip, "Didn't need to be...he got the strong shit."

Robert pulled a face. _How strong? What did that mean? How much damaging would that cause?_

"Strong shit?" Liam asked helping Robert who couldn't help but feel scared about exactly what that meant.

Daniel played with his fingers, "Yeah..."

Liam cleared his throat before pulling out a notepad and impressing Robert.

"Care to elaborate on that for us sir."

"I gave him a lot of something he only needed a little of." Daniel sighed loudly.

Robert blinked quickly, "What? Why would you -"

"He seemed desperate for something..." Daniel mumbled.

Robert shook his head trying his hardest not to imagine a desperate Aaron.

"So you gave him too much?" Robert spat out.

"He should have taken it in small doses...wait is he alright?" Daniel said now nervous.

Liam looked over at Robert before frowning, "So you're saying that you supplied Mr Livesy with drugs...knowing that they could potentially harm him if he didn't take it in small doses?"

"Am I getting questioned here? I thought you wanted me help or..."

Robert bit down on his lip, "We do. You are helping us."

Daniel frowned.

"You giving Livesy drugs that may have caused side effects is important. Anything could have happened to him as a result!"

Robert yelled causing Liam to hold him back before he even realised he was so close to Daniels face.

The anger and frustration for Aaron had leapt out and he couldn't control it.

"What was in the drugs?" Robert spat after trying to gather his thoughts.

Daniel fidgeted, "What do ya mean?"

"Any...odd substances that could have tainted Aaron's...I mean Livesy's way of living?" Robert said nervously. A part of him wanted to keep on going, prodding him with questions but Daniels almost scared face told him not to.

"I...I..." Daniel stammered looking betterment Liam and Robert nervously.

"Think. Hard." Robert panted as he stared at Daniel steely in the eyes.

"Maybe...I think it had some other shit mixed in...some powder and rock ends..."

Robert inhaled sharply before frowning, "Wha...what is that?"

"Rock ends...just a mixture of powdered down sediment." Liam said swiftly before smiling at Daniel and almost daring him to challenge what he had said.

Robert turned towards Daniel, "You sick bastard."

Daniel let out a little whelp before looking towards the ground.

"How...is that dangerous...?" Robert asked slowly trying to hold back his thoughts.

Liam shrugged his shoulders, "Depends I think."

"Is that true? Daniel is he going to be alright?"

Daniel yanked his head up and smiled gingerly, "He should be fine...in a few days. It's hardly flipping bleach and glass is it!"

Robert bit down on his lip. That wasn't good enough but he could hardly continue shouting at him in front of Liam.

"We better be..." Robert said turning to Liam as he suddenly felt awkward in the mans home.

Liam nodded slowly before backing out of the room and watching as Daniel squirmed.

"We'll be in touch. I'll have someone watching you mate." Robert smiled causing Daniel to look away, "So next time you plan on selling your dirt to anyone, I'll make sure you're locked up for a long while." He added before shutting the door and walking towards their car.

Robert let out a big sigh of relief, suddenly happy that he at least knew that Aaron would get better soon.

 He wasn't in a lot of danger - health wise at least.

"What?" Robert snapped as he caught Liam squinting at him.

"You were hell bent on finding out if our little suspect would pull through after some dodgy drugs..." Liam whispered as they got into the car.

Robert went bright red. _Was he that obvious?_

"Yeah and?" Robert snapped back.

"Anyone would think you cared..." Liam added in before putting his seat belt on and smirking.

Robert rolled his head back knowing exactly what Liam was trying to say and knowing that he was most definitely right about it.

"I care about getting our man, alive and well enough to tell us what we need to know..." Robert bit back.

Liam nodded his head slowly and looked towards the street.

"What good is he to us if...if he could be lying dead in some ditch because of an overdose?" Robert added trying to undermine Liam further.

_It had worked._

"Course boss. Only messing." Liam said quickly laughing and trying to add some humour to the journey.

_It hadn't worked._

"Take your notes to Jensen and tell him I had to head off." Robert sighed as the the pulled up outside the station.

The journey back had been a silent one, Robert trying to work out how to feel. He was relieved, Aaron would be okay - but then what would happen? He would be okay to go again, leave him alone. He didn't want him to have to just up and leave or feel like he had to. But then he thought about it, thought about the situation and the fact that Aaron wasn't a nice old friend stopping by for a few days who he had got attached to again.

No this was a fugitive.

A fugitive who took drugs, recklessly by the sounds of it.

Despite everything Robert still felt the need to go and comfort him though.

The thought of coming home to someone and making them feel safe was a feeling he had forgotten, a feeling he craved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of robron but all this stuff is important to the whole fic!


	15. Hold me close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finds out about how much he is in the public eye and Robert tries to help him cope.

Robert inhaled sharply as he got to his apartment door, for a few seconds he rested his ear against the door and tried to hear voices behind it like he had done before, but nothing. All Robert could hear was soft breathing and a few sharp intakes of breath that told him that Aaron was still there, he smiled to himself as he thought about how relieved he was.

"Hey..." Robert smiled as he walked through the door carrying a small bag. He had taken a detour on the way home and went to a pharmacy, standing in a line for a good twenty minutes trying to find the right words to ask the lady at the front what could help a mild substance abuse situation.

Of course he hadn't told her that, the conversation had centred on him being a detective (flashing his legit card at her) which got her attention and asked her what would be best to treat it. She smiled and offered her suggestions which included herbal shit and a few tablets which Robert happily purchased. She hadn't really questioned him but in all honesty not a lot of people did question investigators.

Aaron looked up from the sofa and smiled across at Robert making Robert almost catch his breath, he looked brighter.

"You're home earlier than I though you'd be." Aaron said before shuffling on the sofa and making room for Robert to sit next to him.

Robert smiled. The gesture was so minute but it was because it was so normal and domesticated that Robert found himself feeling almost giddy. Giddy at the fact that Aaron had made room for him to sit down with him. He was very much a loser Robert thought as he felt his legs brush against Aaron's as he turned to look at him, to someone sitting on his sofa with him, both perfectly fitting together.

"Yeah well...I left earlier didn't I." Robert said as he looked at Aaron.

Aaron bit his lip a part of him for a second forgot who he was, forgot who Robert was and he was overwhelmed with the need to ask Robert how his work was. He was almost tempted to utter the words until his eyes fell on Robert's small briefcase probably filled with notes about him and he shuddered at the thought. He didn't want to talk about Robert's work at all.

"Have you eaten anything?" Robert asked before looking towards the kitchen.

 Aaron shook his head, "Plenty of water...couldn't hold anything solid down." He sighed as he watched Robert nod his head.

"Get up to anything else?" Robert asked suddenly intrigued to know what Aaron had done with himself all day.

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "I read a book on that shelf...boring as anything though..." He sighed pointing to the book shelf behind them.

Robert frowned, "You could have turned the tv on." He said pointing towards the large TV in front of them.

Aaron bit his lip before staring at it squarely in the face. It was the biggest tv Aaron had ever seen, the thought of messing it up in any way made him wary of it all day.

"Er...there were too many remotes...didn't - didn't want to break it..." Aaron blushed.

"Don't be daft." Robert scoffed before stretching out over Aaron and grabbing the biggest remote, for a second he lingered at his lap and licked his lips, a second too long he thought as he felt the room go silent again. Silence simply reminded him of what happened the night before and the thought made him smile seductively. It was a wicked thought he couldn't forget.

"Here..." Robert said as he pulled himself up again and passed the remote to Aaron, "That up arrow is for going through all the channels and if you press that one...then you'll see all the shows you want and you can just click on them."

Aaron stared wide eyed before nodding his head and smiling, "Cheers," he whispered, suddenly not wanting to look at Robert for some reason.

Robert nodded his head slowly before clearing his throat and staring at his watch. He suddenly felt any tension he had before, melt away. Any last ounce of wary regarding Aaron had disappeared as he looked over at him, flicking through the channels like an excited little kid. He looked so innocent despite the fact that they all called him guilty.

Robert dashed cold water onto his face as he looked into the mirror of the bathroom. He looked better than he had a few days ago, the lines on his forehead weren't as prominent and for the first time in years his eyes weren't as boring as he thought they were.

Maybe it had something to do with Aaron's comment, something about it just made him blush - no one commented his eyes. Robert rubbed his face with a towel as he heard the sound of the channels flicking through quickly. Suddenly the sound stopped and he could hear a reporter:

_'...the police say they have had interest shown in the case by a member of the public who has reportedly seen Mr Aaron Livesy in the area...no further comment has been made on the matter...'_

Robert gulped hard. _Shit_. Aaron was bound to panic now, get himself into a state and want to leave. He couldn't stop him, he couldn't let him leave either though.

Slowly Robert walked into the living room and his heart raced as he looked over at Aaron. He was right, he was in a right state. He could hear his breathing quick and dangerously so. His hair was all out of place from the feel of his hands racing through it and Robert couldn't help but notice the sheer panic in his eyes.

"They...they know I'm here...they -" Aaron blurted out suddenly standing and staring at Robert in disbelief.

Robert gulped again and put his hands out towards Aaron.

"Listen to me...eh...listen okay." He said slowly as he approached Aaron and saw him pull away, "It was...the drug dealer...he said he saw ya...that was it okay."

Aaron backed away, "You knew?" Robert bit his lip, "Is that why you left this morning? Had to get his statement?"

Robert sighed, "No Aaron...no-"

Aaron shook his head. He was nearly crying now and Robert was shocked by the raw emotion, he didn't know how to react. He was useless at feelings and shit.

"Don't lie to me. Please." Aaron mumbled before finally allowing himself to cry.

Robert shook his head, "I'm not! I'm not Aaron..."

Aaron was still standing there clinging to himself suddenly feeling like a caged animal, a sitting duck waiting for them to arrive and take him away.

"They're coming aren't they?" Aaron said quickly, "They're coming to get me...oh god." He said, his voice was shaky and making him feel even worse as he heard it. He was completely on edge, literally backing himself into the corner of the room and shaking with fear.

Robert stood back and felt his heart ache for the boy in front of him. He was cradling himself in the corner of his apartment, seemingly having some sort of panic attack by the sounds of his erratic breathing. Robert shuddered, finding the entire ordeal completely unsettling.

Flashbacks filled his mind as he remembered how he had sat in that exact position, cradling himself tight as he rocked by and forth and let the tears roll down his face messily. All he had wanted was a pair of arms to hold onto, a strong force to keep him balanced - but he had had no one, he had pushed them all away.

Robert looked back at Aaron, still panting, still huddled and broken and he decided that he wouldn't let him feel that same pain. No way. Robert shuffled towards Aaron and immediately wrapped his arms around him, he was cradling him now and simply allowing Aaron to cry into him.

"I can't...I don't want them to...please Robert...I'm sorry...I'm sorry." Aaron mumbled messily into Robert's shirt. He was still panicking, still scared out of his mind by the thought of them crashing through the doors and taking him away. But Robert's tight hold and warm embrace was making him feel calmer, he was almost dizzy from the scent of Robert so close to him, manly and powerful.

"No ones coming Aaron." Robert whispered into Aaron as he felt him start to shake from the power of his tears.

"You don't know that..." Aaron mumbled, still not daring to look Robert in the eye. Even though Robert could hear him crying his heart out, he didn't want those beautiful green eyes to see the sad pathetic loser, who had easily taken control of his feelings the night before, fall apart in front of him.

"I do." Robert whispered before resting his chin on Aaron's hair, wet with sweat courtesy of Aaron's blind panic and worry.

Aaron shifted his weight before resting his head against Robert's chest, he was thankful that Robert wasn't letting go of his hold yet.

"Aaron...my boss wanted to speak to me this morning about the man who had come forward with the statement, it was the drug dealer...the one that sold you that stuff. My boss...he wanted to ask me what I thought I suppose, so of course I told him he was unrealible, he believed me Aaron - didn't even question what he thought about it." Robert mumbled slowly, making sure Aaron understood.

Aaron felt his shoulders drop slowly as he suddenly built up the courage to look at Robert. He was looking at him, his face filled with worry and concern hidden away behind a smile. Aaron felt a wave of relief wash over him as he replayed what Robert had told him, over and over again. They didn't believe the stupid snitch and he wasn't sussed out just yet.

Aaron paused as he thought about what Robert had said. And the way he had added in the _'of course'_ so flippantly, as if it was obvious that Robert would lie and manipulate his boss into thinking he was wrong for Aaron.

For a fugitive, for the man who was the criminal in the equation.

Aaron bit down on his lip before wiping his face that had almost certainly turned bright red from all the crying. Suddenly he felt his hand caress Robert's face, he was looking into his eyes again and he couldn't stop himself from gently stroking his cheek. He could hear Robert breathing, slow and then quicker, much quicker.

"Of course?" Aaron whispered causing Robert to frown.

"What?" Robert said trying to control his breathing as he stared at Aaron.

"You said... 'of course' you told your boss that it was unrealible." Aaron edged back still placing a hand on Robert's cheek and not knowing how to rip it away.

Robert suddenly bit down on his lip and smiled at Aaron, he was probably blushing too but he didn't really care.

"Yeah well...I didn't want him to think-"

"Why?" Aaron asked tentatively.

Now it was Robert's turn to put his hand on Aaron's cheek, he didn't know how to say it. How to say how he felt.

"You know why..." Robert whispered before looking into Aaron's eyes and smiling softly.

Aaron felt his heart racing and suddenly he brushed his lips against Robert's. Then he found himself pushing against Robert, moving his body and feeling Robert's lips against his own. He was lost and found all at the same time and it felt so right.

Robert was panting and Aaron suddenly realised that once again Robert was not backing away, he was gripping onto Aaron's clothes and tugging at them as he let out a small groan. And then a moan of pleasure that sent shivers down Aaron's spine. He was enjoying this right? Aaron thought to himself as their kiss slowed down and became gentler courtesy of Robert. As if he was slowing down the speed of a car, trying his hardest to cushion the impending crash.

_The crash being the kiss becoming that bit deeper and him falling like mad for Aaron._

Robert pulled away first as he felt Aaron kiss him once more softly on the lips, a parting kiss he thought. He was looking at Aaron but Aaron couldn't quite work out his expression, he didn't look angry but he didn't look how Aaron felt. He didn't look overwhelmed with desire or passion, but not complete disgust. He just seemed somewhat emotionless and that was even worse.

Robert suddenly placed a finger through Aaron's hair, it was curly and still wet. He couldn't bare to walk away like he had done the night before. It was too painful. He couldn't look Aaron in the eye though, not when he knew he was staring at him like that. As if he was falling for him. He couldn't, Aaron couldn't do that. He couldn't look at him like that at all, it was too tempting, he was too tempting.

Robert panted still trying to calm himself down and forget about how he felt when Aaron had brushed his lips against his so tenderly. He obviously couldn't. No one had ever been so open with him before, so ready to embrace with him, so forward and willing like that.Robert was used to a chase, catching someone's attention and holding onto them until he had enough, until he had felt them and seen them for what they were and he had decided he didn't want them. That was Robert. Not this, not this confused person who found himself backing away from kisses that meant something and ignoring how badly he loved the way someone so freely showed their affection.

"Reckon you need a bath." Robert whispered trying his hardest to change the subject.

Aaron nodded his head slowly and looked away. He felt himself blushing and instantly he was embarrassed by the comment, as if Robert was his dad trying to look after him.

As if they hadn't just kissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading you lovely people ;)


	16. The value of thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get even closer and Aaron reels from the familiar sting of rejection...

Aaron followed Robert into the bathroom, wincing as Robert flicked on the light that began to sting his eyes. Robert turned the tap on and attempted to look away from Aaron but he failed, he could see him slowly taking off his hoddie and tossing it in the floor quickly, then he stopped.

Robert cleared his throat before shaking his head and realising that Aaron was right to be slightly shy in front of Robert despite what they did the night befor, they hardly knew each other that way.

"Sorry...I'll leave ya to it." Robert mumbled before walking towards the door.

Aaron bit his lip before suddenly feeling a sharp pain shoot across his front. The entire day was filled with a dull ache still from the intake of drugs but it hadn't been this bad. It had stopped completely when Robert had come back but now as Robert was leaving again, it was starting up once more. It was making him feel dizzy with fear, wondering exactly how much longer he could take it all.

Robert suddenly felt the atmosphere in the room change and turned towards Aaron who was clutching at his side and panting.

"Here...let me..." Robert whispered as he walked towards Aaron and felt himself suddenly get nervous again. He was back to last night, back to stripping Aaron off and helping him get into his spare clothes.

The thought made him feel scared and he didn't know why.

Aaron shuddered slightly as he heard Robert's soothing voice, he was suddenly letting go and placing his hands down on his side. Robert smiled reassuringly and pulled Aaron's top up over his chest, then stared at him for a second. How hadn't he noticed the scars before? They were faint but visible and he couldn't help but look at them and wonder what story was behind each one.

Aaron blushed as he saw Robert looking at them with, suddenly anxious about how he would react. He was thankful when Robert said nothing and decided to unbuckle Aaron's belt slowly and pull his jeans down. The bath was hot by then and Robert suddenly felt in the way, Aaron looked tired and worn down again and Robert blamed it on the crying, but he needed some sort of privacy.

"I'll be...just outside if you need me..." Robert said as he walked towards the door and left Aaron to get himself ready for his bath.

 

* * *

 

A few minutes went by and Robert foolishly attempted to flick throwing the channels as if they would distract him from the sound of Aaron in his bath, Aaron naked in his bath. Shit the thought was making him stir in all the right places. _Well all the wrong places considering the circumstances._

"Aaron." Robert called out after a few seconds of sheer silence, no sound of splashing water or any movement at all.

It wasn't fear that made Robert walk towards the bathroom door, but it was something along the lines of that.

He knocked slowly before entering and looking towards the bath. Aaron was slouched backwards, his head inches from the overflowing water and he looked completely spaced out. Robert raced towards the tap, turning it off and pressing a hand on the back of Aaron's head slowly lifting him up. Aaron shook his head with a start and looked across at Robert who was holding onto him with the same panic in his eyes as before.

"Are you okay?" Aaron asked as he looked at Robert who was looking at him with worry firm in his expression.

"Me? Are...are you alright?" Robert asked before crouching down besides Aaron, "You were just lying there...you left the water on."

Aaron stared wide eyed, he had felt odd as he was laying in the bath. Like he wasn't himself as though he was floating on a cloud and the water was the sea beneath him. He felt high if anything.

"Shit sorry...I'll clean up any mess." Aaron mumbled suddenly embarrassed again and wanting Robert to leave him to it, "You can go."

Robert stayed. Looking at Aaron Robert felt himself completely unable to brush off what he had walked into, Aaron seemed so distant, so cut off from the world and it had scared him.

"No...no I'll stay here...do you want me to..." Robert whispered before finally letting his eyes wonder to his naked sight. He couldn't see everything and suddenly he found himself damning the amount of soap suds he had created when adding more and more lava to the clear water. 

Aaron blushed again and couldn't find the right words to tell him to go again.

   
"Fine..." he whispered causing Robert to look at him again, "But can you let go of my head now?" He continued as Robert instantly pulled his hand away not realising that he hadn't let go since he had held his head up for support when he came in.

Aaron felt another pain in his stomach and jerked away as it rippled through him. Robert reached out to steady him and suddenly picked up a smooth sponge, coating it in gel and rubbing it over Aaron's stomach.

Aaron looked away from Robert, not wanting him to see how badly he wanted him, it was somewhat embarrassing

"Is that okay?" Robert asked as he moved the sponge around in a circular motion and tried to soothe Aaron's pain.

Aaron shuddered, "Yeah...it's still hurting but...carry on I can't-" he said quickly before wincing as he realised that the feeling was making his head roll back lazily, he was seriously weak now. Not even strong enough to hold a sponge and wash himself like a normal functioning twenty four year old.

Robert nodded his head before shuffling slowly and making his way up to Aaron's chest, purposefully being quick and scrubbing and not wanting Aaron to think he was lurking by his scars. Then he moved towards his back, causing Aaron to sit forward as he rubbed it softly.

"You shouldn't have to do this..." Aaron mumbled through the pain making Robert smile.

He hadn't been this needed since her, since someone needed him with all their heart. A flashback entered his mind, years ago sitting in a different bathroom but doing the same thing. Smiling and giggling as he rubbed her back and she smiled and said thank you just like Aaron had.

Robert coughed, clearing his mind.

"Don't worry... I don't mind." Robert whispered before gently squeezing Aaron's shoulders and pushing him back.

Aaron was blushing again as he was met with Robert's eyes, so filled with kindness and the want to help. He couldn't help but feel useless.

"I can't even fucking wash myself!" Aaron spat angrily before sighing. Robert dropped his hand into the bath and searched to find Aaron's, he quickly caught his and gently squeezed at it.

Aaron felt a surge of energy rush through him and for a second he found his eyes wondering again, wondering down to his lips but then he shot a look up and saw his worried looking face - worried for him.

"Shit sorry." Aaron mumbled feeling like a idiot for blurting out his anger when it wasn't necessary.

"Don't be." Robert mumbled before finding the sponge again and washing Aaron's legs and feet. The strokes were long and soft and Aaron couldn't help but blush by the intimacy of it all, the way Robert's face would be inches from his as he rubbed down and then up his leg over and over again. He was so gentle.

Then it was happening again. Aaron was closing his eyes and leaning in and he was pressing his lips against Robert's. Aaron could feel a rush race through him as he felt Robert hold onto him, steadying him and not pushing or pulling away. _Again_. He was letting it happen.

Robert couldn't believe it was happening again. He was in heaven and then hell as he thought about what would happen if they continued doing this. Just kissing and giving more and more bits of themselves to each other. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Robert felt his heart ache as he pictured Aaron giving him _that_ look again, the one that said ' _I think I'm falling for you Robert'._

The one he couldn't see.

He loved the feeling of Aaron's lips, soft and innocent - he could tell they hadn't graced another's...not for a long time and he couldn't help but feel special. But he shouldn't have...this was Livesy. Livesy. Not Aaron, not this innocent blue eyed boy who was down on his luck. He was Livesy. The thought pulled Robert away, again he was breaking away from a kiss Aaron had given him and again he couldn't ignore the voice in his head screaming ** _'Are you mad!'_**

"Aaron no," Robert said more bluntly than he wanted it to sound. Aaron stared at him and felt sick with embarrassment, _why did he keep doing it?_

"I-" Aaron whispered not thinking of anything else to actually say.

"You...you can't keep doing that..." Robert whispered before shaking his head and not daring to look Aaron in the eye, scared he would read him easily and know he actually wanted to say:  _Aaron never stop doing just that._

Aaron felt himself grow bright red, suddenly angry and embarrassed and upset that he seemed to be getting chastised for kissing Robert as if he was getting nothing back. As if Robert was repulsed by the idea and wasn't happily letting him press his lips agains his.

"You weren't complaining...last night....or in the living room...or just now." Aaron spat back letting Robert know he was hurt.

Robert shook his head not knowing what to say, he was completely right but he couldn't let him believe that.

"Listen Aaron. Last night...we both needed each other...and it resulted in that happening between us..." Robert said before looking away and feeling like an idiot because he kept referring to Aaron giving him the best blow job of his life to ' _that_ '. "But that was last night, it's forgotten...there's nothing more to say...you don't need to feel guilty like I said but I can't keep-"

"Keep what?" Aaron asked suddenly making Robert hesitate to reply, "Look I get it alright, no worries...I get the message." He added more sternly this time and realising that he didn't want to hear Robert practically tell him he didn't want to ' _keep kissing him'._

However confusing it all seemed, that point was crystal in Aaron's mind. Robert would accept Aaron's kisses but he would never encourage or initiate. He must have been lacking in the whole intimacy department which is why he never pulled away quickly in the moment, but not so desperate as to initiate any moments between them. _Jesus he had standards_ Aaron thought to himself.

Robert relaxed slightly not knowing how to feel. Aaron now was under the impression that he somehow didn't want his kisses and it was untrue. But at least they wouldn't kiss anymore, that was good. Right? He wouldn't have that temptation.

"I don't want to sound like a dick...shit Aaron -" Robert blurted out as he saw Aaron start to turn away from him and look down into the water.

 Aaron nodded his head slowly and tried to cover up his feelings by using the words he had said that morning about thanking Robert. It had somehow made Robert question if that was all he was doing it for, as if he had been offended if it was just to 'thank him'

Robert bit down on his lip, "You don't need to kiss me...to thank me Aaron." He whispered trying to add light to the air "Maybe just say the words." He added a wink and Aaron was smiling. Really smiling for the first time.

Robert reached for a small basin and turned the tap on again, letting hot water fill it and then pouring it over Aaron's body so he could remove the soap suds. Aaron felt a tingle race through him as he felt refreshed and clean. Robert smiled to himself as he saw the soap suds vanish, he was finally seeing all of Aaron and well he wasn't disappointed in the slightest as his eyes reached his cock.

Robert instantly felt like a perve as he saw Aaron's face scrunched up in pain and his eyes closed.

Robert held out his hand and suddenly reached for Aaron, carefully lifting him up and making him sit on the side of the bath, naked.

Aaron felt shy, completely. But his tired eyes and lasting pain was making him feel delirious and unaware. Robert went to grab a towel and gently pressed it against Aaron's skin, drying his wet skin and patting him down. His hair was wet and so Robert attempted to dry that too, his curls thick and getting in the way.

"I know you don't want to talk about it..." Robert whispered and suddenly Aaron opened his eyes wide "but I went to see the drug dealer."

Aaron frowned, "Why?"

"I was angry that he had snitched and I just wanted to see him to find out what he had given you." Robert said suddenly sound very protective as he watched Aaron looking at him.

Aaron shifted slightly as he gestured for Robert to pass him his grey jumper, "What did he say?" he asked nervous about what the answer would be.

"Said he gave you a lot, the heavy stuff...mixed with shit." Robert sighed before passing Aaron the jumper and contemplating whether or not to tell Aaron what was in the substance. Aaron pulled the jumper on and then swiftly pulled his pants and joggers on as Robert looked towards the floor and thought about what to say.

"It has done stuff to your system Aaron. But it should be okay...I got you some stuff from the pharmacy. Some tablets to take." Robert said as he let the water race down the drain in the bath, the sound making the atmosphere seem lighter.

Aaron flickered his eyes and smiled at Robert causing him to frown.

"What?" Robert asked.

"You didn't have to buy anything for me..." Aaron whispered, "No one has ever...cared like that." He added shyly not really wanting to dwell on what he had said.

Robert gulped hard suddenly feeling the need to ask him more. It would ultimately lead to that conversation, the one where he would tell him all about how he ended up in his position but it wasn't for tonight.

"Yeah well...it's on the kitchen table so you can take it before you go to sleep." Robert said sounding very mater of fact compared to Aaron's dreamy soft voice.

Aaron nodded his head realising what Robert was trying to do, he was trying to build a barrier.

Aaron rose to his feet and found himself nearly falling as he tripped over the wet floor and his crumpled towel. Robert pushed his arm out and caught Aaron swiftly, their faces were inches apart and Robert was staring into Aaron's eyes. So soft and blue and beautiful. He could hear his heartbeat as he rested a hand on his chest and nearly caved, he nearly just let go and launched himself at Aaron but surprisingly Aaron stopped him with two simple words that had come back to haunt him.

"Thank you." Aaron whispered as he leaned into Robert and then pulled away just as quick, he wanted nothing more to kiss him as a way of thanking him but obviously that wasn't what Robert wanted at all. He didn't want his kisses. "Night Robert." He added softly.

Robert nodded his head as he felt the weight of Aaron leave his chest and walk back towards the living room. Damned by his own words, he couldn't deny the empty feeling sneak up inside him again. He had told Aaron to say the words and not show his thanks and now he couldn't help but feel like an idiot. Robert cleared his throat before rubbing a hand through his hair and switching off the light of the bathrrom. He knew instantly that he would retire to his room for the night, he couldn't sit with Aaron and make out as if everything was okay.

Robert peered into the living room and saw Aaron laying across the sofa with the tv shining on him, he was still awake and Robert smiled as he realised he had taken the tablets he had bought for him.

Robert walked into his room and rested his head on his pillows, he couldn't believe someone had kissed him, actually initiated a kiss, the same person, twice in one day, twice. And a good looking boy as well, a really good fine as hell blue eyed boy who yes had his issues but was still open to someone like that.

And what had he done, backed off! Pulled and pushed away and at one point actually uttered the words ' _Aaron no_ '. In the moment it seemed ridiculous, it still did now but he couldn't deny that the thought of him kissing ' **Livesy** ' made it all seem wrong.

Livesy was the man he was investigating, Aaron was the blue eyed boy who just needed help. They were almost separate beings until a part in Robert's brain allowed him to realise they weren't and it usually happened when they were embracing, when he could feel Aaron's lips touch his tenderly.

Robert bit down on his lip as he thought about how Aaron had been before. He couldn't help but think about how scared Aaron had been when he thought they were coming for him, he was petrified, terrified by the very thought. Then how spaced out Aaron have been in that bath, how he seemed completely in a world of his own as if he was used to the silence and the complete loneliness of such times. All of it was intriguing, confusing and slightly unsettling.

Robert needed to know why. He needed answers desperately just as much as he needed Aaron. Just as much as he needed Aaron to secretly know he didn't mind his kisses at all, that in fact he welcomed them and deep down although he didn't understand exactly what he felt for Aaron he knew that he cared about him more than Aaron probably knew.

He wouldn't admit that part though, not to Aaron and definitely not to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's such a complicated mess! Thoughts always welcome, thank you for all the kind messages of support <33


	17. Pressure of Persistant Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert starts to unravel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE that I haven't given up on this fic! I've been super duper busy so please bare with me!!

Robert smiled as he woke from his sleep and heard the soft hissing of the kettle and low murmur of the tv in the living room.

 

Then he could hear shuffling, pans against the surfaces banging and he rolled his eyes wondering what in earth Aaron was doing.

  
"Aaron..." Robert whispered excitedly as he got out of bed and walked towards living room, he soon caught sight of Aaron and had to catch his breath.

  
He was standing by the toaster, hair curly and loose and his smile bright and wide. He looked so much better than yesterday and Robert couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes that had faded slightly.

  
"Made you breakfast." Aaron smiled as he held his hands awkwardly. Robert was smiling back at him and he couldn't stop his heart beating the way it was, the way it did whenever Robert seemed to smile at him. Aaron tore his eyes away and looked back towards the counter, pointing to the toast and coffee he had prepared, "You seem like a coffee sort of guy."

  
Robert scoffed, "Do I really?" He laughed.

  
"Definitely." Aaron said back quickly not pulling his stare away from Robert.

  
"Well you definitely like tea...proper strong brew...I remember you said before..." Robert said remembering asking Aaron in the shower a few days ago.

  
Aaron pulled an impressed face, "Quite observant aren't you." He said before moving towards the small table and placing the toast and coffee in front of Robert.

  
Robert slowly sat down before fixing his hair and smiling, "Where's yours?"

  
Aaron placed a hand out and waved it, "Oh don't worry...I'll have something later." He sighed.

  
Robert nodded his head before frowning, "You didn't have to do this..."

  
Aaron sat down slowly opposite Robert and leaned in closer making Robert catch his breath, "Well...I wanted to say thank you didn't I..."

  
Robert shook his head as Aaron pulled back and smirked. It was becoming some sort of joke between them now and Robert didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing, they were making a joke out of the fact that they couldn't kiss.

  
"Have you taken any more of them tablets?" Robert said clearing his throat and changing the subject.

  
Aaron nodded, "Yeah...I'm feeling loads better."

  
"Glad to hear it." Robert said before sipping his coffee and avoiding Aaron's gaze.

  
Robert finished and walked towards the his small case before picking it up. Aaron was standing by the sink just finished washing up and Robert couldn't help but stare. For a second he couldn't help but think, imagine really what it would be like if things were different. If Aaron was his, if he lived with him, made him breakfast every morning, was there to kiss him goodbye and hello each day. But then he replaced it was Livesy he was thinking about, Livesy. And whatever they were doing, trying to be all normal and fine - it wouldn't last, it couldn't.

  
"Er...I got to go..." Robert said after a few minutes and walking towards Aaron.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, "Okay." He said shyly looking at Robert and smiling.

  
"See you later." Robert said not knowing how to leave things, he had walked towards Aaron with purpose and now he was just standing there like an oath.

  
Aaron was first to nod his head and fidget on his feet before looking back towards the sink. Robert coughed slowly and picked up his bag quickly making way from the exit after stupidly squeezing Aaron's shoulder as some sort of lame parting action.

 

* * *

 

Robert frowned as he walked towards his desk and saw that Aiden was looking at him and pulling a face that said: _where were you yesterday?_ Robert instantly remembered how he had basically just left work after being with Liam and he hadn't even given their reaction a second thought, he was just focused on helping Aaron wasn't he.

  
Robert cleared his throat and didn't let it get to him, at the end of the day he was somewhat in charge of the case - his previous successes had given him more credit than his peers and it always worked in his favour.

  
"Oh Robert you're here." Grace said before walking towards him with a few papers. There was no malice in her voice but Robert suddenly felt like he was being judged by his friends, first Aiden and now Grace.

  
"Where else would I be?" Robert snapped before yanking his head up at a startled Grace who was fixing her hair and trying not to show her blush.

  
"Sorry...er sorry Grace that was uncalled for..." Robert said leaning towards her and biting his lip. He was embarrassed that things were getting to him at work, at a place that he used to find as some sort of escape from the loneliness of his home life.

  
"It's fine, I just wanted to tell you that Hadley and Harry's mum has been in touch with us." Grace said softly causing Robert to raise his head.

  
"Does she know where they are?" Robert said before raising his eyebrows.

  
"No, she doesn't..." Grace sighed before looking at the floor and then back at Robert, "But she did add her opinion about how her boys would never do such a thing. Utter shit if you ask me." She blurted out causing Robert to smile, he loved when she was more open and less professional.

  
"Apparently, no contact for the past four years." Aiden added, "Nothing at all."

  
Robert frowned as he wondered why on earth a mother would loose contact with her son's if they had not done anything wrong.

  
Robert chewed his pen, "Did you ask her about Will?"

  
Grace nodded her head, "Apparently she remembers seeing him around when they were kids, she said her boys and him were friends or she thought they were."

  
Robert frowned before peering closer at Grace and gesturing for her to carry on.

  
"She admitted to having a drink problem, said that she used to get blackouts a lot-"

  
"So there's no way she's reliable...probably too off her face to notice who the hell her boys were hanging around with" Robert said before puffing out his chest and smiling, he was happy about it all. Once again things were going his way slightly, he just needed more evidence against the two brothers and things would be even better.

 

Suddenly Robert heard someone let out a small laugh, a chuckle that was now making him squirm, Max was lurking wasn't he. Robert rolled his eyes as he saw him approaching, his hair was slicked and he was carried a few folders that looked two heavy for him. Robert smirked enjoying him struggle.

  
"Grace." Max said softly before looking at Robert, "Hi rocky, fancy another swing at me?" He said slowly trying to rile Robert up.

  
Robert breathed out sharply before shaking his head and simply deciding to ignore him, he wasn't worth the hassle and somehow the thought of Aaron managed to relax him. For the first time since he had known him, the thought of Aaron was a calming influence on his state of mind, not one that created chaos and worry.

  
"Just wondering if any of you had heard anything about Livesy?" Max asked finally. Robert raised his eyebrows and quickly turned towards him, ignoring the pride he had that told him to ignore him entirely.

  
"What do you mean?" Robert spat out making Max smile and look his way, "That witness...Jensen struck it off...thought any other ones might have come forward..."

  
Robert felt his heart rate increase as he looked towards the floor and couldn't resist smiling, Jensen had obviously believed him, listened to what he thought and changed it. Robert looked back up to Max and saw him become agitated as he remembered, suddenly Robert began to chuckle like Max had done before.

  
Max pulled a face, "What?" He snarled.

  
"Did you really think a drug dealer would be a reliable witness mate?" Robert said quickly before looking towards Grace who was hiding her own smile.

  
Max coughed quickly, "Sorry for actually trying to do my job."

  
Robert shook his head before raising to his feet and making Grace feel slightly nervous about what he was going to do.

  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Robert asked staring down Max and feeling that need again to just completely loose it with him. _How dare he question his work?_ That's what Robert told himself, but in reality his anger and sudden change came down to the fact that Max was right. He was doing his job, trying to get Livesy sent down or at least attempting to, and well it was a damn sight more than Robert was doing.

  
Max shifted on his feet, "It means Sugden, you haven't exactly pulled your weight really...like I said before it's like you're determined to get him off the hook."

  
Robert thought for a second and then steadied his breathing, he realised that retaliating like he had done the day before wouldn't work in his favour at all. If anything it would just prove Max right and make all the others suspicious. He hadn't behaved that differently had he? Nothing really bad had happened accept from the press conference that had been pretty bad, he had been making Aaron seem like a victim or so the papers had said. He couldn't cave now, he had to be smart about it more than anything.

  
"See...Max, the thing is mate I'm a very busy bloke, and so I don't really need to waste my time on idiots like you who think entertaining desperate druggies who think they have summat valuable to say." Robert said so calmly that the others were now just staring at him in awe. Max pulled back and went to speak but Robert cut him off quickly.

  
"I have other things to do, we have leads other than Livesy with stronger motives which is what the rest of us our actually working on. But by all means Max knock yourself out wasting your time on unrealistic ideas about Livesy and you're pathetic attempts at trying to make a difference here." Robert continued with a level of ease which made the whole thing seem almost practised.

  
Robert turned his back on Max and shook his head at the others who were smiling and trying to hold back their laughter.

  
Max was turning bright red now overwhelmed with embarrassment, "Well...well I'll do that! I'll prove to all of you lot that Livesy is more involved than you all think...he's got something to hide why else would he be on the run!"

  
Robert felt sick. He didn't want this, he didn't mean to goad Max into thinking he was being noble and just by continuing to search for information about Aaron. Max was stubborn though and Robert foolishly allowed his quick tongue to forget about how Max would react.

  
Aiden looked towards Max and broke the silence, "Mate, no one is saying he is in the clear. We've just got some information about other people we should be focusing on now -"

  
Max scoffed, "You might be all willing to just forget that Livesy is a dangerous thug on the run but I'm not!" He yelled trying to get Robert's attention in particular.

  
Robert kept his cool despite the feeling inside as he replayed the words over and over in his mind. 'Dangerous thug on the run...'

 

_Was that all Aaron was?_

 

An hour went by and Robert found himself thinking about Aaron again. He was just sitting there waiting for an email to send, staring out of his office window thinking about what he was up to.

 

_Was he eating okay? Was he watching crap day time tv? Was he feeling better or worse than before?_

 

Robert shuffled on his chair before smiling as he thought about the next question circling his mind...

 

  
_Was he thinking about me too?_

 

Max had been up and down all day, ringing around and desperately trying to look for more evidence, more information about Aaron and it was starting to make Robert sweat as he heard him from across the office.

  
"I understand Ms Dingle but we have to ask these questions." Max said calmly as he cradled the phone to his ear.

  
Suddenly Robert perked up as he heard who could only be Aaron's mum on the phone. He couldn't make out what she was saying but she sounded distressed and Max didn't seem to care, he was just intent on asking her questions.

  
"So you admit he fell into the wrong crowd?" Max said softly trying to act concerned and failing. Robert could see straight through him.

  
Robert wanted nothing more than to take over. He hated the fact that somehow Max had become in charge of things with Livesy. He couldn't be trusted and his resilience in terms of finding out the truth was something that was making Robert feel nervous. A part of Robert felt angry about his nervousness, knowing that he had Livesy at home and he could easily access the answers to the questions he had. He could easily ease this tension he was feeling and just simply ask Aaron the truth, ask him about his involvement in it all. But then what? If he did and Aaron got defensive the more and more he demanded... _what would happen then?_

Aaron was better now, much better now and he would run wouldn't he? Robert debated with himself as he sat listening to Max jot down more information from Aaron's poor mother. A part of him wondered if Aaron leaving would be better for him, he would be able to focus on work more - yet work surrounding him.

 

_God is was a mess._

 

Grace was first to realise that Max was getting too determined with the phone call and went over to him to ask what was going on. Robert could hear Max tell her about Aaron's trouble with the law and he shuddered as he heard Max go on about the people he used to hang around with.

  
"His family saved him from some drug dealers who reckoned they owned him! He has assault charges against him and by the sounds of it...he was known to the police when he was younger...proper little chav he seems."

  
Robert held back his anger, but it was boiling over the edge and he couldn't stop himself from feeling so ridiculously defensive. He couldn't bare the way Max was talking about him, he couldn't bring himself to actually link Aaron to the man he was describing. He wasn't anything like that, he was gentle and soft and vulnerable. He wasn't violent and volatile. Robert shook his head as his mind reminded him of the fact that he was on the run for setting fire to a garage, the law already had him down as an arsonist. He was already a thug in their eyes wasn't he? Robert couldn't stop that.

  
Robert could hear Grace saying something to Max seemingly telling him that although it was all valid, it had happened a long time ago and they couldn't ignore the thoughts of others who had known him. The fact that he had a strong family unit seemed to work in his favour too he heard Grace say that made Robert relax once more.

  
"Please the Dingles are apparently known for their stints in prison, they practically take it in turns. They're violent and more or less all criminals Grace." Max scoffed before shaking his head and watching Grace agree with him to a certain extent, Robert sighed hard as he could no longer hear Grace adding her thoughts that would shut down his.

 

_There was really nothing to say to that though was there?_

 

Robert couldn't deny the facts and Aaron was known apparently by the police up there, he obviously had a violent steak and just because Robert hadn't properly seen it, didn't mean it wasn't lurking.

Suddenly he thought of Aaron at his home, safe and sound. The thought was somewhat calming amongst the allegations at hand, and the thought of going him and being welcomed by him was almost overwhelming and all he wanted. Robert made his excuses to leave work early, deciding that he would go home and see Aaron and maybe even try to ask some questions.

Robert slammed the apartment door shut and try to hold back his stress that had come home with him from work. Aaron was in the kitchen, dishing out what looked like pasta and completely unaware that Robert had been entered. Robert went to creep up behind him but then pulled back as he realised that Aaron was holding a phone to his ear. Quickly Robert backed away and walked back towards the door, he wanted to hear what Aaron was saying desperately.

  
"Well the thing is...I've sort of...yeah." Aaron mumbled loud enough for Robert to hear.

  
Robert squinted as he breathed quickly and backed towards the door trying hard not to be seen.

  
"Of course I still want it! Aaron yelled before walking towards the bathroom for and back towards the kitchen.

  
Robert suddenly felt his heart race as he wondered what he was talking about. His mind was working over time until he heard Aaron speak again.

  
"Yeah I don't mind waiting...even after last time...yeah...just call me."

  
Robert shifted on his feet and it suddenly dawned on him.

 

_Was Aaron buying more drugs? Was he that stupid?_

  
Aaron ended the call and sighed hard, obviously the call had an effect on him. Then he just went back to the pot he was dishing out and tried to control his breathing. Robert could hear him still recovering from whoever he was talking to on the phone, he couldn't help but feel slightly scolded by the revelation. He had just heard Max convince Grace about who messed up he was, about how he used to be involved with drug dealers when he was younger and despite all that he had still tried to dismiss the facts. He was almost blinded by his affection and the feeling scared him.

  
Robert steadied himself before walking back through the door for the second time and approaching Aaron who had finished dishing up and was now facing Robert with a weak smile spread across his face.

  
Robert bit his lip, "Hi." He said quickly before looking towards the floor, he didn't want to see Aaron's feeble attempt at a smile.

  
"Hi." Aaron said before looking back at the plates he had just filled with pasta "I just tossed some things about in the cupboards and made this" he said before looking back at Robert and trying to sound happy.

  
Robert nodded his head, "Cheers...you didn't have to though. You're not my maid." He said more bluntly than he intended.

  
Aaron noticed but tried to ignore it, picking up the plates and placing them on the table, "I wanted to though. Is that okay?" He said sternly adding to the tension in the room.

  
Robert nodded slowly before hesitating to look at him. He eventually did, meeting his eyes and seeing the slight worry in them. He looked almost desperate to make Robert smile at him, or do anything remotely comforting - yet Robert simply nodded his head again and made his way towards his bedroom.

Aaron bit his lip realising there was something wrong, something had happened and he couldn't help but feel worried and wonder if it was the case. Tentatively Aaron followed Robert into his room, seeing that the door was open and Robert was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. He looked so tortured by his own thoughts and Aaron couldn't help but want to ease his mind.

  
"Robert..." Aaron said slowly as he watched Robert lift his head and stare at him. He wasn't giving him the same look as he did the night before, his eyes weren't soft and loving - they were hard and cold.

  
Robert could hear the softness in Aaron's voice and hated the way it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He was confused, angry and upset about what had happened at work and what he came home to. Aaron had been having a conversation with someone about what seemed like drugs, he couldn't help but wonder if they would have been delivered to his door whilst he was at work. God Robert tried to slow his brain down, realising that he was getting carried away with his thoughts and it was best to just ask Aaron. Something else he had ask.

  
"Are you alright? Has something happend?" Aaron asked as he walked towards Robert and stopped as he got to the bed.

  
Robert breathed in, "Yeah...as it happens. I heard you on the phone."

  
Aaron shifted slightly, "Right..." he said trying to calm himself down and clear his mind. Robert was staring at him and head conscious of what to do or say, he didn't want Robert seeing his slight panic.

  
"What were you on about?" Robert asked quizzing Aaron.

  
"I don't want you to get involved Robert, leave it." Aaron said before pulling himself towards the door and trying to escape the conversation.

  
"I have a right to know Aaron. I have a right to know a lot." Robert said bitterly referring to everything Aaron was hiding from him.

  
Aaron paused and then look back towards Robert suddenly feeling guilty and panicking about it all.

  
"I was speaking to Ezra." Aaron admitted.

  
"About what? Drugs?" Robert said daring to mention it.

  
Aaron frowned before shaking his head, "No...no why would you think-"

  
Robert stood up and walked towards Aaron angry that the idea seemed so random to Aaron when he knew what was like.

  
"Well I dunno maybe because you used to be a dealer yourself." Robert said bitterly before blushing at how quickly the words had messily come out. He seemed so angry and although he was he didn't want that to come across.

  
Aaron backed away suddenly realising how informative Robert's job was. He could easily find out everything about him. For the first time since being with Robert he found his detective side overwhelming all the other qualities about him.

  
"That was ages ago." Aaron said after a few seconds, "Ages Robert."

  
"But taking drugs was the other night." Robert sighed hard before rubbing a hand through his hair.

  
Aaron hesitated, he could see that Robert was stressed and he didn't want to push him into saying anything else cutting or cold, he didn't want to have the picture of Robert in his mind.

  
"I'll leave you alone." Aaron muttered before turning back around again.

  
Robert sighed hard before shaking his head and letting out a desperate laugh, "It's not that simple though is it Aaron 'cos you'll still only be a few feet away and you'll still be in here." Robert said before pointing to his temple and shaking his head again.

  
Aaron looked at him and felt his heart ache, he could see how he was affecting Robert and it was killing him. He looked almost tortured by Aaron and his secrets.

  
Robert felt himself almost overfilling with thoughts as he recalled what he had heard...

_  
"...that Livesy is a dangerous thug on the run"_

_  
"He has assault charges against him."_

_  
"Please the Dingles are apparently known for their stints in prison, they practically take it in turns. They're violent and more or less all criminals."_

  
It was all too much for Robert to think about, he looked at Aaron and saw none of that but he couldn't deny the facts that he heard at work day in day out that proved he was all the things he feared he was. Messed up, angry, violent, unpredictable.

  
"When I'm not with you and I'm at work and it's all about you! About you being a violent thug and capable of-" Robert blurted out before stopping, he couldn't mutter the words killer.

  
Aaron stared wide eyed not even needing to hear it. He knew exactly what he was saying and he understood how badly it all seemed for Robert. He was selfishly just allowing Robert to lie and cheat at his work, hiding this massive secret and even squashing witnesses to protect him.

 

_He was destroying his career wasn't he?_

  
Aaron cleared his throat before speaking, "I needed a passport." He stated referring to his call to Ezra, "I've been waiting for one since I first came here...in a few days I'll get one and I'll be gone."

  
Robert yanked his head up and tried to hid the emotions he was feeling, he was suddenly relived that Aaron was not dealing drugs or taking them but then he now knew that he was leaving. He was getting a passport and obviously jetting off once again.

  
"Where will you go?" Robert asked softly this time and filled with wonder. His heart almost broke as he watched Aaron hesitate to answer debating whether or not to tell him.

  
"It's best if...the less you know the better." Aaron finally said before walking back towards the door.

  
Robert nodded his head hating the fact that the next few days would be filled with unanswered questions in the air. He hated thinking about Aaron disappearing and him having to continue his search for him, all over again.

  
"Your dinners probably cold now." Aaron said softly trying to add some humour to the atmosphere.

  
Robert blinked softly and tried to smile, "I'll be there in a minute." He said causing Aaron to smile. He was obviously trying his hardest to make things okay between them again and Robert didn't have it in him to resist.

 

The night was filled with a weird sense of tension in the air, the feeling was just sitting there almost mocking Robert and Aaron who were trying their best to make things seem light. Robert had offered to wash up the dishes and shook his head in pretend annoyance when Aaron insisted he do it. Aaron had once again used his signature ' _my way of thanking you_ ' that caused them both to blush and laugh. In the moment all there worries had escaped them and again they found themselves feeling somewhat normal with each other as if they were just a normal couple having a laugh about an inside joke.

Then it stopped, the laughter died down and although the rest of the night was filled with comfortable silence as they watched some shitty film and Aaron found himself continuing to blush as his fingers kept brushing pasts Robert's, the atmosphere was still thick with all these unanswered questions and secrecy. Robert couldn't help but look at Aaron and find himself feeling something, something other than worry and uncertainty. It was affection, admiration. Despite this, the image of a violent volatile Livesy was still lurking at the back of his mind desperately wanting to be noticed.

 

Aaron and Robert both went to bed that night feeling the same feelings. Both completely confused by the complexities of each other and the hidden parts of them that they weren't willing to share: Robert's reluctance in Aaron's affection and Aaron's guardedness surrounding his situation. Yet both couldn't deny the other feelings brewing inside, feelings that made them smile when they thought about them being together, or the way their heart almost doubled in size as the other walked into the room.

  
The day's events had left them feeling all this only doubled and the sense of disappointment in themselves wouldn't go away, it was swarming their minds as they shut their eyes and dreamt of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little sidenote: I wrote this chapter quite a while before Aaron decided to change his name Dingle, so as you can see Livesy is still used. The whole case is centered around Livesy and tbh I think I might keep it that way unless I change my mind or a lot of people want me to change my entire work (which would involve a lot of editing) I might just keep it as Livesy.


	18. Voicemails kill relationship.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter says it all really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rubbish with updating and I'm sorry :(

Robert woke with a start the next morning, he had dreamt of Aaron so vividly he felt like being sick when he opened his eyes.

He could see Aaron bloodied and crying over a burnt out car, shaking uncontrollably as two men pinned him against the wall and told him to leave. He could almost smell the smoke that would have polluted Aaron's lungs and he hated how loud the cries were. Robert shook his head as he pulled himself up on his bed and tried to calm himself down.

He didn't want to dream of Aaron, he had never had a nightmare so vivid, so scary - well not until after _her_.

  
Robert thought back to the night before and what Aaron had told him, he was leaving. That was the only thing he actually remembered Aaron saying, he was getting a passport and leaving. Robert remembered feeling instantly more at ease as he realised Aaron wasn't on drugs or supplying them at all, but then just as quick he felt this odd feeling of emptiness as he understood that Aaron would be going. Last night once again Robert found himself dodging the questions he wanted to ask, he desperately wanted answers but at the same time desperately wanted to make Aaron stay.

 

* * *

 

Robert walked towards the living room and looked towards the sofa where Aaron was already sitting up with his head in his hands.

Robert frowned and suddenly questioned why he looked that way, was he alright?

Aaron breathed in slowly unaware that Robert was staring at him by the hallway. He had woken up abruptly and found himself struggling to breathe, as he pulled himself up from the sofa. He had dreamt of fire and smoke and the images wouldn't escape his mind, the memories.

  
Instantly he had felt guilty as he looked around his surroundings and thought back to how Robert had been the day before. Aaron couldn't help but feel upset about just how short and snappy Robert had been, he was almost demanding answers and Aaron felt backed in a corner. But then all he had to do was look at his face, he appeared so desperate, so tortured and stressed out by his thoughts that were surrounding Aaron. 

  
Aaron breathed out slowly as he remembered what Robert had said;  _"It's not that simple though is it Aaron 'cos you'll still only be a few feet away and you'll still be in here."_ Robert had said before pointing to his temple and shaking his head.

 

Suddenly the sound of footsteps approaching him made Aaron yank his head up, his eyes met Robert's and he looked away again. He didn't want to upset Robert anymore.

  
"Hi." Robert said before clearing his throat and sitting on the table so he could see Aaron better.

  
Aaron shuffled and bit his lip as he realised that he couldn't just simply ignore Robert, "Hi...you alright?" he said back before looking away again.

  
Robert instantly knew that something was wrong and he couldn't help but try to fix it. He knew he had been a bit blunt yesterday before they had somehow managed to smooth things over but obviously Aaron was still thinking about it.

  
"Aaron...look at me..." Robert whispered causing Aaron to stare at him nervously, "I'm sorry about what I said last night..."

  
Aaron frowned wondering why he was the one apologising, it was Aaron who had made him in that state in the first place.

  
"Wait what?" Aaron said confused by Robert's words.

  
Robert gulped, "About quizzing you and...and bringing up stuff you didn't want to talk about. I'm sorry alright." He said still staring at Aaron and feeling anxious about how he would take it.

  
Aaron smiled softly not quite believing how kind Robert was.

  
"I...I'm the one who should be saying sorry Robert..." Aaron said before sighing.

  
Robert frowned before gesturing for Aaron to continue.

  
"I've been so selfish, I didn't even think about....about how all this would have effected you. You were so stressed out yesterday and you were right...you deserve answers." Robert looked towards Aaron and raised his eyebrows, "I...I just didn't want to get you more and more involved, which is why I didn't tell you about Ezra...look Robert I'm just sorry that I was the reason you were in that state yesterday. You shouldn't have to deal with all this." He said quickly before looking away from Robert and feeling stupid.

  
Robert bit his lip and felt himself almost falling...falling towards Aaron and finding it hard to stop.

  
"Aaron...it's my...my decision to help, not yours...please don't feel guilty." Robert whispered before grasping onto Aaron's hand and seeing the tears in his eyes. His heart was breaking for him once again and before he knew it he was moving further towards him and wrapping his arms around him tightly.

  
Aaron wasn't fond on hugging but as soon as he felt Robert wrap his arms around him, he felt himself completely melt into the older man. The feeling was instant and unbelievably warm and almost familiar between the two men.

  
In that moment it felt as if everything was disappearing in between them both, they were holding onto each other and sharing this deep connection that neither of them had ever felt before.

  
"It's going to be okay." Robert whispered into Aaron's ear as he pulled away and suddenly realised that he couldn't be this physically close to Aaron, not when it made him feel the way it did.

  
Aaron smiled weakly as he heard the sincerity in Robert's voice. He meant every word and Aaron believed it. It scared him, just how much he believed him.

Robert managed to pull himself away from Aaron and go get ready for work. As he got dressed he almost instantly decided that he couldn't come home in that snappy state again, he couldn't just let his frustration out on Aaron because he knew Aaron was too much of a good person to just ignore his stress and bad mood. He would blame himself and he would leave.

The thought made Robert feel sick with fear for Aaron. No, he had to bottle up his feelings, he had to simply suppress his stress and worry and confusion until Aaron was ready to share his problems, if he was ever to share them.

 

* * *

 

 Aaron was making coffee for Robert when he walked towards the room smiling at him. It was odd for him to think about how quick the pair of them could go from being somewhat emotional wrecks to normal functional adults.

  
Robert stood by the door simply staring and smiling at Aaron like an idiot.

  
"What?" Aaron said before smiling and passing Robert his coffee.

  
Robert shook his head and sipped his coffee before playing with his collar, "I'm just thinking..." he whispered making Aaron blush for a reason he couldn't explain. He had been smiling at Aaron and now he was thinking...was it about him?

  
"It's good to see you smile." Robert said quickly making Aaron smile even wider.

  
"Yeah well...some bloke told me to do it more, thought he was proper wise..." Aaron said cheekily, thinking back to when Robert had told him to smile more before he left for the first time.

  
"Oh I reckon he was...probably a bit fit an all." Robert said back causing Aaron to roll his eyes. He wasn't denying anything.

  
"Listen I was thinking...I could bring home a takeaway if you fancy...I mean dinner last night was great but I just thought -"

  
"Sounds great." Aaron said quicker and more eager than he realised.

 

Robert and Aaron sat together at the breakfast table as Aaron ate some toast and Robert sipped at his coffee, mindless chatter filled the air and both of them dared to think that things were just normal between them. As if they were two normal people having breakfast together without any worries or cares in the world.

  
Aaron suddenly pushed forward and pulled a face that told Robert he was in pain again.

  
"Are...are you okay?" Robert said leaning forward and thinking straight back to the drugs that had nearly destroyed Aaron's body.

  
"Yeah...it's me back...it's playing up." Aaron said before shifting on his seat.

  
"Yeah 'cos you've been on that blooming sofa for the past few nights!" Robert stated before sighing and seeing Aaron pull another face.

  
"Listen...there's the small little box room you could sleep in..." Robert said before trailing off and thinking about how cluttered it was. It was filled with boxes, memories of his old life that he hadn't let go yet.

  
Aaron raised his eyebrows, "Really?" He said before smiling, "Isn't there a lot of -"

  
"Yeah but I mean...I could sort it out for you." Robert said simply before looking at the clock and raising to his feet. He was going to be late if he stayed a minute longer.

  
Aaron smiled again touched that Robert would do that for him.

  
"You don't have to -"

  
Robert ran to get his bag and then gulped the rest of his coffee before picking up his keys.

  
"I want to." Robert said quickly.

  
Aaron smiled softly, "I could make a start today if -"

  
Robert suddenly stopped. His eyes were wide and alert and he shook his head. He didn't want Aaron to see those things, they were private. His family hadn't even seem half of the possessions and a part of him didn't want to make Aaron wary of him all of a sudden.

  
"No no it's fine I'll sort it." Robert said softly before suddenly kissing Aaron's cheek and racing out the door calling out a goodbye before racing to the end of the street.

 

* * *

 

 It was only when he turned the corner did Robert actually realise what he had done. He hadn't even thought about kissing Aaron's cheek, the normal breakfast chatter had made things so normal for him that a kiss goodbye just seemed fitting.

Robert smiled like an idiot as he walked to work with a spring in his step for the first time in years whilst Aaron still in shock stood by the sink, his heart still fluttering as he rested a hand on his cheek and had no thoughts about letting it go anytime soon.

Robert's good mood didn't go unnoticed by Liam, Aiden or Loui who were pulling odd faces when they saw his stupid grin. Robert instantly realised and tried his hardest to squash down his feelings with a cough and a quick route to his seat without any one really saying anything to him. The odd looks told him enough.

The morning was a slow one. Mostly filing away papers and making the most of the quietness in the office. Robert decided to focus his attention on the brothers they were looking for, it was the only thing that took his mind away from all the talk about Livesy.

After an hour Robert suddenly perked up as he saw that Harry had used his credit card two weeks ago, somewhere in Germany. It would take a while to figure out exactly where considering the distance but it was progress nonetheless and it would help them.

  
"Aiden, Harry used his credit card two weeks in Germany!" Robert shouted across the office floor causing Liam to look.

  
"Germany?" Aiden frowned before looking at Liam, "That's a bit random."

  
"Tell me about it." Robert sighed before letting out a small laugh, "I'll look into it."

  
Grace suddenly walked through the office, her face was red and flushed and she was biting her lips nervously as she approached them. Robert frowned at her wondering what was wrong but he decided to give her some time to gather her thoughts and continued talking to Liam and Aiden.

  
"I think it was a bank he went into...says he took out some money but I don't know how much exactly." Robert whispered before leaning over his laptop and back again.

  
"What's that?" Grace asked softly.

  
"Harry Jay...he has...taken money out of some German bank two weeks ago." Robert said slowly.

  
Grace nodded her head before looking over her shoulder to Jensen's office where Max was standing, he was waving his arms about and he looked angry, almost frustrated by what Jensen was telling him.

  
Robert frowned, "What is that all about?" He asked looking confused by it all.

  
"Max, he's in trouble." Grace sighed before sitting down opposite the boys "I just walked in on Jensen shouting at him, he was going mad about Max taking things too far with Livesy's mum..."

  
Robert suddenly perked up. Livesy's mum? Aaron's mum. He allowed himself to think about her, and how she would have been feeling and he felt sorry for her.

  
"What did he do exactly?" Aiden asked, Robert bit his lip thankful that someone was asking the questions he was still too confused to answer.

  
Grace leant forward, "Apparently he was ringing her up all the time, asking her all these questions as if she was on trail...she's complained about it." 

  
Robert felt himself getting angry at max once again, he always managed to take things too far and now they would all look bad because of him.

  
"What an idiot." Liam sighed hard, "Who did she actually complain about?"

  
"Us as a whole. She pointed out him but...look we're after her son so she didn't have any qualms about making us look bad as a whole." Grace added before turning to Robert, "She wanted to have a word with you but...Jensen got there first."

  
Robert felt himself become flushed by the idea of speaking to Aaron's mum, what would he say? He was probably feel overwhelmed with guilt as he heard her tell him all about the constant calls when she had no idea where her son was either. He probably wouldn't even be able to hold it together.

  
"Well shit this is great..." Aiden sighed before rolling his head back.

  
Suddenly the sound of Jensen's office bursting open filled the air and out walked a sheepish looking Max followed by Jensen who's face was flushed and blotchy.

  
"Sugden." Jensen called out as Max walked towards his desk.

  
Robert rose from his feet and walked towards Jesnen as the others looked around and then towards Max.

  
"Sir..." Robert said quickly as the others tried to talk amongst themselves. Jensen sighed hard and Robert could see his anger boiling over and suddenly he had to hold back his laughter - it was all more amusing than it should have been.

  
"You know what...you all have the right to know..." Jensen said quickly before addressing the others too, "Max here has landed us in hot water with Ms Dingle, Mr Livesy's mother. So I'm asking you all to be a lot more careful about the way you go about interviewing relatives and friends...we don't want to cause anymore friction...we need all their help." Jensen said calmly and obviously trying to control his breathing.

  
Robert nodded his head before looking over at Max who was bright red and furiously working at his desk as if trying to ignore it all. It wasn't working and Robert could literally see his squirm from the looks he was getting, it was worth it though - Jensen obviously didn't trust Max anymore so his fixation on Livesy would soon be forgotten.

 

* * *

 

 Aaron was completely bored stiffless. He couldn't help but feel almost trapped inside four walls, he was safe that he knew, but the thought of walking through the door and breathing in fresh cool air was something he craved. The thought of Robert held him back though, it was funny when he thought about it really - not the thought of getting caught and ending up in a prison cell. The thought of upsetting Robert was first to enter his mind, first to make him forget about the idea and block it out.

Aaron was still almost high from Robert's soft kiss, so sweet and tender and somehow the way it felt like nothing out of the ordinary. Aaron didn't know how to really explain the feeling but it almost felt familiar, just like Robert's hug before. It all seemed so normal as if a goodbye kiss was just bound to happen between them.

  
The day passed by and Aaron was growing more and more restless. He had foolishly sat through three episodes of some lame detective drama that ultimately reminded him of Robert and what he was doing now. Obviously it probably wouldn't be as dramatic as the show made it seem but it was enough to make his mind wonder. After he had swallowed down a rather bland bowl of soup courtesy of Robert of course Aaron suddenly thought about the spare room he would soon be sleeping in. He had only caught a glimpse of the room, once or twice whilst coming in and out of the shower but it was enough to make his eyes appear wide with shock.

 

There was so much clutter in there. Robert didn't seem the sort to be sentimental with things and the rest of the apartment looked very much clean and well put together with no room for tat, but was that because everything lurked in that small box room?

  
Aaron soon found himself walking towards the room, suddenly brushing his fingers across the door knob and pushing the door open so he could see inside better. Aaron blinked softly as his eyes scanned the room and fell upon piles of papers, boxes some marked some not and mountains of manuals and photo albums. For a minute Aaron allowed himself to think about whose clutter it could have been, Robert had mentioned family but they didn't live close enough to dump their stuff on Robert. Aaron suddenly drifted his eyes onto the bed in the corner of the room nearly all covered in piles of papers.

 

Aaron was still by the door debating whether or not to make a start on it all. He suddenly remembered what Robert had told him that morning about him sorting it out himself and he backed away. Then his mind raced back to last night and how stressed out Robert was because of him, he just wanted to help not make things worse and the thought of Robert having to declutter a whole room after work seemed unfair. Clearing out some things and piling up certain papers so Robert could sort them out easier was the least he could do.

 

Half way through the third pile of papers Aaron suddenly regretted his decision. He was tired and sneezy because of all the dust that filled the folders of documents that Aaron hardly looked at. When he did though he saw Robert's name printed over and over again, some read congratulations and Aaron assumed it was about his job. He had a plan, all the papers were piled together and then the out of date manuals and the boxes sealed shut that were heavier than Aaron had realised. Some boxes had big labels on the front 'Games Console' or 'Radio' that made things clear for Aaron but others had nothing written on them accept the sticker of a small blue bear at the corner next to the letter BC. Aaron simply frowned as the boxes become more and more obvious around the room, most of them had the small blue near and Aaron was intrigued by it all.

 

After shifting most of the boxes and piling them up by the window Aaron leant back against the bed that was bigger than he thought now it was removed of all the papers. Suddenly he pulled himself up and frowned as he felt his leg hit against something underneath the bed. A voice in Aaron's head told him to leave it alone but he was too intrigued to simply just walk away. Before he knew it, Aaron felt a hand pull from underneath the bed and he was lifting the large box into the bed so he could see it better. It was black and had a small flower pattern over the front, big letters curly and bold spread across the front reading the word ' _Memories_ '.

 

Aaron hesitated realising that it was probably private, it had nothing to do with him.

 

Aaron sighed hard before pushing his hand out and struggling with the box's weight now he was in an awkward position. Aaron swore loudly as the box tipped over and suddenly the content poured out over the floor, Aaron couldn't rip his eyes away and soon he found himself moving across to the mess he had created and carefully picking up pieces of paper. He first looked at a small card reading _'things will get better...'_ in small curly writing, Aaron frowned before placing it down again and feeling overwhelmed with guilt and concern.

 

What things?

 

His eyes feel towards another card and this one was open reading ' _here for you when you need us...love Vic, Diane and Andy'_ Robert's family. They were somehow involved in it. Aaron picked up another piece of paper this time a police report containing notes and notes of information that Aaron didn't understand, he put it back down swiftly and for a second he tore his eyes away from it all and try to compose himself. His eyes met another object, a small bracelet that made him smile - it obviously wasn't Robert's.

The next thing he saw made his heart skip a beat as he realised that the woman he was staring down at bared a resemblance to the one he had seen in Robert's room near his bed. Her hair soft and long and her eyes fixed to the camera, she was smiling and to her right was a blonde man, less confident and shyly looking towards her. He looked completely besotted. He was Robert.

  
Aaron pushed a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling the need to push all the thoughts out of his mind and simply forget what he saw. It wasn't his place to be looking through things that didn't belong to him. It didn't stop his mind from working over time though as he pushed box away again and tried to work out what was going on. The woman in the picture, Robert knew her well. Very well and he clearly loved her. Maybe she had moved away and that was why he had received those cards.

 

Bad break up?

 

She had ended things and he hadn't moved on?

 

He had questions that he wanted answering but then who was he to demand anything when he hadn't told Robert the whole truth at all.

 

* * *

 

  
Robert left work right on time with a stupid grin on his face because in all honesty he was still pettily high on the fact that Max had got in trouble. As soon as he left the building his thoughts centered right back on Aaron, deciding to take the safe bet on a takeaway and get two pizzas from somewhere he had only visited once or twice.

Walking back towards his apartment, Robert was still thinking about how normal it felt to kiss Aaron the way he did. He was fucking falling but he hadn't crash landed just yet because he was wearing his seatbelt really fucking tight to try and cushion the fall.

  
Suddenly he looked up ahead and saw Liam walking towards him, his eyes were transfixed towards his phone and he hadn't seen Robert yet.

  
Robert stopped dead in his tracks and sighed hard, he didn't really want to have a conversation with Liam right now.

  
Walk backwards Sugden...keep walking back -

  
"Sugden!"

 

_**Shit.** _

  
"Hey Liam." Robert said through gritted teeth.

  
Liam frowned as he looked at Robert, "You got company?" He asked looking at the two pizza boxes in his hand.

  
**_Fuck._ **

  
"Err...no." Robert mumbled nervously, "Just really er hungry...yeah hungry."

  
Liam bite his lip before placing a hand on Robert's shoulder, "Things will get better mate." He sighed before smiling reassuringly at Robert.

  
Robert felt his insides churn. _'Things will get better.'_ Whydid people feel the need to fucking lie?

  
Robert shrugged Liam's arm away and nodded.

  
"Me and you...we need to go out, check out some talent and so what's what. I mean you can look at boys and girls so you're guaranteed to go home with someone." Liam was such an idiot, it actually hurt Robert but he was so fucking used to his stupidness that he hardly even batted an eyelid at his words.

  
"Some day...see you tomorrow." Robert sighed before walking towards his apartment, happy that he had seen stupid Liam who left the topic of why Robert was carrying so much food for himself and started talking about getting him to sleep with people.

 

* * *

 

 Robert pushed the door open eagerly as he was met with Aaron, fluffing cushions and patting down the sofa. God little fucking housewife.

  
"Hey." Robert said as he walked through the door and put the pizzas down on the table.

  
"Hi...how was...you know your day?" Aaron mumbled feeling like an idiot for mentioning work.

  
Robert gulped, "Well the idiot who let the guy who sold you drugs just walk free...got into some shit so-" he said as he rested agasint the sofa and smiled.

  
"What for?" Aaron asked as he joined Robert.

  
Robert suddenly held back realising that it involved Aaron's mum and him hearing about her being harassed was probably not the best thing he could say. So he would lie.

  
"Errr just...being an arse in general." Robert sighed before smiling at Aaron. "What about you? What did you get up to?" He added before looking around the apartment, something seemed different.

  
"Well I...I made a start on that spare room of yours..." Aaron said before pulling a face and wondering if Robert would have a problem.

  
Robert felt his heart race as he thought about Aaron being in that room and looking through those things. Things he hadn't even looked at for a few months, they had just been shut away - closed off like all the other secrets of his past.

 

What did Aaron actually see?

  
Aaron could see Robert's worry and frowned at him, "Is everything okay?"

  
Robert nodded his head before launching up from the sofa and walking towards the spare room. Instantly he could feel the air lighter as he entered, things were sorted out - boxed together and actually looked in order. Robert eyes darted towards the bed and then underneath it, the box was still there seemingly untouched. Robert instantly relaxed as he felt Aaron behind him resting a hand on his shoulder and whispering 'I just wanted to help' in his ear. He was so fucking soothing wasn't he.

Robert turned towards him and sighed hard, he was what he needed, a calming influence on his mess of a life. Robert leaned towards him and kissed the top of his head slowly. Aaron's heart fluttered as he did it, so calm and so soft and tender - his mind was on overdrive as he wondered what Robert was trying to tell him. Fuck he was sick of wondering.

  
"Thank you...you didn't...I mean-" Robert fumbled softly, he couldn't help but feel nervous about it all, about the thought of Aaron finding out something he shouldn't. The thought was worrying - he didn't want Aaron finding out about stuff from his past, he couldn't bare the pity that would follow.

  
Aaron saw the worry in Robert's eyes and shook his head, "I just piled stuff up for you..." he mumbled back causing Robert to nod his head and bit his lip the way he always did when he was relieved - Aaron had noticed.

  
Aaron caught hold of Robert's loose hand and held on until Robert was looking at him square in the eyes.

  
"After everything you've done for me...it's the least I can do. You don't know how grateful I am..."

  
Robert was standing there and looking at Aaron and he felt mind numbingly shit scared about what he was seeing and what he was thinking. He was looking into his beautiful blue eyes and seeing years into the future, years with him and it completely threw him. The feeling wasn't welcome but oh damn it was unwavering. It was making him feel sick with worry because he had sure as hell become a cynical prick over the years after her, he pushed those feelings right back down whenever someone new came along (which of course wasn't too rare) but now for the first time in his life he couldn't ignore them.

He couldn't push them away because he felt like he would simply explode if he didn't just-

It was long and heated and filled with a passion so rare that Robert almost couldn't believe it. He didn't even let Aaron finish whatever crap he was spouting about being grateful for all his help because almost immediately his lips had found Aaron's and he was in heaven. The kiss felt a thousand times better because Robert had initiated it, he had let go and found Aaron and of course Aaron had fell willing into him. Aaron couldn't believe it at all, he was confused and overwhelmed but he was not letting go of Robert. He was feeling all of Robert and dancing around his tongue over and over again.

  
Robert suddenly felt Aaron trail his hands down his front and slide one up his top, he pulled away slightly to quickly causing Aaron to give him a confusing look. He was panting as he looked at Aaron and instantly pulled Aaron closer again, hanging onto his hoddie and twirling the little laces. His mind was racing, he couldn't exactly work out what he was feeling. He felt like a prize prick because he wanted Aaron to go further but he was scared of that commitment and that level of intimacy - scared that if he slept with Aaron then there would be no going back. He would be hook line and fucking sinker in love with a fugitive.

  
"I...don't want to move to fast..." Robert panted shyly hating how pathetic he sounded.

  
Aaron nodded his head quickly and kissed Robert softly, "Of course...go get us some beers and we'll eat this yeah." He whispered after looking at the cardboard pizza boxes.

 

Aaron was happy, really fucking over the moon amazing happy because for once things were good. Robert had kissed him, the same Robert who was always the one to push him away. Aaron had never felt so wanted in his life, and despite the circumstances he couldn't deny that it made him feel great, amazing even.

 

Robert gave him a final look as he graced Aaron's eyes and bit his lip, "Won't be long..." he whispered as he made Aaron almost catch his breath.

 

Aaron smiled back as he saw Robert leave.

  
He was simply standing there in the middle of Robert's apartment feeling more happy than he had ever felt and then it happened.

  
The phone was ringing and Aaron didn't know what to do. A part of him dared to answer it by saying, 'hello Robert's phone, Aaron speaking' but he held back, he hated how he sometimes forgot he was on the fucking run and wanted.

  
'Hey Sugden...tell me that you sorted out that Chas Dingle shit. Max is practically off the case but I need to know she isn't doing him for harassment. Call me when you get this.'

 

Chas? Chas Dingle? Not...no...

 

Aaron's heart was racing as he tried to gather his thoughts correctly. He didn't understand anything anymore, suddenly he was hearing something about his mother - the mother he hadn't seen for years. And from some grumpy sounding man no less. Sugden. He worked with Robert, a colleague, a boss? The thoughts circling his head suddenly made him think differently about everything. About Robert, about what he was doing in his flat, about being on the run. He couldn't trust anyone, it had been his rule since the minute things turned bad but he had trusted Robert so easily, so willingly, and it scared him badly. He had kissed him, wanted even more and he nearly would have....

  
Robert didn't care, the message told him that much. He had hid this...harassment situation from him and Aaron suddenly realised that he couldn't say it was done to protect him from the truth, not like the other day when he was on tv. This was difference, he should have told him, he should have known.

 

* * *

 

 The key twisted and Robert came through the door smiling with cans of larger in his hand, he looked somewhat nervous but....he had that look about him that still made Aaron feel slightly weak and off balance.

  
"Only saw the cheap ones, hope you don't mind." Robert said before looking at Aaron and instantly realising something had happened. He gulped hard as he tentatively approached Aaron and held out a hand. Aaron couldn't look at him, he was nearly in tears and that wasn't good. He brushed Robert's hand away abruptly and made a small noise that told Robert to back away. Robert tried to hide his disappointment, he had left Aaron in a light hazy mood but now he was back to that familiar place again, a desperate sense of loneliness and confusion.

  
"Aaron are you-" Robert said as he watched Aaron shake his head slowly.

  
"I don't want to speak to you right now." Aaron said before darting towards his room and shutting the door tight. He wanted answers but the thought of his own mother being bought into everything made him feel even worse, even guiltier because she was being 'harassed' because of him.

  
Robert bit his lip and hesitated, he didn't understand what had just happened but he wasn't ready to let things stay the way they were. Something had happened, Aaron had closed himself off like Robert did. Robert walked past the phone and saw it flashing, a voicemail.

 

He quickly played it without hesitation, hoping whoever it was could distract him from his thoughts about Aaron.

  
" _Hey Sugden_..." Shit, Jensen what did he want.

 

"... _tell_ _me_ _that_ you _sorted_ _out_ _that_ _Chas_ _Dingle_ _shit._ " Robert's eyes widened as he heard her name.

 

" _Max_ _is_ _practically_ _off_ _the_ _case_ _but_ _I_ _need_ to _know_ _she_ _isn't_ _doing_ _him_ _for_ _harassment_. _Call_ _me_ _when_ _you_ _get_ _this_."

 

Harassment, _Lord_ above. Robert darted back to the machine and deleted the message, then if dawned on him, the time...Aaron had heard it.

 

Aaron could hear the message again. And then it stopping abruptly after the time was told. He was almost exploding with anger as he thought about how laid back the man's voice seemed to be, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.

  
Before he knew it he was up and out and Robert was there right in front of him, standing by his door with a sorry expression on his face one that said 'I'm sorry...try to understand'.

 

Aaron wanted to grip onto him there and then, force his arms around Robert and tell him to forget about it because they had just shared something so intimate, they had been so close and...

 

Reality always seemed to do the trick though and he was angry, he was angry that he had no right to be angry because he was on the run and Robert was doing his job and although he had kept it from him, how could Aaron complain about keeping secrets when he was keeping so many himself and that made him angrier and Robert's expression more sorry. 

 

 _Let_ _me_ _punch_ _that_ _face_ , _then_ kiss _it_ _better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is really IMPORTANT and delves into Aaron's whole past and all the reasonsing behind everything, and the one after that is about Robert's past and the whole 'her' references throughout the fic and who exactly she was, it will explain quite a lot I hope! Basically both of the boys tragic pasts will be explored but patience will be needed because EXAMS!!


	19. Scared but together...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron sighed hard and looked towards Robert. He wanted to know, he deserved to know didn't he. Aaron turned himself to face Robert fully and gripped his hand, 
> 
> "You were right. I did know the boys you mentioned. I knew all about them for a while..."

Aaron brushed past Robert and felt himself grow angry because he had managed to make him ready to talk with just one look.

  
"That's my mum, my mum Robert...why is she involved in this?" Aaron snapped as he tried to calm himself down, the tears had stopped but his face was probably still bright red and messy.

  
Robert gulped hard as he tried to steady himself. This was not what he wanted, not what he expected when he came through the doors - considering how they had left things.

  
"Aaron, it's my job." He didn't mean it to be that sharp, and blunt but it had been. He didn't want to hurt Aaron but he was frustrated himself and his job that managed to ruin things yet again. A job he loved, a job that meant everything to him.

  
Aaron let out an angry sigh, "What? To let my mum be harassed by the likes of you lot!"

  
"You lot?" Robert said bitterly.

  
"Explain to me why my mum was being harassed by..." Aaron tried to remember the name of the man who was on the message "Max?"

  
Robert rolled his eyes, "It's not how it seems, he was just asking her a few questions more than the rest of us-"

  
"That bloke said he was practically off the case, musta been something bad." Aaron bit back making sure he was heard.

  
Robert tried to move forward and calm Aaron down but he held back, he didn't want him to feel overwhelmed and race out the door.

  
"It's sorted now, it's all sorted Aaron." Robert said more soothingly because the panic in Aaron's face reminded him of a few days ago when Aaron was ill and weak.

  
Aaron turned away, he felt himself falling into Robert and he had to stop it.

  
"You weren't gonna tell me where you?"

  
Robert darted his eyes towards the floor. He certainly wasn't planning to.

  
"Why wouldn't you? Why -"

  
"Don't you understand I want to keep that stuff separate!" Robert cut Aaron off and suddenly he was inches from him again, breathing into him and then ripping his eyes away.

  
Aaron understood of course he did, but he was still hurt. His own mother was getting questions thrown at her over and over again, all because of him. He felt sick the more and more he thought about it.

  
"I...still have the right...to know." Aaron sighed, "She's my mum." He added making Robert only more frustrated.

  
Robert was boiling over, he could feel himself getting more and more angry because it was so unfair. All the upset and pain was taking its toll and he could hardly believe that he was feeling all these emotions for...a criminal.

  
"So ya wanna know then?" Robert said bitterly causing Aaron to nod slowly, "Anything else? You wanna know about where the case is going and...and the suspects and...everything. Is that what you really want!" He was shouting, directly in Aaron's face but he didn't mean it. He want to hug him tightly and tell him it was okay but he couldn't because he was still so angry. Not a him though, at himself for allowing any of this to happen. For allowing himself to give and kiss Aaron, why did he?

  
Aaron gulped hard. The thought of knowing how close the police where to finding the truth about his whereabouts made him feel sick but maybe, maybe it would help him realise that he had to act fast.

  
"Yeah go on then!" Aaron shouted back equally as annoyed with himself for raising his voice when he didn't want to.

  
Robert didn't think. He just said it, the names over and over again as he watched Aaron shake his head in...horror?

  
"The Jay brothers eh? Harry? Harley? Ringing any bells here Aaron!"

  
Robert could see Aaron almost trembling, he was walking away and shaking his head and instantly Robert wanted to take back the words and pretend they didn't just blurt out of his mouth.

  
Aaron could almost feel them next to him, he could almost hear their snappy cutting words that made him shudder like mad. Suddenly he felt almost betrayed by how quickly and abruptly Robert had managed to say the words, say the names.

 

_Did he not know the gravity behind it all?_

  
"All these secrets..." Robert sighed harshly before rubbing his face and pulling himself down on the sofa, he was completely drained by it all once again.

  
Aaron twitched almost not quite believing that Robert was using the word 'secret' to describe what Aaron was hiding from him. Suddenly he thought back to the room, the spare room, filled with all personal things that he wouldn't have touched.

 

Things he now classed as 'secrets' that Robert didn't want him to see.

  
Aaron suddenly set his lips as he walked over to Robert, his head held high realising he had nothing to be sorry for, not when Robert was hiding things himself.

  
"Secrets? You'd know all about those wouldn't ya." Aaron snapped before breathing in quickly and looking away.

  
Robert stared up sharply and it was as if he suddenly knew, as if he was just made aware that he was right to feel slightly odd before about Aaron being in that spare room. What had he seen, what had he looked at? He was staring up at Aaron and debating whether or not to ask him. Aaron was darting his eyes away, not wanting to look at him at all.

  
"Would I?" Robert said deciding to play it cool.

  
"I'm just saying, I'm not the only one who wants to keep things to themselves eh?" Aaron whispered back as he looked at Robert steely in the eyes.

  
Robert stared with his mouth slightly open and suddenly Aaron was nodding as if he was almost reading Robert's mind and confirming the damning thoughts. The thoughts that proved he knew something.

  
Robert couldn't breath, his face had turned bright red and he was flushed standing up from his sofa and towards the window. His mind was racing with thoughts as he tried to get over the fact that in some sick sort of way they were somewhat the same. They both had a past that neither of them wanted to uncover.

  
"You...that spare room -" Robert panted as he tried to hide his feelings.

  
"I...saw loads in there, things you didn't say anything about as if you were tryna hide it-" Aaron said slower this time and determined to find out the truth.

  
"Shut up Aaron!" Robert spat still looking out at the view.

  
Aaron thought back to the picture he saw. The woman, the same as the one he had seen briefly in Robert's room. Her hair soft and long and…

  
"She's beautiful." Aaron mumbled not meaning to cause Robert to almost explode with anger. He was turning swiftly on his feet and charging towards Aaron, roughly pulling him by his top and moving him towards the wall. Their faces where inches apart, inches and Aaron could actually see the pain in Robert's eyes. He craved to know why it was there.

  
"I'm done! You...you fucking...looked through all my shit. How dare you? You...you're just that thug they all talk about, going through my things the minute my back was turned." Robert was whispering but loudly, loud enough to make Aaron squint away, he could hear Robert's heartbeat loud and fast. Robert suddenly let go of Aaron and saw him nearly topple to the side, panting in shock. 

"I wanted them to be wrong, but you're just...you're the criminal they all say you are, I can't trust people like you Livesy." Robert was finished, the parting Livesy only twisting the knife in further and making Aaron feel the tears roll. He was falling and this time Robert wasn't catching him, this time Robert was letting go and watching him crash down to earth with a thump.

 

* * *

 

Aaron didn't hang around. He slammed the door to the bathroom shut hard and sat there sobbing like a baby as he clutched his knees and poured his heart out. Everything was going his way less than an hour ago, of course he was still on the run and he was still trapped in London without a passport but, he head Robert. He finally had him and then he was gone again. Work got in the way. Work made Robert the villain once more, the arch enemy and instantly he was forbidden, only reserved for digging comments and hurtful words.

  
Robert could hear him. He could hear every last sob and he was crying with him. Robert Sugden was not a crier in any sense of the word, Grace and Mia always said it was unhealthy. He hadn't cried like that since...since she left, since she was gone. But now Aaron had made him weep and feel all these draining emotions that made him feel terrified and full of nerves.

An hour passed and nothing had changed apart from the fact that instead of Robert crying on the sofa, he was talking on the sofa. He was trying to hold a conversation with Jensen adamant that Robert talked to Ms Dingle. The thought of talking to her made him feel sick, how could he hear her broken voice all the whilst knowing her son was sleeping in his spare room.  
The conversation resulted in an uncertain conclusion. Robert would have to speak to her but maybe via email. He hoped he wouldn't have to hear her voice, _Jesus_ no.

  
Robert was drained once again and suddenly his head rested against a cushion, he was drifting and drifting and...

Robert woke with a start as he looked at his surroundings, it was dark and he assumed it was gone ten. The big windows in his apartment told him that the velvety sky was almost navy and appeared magical amongst the bright stars. Suddenly he wondered where Aaron was, he looked up and saw the bathroom door was now half open and the spare room was firmly shut.

Robert tensed as he wondered if maybe Aaron was still snooping, but he rested back and tried to calm himself down. He had got the message across pretty clearly before when he spat all that nasty shit that made him feel so bad about everything that had happened. He didn't mean it. But then he did. He meant that knowing that Aaron was going through his stuff only proved all the doubters wrong, but he shouldn't have said it in such a way.

Robert hauled himself from his sofa and half shuffled towards his room. He kicked off his trousers and tossed his shirt on the floor beneath him before sliding into the cool sheets. He was drifting again them thinking of Aaron thinking of regret and then back to drifting again. Over and over again until suddenly...

 

"NO NO I DONT WANT TO PLEASE DONT!!!! I...I WONT SAY A WORD!!!"

  
Robert was more than startled, he could hear Aaron screaming out in a way that made him have goosebumps all over his skin. Aaron seemed completely petrified. Robert debated for less than a second, despite what had happened he needed to see if Aaron was okay. He couldn't switch off, he never could.

  
"PLEASE...ILL GO AND LEAVE PLEASE...I WONT TELL ANYONE!!"

  
Robert steadied himself before entering the spare room. He hadn't been in there for years, not properly. The thought send shivers down his spine, he never thought he'd be able to step foot in there again, too many memories, too painful for him to have to relive. But now Aaron needed him and he was in there and...

Aaron was tossing in the bed, turning sharply as he painted a painful expression. He was sweating and his hair was loose with curls that made him look so much younger, so much more innocent.

  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Aaron shouted out again causing Robert to tentatively walk towards him. He debated whether or not to approach him, or just simply leave him to it, let the nightmare he was obviously having pass. Robert backed away and walked back towards the door.

  
"HARRY I SWEAR I WONT TELL ANYONE!"

  
Robert turned round sharply as he heard the distress in Aaron's voice, sheer desperation and he couldn't bare it. Harry. Harry Jay. Robert raced back to the bed and gently lifted Aaron up shaking him lightly until Aaron was slowly opening his eyes, big and blue.

  
"It's okay...it's okay." Robert whispered as he looked at the panic still on Aaron's face.

  
"No...no Harley...Harley made me...I didn't want...help...I wont tell anyone...I'm sorry." Aaron cried out before plunging his head into Robert's chest and causing Robert to fall back into the bed.

  
_Harley. Harley Jones. Aaron knew them, what did they make him do?_

  
A minute passed and Aaron had calmed down, his breathing was back to normal and it seemed as though the gentle feel of Robert's long fingers through his hair had managed to settle him again.

  
"It was just a bad dream...a nightmare...it's over now." Robert whispered into Aaron as he held onto him tightly.

  
Aaron didn't say anything but his silence told Robert that he had relaxed enough not to keep babbling on about the boys.

  
Robert could feel Aaron's breathing again this chest and felt almost overwhelmed with this desperate need to keep them that way, that subtle and innocent. In the middle of the night, a nightmare had bought them right back to the trust, almost melting away the horribleness of their fight before.

  
Aaron sniffed before looking up at Robert.

  
"Feeling better?" Robert whispered causing Aaron to nod and then reach out lovingly for his hand, clutching it and then looking back to Robert's eyes, "Will you stay with me...until I fall asleep?" He asked not baring the thought of being alone with his thoughts.

  
Robert didn't hesitate, he was nodding and climbing down into the covers as Aaron nestled against him, throwing an arm over Robert's chest. They had not been this intimate without something more coming soon. Aaron could wrap his legs round Robert's and hug onto him like a supportive lover and nothing bad would happen. Everything would be okay.

  
Aaron fell asleep into Robert's arms, his head resting on Robert as he finally drifted off. Robert couldn't sleep. He was feeling everything again. Affection, regret, sadness, anger and...being so close to Aaron and almost feeling him that way again...meant lust was well and truly up there. He looked down at the 'criminal' , 'the thug' and 'the waste of space' and saw nothing but a beauty to behold, a tortured soldier wounded and scarred by battles he had fought. He kept staring until his heart began to race wildy. That feeling was there again making him feel tense all over...it was scary, petrifying as he gazed at the man laying in his arms and realised just how fucking far he'd go to protect him.

 

Surely he was crazy.

 

* * *

 

Aaron woke in Robert's arms and instantly wondered why he was there. He was out of breath and struggling to get over the nightmare he has just ripped his mind away from.

  
Aaron was running and he could see Robert in front of him, he was opening up his arms and telling him to come to him. It was like something out of a horror film because the next minute Aaron knew, Robert was gone and the police were handcuffing him and taking him away. He was kicking and screaming and crying and then there was Harry and Harley smiling and hissing at him. It wouldn't stop, none of it was stopping until Aaron was back there again. The look of horror on his face and the pleading telling them he would stay quiet as his eyes met the body.

  
He suddenly opened his eyes and looked around the room, the spare room he noted. Aaron shuffled slightly and then turned to Robert sleeping peacefully, he remembered their fight the night before, the slamming of doors and the tears. He couldn't understand how he had ended up in his arms.

  
Robert softly began to stir and then look towards Aaron. It had been so long since he had felt someone in his arms. Robert looked around the room and gulped, the boxes scattered told him that memories were still there and that they weren't disappearing. He shivered as he imagined how much Aaron know about her, what he had discovered but then Aaron nudged him gently and his eyes were pulled back to him. He stroked Aaron's arms softly as he thought back to the night before, the screams and the pain whatever nightmare Aaron was facing bought on. He remembered the fear and sheer thrill in Aaron's voice that was replaced with a shudder and then a sigh as soon as Robert had held him close.

  
"Hey..." Robert mumbled before resting a hand on Aaron's side, the covers will hiding his boxers but he felt almost completely exposed.

  
"How did -" Aaron frowned and pulled away slightly.

  
Robert sat up and sighed, "Don't you remember last night?" He asked.

  
For a second Aaron wondered if they had - 

  
Robert saw the look on his face and waved a hand out, "You er...you were having a nightmare or summat and I came in...to check on you." He mumbled as Aaron suddenly blushed.

  
"You...you heard the things I said?" Aaron asked suddenly remembering the cries in his sleep, the names...the fucking names and the things he said.

  
Robert gulped quickly, "Yeah... He hadn't forgotten the names either. He had replayed them over and over again as he drifted off.

  
Aaron looked at Robert and felt shy,  
"Why...why did you stay then?" He asked wondering why exactly they were in bed together.

  
Robert remembered Aaron's soft voice and tried his hardest not to smile at the memory, "You asked me to." He said simply making Aaron look away. He hasn't given himself time to think about how good it felt to be needed by Aaron but now he was looking over and seeing just how much he was needed.

  
Aaron suddenly remembered asking sheepish the night before. God he must have sounded desperate.

  
Robert could see the embarrassment in Aaron's face and quickly tried to stop it from growing, "And because...I wanted to...I didn't want to leave." He said after forcing Aaron to look his way as if to make sure he understood.

  
Aaron gulped hard, "Well thanks," he said sheepishly before climbing off the bed.

 

Robert didn't know how to approach the subject, the matter of Aaron and his nightmare the night before. They had travelled towards the living room now and he was sitting opposite Aaron, sipping at the hot mug of coffee he had just made. Aaron was twitching with nerves as he thought about what Robert would say next, and then he was looking at him and he knew he couldn't just ignore things between them.

  
Robert placed a hand out towards Aaron and then a shaky breath, "Listen to me Aaron...we really need to talk." He said slowly.

  
Aaron edged away because he could hear that voice, that voice that told him that he was wanting the truth from him about everything.

  
"Won't you be late for work?" Aaron said almost desperate to come up with any reason.

  
Robert shook his head and gulped. For the first time in probably his entire career, he was purposely taking a day off to be with someone.

  
"That can wait...I'm not going in, you're more important." The last bit slipped out and made Aaron blush, taking even Robert by surprise.

  
Aaron cleared his throat before sighing slowly, "What do ya want me to say Rob?" He was nervous now.

  
Robert shifted on his seat before holding onto Aaron's hand again, "Last night. I heard you saying all sorts, screaming and shouting out the names I mentioned in your sleep, you were panicking Aaron...really scared." He said quietly, replacing it all in his mind and feeling nervous for what was coming next.

  
Aaron bit his lip and nodded his head. He didn't remember it all, but he remembered his dream, his nightmare and that terrified him. He was back there again and it was horribly realistic.

  
"I was. I was terrified." Aaron said without thinking and suddenly Robert was leaning forward and holding onto his shoulder.

  
"Talk to me Aaron...talk to me." Robert said soothingly as Aaron placed his head in his hands and tried his hardest to not fall apart at the seams. He was a wreck.

  
"I can't." Aaron whispered.

  
"Why...why can't you just -"

  
"Because I can't just tell you...you'd hate me and...and I can't...I couldn't fucking bare that..." Aaron was practically weeping and Robert felt helpless as he watched him.

  
He suddenly realised how important Aaron thought he was, how much Aaron actually valued him. It made Robert's heart swell.

  
Robert sighed before deciding to place his hands on his lip and simply try and tell Aaron that it was okay in that way, he didn't want to overwhelm Aaron at all or make him feel like he was on trial by him.

  
"Aaron..." Robert said nervously, he had that scared feeling again because he didn't like the way Aaron was almost certain that Robert would hate him for what he had done.

  
"I could never hate you...trust me...let me help you okay?" Robert said tentatively.

  
"You can't. You can't help me forget." Aaron said before shaking his head and sighing.

  
"Forget what?" Robert whispered realising he was closer to the truth.

  
"What they made me do..." Aaron said the words so quietly that Robert had to strain to hear.

  
Robert felt sick because he had terrible thoughts circling his head about what it meant, what strong men would...could make him do...

  
"Oh my god Aaron...Aaron they didn't make -" the words came out thick and fast and Robert had to stop himself from gripping onto Aaron even harder.

  
Aaron shook his head vigorously, "No...no nothing like that,"

  
Robert gulped hard and sat there a few seconds just gently rubbing Aaron's arm and trying to control his breathing that had sky rocketed because of the thought.

  
"Then what...?" Robert asked after a few more seconds filled with nothing but silence.

  
Aaron sighed hard and looked towards Robert. He wanted to know, he deserved to know didn't he. Aaron turned himself to face Robert fully and gripped his hand, "You were right. I did know the boys you mentioned. I knew all about them for a while..."

  
Robert nodded his head slowly and gulped hard. "Tell me everything Aaron...I'll listen to everything..." Robert placed a hand on Aaron's cheek softly and willed him to carry on.

  
Aaron blew his cheeks up and then began...

 

"It all started after I left Emmerdale, after the garage fire..." Aaron whispered softly, he remembered that night and how scared he was for Adam and Cain.

  
"The one where your uncle...you set fire to...I mean -" Robert didn't mean to interrupt at all but he just had to realise what Aaron was talking about, he just wanted to understand.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I didn't do it. My best mate Adam did, I took the wrap and ran off to France before I was sentenced..."

  
Robert nodded and suddenly felt relieved, Aaron wasn't this crazy arsonist.

  
"Things were fine in France, I got by okay because I had Ed." Robert ears were pricked by words, Ed? He had a...boyfriend in France. Aaron noticed Robert's twitching and smiled, "Ed Roberts this rugby player, I ran off with him." He said it and it sounded so much more romantic than it had been. In reality there had been tears and snot and a red face from crying the whole way there, but it least he could say he had Ed. "We split up after a while, I just upt and left even though he begged me to stay for a bit whilst I sort myself out. I was desperate...desperate for some money and...and this guy I knew...Oliver Day...he worked with us and he was a decent bloke."

 

Ed Roberts

  
Oliver Day

  
Names he would sure search up as soon as he got to work.

  
Aaron sniffed softly "He told me that he knew some guys...brothers Harley and Harry who take apart cars and sell on the parts...we'll steal cars and then...you know what I mean."

  
Robert nodded his head quickly.

  
"It was quick money and he passed my name on to them both. I was grateful, at first I wasn't stealing cars or anything I was just breaking them all apart and selling parts on. I earned a fair share for a while and then...then Harley had this plan to go back here and do the same, he had some big job, connections and this warehouse where all the cars were. I should have said no. I was so fucking stupid but...but I just agreed to go back, I didn't even care about getting caught or about..." Aaron was getting into a state and Robert held onto his hand really tightly.

  
"We went really close to back home...Leeds we were at for most of the time. All these cars were piling up and I just had to break them apart like always." Aaron was moving his hands around to demonstrate and Robert felt his heart break for him.

  
Aaron breathed out slowly preparing himself for the last part, "On the last day...I...we were just finished another car and then...then all of a sudden I was being pushed into a car with Harry and Harley and then...then we were driving somewhere...to someone's house...some man...." He had tears in his eyes and he was gripping Robert even tighter, he just needed to be balanced by him.

  
"Aaron was his name Will...?" Robert was so soft with his words, Aaron nearly melted. It was Will, he was sure of it, God he wouldn't forget the name ever.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly and Robert held his breathe slowly.

  
"Harley said that they will going to be in trouble anyway and that they might as well just...just settle the score before it was too late. Harry said something about...about this Will ruining everything and how much they hated him. They were shouting and and I felt...I just didn't know what to do or say or...." Aaron was in tears now, he was falling apart.

  
"Hey it's okay...it's okay Aaron its okay I'm here." Robert whispered before pulling an arm over Aaron's shoulder.

  
Aaron bit his lip and suddenly kissed Robert's cheek quickly catching Robert by surprise, "I know..."

  
Robert smiled down at him and started stroking his arm, it usually calmed Aaron down. It did.

  
"They told me to stay in the car...just be on look out and I was grateful...I dint want to watch them teach him a lesson. I sat there and then all of a sudden..." Aaron closed his eyes as he remembered, he couldn't look at Robert as he told him, "I heard the man scream and tell them to stop, and then...then Harry said something about them making sure he he knew who was boss or something. I just wanted it to stop, all the noise, and then it did. They had been gone for...for ages and I just wanted to see, I shouldn't have seen...I should have just drove away but...but it wasn't that simple...it wasn't my car, they'd find me..." Aaron crossed his hands together and felt sick.

  
"I was scared...so scared so I just went and then I could see them...I just got out of the car and they were there...standing over him, over Will...and he was...he was just laying there with all this blood."

  
Robert's eyes were wide as he realised what had happened. Aaron, his Aaron had been dragged into this huge mess and now he was guilty, so guilty and alone.

  
Robert pulled Aaron in close and held onto his entire weight, he was pulling him closer and closer and then all of a sudden there was no speaks between them as if they were...one.

  
Aaron cried into Robert's chest like a baby, finally someone knew, someone else could maybe try and understand his hurt.

  
"He was dead and...and they killed him and I...I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry...I was just so scared and I'm so sorry." Aaron cried harder as Robert suddenly felt scared about how badly Aaron was hurting, he was shaking into him over just a memory.

  
"What...Aaron listen to me what did they make you do afterwards?" Robert said softly as Aaron still buried his head into his chest.

  
"They told me to leave, to burn the car and...and then come back to them when it was done."

  
Robert remembered the burnt out car and the woods. He felt sick imagining how terrified Aaron would have been as he watched the flames, inhaled the smoke.

  
"They...they knew I was scared, fuck as soon as I saw them...saw what they had done I was just sick on the floor. They said it was an accident and that they would sort everything but I needed to keep my mouth shut. They...made me burn that car...even though I said I wouldn't tell anyone...I swore I wouldn't. Harley didn't believe me...I tried to fucking run away...I didn't know what else to do but they caught me and...they took my took...took my passport, the one I took to France...the fake one. I was just fucking trapped and..."

  
Robert knew the feeling, he knew what it was like to be trapped and he hated the look on Aaron's face, so desperate.

  
"Where did you go?" Robert asked gently.

  
"I stayed low...really low for a while and they didn't bother looking for me, they had their own shit to deal with. I ended up here...I don't even really know how I got to London...it's all a blur." Aaron said remembering all those nights in cars, strange cars being helped by people and then used by people. He shivered.

  
"That's why I was talking to Ezra...I needed a passport." Aaron mumbled softly before pulling away from Robert, "To get away from here..."

  
Robert bit down on his lip and studied Aaron's expressions, he wasn't crying anymore but he looked completely broken by the story.

  
"Aaron do you have any idea where the brothers are...?" Robert asked softly as he looked at Aaron and gulped hard.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I think they got to Germany..." he whispered softly, "I don't want to think about it."

  
Robert nodded his head slowly, "That's fine." He said with such a gentle voice, "We don't need to talk about anything anymore okay?"

  
Aaron looked at Robert's eyes, big and soft and green. He could have sworn he saw a flash of a feeling, a flash of a word that both of them surely felt yet hadn't said. It made him feel warm inside.

  
"Why are you being nice to me? I covered up someone's murder Robert." Aaron said before shaking his head and pulling away.

  
Robert held onto Aaron and felt that feeling tingle through his veins, "You were...forced into an impossible situation by two bastards with their own sick vendetta..."

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "I'm not innocent in this. I'm a coward."

  
Robert held onto Aaron's chin,  
"Oi...enough of that..." Their faces were inches apart "you're the strongest...bravest man I've ever met"

  
Aaron's heart fluttered like always, "Robert I'm scared," he whispered as he looked at Robert and felt himself falling even deeper, as if there was anymore space to fall. He was suddenly filled with this dread because he hadn't told anyone about what had happened and with such honesty and truth and it made him realise how much he trusted Robert. He trusted him so much it hurt a little bit and made him feel so scared he almost felt like shaking.

  
Robert gently stroked Aaron's face. He understood because he had been that scared last night when he held onto Aaron and he wondered just how far he was prepared to go for Aaron, to protect Aaron, to keep his Aaron safe from the cruelty of the world.

  
"Me too." Robert whispered back before leaning in closer to Aaron.

  
Aaron held onto Robert's hand and they sat like that for an hour or two. They didn't say anything, anything at all until suddenly Aaron looked across to Robert and uttered the words, "Let's be scared together."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Aaron's secret is out, I wanted to make him slightly in the wrong because at the end of the day this is Aaron and he needed to feel this heavy guilt but I hope you all understand the reasonsing behind it all and don't blame Aaron too much. The Jay boys are heavily in Robert's sight now...


	20. All of me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert had tears in his eyes as he sighed softly and then stared at Aaron, shaking slightly as he thought of her, her, her. Savannah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I'm back writing for this fic! So I finally have things sorted for the ending and it's just the case of finding the time to actually write considering I have exams. 
> 
> This chapter is an exact continuation of the last, it might be good to go read the two or three chapters before this one to refresh your memory (considering it's been a while)

Aaron couldn't describe the feeling inside, it was overwhelming. That feeling of warmth and fuzziness as soon as Robert said the word 'together'. It didn't feel like Robert and him were on opposite sides anymore, they were almost connected on a deeper level and facing whatever the world chucked at them _together_.

Robert released the grip of Aaron's hand and walked towards the kitchen area to make himself a drink, the water slipped down his throat and he had to take a minute to gather his thoughts. He felt ridiculously at peace somehow despite the fact that he now carried this weight around with him, he had the knowledge of Aaron's innocence weighing heavily on his mind and he felt sick because he now had to make a decision. He would have to prove Aaron's innocence without any one get suspicious of his behaviour, he bit his lip and thought about Jensen and how angry he would be about Robert trying to do so, he would surely catch onto what was happening. _And then what?_

  
Robert gripped hold of his glass as he heard Aaron shuffle on the sofa. His Aaron he thought, not Livesy. Not this person he was forced to invent, this crazed killer capable of old sorts. He was sure Aaron had a passed, just like anyone else but the thought of people thinking some killer was walking the streets of London still was unsettling to think about.

  
Robert turned around and saw that Aaron was smiling at him nervously as if he was trying hard not to say something.

  
Robert bit his lip, "What?" He whispered softly, the last thing he wanted was for Aaron to shut him away again.

  
Aaron shook his head softly, "I just...you believe what I said right?" There was a sense of nervousness in his voice that made him sound like a little lost boy that Robert just _needed_ to protect from all the horror of the world.

  
Aaron sat and waited for Robert to reply, trying desperately to read his expression and gather what he thought. He was wondering and wondering and become more and more scared that Robert didn't believe a word of what he had confessed.

  
"Of course I do." Robert whispered back before nodding his head and licking his lips.

  
Aaron hesitated, "It's just because you know you just got to your feet and...and I -"

  
"I just needed some water." Robert tried to smile but he knew Aaron knew he was lying, that he wasn't telling him what was on his mind.

  
Aaron titled his head a few hours ago he would have dropped it entirely but now he had told Robert something and he felt this right to know the full truth from Robert all the time.

  
"Don't lie to me, not after..." Aaron insisted suddenly feeling full of energy.

  
Robert sighed softly before running a hand through his hair, "I was just thinking about what to do..." He trailed off as he saw Aaron frowning at him.

  
"About what?" Aaron suddenly gulped, "About me?" He added as he felt himself getting overwhelmed, would Robert want him to leave, "Do you want me to go?"

  
Robert practically raced to Aaron's side and held onto his hand again, stroking his hair and kissing him softly on the head. The thought of Aaron leaving him now made him feel like giving up on everything, everything.

  
"Never..." Robert stared trying to hold back his emotions, Aaron blushed by Robert held onto his face softly, "Never Aaron."

  
Aaron nearly melted. Okay Robert hadn't exactly confessed how he felt but he had just told him he never wanted to leave and that hardly stood for nothing.

  
Robert watched Aaron nod and then moved himself so that he was sitting across from Aaron. Aaron frowned as he looked at him, he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and he felt too guilty to even look his way.

  
"I shouldn't have told you." Aaron shook his head and mumbled.

  
Robert turned towards him sharply, "Why would you say that? Aaron I'm glad you told me, you shouldn't have had to deal with that all on your own." He hated the thought of Aaron being lonely with his secrets.

  
"But now look at you, you're saddled with this now." Aaron moaned before placing a hand to his forehead. Robert was usually just as broken as Aaron when it came to heavy stuff like that, like real life serious issues, ever since _her_. Even before _her_ even. But he couldn't just panic and freak out about how unfair everything was for Aaron, because Aaron needed him. Robert caught his breathe when he looked at him and realised how much strength Aaron's fragile heart gave him.

  
"I'm not _saddled_ with anything Aaron, I want to be here for you...always." Robert kissed him softly on the cheek, it was a shy one covering up the blush on his face.

  
Aaron could have cried but he didn't. 

  
"But now I'm just thinking about how...where I go from here...I need to find them bastards Aaron and I need to make sure they get sent down for this _not_ you." Robert said quickly looking at Aaron with determination laced in his expression. Once again he couldn't believe how strong Aaron made him, now one had ever had that effect.

  
Aaron felt his heart race, "What you mean...clear my name?" He whispered.

  
Robert nodded his head and turned to Robert holding his hand again. He did it when he was being really honest Aaron noted.  
"I really need you to remember anything you can about them alright...if they said anything about where they'd go after, what they did with the body." Robert said as he thought about all the evidence.

  
Aaron frowned softly, "They...they sent me to deal with the car and when I got back the body was gone, nothing was there...they just got rid of him like he was nothing." He felt a lump grow in his throat and he had to look away.

  
Robert rubbed his arm soothingly.

  
"What about a weapon?" He whispered softly making Aaron turn back to him.

  
"Well they probably just dashed it somewhere, anywhere nearby. Maybe it was...was a metal bar or something, I can't be sure." Aaron mumbled as he tried to gather his thoughts.

  
"It's okay, I'll look into all of that and the surrounding areas, everything." Robert assured Aaron.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, "Won't they be...think you're up to something." The last thing he wanted was Robert getting into trouble.

  
Robert bit his lip, "I'll be careful." He said before smiling as he saw the look on Aaron's face that screamed I don't like the sound of this.

  
"I don't want you risking things for me. Risking your career for...for someone like me." Aaron mumbled softly, he felt worthless half the time and now Robert knew too.

  
Robert wanted to hold Aaron close and make him forget about the world, he hated how Aaron referred to himself, as if he was nothing, as if he didn't mean the world to someone.

  
"I'm gonna kiss you now." Robert leaned into Aaron and wished the closeness of their bodies would soothe him somehow.

 

Aaron nodded weakly, he had wished Robert would say those words since the minute he pushed into him that night. Something so direct and beautiful and - 

 

Robert was right, Aaron seemed to be soothed by the tenderness of it all and he couldn't help but feel special knowing he was the reason for the way Aaron almost melted into him as they kissed and kissed and kissed.

 

Robert hadn't expected anything more from Aaron but they couldn't part just like that, they didn't do anything else that night as they went to sleep but whisper words like 'thank you' and 'I'm here' as they drifted off side by side. Aaron didn't have any nightmares that night, only dreams, only dreams of Robert Sugden.

 

* * *

 

 Robert didn't waste any time the next morning after spending way too long admiring Aaron as he slept. He almost studied the way his hair flopped and his eyes squinted as he breathed in and out slightly. Robert was still in shock by how quickly his emotions had changed for the man. How when _he_ kissed him for the first time it felt as though he had finally finished a marathon, as if Aaron's lips were the final metres and he was home and safe. Kissing Aaron was effortless, keeping him though still made him tremble all over - 

  
He woke up that morning and wondered if his soft words the night before hadn't been enough to keep him there beside him. All the 'I'm here now's and the 'shh it's okay go to sleep Aaron I'm not going anywhere's circled his mind as he looked at Aaron sleeping soundly, he wasn't perfect or entirely moral but he had a heart that Robert knew belonged to him in some ways and the thought made him smile. The thought of this shy reserved troubled boy trusting him enough to share the deepest parts of his past with him and then stay with him after it all, made him realise that Robert owned a part of his heart, a part so special and beautiful and delicate enough for Robert to break from his ways that made him almost unable to tell people how he honestly felt. Robert kissed Aaron softly on the forehead and watched him stir as he got to his feet and walked towards the kitchen. Robert had learnt to make coffee for two each morning now, it was almost normal and it made him smile, he was so used to Aaron.

  
"Morning..." Aaron's voice filled the room, he was practically naked only a white sheet covering his modesty. Robert bit his lip, goddamn disappointed that he was covered.

  
"You have work don't you?" Aaron asked as he watched Robert pour out some coffee for them, "Er yeah...yeah."

  
The air between them was filled with some sort of tension, balanced by admiration and appreciation that made Robert walk closer to Aaron and rest a hand on his arm.

  
Aaron shuddered softly as he thought about how Robert would hear all about him, all about his past and the theories everyone would have around what his involvement.

  
Aaron bit his lip hard and thought about Robert tipping over the edge, maybe lashing out or saying too much.

  
"Just...just don't do anything...to rash okay." Aaron mumbled as he rubbed Robert's arm.

  
Robert sighed softly as he thought about Max being a twat and trying to wind him up or any other weird evidence coming to light.

  
"I'll try Aaron...it's hard though, hearing them say all that shit about you being some sort of threat..."

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly then pulled it towards the floor in shame. Robert could see his discomfort and immediately pulled him into some sort of awkward hug that neither of them expected. Despite how much progress they had made, being so close to each other still made them almost squeal inside.

  
"I'm used to it." Aaron let out as he pulled away from Robert and cleared his throat, "Just don't let them wind you up okay?" There was such a calmness in his voice, it soothed Robert so quickly almost always.

  
Robert nodded his head slowly, "Okay," he whispered before kissing Aaron's forehead softly. For Aaron he'd keep his cool.

 

* * *

  
Robert was in the office earlier than most, he had to make sure that when the others came in he was deep into work. He first needed to find out about Ed. This Ed that Aaron had been with, now it was almost always about defending Aaron and building himself a better name before anyone tried to bring it down again. He was completely determined to find out how to get Aaron off the hook whilst the others were being paid to do the exact opposite.

Robert had never opened Aaron's file. Loui always had it by his side when he was looking for more details about something or Aiden would need to cheek that things added up. But Robert could never bring himself to actually read about the man he cared about, the man who trusted him despite knowing what he did when he was at work. He had to look though, he had to search for anything he could now that would make him appear innocent. Robert trailed a hand over the file and suddenly his eyes were drawn to a statement, a statement by an Ed Roberts who was interviewed a few days ago by...Max. Robert was practically seething, why the hell would Max keep things from everyone and then file it away so obviously. Then he read it and realised why. The words had been blacked out, some of them anyways. Tampered with before they were filed away and Robert couldn't understand half of what it said.

  
'Aaron-------don't-----wouldn't ever-----good man-----'

  
Robert bit down on his lip before quickly looking at the name again Ed Roberts, printed directly underneath was an address. A hotel. He was probably staying there now. Robert typed the name into Google and sat back as he watched the information come up. From what he could work out, Ed was a rugby player - pretty well known and maybe enough to make the public realise Aaron wasn't this monster. Suddenly Loui came through the doors and Robert shoved the file under his desk, deciding that it was too precious for even Loui to see.

  
"Wow first in the office today." Loui said playfully pulling a shocked face.

  
"Yeah well...this case seems to be-"

  
"Dragging its feet?" Loui called out before sighing. "God someone somewhere must know something right." He added before logging onto the computer.

  
Robert looked at Loui, he trusted him, he had known him for nearly half his life maybe it was for the best if Loui knew about all the information he was just sitting on. But Loui would get suspicious, he would almost certainly suspect something if Robert told him the truth, if somehow all of a sudden he had *all this evidence he would be ridiculously suspicious. But he had to, he couldn't keep it to himself.

  
"Loui there _is_ something...there's evidence that I've got...but it's complicated alright." Robert shifted on his feet and suddenly Loui was frowning at him and moving closer.

  
"How much evidence? How much have you got?"

  
Robert licked his lips, "It's complicated...I said. There's evidence that...okay someone told me something and I believe them. Fully believe them Loui."

  
Loui frowned, "What about the case?"

  
Robert nodded, "Yeah about the case...about Livesy and...and everything." He couldn't bring himself to say anything more.

  
"He didn't do it. He didn't do anything wrong Loui." Robert blabbed before leaning back in his chair and being cut off by the sound of Aiden walking towards them. "Am I interrupting something?"

  
Robert quickly rose to his feet and walked towards the coffee machine. _Fuck you Aiden._

 

He didn't hide the file too well, not at all because as soon as his back was turned Liam was suddenly tripping over the file swearing about it and then picking it up. Liam was Liam and he just had to be ridiculously nosy and childish and going through all the pages in the files, right from the beginning covering all the petty crimes Aaron had done when was a kid. Stealing and fighting, things that made Robert only feel sorry for him. Then suddenly Aiden was walking over to him, Liam and Aiden sitting there looking through his file fully. Robert straightened his back as he walked towards them and suddenly Liam gulped hard.

  
"Don't you have anything better to do with your time? Like try and find out who killed Will."

  
Robert had almost fully decided to make Aaron tell the truth now. He didn't know how but he couldn't go on pretending like he didn't know exactly what happened and now Loui was staring at him with an expression that told Robert he _knew_ something was going on. Aaron was scared though wasn't he, too scared to leave the flat, too scared of prison. He wouldn't come forward and if Robert went with him then they'd be even more questions asked. Even more questions about why and how Robert Sugden knew Aaron Livesy enough to accompany him to the police station, to accompany a known fugitive. _Fuck_.

Being involved with a suspect would...would end everything for him Robert thought. If the boys knew, if Jensen knew then he would loose his job. He had seen it before, in the office, that woman who slept with a suspect, her career was over. _Fuck_. And Aaron with all his good and selfish ways would surely leave him out of it. He'd have nothing.

"Listen...listen Harley and Harry, okay I've got some more evidence. More footage of them in Germany, bit bad at laying low..."

  
Robert could have kissed Grace for being so smart and changing the subject and now with evidence. They could find the bastards.

  
"Grace that's amazing, alright keep on that okay." Robert gave her a reassuring smile but the others didn't seem to even care as they kept looking through he file.

  
"I'm serious though...the things Livesy has done...mate I wouldn't put anything past him." Liam scoffed lightly making Robert burn.

  
"What 'cos he was a petty criminal growing up? That dosent make him capable of _actually_ killing someone -"

  
Robert hated hearing it all.

  
Liam's eyes widened, "No but killing your boyfriend does." He said as his eyes fell onto the next page.

  
Robert stared at him in shock, even grace stopped what she doing. He didn't understand, didn't want to. And for a second, he had a flicker of doubt circling his mind. Had he got it all wrong?

  
Aiden widened his eyes and looked down at the page Liam was reading off, "Give it here."

  
For a second there was this eerie silence travelling through the office, everyone was anticipating what exactly was the truth especially Robert, he was shaking but he was making sure that the trembles weren't visible.

  
"He's right." Aiden said dryly as if it didn't matter.

  
Robert's heart was thumping like mad and even Grace seemed to be shocked by the news.

  
"What...what do you..." Robert couldn't even compose a sentence.

  
"Well _technically_ he is right, Livesy _did_ kill his boyfriend but it was assisted suicide." Aiden followed his finger across the page before pointing at the small print underneath that Liam had ignored.

  
Robert didn't know how to feel. Sadness hit him like a ton of bricks though and he couldn't escape the feeling. Just how tragic was Aaron's past?

  
"Well that's not going to help us is it?" Liam sighed hard before kicking a chair and pulling Robert out of his thoughts.

  
Grace frowned softly, "What do you mean?"

  
"Don't you see?" Liam steadied himself on the chair and it caught Robert's attention, "If this gets out all we have is this poor messed up boy who the big bad police are targeting."

  
Robert smirked for a second and then frowned, no, he couldn't exploit Aaron's tragic past for his own selfish gain. That's not how it worked. But then it would help him, he would benefit from it and that's all Robert wanted. He _needed_ to make sure

 

Aaron was in the clear and if his tragic ex helped then...

 

* * *

 

Aaron had cleaned the flat for Robert properly this time, no looking at private things this time he had told himself as he started scrubbing at the sink. He still couldn't believe how badly Robert wanted to help him, despite almost everything that had told Robert he still wanted to make sure he was proved innocent. The thought of Robert made him smile, smile because he had someone that wanted him on such a deep level that it scared the shit out of him. He didn't see pity in Robert's eyes, he saw care and kindness and respect mixed in with this passion that had always been there.

Robert came through the door and almost instantly Aaron was suspicious by the way he seemed, suddenly he remembered the conversation from that morning. The way he had told Robert not to rise to their bait at work and just try to ignore it. He probably had flown off the handle at work and by the way he ripped off his tie and tossed it aside, he wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

Robert _was_ frustrated, he had spent the rest of the day researching about Jackson Walsh, Aaron's ex - the one who had died, he had a face so full of life - it was almost ironic. The point was the rest of the team were basically useless in finding out anything about the brothers, all he knew was that Germany was linked to them greatly but that was about it. He was annoyed because he did _know_ the truth all of the truth in fact but it wouldn't count for anything with hard evidence.

"Are you okay? You seem..." Aaron trailed off as he saw Robert's face, he looked exhausted.

  
"I'm stressed out that's all." Robert didn't mean to say that, now Aaron was staring at him with wide worried eyes and he felt bad.

  
Aaron walked towards Robert and hugged him, it was a hug that screamed 'let me share your stress...let me be yours'. It was a hug that Robert almost melted into as he embraced every last ounce of Aaron's body, the grip around the blue eyed boy only getting tighter.

  
"I'm sorry." Aaron mumbled into Robert's neck, how could he not feel guilty.

  
"Don't be sorry Aaron...I meant what I said about us doing this together." Robert said as he pulled away and cupped Aaron's face before kissing his head gently. Aaron smiled as he felt Robert's warmth, he had quickly come to realise that kisses anywhere but the lips seemed to say a lot more. When Robert kissed Aaron on the lips it screamed, 'I can't not kiss you right now...I want you now'. But when Robert kissed Aaron on the forehead, the cheek, the top of his head it screamed something much more scary, much more intimate. Those three simple words that neither of them could possibly say...yet.

Aaron knew how to relax Robert, he was practically a pro now and it made Aaron smile as he gently ran a finger up and down Robert's arm as they relaxed on the sofa. Robert was thankful for the soft touch and they he could hear Aaron's heart beating because he was so close but he still wasn't calm or relaxed or even slightly able to wind down. All he could think about was what he had heard at work. Aaron and Jackson, Aaron happy and then Aaron tortured. It hurt to think that anyone could use his past to possibly try and justify what happened to that poor Will. He was grateful that Liam bought up the fact that a certain level of sympathy could be felt for him if indeed they decided to tell the public about it all.

  
"Aaron...I have to talk to you about something." Robert didn't want to talk to Aaron about his past, not when he still hadn't talked about his own. Not when the thought of doing so made him feel sick.

  
Aaron gulped hard before pulling his arm away and forcing Robert to look his way, "Go ahead."

  
"At work today we er....I found out about Jackson." Robert couldn't bare to look at Aaron, he felt too bad, too guilty. At the end of the day Robert had been forced to look up things about the man he cared about, personal things, things that Aaron would never disclose himself.

  
Aaron's throat was dry. Jackson. His tragic past and all the events after Jackson's death were enough to make Aaron squirm.

  
Robert could see Aaron becoming uncomfortable, almost closed off - but he couldn't stop himself.

  
"I'm so sorry about what happened Aaron, having to...to do that to someone you love -"

  
"It was a long time ago." Aaron said simply, cutting in from Robert and making him frown.

  
Robert almost burned and he heard the words - exactly what he would say when people still talked about _her_.

  
"Dosent mean that....those feelings just disappear all of a sudden. It must still hurt." Aaron turned to Robert sharply and looked at him questionably before shrugging.

  
"It's what people say though you know...'it was a long time ago' as if that makes a difference. It dosent fade like people think, it just...just gets muddled along with other things in ya head." Aaron sighed before placing his head in his hands and shaking it.

  
Robert bit his lip hard before sighing softly, "I understand." He said before moving towards Aaron and kissing his head slowly, lingering for a few seconds as he tried to block out his thoughts.

  
The words stung Aaron and instantly he was pushing Robert away from him and making him stare at him utterly confused.

  
"Please don't say that." Aaron muttered suddenly thinking about all the times where he had heard people 'understand' his situation.

  
"Aaron please." Robert whispered before gently trying to reach for Aaron again.

  
Aaron had tears in his eyes and he was taking sharp breathes, "Everyone says they understand but how? No one knows what if feels like to be me...to...be happy...and then have nothing...to think of the future and then get it ripped away from you...because of a fucking phone call that made...that made the person you love...just die...be the reason why they're not with you anymore." Everything was reopening, it was new and nasty and making Aaron tremble because Jackson had finally been stored away in a healthy part of his brain.

  
Robert had tears in his eyes as he sighed softly and then stared at Aaron, shaking slightly as he thought of _her, her, her. Savannah._

  
"Trust me Aaron, I know _exactly_ how it feels." Robert let a tear roll but rubbed at it quickly when he saw the look on Aaron's face, a mixture of horror and guilt laced within.

  
"What do you mean?" Aaron couldn't help but move towards him, his feet were pulling towards Robert and suddenly he didn't know whether or not to comfort him.

  
Robert didn't want to do this, he didn't want to talk about _her_ or anything of his past but it had all came out too quickly before Robert could even process his thoughts.

  
He was defeated by the look on Aaron's face that told him he wanted to know, he wanted to genuinely help him through whatever he was trying to say and now, now he was placing a hand on his shoulder and Robert couldn't help but push him off.

  
He sighed slowly as he sat down on the kitchen table, the place where he and Aaron always used to chat about the most domestic things going. Now it seemed awkward and cold.

  
"I know what you mean, I know because I've been in a similar situation. Not the whole killing someone I love but...but everything you just said I understood too much of it" Robert whispered as he felt Aaron stare at him, he was leaning against the sofa and his eyes were full of worry.

  
Aaron's heart was sinking as he saw how troubled Robert looked, "What happened?" He whispered softly not wanting to push Robert to hard on the subject but desperately needing to understand.

  
Robert could see her as he closed her eyes, so beautiful, so stunning and naturally so yet so insecure. A product of an absent father and an overprotected mum, completely unbalanced in almost every way.

  
"Savannah, she was amazing...beautifully kind but just so...so insecure and...and sometimes a push over. I _knew_ she was a push over and I was young and a prick and I used her most of the time, made her think we had something and then I'd break her heart and she'd leave and then come back again, she'd always come back" Robert sniffed and Aaron adjusted on his feet as he heard him talk about her, he could almost feel her around them as he spoke and he realised how powerful her presence must have been.

  
"We were both so stupid, so young and naive and...well the next minute I knew...she was pregnant." The memory almost made Robert shudder, the memory of her tears and his shock and what followed.

  
Aaron gulped hard and nodded, his head suddenly working over time as he imagined where this child was. Why there wasn't any photos.

  
"She said she was keeping it and I said I didn't want to be with her, I was such a prick. I told her she'd have to bring it up on her own and she was so scared, but so was I. I was so fucking scared 'cos we...we were so young and I had no family to lean on. I had burnt all my bridges by then."

  
Robert shifted slightly as he shook his head and looked at Aaron. Aaron smiled back weakly and nodded his head again signalling for him to carry on again.

  
"I didn't see her for weeks, weeks went by and it was like she had just disappeared and I was scared that I'd never see her again, but I did. Her mum died, she was getting bigger and her mum wasn't around to look after he the way she needed to be looked after. She needed someone to care for her and help her and be there for her and I had to...to step up. I just saw her face at her mum's funeral....and I knew I couldn't leave her. So I bought her back to my flat and...and I tried my best. I got stuff we would have needed."

Robert looked up at Aaron, "The boxes you saw, the blue bear stickers on them and the whole Baby Care." Aaron nodded his head before widening his eyes, "BC on the boxes, that was all baby stuff?" Robert let out a sob, covering his mouth and then suddenly finding Aaron's arms around his, he couldn't when describe how beautiful the feeling genuinely felt. He needed Aaron as much as Aaron needed him, just in different ways.

  
Aaron pulled away and Robert could see the tears in his eyes as he gently brushed a finger across his cheek,  
"Do you want to stop?" He couldn't bare to see Robert cry like this, it hurt him and he didn't fully even understand why his own heart was thudding the way it was.

  
Robert shook his head before sighing hard.

  
"We had a shit winter, snow everywhere. One day I came home from work and she was scrapping away the snow from the windows, practically falling out. Her entire body was like ice, she was shivering and then she told me that she had been outside that morning to get an ice scrapper but she hadn't bought her coat. I remember I gave her a bath, she was so cold and I was so angry at her...but I didn't want to panic her." Robert sniffed softly. "She got worse, I had to do everything for her because she was so weak. But we were so young I...I was just suddenly scared of letting her go. Letting the doctors find out that she was shaking at night and her temperature was ridiculously low, I thought that they would take her from me and I realised I didn't want her to go. I cared about her too much."

  
Robert suddenly thought about the way he described how he felt for Aaron, that niggling 'care about you' phrase that meant so much more.

  
"It for even worse though and I had to take her because she was scared about the baby, I was scared about the baby and...and they said she had pneumonia. They said...she had to be kept in for a few weeks because it was _that_ serious. I remember her crying and me feeling useless because I could have prevented it, I could have taken her sooner but I didn't."

  
Aaron looked at Robert straight in the eyes, "You were only trying to help her the way you thought was best." He whispered and suddenly Robert nodded his head weakly.

  
"I was there everyday, no else visited and the more I saw her the more I couldn't bare to let her go. I...realised that I loved her and that was it." Robert thought back to the way he had felt when he sat across from her and realised he loved her, he had never loved anyone the way he loved her and it was a beautiful thing to feel. With Aaron he was scared about the future but with her it all seemed clear and bright. How fucking wrong was he.

  
Aaron smiled weakly, somehow the thought of a young Robert in love made him smile.

  
"She got out of the hospital and I told her how I felt, I was so fucking scared but she...she said she had always loved me and I...I was happy. I was so happy, blindingly happy because she was pregnant and we were together and then..." Robert shuddered and turned pale, "Six months into the pregnancy...I was back at work...Savannah was better and I had just started going back to work full time. Work back then was just office work so I could easily change my hours, but this particular day...I had to leave in a rush..."

Robert frowned as if to remember the reason, "I can't even remember why I did but I just...I just left quickly, I kissed her as she slept and then I left. I was in a hurry so I left my file, I needed it and then Savannah was ringing me, telling me that she would drop it off for me...I told her not to, I said I'd come back but she insisted. I should have stopped her." Robert sobbed quietly and Aaron tried his hardest to respect the space between them, it was hard though seeing this string and powerful man crumble.

  
"The car just...just came out of nowhere - she was just walking down the fucking road- she was...it just hit -" Robert couldn't go on, the pounding in his head made him cry out even more and then Aaron was wrapped around him again, he was in complete shock but he couldn't let Robert see his expression. He couldn't hurt him by letting the tears roll down his face, he had to cry silently as he held Robert.

  
"Hey...shhhh...I'm here...I'm here...I'm sorry....Rob I'm so sorry." Aaron cried out as Robert nuzzled himself into Aaron's neck.

  
"I went to the hospital with a ring in my pocket....I was gonna propose to her that night....we were gonna be happy. The three of us" Robert cried out as he felt Aaron's arms tighten around him, "But she was gone, they were gone, just like Jackson Aaron."

  
Aaron felt another tear roll softly down his face.

  
"I just pushed everyone away, even Loui. I hated how...how someone could do that to someone else." Robert shivered slightly and Aaron frowned as he heard him.

  
"Was it a...a hit and run?" The thought made him feel sick and Robert's slow nod made it even worse.

  
"I made it my mission to find out who it was...and I did. I caught the bastard that killed them and I got him sent down. First real case I suppose." Robert bit down on his lip, "I found a way of channelling my anger, solving cases helped and Loui was already a detective, he encouraged me and that's why I'm here now."

  
Aaron pulled back slightly, the events leading up to his job were traumatic and dark and he couldn't help but wonder why he loved the job so much if it reminded him of Savannah and their baby and their death's. Aaron went to pull Robert closer to him and Robert gave in as he felt Aaron press against his forehead, his hand was on his chest and suddenly it hit Robert, he was evident how much he cared, how much he needed Aaron but now he realised how much he _loved_ him to. The sensation was electric, suddenly a simple touch was enough to make Robert's heart sing. Despite the darkness of their conversations, a delicate touch from Aaron drew him away from that place almost instantly. Robert had to catch his breath as he thought about how he had just divulged a hidden trauma of his past, one that he hated with all his heart, one that left him cold and lonely.

  
Aaron pressed further into Robert and whispered something so gently it nearly made Robert fall over: "Thank you for telling me."

  
"I trust you...it's scary how much I trust you, how much I want you Aaron." Robert let the last few words slide out as Aaron kept his gaze, his eyes were so blue, so beautiful.

  
Aaron's eyes flickered, "Want me?" He mumbled shyly and Robert cupped his face pulling him even closer before nodding his head and moving his lips towards Aaron 'more...more than ever...I don't just want you...I _need_ you' he kissed him softly at first. He was simply taking his time as he felt Aaron lean in even closer and then their eyes locked and it was as if they both knew what was coming next - 

  
Aaron pushed Robert harder as he moaned into a kiss. Robert was tugging at Aaron's clothes like some wild animal and Aaron didn't even mind, he was pulling at Robert and steadily unbuckling his belt as they trailed towards the bedroom. Clothes were flying and Robert wouldn't bare to let go of his grip of Aaron, he needed to be _this_ close to Aaron and not an inch less. Aaron was kissing him over and over again, whispering _'are you sure?' 'are you okay?'_ as he came up for air. Robert was overwhelmed by how soft he was, how smooth and gentle this 'violent fugitive' was as he ran fingers down his chest and moved up and down his body taking in every ounce of him he could. They had never got this far Aaron thought as he saw Robert looking at him with desire laced in his eyes, he was wanting him and he still didn't fully understand why. Aaron felt the weight of Robert as Robert turned him over and suddenly he was aware that Robert could see him, all of him. All his scars.

Robert shuddered as he saw the fading marks scatters across Aaron's stomach, he ached to hold him and suddenly without thinking he began to kiss them all tenderly as he heard Aaron whisper ' _there just a part of me'_. Suddenly he wasn't ashamed of them like the past, maybe it was the way Robert gently placed his lips on them, as if he had magically made them heal and seem beautiful instead of beastly. Maybe Robert just had an art for making things beautiful. He didn't understand what was happening, why Robert was being this soothing, why exactly he needed him.

  
Robert had that lust in his eyes before, for him? For a troubled thug with a good heart but a blackened name. Robert was this smart, confident, sociable person with just the right amount of good looks and charm and Aaron was...none of the above. Robert had this tragic past but unlike Aaron he was able to draw strength from it all, was able to better his life somehow instead of destroy it. Robert could almost feel Aaron being reluctant and suddenly he kissed Aaron hard, almost igniting the passion again ' _I said I want you Aaron...I was this...I want you...I want for forget about everything else and just have me and you...just me and you Aaron'_ Aaron nodded his head as he felt Robert's naked body against his own, his lips parted as he watched Robert blush and then kiss him again lighter this time. Tomorrow he would tell Aaron about contacting Ed, another kiss down Aaron's chest, tomorrow he would talk to Aaron about letting them publicise the assisted suicide case _another tender moan as Aaron pulled his hair_ , tomorrow he would maybe ask Aaron to confess everything in a letter and make the others see he was incident _another familiar feel of Aaron on him, around him as he sucked and pulled._

They shuddered as they came together, became one as Robert gave himself to Aaron fully _'I want you in me...I want all of you Aaron'_ the words made Aaron tremble and shake and whisper another _'are you sure?'_ before feeling another hot kiss on his mouth that made him ease into him softly and slowly and then quicker and harder and more passionate. Robert never felt this way, never had opened himself up so much to anyone, not even Savannah was able to see everything he had to offer when he _loved_ , truly _loved_.

  
Robert was falling, falling completely in many ways and Aaron was balancing him, keeping him up straight and together in many ways. They were one, they were united, they were together.

Robert couldn't keep his hands off Aaron, touching and kissing and panting before staring into Aaron's eyes and whispering "you've _seen_ me Aaron.... _all_ of me, and I've seen you." Aaron nodded his head as he stared into Robert's green eyes filled with such love "we've seen each other...we _have_ each other now" Aaron was stroking Robert's arms and Robert was humming softly as he draped an arm around his lover and held him close, surely _this_ was heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Robert's secret past has been exposed (poor Rob! He needed substance I felt and a reason for really wanting to help Aaron) and him and Aaron finally DID THE DEED (in case that wasn't clear!) terribly sorry for how long it's been :(((


	21. The Ex Ed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert smiled before pulling Aaron towards him by his waist,  
> "Yeah you're right, should I have mentioned your ex before...or after sex?" Aaron blushed bright red and suddenly smiled as he heard Robert chuckle and kiss at his neck again.

Aaron noticed the freckles that scattered Robert's face, his soft lashes and floppy hair, the way he slept with not one frown on his face, almost completely at peace as he draped an arm over Aaron. The space between them had been invaded as soon as they came down from their high last night, soft tender kisses were welcomed during the afterglow. Morning came, sun shining brightly into the room and all Aaron could do was stare at this man he was laying with. Sharp, cutting and smart but so delicate and thankful, grateful and more importantly honest. Aaron's heart still ached as he thought about the way Robert must have felt about Savannah.

At the end of the day Aaron had taken a life, willingly of course, but at least he had some time to make sure Jackson knew he was loved. He told him through the tears before he gave him his last drink. But Robert didn't have that, by the sounds of it he had never got the chance to show her all his love, to shower her with his affection comfortably. It had all been ripped away from him so cruelly, so quickly.

A future, an entire life he had planned...killed along with his girlfriend and baby.

  
Aaron fidgeted slightly as he kissed Robert on the forehead, he didn't want Robert to go to work, to hear about what they thought of Jackson and all the theories they had created. He felt sick to think about it all but he could hardly ignore the fact that Robert _would_ have to leave his side again.

  
Robert stirred, fluttering his eyes slightly as he felt Aaron's weight against him, butterflies kept growing in his stomach, bursting as he felt Aaron kiss his nose lightly. Last night had changed everyone, last night had made a muddle of ideas and thoughts seem concerte, seem solid and tight and certain. Talking about Savannah, the time they lost, all those days they wasted made Robert realise he couldn't do it again. He couldn't skirt around whatever was going on between him and Aaron. He cared for Aaron, _cared_ too much to think about. The way Aaron made him open up was a feeling that scared the hell out of him and made him happy at the same time. He _wanted_ Aaron and he _had_ Aaron - last night. But he _still_ wanted him now, even in the harsh light of day with the fear and worry of work weighing on his mind and all the questions he had to ask Aaron still there, still festering.

  
"Morning..." Aaron whispered before gently pulling at Robert's hair, running a hand through the locks and smiling shyly.

  
Robert smiled back softly, "Morning." He whispered back.

  
Aaron blinked quickly, slight panic in his eyes, "No...no regrets right?" he _just_ had to ask, _just_ needed to be sure.

  
Robert frowned as he gently pulled himself up and tapped Aaron's head lightly.

  
"What was that for?" Aaron chuckled.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders, "Dunno...think you might have bumped you head and forgot all that I said last night, what we er _did_ last night..."

  
Aaron blushed a bright red, "Of course I remember, that's what I'm talking -"

  
Robert placed a hand over Aaron's mouth and watched him settle slightly, "No."

  
Aaron frowned, "No I _don't_ have _any_ regrets about last night." Robert added and Aaron simply smiled.

  
Aaron nodded shyly and pressed a hand against Robert's chest, leaning in and teasing him slightly before moving his body off the bed and running towards the kitchen to make them coffees.

 

* * *

 

Robert was dressed, hair semi sorted and body washed. He was ready to leave but he couldn't, he needed Aaron to do something for him, he needed to ask Aaron something.

  
"Aaron I don't to...to lie to you...you know that right?" Robert said leaning against the doorframe and watching Aaron sip at the coffee he had regretted making, not even Robert could convince him that a coffee in the morning was better than a brew.

  
Aaron gulped as he heard the words - 'what now?'

  
Robert bit his lip, "So yesterday when I said we found out about Jackson, everyone seemed to think that it would _benefit_ you...that it would make things seem like...like you were -"

  
"A victim?" Aaron breathed out slowly, "Poor little Aaron targeted by the big bad police after all that he had been through..." he spat out the words feeling angry all of a sudden.

  
Robert shook his head and walked towards Aaron, he was careful not to push him too far. Last night had been perfect and now the thought of the case shattering it made him want to be sick.

  
"Listen to me Aaron, they have a point -"

  
Aaron pushed a hand in front of Robert, "I don't want anyone's sympathy okay? If this gets out...if people hear about it...I don't want that....I had that back where I lived, I had people feel sorry for me -"

  
Robert grabbed Aaron's wrist just as he was about to pull away and run towards the bathroom.

  
"The public think you're some psycho monster Aaron who's capable of cold blooded murder." Robert said the words quickly, hating how harsh he had to be. Aaron's eyes fluttered slightly and the knot in his stomach tightened.

  
"I'm sorry." Robert bowed his head before sighing, "But it's true..." Robert's raised his head again, loosening his grip on Aaron's wrist, "I know the truth, I know exactly what happened but no one else does and we need to make people start to realise that it couldn't be you before -"

  
Aaron frowned softly, "Before what? What have you got planned eh?"

  
Robert gulped hard and sighed, "You. Confessing to what happened."

  
Robert had realised yesterday when he was talking to Loui that the team were so ridiculously desperate for some hard evidence, something from Aaron... _anything_. If he told them everything, if he wrote a letter telling them _everything_ than it would make things better. Robert would have something concrete to use against the brothers and make sure they turn their attention towards the right people, towards the actual killers.

  
Aaron staggered back slightly, "Have you lost your mind?" He asked almost hysterically "I can't-"

  
Robert kissed Aaron softly still relishing in how he was so freely able to embrace Aaron. He needed Aaron calm, relaxed and he knew his kisses usually made him soften slightly. Aaron allowed Robert to kiss him once more before pulling his eyes towards Robert's and breathing out, "At least explain yourself."

  
Robert nodded his head slowly, "In a letter, you confess everything, you say that you'll continue sending information if it means it gets you off the hook. We take the letter, I tell everyone to stop running after you and no one will be suspicious because we have this letter that puts focus on the boys...not you."

  
Aaron frowned slightly for a second it seemed plausible.

  
"But...who's to say anyone of them will believe the letter. They could just think I was lying...that I'm mad or summat." Robert shook his head. 

"It dosent matter, we can't just ignore key information from a suspect. We _have_ to act on it...and when we do...we'll get them."

  
Aaron bit his lip, it all seemed too true.

  
"Listen to me Aaron it _will_ work okay. Grace has already got stuff of them in Germany." Aaron rose his head sharply, "Really?" Robert nodded his head, "Not as clever as they think."

  
Aaron sniffed slowly as he felt Robert curl his fingers through his hair, calming him down almost immediately.

  
"So...so back to this whole...to Jackson." Robert gulped hard and allowed Aaron to continue, "How would it even get out, how would the press know if they all think it would help me and they want me behind bars?"

  
Robert smiled softly, "That's where I come in."

  
"You...leak it to the press...?"

  
Robert nodded.

  
"What if they find out it was you? Won't you get into trouble? Robert please I couldn't bare it if -" Aaron was hysterical again and this time Robert held him tightly to soothe him down, he was wrapping his arms around Aaron and kissing his head softly.  
Once again Robert was scared by how he had hardly thought about what would have happened to him if they realised that Robert was somewhat helping Aaron by leaking the news. It scared him, just how much he would do for Aaron.

  
"Just forget about that okay? Nothing is going to happen to me." Robert mumbled into Aaron's neck before kissing it softly and pulling away.

  
"I'll write the letter." Aaron said as he watched Robert adjust his shirt slightly and look towards the clock.

  
Robert snapped his head back towards Aaron and smiled, "You will?"

  
Aaron nodded, "Yeah...I trust you Robert, I trust what you say and if this will help then..."

  
Robert kissed Aaron hard on the lips nearly knocking Aaron over and making him chuckle.

  
"It _will_ help Aaron, they'll realise your innocent and then we can be..." Robert was smiling widely, his voice high and filled with happiness. He trailed off though quite suddenly as he saw Aaron's blue beautiful eyes widen, he couldn't work out whether he wanted him to continue or he was trying to signal a stopping sign. He wasn't even too sure about what he was trying to say exactly, maybe 'together' or maybe 'happy and like proper boyfriends'. Maybe.

  
Aaron coughed before looking up at the clock and then back towards Robert.

  
"Have you got to leave now?"

  
"Yeah...but one more thing" Robert said before pulling a face and remembering what he was doing that day and with who.

 

"You know how I said....I wanted to make sure the public knew you weren't just this...this...monster murderer."

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, "Where are ya going with this?"

  
Robert pulled another face and bit his lip, "I'm sorta seeing your ex today..."

  
Aaron's eyes widened and scoffed, "Yeah right okay...bit of a weird joke..."

  
Robert darted his eyes across the room, "Er I'm not really kidding..."

  
Aaron frowned softly as he watched Robert pull a face before moving towards his briefcase and slipping out a paper.

  
"Ed Roberts. He's staying here...in this hotel with his team." Robert said passing Aaron the paper and making his heart race.

  
Aaron bit his lip as he thought about Ed, thought about how great things were for a while before it turned sour, before he felt suffocated and he ended things between them.

  
"Okay then so...so why -" Aaron mumbled softly.

  
"When you were talking about what had happened, you mentioned him and then yesterday I wanted to see if anyone had interviewed him...and someone had." Robert said waving his arms around slightly and making Aaron frown even more.

  
"Why didn't ya tell me when you came back?" Aaron asked with a hint of annoyance in his tone.

  
Robert shrugged slowly, "'Cos I found out about Jackson and then well...I was a bit of a mess when I came back wasn't I?" He mumbled shyly, he really was a sobbing mess last night.

  
"So what are ya planning on doing? If you said someone had interviewed him then why-"

  
Robert frowned softly, "Someone...I dunno black marked the file." Aaron pulled a face, "You know like...like blacked out sentences..." Aaron went to speak, "And before you ask...I don't know who did it." 

  
Aaron suddenly imagined Robert and Ed sitting together, discussing the man they had both slept with, it didn't take long for him to start blushing.

  
"I...I wish you had told me." Aaron mumbled softly.

  
Robert smiled before pulling Aaron towards him by his waist, "Yeah you're right, should I have mentioned your ex before...or after sex?" Aaron blushed bright red and suddenly smiled as he heard Robert chuckle and kiss at his neck again.

  
"Have fun then I suppose...don't hate me too much if he says something about you know the way we ended things or...I'm just scared- scared that you might be a bit- a bit put off or something." Aaron babbled quickly, he was suddenly realising that Ed might have a somewhat negative view on the past, about the way he ended things and how heartbroken Ed seemed.

  
Robert stroked Aaron's hair again and kissed Aaron's head softly, "Nothing would make me...be 'put off' of... _this._ "

  
Aaron nodded his head before hugging Robert tightly and looking back at the clock again, "Leave now...if you stay any longer I'll be forced to 'thank you' a hell of a lot." He practically growled and instantly Robert let out a small moan, a little _'fuck you for turning me on Livesy'_

  
Robert picked up his briefcase and walked towards the door, before turning back round and looking at Aaron, looking at the way he seemed to be so happy and comfortable and suddenly he was thinking back to the first time Aaron had been in his flat. Cold, hungry, scared and broken by a fall. Them the second time, even more starved, terrified and now damaged. Far from content, far from comfortable. Yet now there he was Aaron Livesy, he knew him, he knew all of him, every last bit.

  
"I forgot to say thanks myself for last night...for listening, for being there for me. I've not told anyone about...about her." Robert said shyly as he turned towards Aaron.

  
Aaron smiled softly suddenly feeling special, important.

  
"Of course I would be there for ya...always." He added softly.

  
Robert's heart gave way, he was believing it all.

  
"I know...I mean...I know you will and that's why...I think I'm...I mean last night I realised that I lov-"

  
Aaron eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open, ready to hear the words when suddenly Robert's phone was ringing.

Robert's heart was beating out of his chest, slowly he looked down at his phone and then back to Aaron who was still staring at him in shock.

  
"You should get that..." Aaron whispered causing Robert to rip his eyes away and nod.

  
"Hello? Hello..." Robert mumbled as he heard Grace's voice on the other side.

  
"Yeah Rob come in with got some news." Grace said quickly before hanging up.

  
Robert bit his lip, suddenly the air was awkward and thick, "I'll see ya later yeah."

  
Aaron nodded his head before suddenly rushing over to Robert and holding him tightly as if to say: 'I know what you were going to say and this is my way of saying the same thing'. Aaron hoped it made sense, hoped Robert wouldn't ask him why he felt the need to hold him tightly and when he kisses his forehead and walked out the door he suddenly felt grateful, he could catch his breath again.

 

* * *

 

  
Robert wasn't prepared for all the talk, all the noise from the office when he crashed through the doors.

  
Grace was first to notice him and suddenly she was pulling him towards the others. Loui looked quite frazzled and Liam was was running a hand through his hair.

  
"Is anyone gonna tell me what's happened?" Robert was suddenly nervous, suddenly wondering what this news was all about.  
Loui rolled his eyes and sighed chewing on a pencil and signalling for grace to tell Robert. Grace bit her lip before turning to Robert.

  
"Adam Barton. He's been charged with arson." Grace let the words out quickly and suddenly Robert was staring at her wide eyed. The name rang a bell and quickly he realised that Aaron had told him that he _was_ the fire starter that night.

  
"What? What do you mean... _the_ fire?" Robert said as he looked at the others.

  
Grace nodded her head and then pulled her face as she saw Jensen standing by the door. Robert turned around and saw his face, pale and hollow. He looked ill, shaken slightly.

  
"What's that you said Grace?" Jensen said shakily as he walked towards them.

  
Grace cleared her throat, "Mr Adam Barton Sir...he has been changed with the arson attack on the garage...the one we originally believed Livesy had in fact started..."

  
"Believed! He did...he did...this lad is just -" Jensen never rose his voice, he was always laid back, always confident yet now he looked completely unsettled and Robert was noticing.

  
Liam shrugged his shoulders, "Well it dosent really matter does it eh? He's been charged, he confessed to it a few days ago...probably linked to all that harassment that twat caused for Livesy's mother...might've thought confessing would have helped. It added up too, told the police all about his motive..." He sounded annoyed but Robert didn't care, this was very good news for Aaron. He wasn't linked to this anymore, he had been proven innocent once again.

  
"What did he get?" Jensen added nervously making Robert frown slightly.

  
"He got...got six months." Grace sighed and suddenly Robert felt guilty.

  
Liam scoffed, "He'll be out in three!"

  
"Yeah well that's nothing to do with us now. Livesy wasn't apart of that fire so we can't keep publicising that, it's not fair." Robert held back slightly as he saw Loui look at him rather suspiciously and then suddenly Jensen was scoffing.

  
"What's not fair Sugden is the fact that a young boy has died in this matter." Jensen said more sternly than before, sighing hard and then walked towards his office "I'm sure the press will be here wondering what we have to say on the matter. Grace write something up for us will ya...make sure he dosent have an influence, we aren't apologising for anything."

  
Robert was stung by the words, wondering why exactly he was being pushed out for telling the truth. Grace gave him an apologetic look before moving towards her desk, Robert's eyes fell onto Jensen's office. He was on the phone, a small brick one and he was bent over on his desk. It wasn't his work phone, it wasn't his personal one, this one was different and suddenly Robert felt an odd feeling grow inside. He shook his head quickly before walking towards the office door and racing out of the building, something about chasing a lead had been used for an excuse and soon Robert was on route to a fancy looking hotel.

 

* * *

 

The hotel was larger and even more fancier that Robert had imagined, for a second he felt jealous thinking about the lifestyle Aaron might have lead with this Ed. But then he smiled and realised that Aaron must have left for some _reason_.

  
The woman at the reception had a kind smile and quickly helped Robert find the room in which Ed was staying in, she was babbling about how the 'fit rugby players were leaving for a training soon ahead of their match tomorrow'

Robert knocked on the hotel room and a few seconds later Ed was staring back at him, brown skin, black hair, muscles large and toned.

  
"Can I help ya mate?" Ed asked, his northern accent linked him to Aaron almost instantly.

  
Robert nodded his head quickly before producing his badge,  
"Detective Robert Sugden...mind if I ask you a few questions."

  
Ed darted his eyes slightly and then leaned in closer, "If this is about...about Aaron then -"

  
"I'm aware you have already talked to one of my colleagues...but we have had a problem...with the paper work and I was wondering if you could help...fill in the blanks if you will." Robert was acting cool and in control despite the fact that meeting Aaron's ex seemed odd.

  
Ed was too well mannered and polite to say no and soon Robert was sitting opposite him in his hotel room, even odder.

  
"So er...what do ya wanna know?" Ed said before playing with his hands.

  
Robert bit his lip, "Just a bit about how you know each other..."

  
"He was my boyfriend, for a while anyway." The words stung Robert somewhat, he was jealous and wished he could speak so freely about his affection and his relationship with Aaron.

  
"When did you two end things?" Robert asked cooly.

  
" _He_ ended things with me, nearly a year an a half we lasted before he left." Ed seemed sad about it and then again Robert seemed jealous.

  
"Why was that?" Robert wasn't supposed to ask questions like that.

  
Ed frowned slightly, "Said he missed home...that he felt suffocated. The good old it's not me its you excuse basically."

  
Robert nodded his head before smiling softly and trying to lighten the mood, "Mr Roberts I think I'm right in saying that you and Mr Livesy both left Emmerdale village after Mr Livesy confessed to arson and avoided court."

  
Ed nodded his head slowly.

  
"Well this morning we found out that a Mr Adam Barton confessed to the fire." Ed's eyes widened and suddenly he let out a long breath.

  
"Wow" he said gently leaning back "he should be able to go home now, not be on the run because of this stupid mess he's been dragged into it." He added bitterly.

  
"By 'mess' I assume you mean...the murder enquiry." Robert said as he shifted slightly causing Ed to nod his head and sigh, "He would never do something like that!" Ed said angrily.

  
Robert nodded his head slowly thankful that he wasn't sitting across an angry bitter ex. He suddenly realised why Aaron had fallen for such a gentle, kind man.

  
"I _know_ him, I _know_ how tortured he would be about doing something like that. He wouldn't be on the run...he would be straight to that police station and confessing, especially after Jackson...I _know_ him." Ed let out shakily before sighing and suddenly Robert's insides burst with jealousy. He hated how it was all true, how Aaron and Ed had seemingly had something _special_.

  
"You _knew_ him." Robert said bitterly.

  
Ed frowned, "He is a good lad alright, yeah I haven't seem him in a while but I know what he is capable of."

  
Robert cleared his throat somewhat angry that Ed had been with Aaron and heads him laugh with no worries of a case over his shoulders, saw him smile without any memory of burning cars in his way. It hurt.

  
"He _cant_ get sent down for this, it would end him." Ed said nervously.

  
Robert suddenly had an idea and looked towards Ed, "Well you know...the public have this image don't they..."

  
Ed frowned and Robert realised he had to goad him more.

  
"You know...this angry evil killer...no one has stepped out with a good word to say about him..." Robert said and then the clogs were grinding together in Ed's mind and he was looking at Robert.

  
"Are you suggesting that I contact the press?" Ed said slowly and suddenly Robert stood up and shook his head.

  
"Mr Roberts I am seemingly telling you that a man like you, successful, well known...speaking out about a wanted man and highlighting positive aspects about said wanted man's character...would _greatly_ impact the opinion on the er said wanted man." Robert said cooly and suddenly Ed was gulping and biting his lip, he understood exactly.

  
"What would my manager say though? Me speaking publicly about my ex who just so happens to be linked to a murder." Ed seemed panicked and then suddenly Robert was blinking softly and nodding his head as he walked towards the door, "Well er I'm sure you'll do what's right Mr Roberts."

  
Ed nodded slowly and Robert could see how easily he was changing his mind.

  
"Thank you for your time Sir." Robert smiled as he opened the door and walked towards the exit.

 

* * *

   
Robert wondered if Ed was bothered enough to help his ex, enough to risk some backlash for defending a suspect but he had hope. When he got back to the office Loui was patting him on the back and calling him over to his desk where Grace was smiling gleefully. His eyes searched for Jensen and he saw him crouched in his office still, only this time furiously tapping away on his laptop.

 

"Has he come out at all?" Robert wondered as he looked towards the closed office door and back to Loui.

  
"He's been doing some work, hasn't left at all." Loui said shutting his shoulders, "But anyway, guess what happened when you left?"

  
"The press came bombarding Grace" Robert said before frowning as he saw them shake their heads slightly.

  
"Well yeah they did but they had to rush off to someone, a journalist said they had to go quickly..."

  
"What then?" Robert asked slowly.

  
"An eye witness from Leeds has come forward, confirming that Harry and Harley were seen disposing of an object after she would hear them shouting and arguing a few meters away from her home"

  
This was _perfect_ evidence.

  
"What and she just came in?" Robert said eagerly.

  
Loui nodded his head, "Mrs Bythe has been in Turkey, came back and suddenly this was all over the news. She said she remembered hearing shouting, and arguing and then she went out to see what was going on...she saw one of them she said chucking something on the floor" he said quickly as he looked down at the statement she had made.

  
"Anything else?" Robert said even more eager.

  
"She said she got even closer...she knew something was happening and that she could remember a distinct tattoo, some sort of symbol she reckons on one of their lower backs." Grace said quickly.

  
"Good bloody eyesight." Loui chucked.

  
"It checks out Sir, according to the men we spoke to before, that Ste bloke has recalled that Harry most certainly has a circular symbol on his lower back. Chewed my ear off for about an hour telling me about how horrible it was" grace said beaming with pride.

  
Robert smiled back at her, "This is amazing!" he turned towards Jensen's office, "What's he had to say?"

  
Loui frowned softly, "He just got her details and said well done, haven't seen him since."

  
Robert nodded his head before smiling again.

  
"Well I'll go and see her tomorrow..." Robert said, "Why don't you two get off eh, have a drink on me." He added and saw Loui blush slightly, for a second Robert wondered if his best mate fancied the smart and gorgeous Grace and then he saw him smile at her and it was all but confirmed.

  
"Are you sure?" Grace said causing Robert to nod as he looked around and saw that Liam had already gone and the rest of them weren't around either.

 

Robert bought out his phone and texted Aaron.

 

**To Aaron:**

 

_Should be home soon, got anything in to eat?_

 

Robert couldn't hide his smile, how domestic he thought.

 

**From Aaron:**

_Yeah I'm sure I can cook you a nice little meal...if you deserve it. Do you?_

 

Robert licked his lips as he gathered his stuff together.

 

**To Aaron:**

_I sure do, I've been a very good boy today._

 

Robert gathered more of his files before pushing them into his bag.

 

**From Aaron:**

_Well then I might just need to thank you for being so good then..._

 

Robert could feel himself getting even more aroused by Aaron, it was overwhelming.

 

**From Aaron:**

_Hurry home..._

 

Robert caught his breath for a second, 'home'. _Their_ home. He couldn't help but feel his heart almost double in size, Aaron was calling Robert's flat _home_.

Robert smiled as he walked towards the door, shutting it behind him and then suddenly sighing as he realised he hadn't taken the purple file he needed. He barged through the door and then suddenly he could hear Jensen. His office door was open and he was on the phone again, the unfamiliar one.

 

"Yes- no- yes I'll sort it...I said I will -" Jensen sounded completely on edge, some sort of nervous wreck.

  
Robert stopped dead in his tracks as Jensen met his eyes and pulled the phone away from his ear.

  
"Sugden...what are you-" Jensen said nervously.

  
"I'm...I...just forget this" Robert said reaching for the colder and holding it tightly in his hands.

  
Jensen nodded quickly and cleared his throat.

  
"Very well then, goodnight son."

  
"Goodnight Sir." Robert said as he walked back towards the door and shut it behind him. 

  
He didn't know why he lingered but he did and then he heard it again, "I said I'll sort it...I'll make sure it dosent get out."

 

Robert pulled away and suddenly frowned. _What was he hiding?_ The entire day he seemed on edge, unsettled and now he was seemingly stopping something from _'getting out' by 'sorting it'_

  
It all seemed suspicious but Robert couldn't help but wonder if his detective personality, surely his _already_ suspicious sort of mind was just playing tricks on him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to be as a regular with these updates as humanely possible lol thanks for the patience! Xx


	22. Breaking news.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron kissed him again and struggled to speak, thankfully Robert was kissing him back and then sliding a hand towards the door and going, leaving Aaron touching his lips wondering if he would have said words he wasn't ready to say if he had stayed just a few seconds longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well look at me doing a another update fairly quickly after the other one! Direction continuation from the last chapter guys... <33

Aaron greeted him with a kiss, a long and lingering one that made Robert feel safe and loved. After the long day just being this close to Aaron made him smile, a delicate kiss and then a gentle stroke of his arm and he felt better.

  
"You alright?" Robert heard Aaron say as he walked back towards the kitchen.

  
"I am now..." Robert said coming up behind Aaron and gently placing his arms around Aaron's chest.

  
Aaron hummed softly playing with Robert's fingers before suddenly turning himself around.

  
"Did you see Ed?" Aaron asked nervously before pulling a face.

  
Robert nodded his head slowly, "Oh god...this isn't awkward then..." Aaron said chuckling slightly and causing Robert to smile.

  
"It wasn't _that_ awkward considering all he thought I was...was a detective."

  
Aaron smiled, something about the way he said 'all he thought' made butterflies almost burst inside Aaron, as if there was obviously something more - as if Robert was _obviously_ something more.

  
"How did he seem?" Aaron said nervously.

  
"Well I mean he stood up for you, he was saying how you weren't capable of that at all, you're a good lad apparently." Robert said seeing how Aaron suddenly relaxed.

  
Aaron let out a small sigh, "I thought he might've been as much of a prick as I was -"

  
Robert frowned, "How do ya mean?"

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "Sorta left one night and was too proud to go back...that's why I turn to all that shit." He mumbled.

  
"Well he didn't seem to bare a grudge or out." Robert said, "He wanted to help ya." He smiled.

  
Aaron blinked softly, "He's always wanted to...that's what I loved about him..." He didn't even mean to say the last part and then Robert was looking at him funnily.

  
Robert scoffed, "That and he's hot bod...all those muscles..." He almost growled as he leant in further to Aaron.

  
Aaron bit his lip and held Robert by the waist, "Well yeah that _did_ help slightly." He whispered before kissing Robert's mouth and leaning into him.

 

* * *

 

Aaron and Robert sat on the sofa, all the 'thank you's' had knackered them both out as they lay together. It was almost half ten when Robert absent mindedly picked up the remote and began changing the channels. That's when Aaron lifted his head, that's when Robert gulped hard.

 

**_'...And finally, the murder case of William Tenner has had some serious developments today...'_ **

 

Aaron looked at Robert wide eyed as he saw Robert turn up the volume.

 

**_'...Recent developments have confirmed that suspect Aaron Livesy is in fact innocent of a charge against him, that of arson. Which leads many to question what else the man is indeed innocent against...'_ **

 

Aaron gripped onto Robert's hand tighter not quite believing what he was believing. Robert gulped hard, he hadn't told Aaron about Adam yet, too nervous about what he would say and how he would react.

 

"How...how does -" Aaron asked turning to Robert and frowning.

  
Robert sighed softly, "Er...er okay don't...Adam...Adam Barton confessed to arson." 

  
Aaron could hear the words and suddenly he pulled away, "Adam? Adam! Robert's that's my best mate."

  
Robert bit his lip, "I know he is but...this is _good_. This is _exactly_ what we needed. He confessed."

  
"Why didn't you say _anything_?" Aaron said frowning slightly, "He's my best mate and he's been charged with arson!"

  
Robert shook his head slightly, "I...I didn't want to upset you."'

  
"How long did he get?" Aaron said as I'd he hadn't even heard Robert.

  
Robert sighed softly, "Six months."

  
Aaron's eyes widened, "Six months? Shit...shit this...I don't want this!"

  
"He'll be out in three..." Robert said lamely.

  
"No you don't understand, I left that village so that he could have a better life, so that he wasn't behind bars and now because of me he's had to confess!" Aaron felt his stomach tie into a knot slightly.

  
"Aaron what you did was fucking noble but...but Adam _did_ set fire to that garage, it's only right that he gets the blame and not you." Robert shook his head and sighed harder.

  
Aaron chewed his lip and suddenly his eyes were watering. _His_ best mate.

  
"I know...but it's just...." Robert rubbed his arm softly, "Tell me you'll...make sure he er...he dosen't get into any shit, please Robert."

  
Robert nodded his head, he had connections in Yorkshire that could keep an eye out for Adam.

 

_**'...Claire spoke to a detective in charge of the case today and the police did in fact confirm that Mr Livesy is not wanted in connection of arson anymore yet however still stress that finding him will 'help matters greatly' in terms of finding justice for William Tenner'** _

 

Robert smiled at Aaron, his heart was almost beating out of his chest as suddenly he saw Ed appear on the screen. Aaron gasped, actually gasped as he saw his ex. He hadn't seen him for so long, he looked so well, his hair slightly shorter than before but his eyes just as dark and intense.

 

**_'...To further develop the case, rugby star Ed Roberts had today spoken out about his relationship with Mr Livesy, arguing that his former boyfriend is being shown 'unfairly' by the press and that the police 'are chasing the wrong lead'. He further went on to add that Mr Livesy is a 'kind and good man, not capable of the crimes he is suspected of...'_ **

 

Aaron was practically shaking as he heard how lovely the words were, causing Robert to grip onto him a little tighter. He was so thankful he's words had changed his mind.

 

_**'Highlighting the fact that Mr Livesy would not be able to commit such a crime after events four years prior in which Mr Livesy preformed an act of assisted suicide on his then boyfriend. Mr Livesy was trailed for the said offence yet all charges were indeed dropped against him and he was found not guilty...'** _

 

Aaron suddenly pulled away from Robert, he wasn't expecting it to just come out like that, hearing about what he did still made him feel a bit sick. Robert pulled him closer again and this time Aaron didn't hesitate, his eyes were watery but he didn't want to cry.

 

**_'...with all these new discoveries, more questions must be answered by the police force, isn't that right Rose...'_ **

 

The woman on the television turned to her right and started talking to another woman.

 

**_'Well yes this discovery of an assisted suicide adds a level of sensitivity to the suspect dosent it? I mean what we have now is a man who is in fact on the run but not guilty of one of the crimes against him and is supported by the very well known and respected Rugby star Ed Roberts. We are actually discovering a much more human side to this 'violent thug' and I think it's safe to say that blame could very well be on another's shoulders like the other two suspects Harry and Harley Jones who have not been treated as poorly in the public eye.'_ **

 

Aaron couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe people were sticking up for him. Robert could have kissed that bloody Rose, she was making sense and then the woman was nodding and agreeing with her. Not for one second did he feel bad about the police force taking the brunt, or the way he would be viewed in the public eye.

 

"I can't believe it...they're...they're saying good stuff aren't they, you hear it too right?" Aaron said innocently as he stared at Robert eyes wide and big.

  
Robert moved closer towards him, "Aaron this is the start of everything starting to get better...things are going to work out."

  
Aaron was gone, a mess, crying his eyes out as Robert held onto him and let him sob.

 

**_'...I mean the responsibility must fall on Robert Sugden, the man in charge of the case, but let us not get into that...'_ **

 

Robert looked towards the television and then back towards Aaron. He gulped slightly and instantly rubbed Aaron's shoulder, he could already see the worry build in his eyes.

  
"I don't want this...I don't want you getting into trouble or...or anything Robert." Aaron said hating the way Robert was now the one being judged.

  
"I don't mind...I don't care Aaron." Robert said cooly.

  
"Well I _do_...your reputation is...is in trouble...your work...is in question because of me! Because of _me_!" Aaron didn't want anything to happen to Robert, the thought of him being seen as incapable made him feel angry and guilty.

  
Robert kissed Aaron's forehead and then looked down into his eyes, "Well I seem to think that _you_ or more _important_ than my reputation."

  
As soon as Robert said the words he had to sit back slightly, a month ago his reputation was all he had and now something else had taken over, something else was more important...something meant more, he valued Aaron more than how people thought of him.

  
Aaron's heart skipped a bit slightly as he saw how effected Robert seemed by his own words, he was suddenly looking at him and Aaron had to shy away a little bit.

  
"What?" Aaron mumbled softly.

  
Robert held out his hand, "What I said...I dunno...just saying it aloud made me realise how...how true it was. You mean everything to me Aaron." He whispered before suddenly seeing the look on Aaron's face, he was blushing and smiling and realising that Robert was trying to say the three words and not quite knowing how.

  
Aaron hugged Robert tightly like he had done that morning, kissing him softly and then whispering, "I know...you mean everything to me too...you'll never know how much."

  
Aaron kept his hold and Robert kept his, neither wanting to let the other go just yet.

 

* * *

   
The feel of Aaron's arms stretched around him in the morning almost made Robert melt, Aaron in the day wasn't needy and clingy and it was usually Robert trying to hold his hand and kiss him but in the night Aaron was all tight embraces and soft mumbles right into Robert's ear. Last night they had made love again, still feeling just as perfect as their first time, only just that slightly more reassuring. There was no wavering uncertainty of regret that the other would feel, no awkward silences as they drifted off and Robert was sure this was lasting love.

Aaron was sat on the sofa staring blankly at the television as he heard the news reporting even more about the case. Flashes of Ed's face came up, then his own, then a picture of Harry and Harley. He shuddered and looked away, he didn't want to have to see their faces again - _bastards_. The sight of them though had managed to unleash a sense of urgency in him as he dived into draws and fished out a notepad. The sound of the shower hissing told him that Robert was still in the shower and that he had time to write the whole confession letter to the police. He felt daft writing it, then slightly sick with dread as he began to go into detail about the night and the lead up. He winced as he wrote about how the air was filled with screams one minute and then silence the next, the memory haunted his mind. The next minute he knew he was being told to a burn a car, and writing that made Aaron shake his head. If only he had been braver, stood up to Harry and Harley and told them he wasn't going to help them no matter what. He probably would have given him a beaten, left him for dead but it would have stopped the feeling of guilt that he could never rid.

Robert studied Aaron from the doorway for a few seconds:  _Soft, kind, small yet stocky, brave, resilient._

"What are ya doing?" Robert mumbled as he walked towards Aaron, he was dressed and ready for work yet he didn't want to go. The thought of seeing Jensen suddenly made his stomach flip and he didn't know why, the phone call last night was strange and unnerving and he couldn't help but think that he wasn't supposed to hear any of it at all.

  
Aaron twisted his body around and smiled as he saw Robert in his nice little suit, "I just finished writing...that letter you said I should do..."

  
Robert moved further towards Aaron and kissed his forehead, wetting it with his lips slightly and then trailing a hand down to lock into Aaron's loose curls. The sound of the television added a low hum to the room and Robert turned towards it to see more news about the case.

  
"Thank you for doing it." Robert mumbled as he looked back at Aaron and then the television, "It's gonna help I promise, that along with that woman yesterday." Robert was keen to met this eye witness, just by looking at her he would be able to make an assumption about how reliable she actually was.

  
Aaron frowned softly, "What woman?"

  
Robert bit his lip and rubbed a hand over his face, telling Aaron would give him hope that things were even better but then not telling him would only make him think that Robert still didn't mind keeping secrets.

  
"Er well when I was interviewing Ed, a woman came forward...an eye witness practically swearing that she saw Harry chucking something away...looked like a weapon...she mentioned a tattoo, a weird one -"

  
Aaron turned slightly paler and nodded his head in agreement. He didn't want to think about the way Harry tried to show off about his shitty little tattoo as he drove in cars for Aaron to tear apart.

  
Aaron breathed out softly, "Yeah sounds like Harry..."

  
Robert nodded his head, "Well I'm seeing her today and it should make everyone at work realise that we need to act faster." Aaron smiled admiring the grit and determination in Robert's voice, he leaned over slightly pulling Robert towards him by his navy tie and kissing him hard on the lips before letting him go again. Robert didn't even have time to register what had happened, the butter life's had exploded again but then he was staring at Aaron's eyes and Robert's lips felt naked.

  
"I love it when you talk like that." Aaron practically growled as he tamed the confused expression on Robert's face.

  
Robert smiled raising an eyebrow and winking, "Really?" He whispered causing Aaron to nod his head, "Well then...in that case Livesy, I'll make sure my team of experts track down who we need to as quick as possible, eliminating any other potential suspects and finding justice and restoring the peace...sir." He let the words out as quickly as possible, purposely trying to act as professional as possible as he licked his lips.

  
Aaron's eyes widened, hearing Robert speak so matter of fact was a major turn on.

  
"Fuck me." Aaron blew out a breath as he laughed, not realising the phrase he used instead of something like 'oh my god'

  
Robert pulled a face, "I'd prefer it the other way round but..." Aaron blushed before tugging at Robert's blazer and then pulling away again as he realised Robert was going to be late.

  
Robert groaned as Aaron stood up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips and then trailing a hand down his suit.

  
"Sorry for crumbling it a bit." Aaron mumbled as he pressed down on Robert's blazer and resisted the urge to undo his buttons and drag him back to bed.

  
"Don't be daft." Robert smiled before looking down at the table and seeing the letter. It was almost burning a whole in the table with all its horrible content and the thought of taking it away from Aaron as soon as possible was overwhelming. Aaron studied the seriousness of Robert's expression, "What's wrong?" He asked softly.

  
Robert rippled his eyes away from the table and cleared his throat, "Er...I just er...the letter I should take it with me." He said quickly.

  
Aaron gulped hard,  
"Yeah..." He went to pick it up and gave it to Robert, "Here."

  
Robert knew he would have to read it and begged for it to be as matter of fact as possible but he knew Aaron now, he knew how emotional he was - 

  
"Did you say that Harry and Harley went to Germany?"

  
Aaron nodded his head and Robert sighed softly.

  
"Good, it's good that you're backing up our evidence. What about the whole dropping things against you if you keep helping?" Robert said urgently.

  
Aaron cleared his throat and moved past Robert suddenly feeling overwhelmed by what he was doing, confessing...telling the police _everything_. Robert frowned softly and grabbed Aaron's wrist to stop him from walking any further.

  
"I'm sorry." Robert mumbled, "I didn't mean to push it or anything, I know you want to forget..." Aaron twisted around and shook his head, "You're just trying to help...I did...I said that they have to stop coming after me 'cos I'm not the murderer here."

  
Robert breathed out slowly before walking towards the door with his bag, "I'll see ya later okay?" He didn't want to leave Aaron alone again, in that bloody flat, with those bloody walls and that television haunting him but he had to and Aaron understood that.

  
Aaron's eyes widened slightly, "Oh Robert." He said a little louder as Robert unlocked the door, "Can you make sure...you know that...that Adam is okay...maybe just check on him...or let someone check on him...I dunno..." Aaron hasn't stopped thinking about Adam, paying for the fire when he had done everything possible to avoid that from happening.

  
Robert nodded his head. He had contacts that could help him in Yorkshire, ones that would keep an eye out for Barton and make sure he dosen't get stirred down the wrong path.

  
"I have officers who will keep an eye out, make sure he stays out of anyone's way yeah?" Robert said as he watched Aaron's face get brighter, "I promise you Aaron, he'll be protected..." He added making Aaron practically race over towards him and hold him tightly nearly making Robert fall over.

  
"Thank you." Aaron whispered into Robert's ear, the thought of Adam being safe made him feel overwhelmingly safe too and of course it was all because of Robert.

  
Robert loved this feeling, loved being so appreciated and of course it was all because of Aaron.

  
"It's fine." Robert mumbled back into Aaron's neck.

  
"You didn't need to do that...you could have just said no." Aaron whispered again before pulling away and looking into Robert's eyes so green and wild and wonderful.

  
"He matters to you, so he matters to me.  Robert said softly shrugging his shoulders as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

  
_And because I would literally do anything for you..._

  
Aaron kissed him again and struggled to speak, thankfully Robert was kissing him back and then sliding a hand towards the door and going, leaving Aaron touching his lips wondering if he would have said words he wasn't ready to say if he had stayed just a few seconds longer.

 

* * *

 

The office was buzzing with the sound of Grace's high pitched voice and then Liam's low murmurs seemingly trying to calm her down. As soon as Robert entered the room he wished he hadn't come into work at all, Grace looked completely frazzled and even the soft smile Lilly gave Robert like always didn't seem to calm him down at all.

  
"What is going on?" Robert asked as he looked at Grace, her hair out of place and her face filled with worry.

  
Before she could answer Robert turned towards Jensen's office and frowned slightly as he realised that his chair was empty and the door was firmly shut.

  
"That...that woman last night...she's in the hospital!" Grace squealed causing Robert to stare wide eyed.

  
"What? Why? What's happened?" Robert spat out quickly as Liam moved in front of Grace followed by a sullen looking Aiden who was shaking his head.

  
"She had a car crash last night." Aiden said dryly, "So now we're back at square one."

  
Robert frowned hard not quite believing the bad luck he was facing, the day before she was going to see him and she crashes her car.

  
"Is...is she okay?" Robert said slightly calmer. Liam nodded his head, "She's in a coma. Medically induced but God knows when she'll be able to even bloody talk again."

  
Robert rolled his eyes and tutted hard, "Didn't you say that she...she made a stament? Can't we go by that?" He said quickly. 

  
Liam shook his head, "Jensen said there's no point, that we should shelf it until she's awake, _if_ she wakes up." He sighed hard and suddenly Loui appeared and Robert was turning away slightly. If Loui saw the look in Robert's eyes he would surely know something was really wrong, that Robert was crushed by the news that this major key witness couldn't help them and then he'd wonder why.

Robert had already said too much yesterday telling Loui that _someone_ had told him _something_ and that Aaron was innocent. He couldn't take that back but he could give him the confession later.

  
Robert looked towards Jensen's office before shooing the others away and attempting to open it, it was locked shut. Robert tried to peer into the room, search for the papers on his desk and work out what it all meant. He couldn't help but wonder why exactly Jensen would want to dismiss such a huge key part of their investigation into the Tenner murder. Then he could remember last night, what he had heard 'I'll sort it'.

 

Had he? Had Jensen _sorted_ out Mrs Bythe? The key witness? Robert pulled away, surely not. Why would he? What would be the point? Why would he _try_ to _ruin_ their progress. Robert shoved the thought out of his mind, this was Jensen. The man who Jensen admired, respected, looked up to. He was always there for him, a father figure who was most definitely on the right side of the law. So why did Robert still feel an unnerving feeling at the pit of his stomach.

Suddenly Loui was standing in front of him and Robert placed his hands down to his sides as he looked at him.

  
"What?" Robert said slowly causing Loui to look around the office and back at him.

  
"What you said yesterday, Robert what were you on about?" Loui said seriously making Robert pull away slightly.

  
Robert looked towards the others and bit his lip. He had to see Jensen before he did anything else.

  
"That can wait." Robert said quickly before attempting to walk back towards the others. Loui placed a hand on Robert's chest to stop him "I know you...and I know when something is wrong so just tell me. How do you know Livesy is innocent?"

  
Robert bit his lip and sighed, "Later. I promise." He whispered before suddenly Grace was calling Loui over and making him smile.

  
Robert breathed out slowly as he saw Loui almost forget everything and smile at Grace, "Someone's smitten." He said dryly before shoving Loui lightly, "I take it that drink last night was nice..."

  
Loui rolled his eyes and shoved Robert harder, "Yeah it did." He smiled before laughing as him and Robert walked back towards their desks. Things seemed better, less tense and Loui was always the one to make him feel better, maybe Loui was his Adam.

He made sure to call an old friend based near Emmerdale, spinning some story about owning Adam Barton a favour and telling him that he should make sure he isn't pushed about by the other lads. He instantly felt better when he ended the call but as Grace approached him he dropped his smile and let out a weak cough.

Liam followed behind her and let out a huge sigh that almost demanded to be questioned and made Robert roll his eyes.

  
"As if this day could get any worse!" Grace let out dryly causing Robert to frown.

  
"Why what else has happened?" Robert said irritated by the negativity.

  
Grace rolled her eyes and suddenly she was waving her arms around frantically, "Did you not see the news this morning?"

  
Liam suddenly scoffed, "And last night, Grace they mentioned you!" He was such a kid it hurt.

  
Grace tutted and then looked at Robert, "We look like fools Sugden...idiots that can't ever solve a case. And now Livesy has the backing of that rugby star!" she said quickly before Robert pushed an arm in front to stop her from saying any more.

  
"Alright alright okay I get it. That bloke didn't help us prove he was guilty but it has helped us realise that those brothers are what we should be focusing on a hell of a lot more than this bloke." Robert let out the words slowly and soon the others were nodding along as Loui squinted his eyes and went to speak.

  
Suddenly the doors flew open and Max came through the doors, faced flushed and red and eyes looking straight at Robert. In his hand was a newspaper, The Times and Robert rolled his eyes as he placed it on the table in front of the group.

  
"Well looks like you lot are doing a grand job eh." Max teased before pointing straight at the headline.

 

**'INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY?'**

 

Robert bit his lip as he gazed down and saw the writing practically bashing the police force for the way they had treated the case and Aaron in the public eye. His eyes burned as he saw his name written, he should have felt sad, upset, angry maybe but he didn't. All he felt was relieved that Aaron was becoming something of a victim in this whole mess, he wouldn't show Aaron though because he _knew_ he would hate himself and feel sick because he _wasn't_ a victim. Poor Will was.

"This is fucking perfect." Liam grunted and Grace practically stood there in tears. Robert ripped his eyes away from the paper and looked towards the group, "Listen to me okay, all we have to do now is make sure that we get the brothers okay. That woman might be in a coma but she gave us enough to go by, they _were_ there and they _did_ discard of something I'm sure of it." Robert wondered what Aaron would think of this serious tone and if he would be turned on, he shook his head instead of smiling.

  
Max slowly started clapping, his eyes filled with a hate Robert would never feel for anyone, "Well if you're sure of it than that's all they need right."

  
"They. Yes. You. No. So do one." Robert said sharply before turning round to the others and making sure they were feeling a bit more optimistic.

 

* * *

 

Aaron was practically clawing at the walls, there was only so much cleaning of surfaces and reading boring books he could manage. He felt like he was being suffocated, completely suffocated by the white walls and the soft curtains and the way everything had its place. He felt like screaming, like running away and just forgetting about just how trapped he was but then he couldn't leave Robert. The thought of not seeing him ever again was a scary one and it always made Aaron rationalise his ideas. Aaron walked towards the window and opened it slightly, he breathed in the fresh air the way he did almost every day and smiled as he felt the sun warm his skin. He sat by the window and watched the world go by as his hands began to dance in the cool breeze, the apartment was high enough for him to really look down and admire people without them seeing him. Sometimes he would sit and wait for Robert, watch him walk across the street and then pick up his pace almost skipping sometimes as he took the last few steps, as if he couldn't contain his excitement. Aaron always found it endearing, beautiful and heartwarming and he would smile and kiss Robert in return to tell him just how excited he was too.

When Robert had left that morning Aaron had a shiver down his spine and an empty feeling that made him want to race after him. He couldn't never tell Robert how lonely he was, how the time without him was almost unbearable, how the hours and hours of having no one to talk to killed him inside so much so that he-

"Hello, The Woolpack, Chas speaking..."

Aaron almost cried, he was hearing her voice and he was shaking all over. Just her voice, just hearing her voice made him this way. He held onto the wall to steady his breathing as he cried and practically panted down the line as he sobbed. The silence was quickly replaced with another, "Hello...any one there?" and then an inhale of breath, a sudden realisation and one soft whisper of a name "Aaron?"

Aaron held Robert's house phone in his hand, trembling as fear took over and he was suddenly hanging up the call and moving back towards the window to try and catch his breath. It aches, _ached_ to know that his mother had recognised him in only silence and sobs, they still had that _connection_ \- unwavering and beautiful and unquestionably _deep_.

Aaron suddenly opened the window further so that his head was fully out and the air was hitting him even harder - he was ridiculously lonely, floating somehow in a bubble not even Robert could burst.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think my lovelies, I'd love to know if people still are on board with this #motivation.


	23. Bad blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker stays on the run...I've got people who could find some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, sturdy evidence'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

Grace gave into the optimistic views that Robert fed about catching the right killers and somehow managed to speak to some German officers centred in Berlin who had started to help make news of two fugitives around the country more mainstream in the media. Robert had a smirk on his face as he heard the news but then Grace was telling someone else, from what Robert could here the reaction was hardly as happy as his was and as he tapped away the little voice in his head couldn't but wonder if it was...

"Well er I suppose that's er yeah well...well done there girl." Jensen let out stumbling on his words and avoiding the others as he bundled into his office.

  
Robert hadn't even looked up and saw his expression but from his voice laced with worry he knew something was going on. He still needed to confront him about the witness and now this, the thought made him scared of what the outcome could be.

Robert looked around the office and saw that no one else seemed to find his behaviour the slightest bit suspicious, the fact only enticed Robert's _need_ however.

The day came to a close pretty early and suddenly Grace was packing up her things and leaving along with Aiden and Liam and the rest of the team, all apart from Loui who seemed to be doing some work in the background of the office. Robert hovered over his phone and suddenly Aaron's number was on his screen, well Robert's old phone but still.

Robert gulped hard as he looked down and saw what he had said.

 

**From Aaron:**

 

_When are you coming back?_

 

Robert blinked softly something about the message made Aaron seem desperate, needy. It wasn't the flirty sort of message from yesterday this screamed 'I need you' and Robert felt guilty as he realised that he had to stay and speak to Jensen.

 

**To Aaron:**

 

_A bit later, eat without me._

 

Aaron bit his lip before pushing the phone down on the sofa, he didn't want to cry or feel sorry for himself but he couldn't help it - he just felt so alone, so damaged and broken and Chas' voice in his head just wouldn't stop. Aaron sat and sobbed feeling almost abandoned by everyone and everything, but the feeling would pass he thought, the dark thoughts would fade if only Robert came home.

Robert peered into the office and then suddenly looked towards Loui again, he seemed to be filing something away and he was wearing a pair of headphones that blocked him out of the room somewhat. Robert gulped hard, needing desperately to approach his boss about the eyewitness and all the secrecy behind the phone call from the night before.

Robert braced himself as he walked towards the office and then suddenly pulled back as he saw that the door to Jensen's office was open, open slightly and Robert could make out the conversation. He bent his head down as he tried not to be seen by his boss, the low mummers were getting louder, harsher and quicker.

  
"Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker _stays_ on the run...I've got people who could _find_ some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, _sturdy_ evidence." His voice was low and whispering harshly and suddenly Robert's heart began to beat faster and faster. It was true, he was right, shit.

  
He was talking about Aaron?

  
Robert gulped hard. The realisation that Aaron was probably being targeted from the inside made him feel sick. Jensen, his boss that he respected was bent? A bent copper? He had the confirmation and he hated it.

  
"Listen okay I sorted that out already didn't I. A coma? Yeah well that took it a bit far." Jensen sighed hard and then leaned further back in his chair, he sounded distressed and suddenly Robert felt ten times worse because everything was crashing down and falling and he hated it all.

He couldn't contain it anymore and suddenly Robert was pushing through the door and pointing directly at the man who he once respected and appreciated.

  
"You...you how the fuck _dare_ you." Robert never rose his voice like this, never swore around Jensen, he respected him too much.

  
Jensen stared at him completely startled as he dropped his phone, "Sugden...let me...let me explain!" He was babbling and Robert didn't want to hear a word.

  
"You're bent?" Robert let the words out shakily, the most damaging words a police officer could ever hear, the most dirty thing associated with people in the force.

  
Jensen shook his head and gulped hard, "No...no listen to me okay it's not how it seems-"

  
"You've been acting _strange_! Disappearing, sneaking about, locking your office and I _knew_ something was up and now I really do know...you've been tampering with the whole case!" Robert's blood was practically boiling as he stared at Jensen so blank and unmoved suddenly.

  
"Listen here son, you better cool it down." Jensen said sternly making Robert feel slightly inferior, he warned to storm out and race back to Aaron and hold him and promise to protect him but he needed to understand why.

  
"Cool it down? I've just heard ya tell someone that you're planning on...on getting fake evidence against Livesy." Robert spat the words quickly out of his mouth as he imagined damning evidence against Aaron, _his_ Aaron.

  
Jensen rubbed a hand over his head, "This case is a sinking ship Sugden, if we didn't do anything then...then...we'd look like even more prats!" He yelled and suddenly Robert squirmed as he saw the desperation in his voice.

  
"But the evidence...the witness...you're _sick_. Why did you arrange for her to be....to be hurt if ya say we...we...-"

  
"I didn't mean for her to get _that_ hurt." Jensen rubbed a hand over his cheek and shook his head slowly as he thought about it, "A coma." He whispered almost embarrassed by how far things had got, "She just needed to be stopped before you got to her....I didn't mean to..." He was a _mess_ of a man.

  
"I still don't understand..." Robert said as he looked straight into Jensen's eyes, "Why...why wouldn't you want her to give me evidence, we could have got them and wrapped up the case with that!" He shouted and suddenly Jensen went paler and whispered, "We can't get them...the boys..."

  
Robert frowned hard and suddenly backed away, "Why the _fuck_ not?" He took a sharp intake of breath, "Why are you _so_ intent on putting Livesy in the frame, making him the guilty one when all this evidence recently has practically told us to stay clear and _focus_ on the boys...?" This anger was all for Aaron's benefit and it was coursing through him furiously.

  
Jensen bit hard down on his lip and suddenly sighed hard, "Because we...we...just...I _can't_ go after them, I _can't._ " Robert shook his head, "Grace has leads, we have evidence, the bloody police force there are helping us, so tell me WHY?"

  
"BECAUSE THEY'D KILL ME!" Jensen's face turned a deep red and suddenly Robert could see veins popping and his eyes widen and his hands shake. "They'd kill me 'cos they know...they know all the other shit I've done Sugden...all the other trails I dodged and evidence I tampered with -"

  
Robert could hardly process it all, his mouth was somewhat dry but he still had to defend Aaron, _always_.

  
"Like that statement...Livesy's ex. I thought that was Max." Robert shook his head slowly.

  
"I had to take him off the case 'cos of all that harassment stuff, he was making it too obvious that we were after Livesy, I thought people would get suspicious." Jensen said bitterly.

  
"Kill you? They'd kill you...who...why....?" Robert moved closer almost whispering the words.

  
"I know Harry and Harley, since they were younger. Their dad and me were friends, he was a wrong 'un and I usually sorted him out right until I didn't, until he got in too deep and me being in the force didn't help as much as I thought. I promised him I'd look after his boys and then they saw I was attached to this case...they saw and they said that...that it was an accident...that they didn't meant to and that I had to help." Jensen said quickly as he tried to make sense.

  
Robert couldn't believe what he was hearing, "And what? You felt _sorry_ for them? They _killed_ a man and you felt _sorry_ for them?" He spat at Jensen.

  
Jensen turned paler, "At first okay yes...yes I did...they're just kids." Robert shook his head again, "But then...then I realised more about what happened to that poor lad and it wasn't an accident, they bloody caved his skull in and...and I couldn't defend _that_ but they didn't care....they told me they'd make sure everyone knew how bent I was if I didn't help." Jensen said stumbling on words and avoiding Robert's eyes.

  
Robert looked at his boss and then turned his head away, he felt sick thinking about how Jesnen could have easily ruined Aaron's life because he was too much of a coward.

  
"They'd kill me if they got found," Jensen said shakily, "Son you have to understand."

  
Robert shook his head hard, "How can I _understand_ this? You're willing to frame a bloke you _know_ is innocent in order to save your own skin!" He hated him now, he knew he loved Aaron, he was sure of it now, this feeling inside that felt this need to protect him was overwhelming.

  
"I don't have a choice, I can't...I can't -" Jensen suddenly looked up and saw the disgust in Robert's eyes, "Don't look at me like that." He spat.

  
"I respected you, I wanted to _be_ like you." Robert said slowly shaking his head and looking away.

  
"I made a mistake, one I can't control but that's it..." Jensen said coldly, "I know it's hard and I respect you for being the amazing detective you are but...but I will not, _not_ let you get in the way of this..." Jensen said suddenly rising to his feet.

  
Robert took a step back, "You really expect me to stand back and let you frame an innocent suspect?" _Not his Aaron, never his Aaron._

  
Jensen sighed, "I want you to help me Sugden. I _need_ your help, I can't _trust_ anyone else here." He darted his eyes harshly around the room.

  
The thought of helping Jensen made Robert's stomach churn wildly as the very thought of betraying Aaron began to fill his mind.

  
"I...Jensen...I'm not _bent._ " Robert said quickly before walking towards the door.

  
"Fine then." Jensen said racing towards the door and looking at Robert, "Just promise me you won't say anything...what do you care eh? I'll make sure that _you_ find the last puzzle to the piece to put Livesy away for good yeah. Hero of the hour again." Jensen said nervously, before slapping Robert's cheek lightly.

  
Robert squirmed away deciding that flying off the handle could end badly, he would have to play smartly now, undermine the entire operation and destroy any idea that Jensen was creating.

  
"Promise." Robert whispered before darting out of the room and grabbing his bag.

  
Loui caught his eye and suddenly raced towards him, "Now is later, tell me what you know." He whispered causing Robert to gulp hard. Suddenly he couldn't trust anyone, after finding out his boss was bent and had tampered countless cases in his career the thought of sharing Aaron's words with anyone in that dirty office was completely wrong. Not even Loui he thought.

  
"I can't...I can't do this now I'm sorry I need to leave." Robert babbled still in complete shock, hardly angry anymore and now just sad and almost devastated by the betrayal.

  
"Did something happen?" Loui said softly catching Robert's wrist and looking towards the office.

  
Robert opened his mouth slightly nearly ready to say everything Jensen had done, "He...he-"

  
Suddenly Jensen appeared from his office and crossed his eyes as he looked at his employers, "We just had a er little chat..." He said calmly, "Isn't that right?" He added as he looked at Robert and suddenly his eyes were filled with a malice that made Robert look away, "Yeah that's right." Robert whispered softly.

 

He didn't hang around for the awkwardness, he was out of the office and practically running home struggling to breathe.

 

* * *

 

Aaron heard the door open and instantly stopped crying, he was rubbing a hand over his eyes and cursing himself for the red marks around his eyes from how hard he had been. Robert suddenly looked towards Aaron, so small and fragile, a voice in his head screamed 'he's been crying' and making him feel overwhelmed with guilt. He wanted to hold him close but he couldn't, he had that feeling buried inside him - how could talk to him or the while knowing that his boss was planning on bringing him down. He could hardly met Aaron's eyes as he pulled his coat off and heard a sniffle.

"Have you eaten?" Robert asked and suddenly Aaron felt his distance, there was hardly any expression in his voice and it hurt because he needed to talk to him, to hold him close and feel him next to him until he fell asleep.

  
"I wasn't hungry." Aaron said slowly looking down at the sofa he was sitting on and then filling the air with a silence that haunted him.

  
_Come here and hold me._

  
Robert nodded his head, "Me either." He muttered before sighing and ripping his eyes away from Aaron and walking towards the bathroom.

  
"I think I'll just have a shower and head to bed." Robert whispered softly a hint of tiredness in his voice that made him seem weak as Aaron heard him.

  
Aaron turned his head around and opened in slightly, he _needed_ Robert after hours of having no one, hours of silence and feeling lonely.

  
"Robert....I need to talk to you..." Aaron whispered to the back of Robert, he couldn't see his facial expressions but the small intake of breath told him that Robert was against the idea. Aaron hated talking about things but the thought of not telling Robert how afraid and lonely he felt scared him, when he didn't express himself he usually hurt himself and he didn't want to go back to that place, that _terribly_ lonely place that he was nearly arriving at.

 

He needed Robert to pull him back.

  
"I...I'm having a really _bad_ day." Aaron let the words out softly, hoping that Robert understood what it meant.

 

_'Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker stays on the run...I've got people who could find some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, sturdy evidence.'_

 

Robert turned around sharply and scoffed, "Same here." He said more spitefully than he thought. Aaron frowned at him almost attempting to work out what was wrong and Robert ripped his eyes away.

  
"Robert." Aaron snapped, "Will you just listen -" Aaron almost begged and suddenly was looking straight into Robert.

  
_Don't let him get close, he'll know something is wrong._

  
"Not now okay...fuck can't...can't it wait." Robert mumbled hoping that Aaron would leave it and realise that he wasn't in the mood to talk.

 

Aaron was almost crying, almost but he didn't want to - not in front of Robert, not when he was in this mood.

  
"Robert I'm tryna...tryna tell you how I-" Aaron was suddenly angry now, his emotions were all over the place and he blamed the small space and the walls surrounding him but now he was blaming Robert for not seeming to give a _damn_ about his feelings at all.

  
Robert couldn't hear it, couldn't deal with hearing about how 'bad' Aaron was feeling because it would only make him feel worse about how things were going, how terrible he would feel and how he would not be able to do anything to help the person he cared most about in the world.

  
_'Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker stays on the run...I've got people who could find some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, sturdy evidence.'_

 

"I don't wanna hear it Aaron okay I'm sorry! I can't deal with that... _this_ shit at work and then come home to this too! What have you got to complain about eh! I'm the fucking one who has had a 'bad' day." Robert shouted the words and suddenly Aaron was right near him, trying to hold him and rubbing his arm because he realised that Robert was too stressed out for Aaron to be angry. He had obviously had a bad day at work, centred solely on Aaron himself and he hated that.

  
"I'm sorry." Aaron mumbled before rubbing Robert's arm and trying calm him down.

  
Robert hated hearing Aaron apologise for something he didn't have to, it wasn't his fault and now he was looking at him with his big blue eyes and Robert just _had_ to push him away.

  
"Don't say sorry!" Robert suddenly pushed Aaron away from him, shoving too hard and almost knocking Aaron over. Aaron stared up at him in shock before giving one last attempt and whispering, "Please". Robert shook his head as he heard the words again:

_'Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker stays on the run...I've got people who could find some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, sturdy evidence'_

  
He couldn't hurt Aaron but he was because he couldn't hold Aaron either.

  
"I just want to be left ALONE..." The words were practically daggers aimed straight to Aaron's heart and Robert was almost staggered by how harsh he had been.

  
_It's too late to make him see your sorry now, turn away and leave._

  
Aaron shook his head in disgust, in shock. He couldn't try any harder. He was suddenly sick of feeling guilty about making Robert stressed out, Robert had _chosen_ to help him, to kiss him, to sleep with him and to clear his name and he was _grateful_ , but he would not be in his debt a minute longer. He wanted Robert, _his_ Robert, the one that made him smile and laugh and feel safe not the one who wanted to be alone, to distance himself, the one who kept secrets.

  
"You want to be left alone? Well maybe I'm fucking _sick_ of being left alone! Maybe....I feel like I'm fucking suffocating, _suffocating_ and I _needed_ you and..." Aaron was a mess, unable to hold back his emotions and suddenly Robert was moving forward trying to hold him but Aaron was pushing him away, _shoving_ his love away and practically fighting off _all_ the affection Robert was trying to show.

  
Robert watched as Aaron raced past and slammed the door to their bedroom shut _tight_ , he half expected him to race out the door and the thought had made his heart practically _sink_ but he stayed and it hurt even more. Robert had seen the way Aaron's eyes had darted to the door and back again, heard the panting and the sobs as he contemplated running away from _everything_ but then he didn't and it killed Robert to think that Aaron only stayed because he _had_ to, not because he _wanted_ to.

 

Robert attempted to walk towards the bedroom and hold Aaron again, _try_ at _least_ but he couldn't.

 

_'Yes...listen we've not got him alright...and even if we don't, even if this fucker stays on the run...I've got people who could find some evidence if you know what I mean. Good, sturdy evidence'_

 

"I'm sorry." Robert whispered, hardly able to hear the words himself before he pulled on his coat and decided he needed a drink, or two, or three or four to forget it all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes #plot twist, Jensen is a wrong 'un, and yep so this argument was just bound to happen when I was writing. It was painful because poor baby Aaron just needs a hug and Robert is too overwhelmed to handle everything in his life right now but yes Aaron's feelings being addressed sorta needed to happen...strap in for angst...these boys are too passionate to leave things the way they are for too long...


	24. On the edge...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Life ain't fair son." Jensen chuckled coldly, "Remember what I said Sugden, and don't think about doing anything stupid." He said angrily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning there's a bit at the end about Aaron and a reference to self harm ;(

Aaron heard the door unlock and his heart was beating out of his chest, he hadn't slept last night, purposely leaving space for Robert to slide in next to him and wrap around him and whisper 'I'm sorry' so that Aaron's heart would warm again. Yet the coldness of the bed and the hours ticking by made him realise that he was kidding himself and that the feelings he felt weren't being reciprocated as much as he once thought. Robert didn't care, Robert was stressed and needed space and Aaron was everywhere he looked. Aaron hated that the most, knowing that he was suffocating Robert just as much as the walls were suffocating him.

Robert had slept in a hotel last night debating whether or not to go back home and try to make up with Aaron or not. He wanted to feel Aaron next to him desperately as he slept alone on the cold grubby sheets but the thought of stumbling home wrecking of boos somehow didn't seem okay.

He was late for work due to the fact that he had to go back to the flat and get all of his stuff, and now he was past caring looking around the flat and seeing how everything was just the same yet the atmosphere seemed different. Aaron wasn't sitting at the kitchen table like usual, the shower wasn't hissing nor the television humming and for a second Robert feared the worst.

He was panting and almost shaking with fear as he walked towards their bedroom and stopped, scared to see an empty bed.

 

"Aaron?" Robert let out with a shaky breath that made him almost weak.

  
Aaron bit his lip hearing Robert's shaky voice and how nervous he seemed, for a second he felt sorry for him and then he blocked out. Robert wanted to be alone so why was he now so worried about where he was?

  
Aaron suddenly busted the door open and walked past Robert, the action almost knocked Robert out - the sudden nature though made his heart return to normal.

  
Aaron hadn't left in the middle of the night, alone and vulnerable he had _stayed_ and that must count for _something_.

Robert couldn't help but follow Aaron, his feet were dragging towards him and admiring the way he looked. His hair was thick with curls, messy and sloppy. His eyes were soft and blue, hardly as bright as before as if the usual spark had been cut out.

The bags resting underneath told him that Aaron hadn't slept, maybe hasn't been sleeping and he felt racked with guilt again. He was playing with his fingers near the sink wearing one of Robert's old white tops and a pair of joggers that never suited Robert. Suddenly Robert gulped as Aaron met his eyes and gave him a sort of ' _what do you want?_ ' look that made him scared of how much damage last night had caused. He hated how he had shut Aaron down so harshly, putting his own feelings in front of Aaron's. He hadn't slept, still thinking about how Jesnen had been lying to him for months and how Aaron had this 'bad' day that he had totally dismissed.

The air was silent and Aaron shuffled on his feet before turning his back on Robert and putting the kettle on, purposely taking only one mug out and slamming it against the counter hard. Robert bit his lip realising that he had missed his chance to apologise and hating himself. He suddenly moved towards the bedroom and changed into a different suit, not showering and almost making a point that he didn't want to spend anymore time than absolutely necessary in Aaron's company. Aaron wanted to run after him, punch him on the arm and tell him he couldn't just get ready for work and ignore what happened - but he didn't. Instead Aaron poured out his kettle and sat on the sofa quietly making sure not to draw any attention to himself and the words from last night ringing in his ear _'I just want to be alone'_.

It still hurt, still stung and now it seemed that Robert _still_ felt that way. It was hardly the heat of the moment situation that Aaron had told himself as he waited for Robert to return last now. Maybe Robert had no intentions of trying to fix things, maybe he didn't even seem to think he had anything to fix in the first place.

Robert fixed his tie and then walked back into the living room to see Aaron sitting on the sofa not saying a word. The thought of leaving him when he was in that state made Robert want to forget about everything other than Aaron and how he felt about him. Nothing else should have mattered but it _did_. Jensen wanting him to help with his dodgy dealings, Loui pressuring him to bring forward this mystery evidence and now the worry of Aaron not coping for so long on his own.

Robert felt overwhelmed and suddenly the realisation that Aaron wasn't the only secure and stable thing in his life made him feel sick with fear. The small briefcase in the corner of the room caught Robert's eye and he reached out to get it, shoving his phone into one of the pockets and walking towards the door. Robert could almost feel Aaron's eyes burning into him as he opened the door and suddenly Aaron was praying.

  
_'Say goodbye...say I'll see you later._ '

  
Robert turned towards Aaron, _his_ Aaron and his heart started beating even faster as he saw the way his body was crouched over and he looked so small and worn down. Robert let out a shaky breath, "I'll see ya later." He whispered and suddenly Aaron didn't know how to react, he was biting his lip and nodding and feeling like a fool because just hearing the words made him have a little bit of hope that Robert actually _understood_. Maybe.

  
Robert blinked softly, his heart racing again as he looked towards the edge of the sofa and saw the small black bag Aaron had when he first arrived. The thought of Aaron leaving whilst he was at work made him almost never want to leave the flat again, he suddenly felt the need to hold Aaron close to him and forget about last night entirely.

  
"Aaron....you...you will be here when I get back...won't you?" Robert didn't want to show his emotions and suddenly he wished he could simply bit his lip and nod like Aaron seemed to do half the time but he couldn't, that seemed almost impossible.

  
Aaron looked up finally, his eyes meeting Robert's and seeing how green and beautiful they were, seeing the stress and the worry and the immense fear behind them. He cared, he would care if he upt and left (not that he was thinking of running). It made Aaron's heart almost double in size as he heard the way Robert's breathing became so erratic as the silence still filled the room and then...

  
"Of course." Aaron whispered, lingering for a few seconds before ripping his eyes away again and making it clear to Robert that he was _still_ upset, _still_ damaged by the words from last night and what happened.

 

* * *

 

Robert tried to avoid Jensen as best he could yet all he seemed to do was catch his attention as soon as he got to his desk. Loui was frowning in his direction, arms crossed and suddenly calling him over towards his desk.

  
"You alright?" Loui whispered instantly seeing how uneasy Robert looked. Before Robert could respond Liam was walking towards him looking glum.

  
"What's up with ya?" Loui mumbled hoping he would walk away.

  
"The force in Germany are either ignoring us or just being slow." Liam hissed as he slapped a hand down on the table "it's like they're not even getting our requests or summat"

  
Robert chewed his lip for a few seconds before darting his eyes towards Jensen's office and shaking his head. He was behind this, somehow slowing down communication, biding the killers time and making things worse. Suddenly it dawned on Robert, Jensen was willing to go to _great_ lengths to keep things sweet for the murderers to protect himself. Slowing down progress was just the start of his actions.

  
"Leave it with me." Robert muttered before slowly walking towards Jensen's office, not bothering to knock and leaving Loui perplexed.

 

"Sugden." Jensen said coldly as he heard the door slam behind Robert.

  
Robert met Jensen's eyes harshly and thoughts of last night and hurting Aaron began to make him feel even more angry. He had been stressed out, angry with this need to be alone, to distance himself from Aaron all because he couldn't bare what Jensen was going to do.

  
"I see you've already started then..." Robert said in disgust making Jensen frown, "With the whole drifting attention from the _real_ killers. What did you do eh? You got friends in high places when it comes to Germany?"

  
Jensen shook his head and leaned over, "You think any foreign calls of communication dosent get past me?" He said smugly making Robert look away.

  
"Grace and Liam have to let me sign it. I signed the first one that got the ball rolling, but that was it." Jensen said this time almost hanging his head in shame.

  
"What so you haven't been sending anymore?" Robert spat suddenly angry, "Grace was so happy about getting them on side, it was such a big deal for her and now you've ruined it"

  
Jensen rolled his eyes and sighed.

  
Robert looked at him and then shook his head as he realised how wrong he had been about him, "What's happened to ya?"

  
Jensen's eyes widened and he scoffed, "This is what happens when your past still wants to race but your feet are too tried to carry on." His heyes looked practically dead.

  
Robert moved closer to his boss, "There has to be another way, you can _stop_ this. You don't need to send an _innocent_ man to prison." The last few words plagued his mind and suddenly Jensen was pulling away and his face was stern and cold again.

  
"If they are found, if they are charged...I will be killed I'm sure of it...that or every dodgy thing I have ever done will be exposed and I'll be sharing a cell with one of them." Jensen practically spat the words out and aimed them as he saw Robert grow angrier.

  
"Where's the bloody proof!" Robert said quickly, his head was processing information better than it had done last night.

  
"They have stuff...names...people who I have... _helped_ out, all on this _phone."_ Jensen said clutching the brick phone in his hand "It's enough, trust me. You really think I'd be in this state if it wasn't enough to have me locked up?" Jensen shouted and suddenly Robert was looking towards the door to check if anyone was listening.

  
Jensen exhaled slowly, "I'm not asking you to give me a pat on the back son, I'm asking you to stay well clear and just let me do what I have to do" the way Jensen said the words made everything clearer for Robert, he was determined to do this and nothing he could do or say would change his boss' mind.

  
"If you don't stop this, I'll tell someone higher than you. I'll get you sacked Jensen and you know I will." Robert spat the words as he suddenly started to think about how to contact Mr Meadows...complaints officer.

  
Jensen scoffed, "You think they'd believe you? Over me? I've worked here for nearly thirty years, I've made the _right_ friends, in the _right_ places that could easily get you sacked for even speaking out against your superior. Don't play with me kid, I mean it. He spat the words, spat them straight at Robert and made his heart race wildly.

  
"Who isn't _fucking_ bent?" Robert couldn't help but think about every man over the age of forty being as corrupt as Jensen was.

  
It was Jensen's word against his own.

  
"And if you did even get to someone that...that I don't know, let's assume you actually file a complaint eh. I can make stuff up about you too mate." Jensen said with a sense of anger in his voice that shook Robert to the core. He didn't care about himself though, he cared about Aaron, _his_ Aaron.

  
Jensen suddenly walked towards Robert, "And it would take ages to actually set up a meeting, a proper one where we discuss these...empty claims. By then Livesy will be rotting in prison probably tryna top himself considering his _history._ " Robert wasn't thinking he was charging at Jensen and shoving him hard against the wall. Jensen inhaled sharply, his face turning red and then his eyes widened.

  
Robert couldn't bare it, he couldn't bare the thought of Aaron like that.

  
"He doesn't deserve this." Robert spat the words causing Jensen to scoff and pull himself away from Robert's grip.

  
"Life ain't fair son." Jensen chuckled coldly, "Remember what I said Sugden, and don't think about doing anything stupid." He said angrily.

 

Robert opened the door wide so that Jensen couldn't call him back and make him talk for longer. Robert was met with Loui's face, confused and laced with worry.

  
"I've had enough of all this lying...are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" Loui spat the words and suddenly Robert was pushing past him, grabbing his coat and making his way towards the exit so that he could go anywhere, so that he could clear his mind and breath again. He thought about ringing Aaron and then the thought of it not doing any good made him want to cry. The thought of Aaron not being his saving grace and somebody who didn't want to talk to him made him feel sick.

  
The feel of Loui pulling him back turned Robert around and suddenly Loui was all wide eyed and worried again.

  
"I _know_ something is up with Jensen...I _know_ okay and...and its eaten away at ya...I can tell." Loui said frantically, "Please Robert."

  
Robert was thinking, wondering, hoping and praying and then he was letting go...

  
"Jensen...he's bent and he's doing everything he can to tamper with the case and make sure the boys get away with it." Robert exhaled slowly as he saw the look on Loui's face, his own heart racing like made because he _wasn't_ meant to say that.

 

* * *

 

Aaron was feeling _bad_ again. Itching away at an old scar on his chest as he sat by the window, his only thoughts seemed to centre around the loneliness he was feeling, a feeling he would forever truly feel regardless of who was in his life and who wasn't. He would forever be lonely - _fact_.

  
Robert had given him hope that morning but not enough, not like all the other days where he would kiss him softly on the lips before leaving or hold him tightly and have Aaron fight him off in mock resistance playfully screaming 'you're gonna be late you twat!'

Aaron shuddered as he thought back to his lonely night, back to how Adam was in prison and his mum still thought about him, still recognised him from a sound over the phone. It hurt, Robert _hurt_ him and he couldn't escape it at all. Aaron's scratching around the old scar got worse, more furiously as he began to feel worse, feel even more trapped and useless and even the breeze hitting Aaron's face didn't calm him down.

He needed an escape, cleaning used to be one, he would _fill_ his senses with nothing but bleach and the need to make whatever stain vanish from the surface and that would help, that would make hours roll by until Robert jingled his keys and he could see his face: beautiful and filled with freckles that Aaron would kiss until his lips felt _numb_.

Then it was cooking, he would cook, cook something nice for Robert and instantly feel like he was providing something apart from his body and that would help, it would make him _fill_ somewhat whole, somewhat needed and valued and he would love the way Robert would clean his plate and kiss Aaron tha fully and make him smile.

Day by day though energy seemed to evaporate and the need to escape increased yet the actual attempts dissolved. He had felt that way for a few days, only smiling and coming alive whenever Robert was home, he would kiss him and hold him tightly and he would be thankful that Robert would never ask him questions about what he had been up to. He didn't want him to know how low he could get but last night when he finally had done, when it had all nearly came out, Robert's reaction had crushed him to the core and made him _slither_ back into his shell doubting everything he thought about _them_.

The breeze hit Aaron that little bit harder and caught his attention, he suddenly pulled his arm away from his chest and noticed the blood on his top in the reflection of the window in front of him, mocking him as he realised that he had picked too much at his scar and had made it _bleed_.

  
"Fuck." Aaron growled as he pulled the top off and traced a hand over the scar. He hadn't meant to make himself bleed, it wasn't like that. He wasn't self harming or trying to at all. It _was_ an accident.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the longest of chapters but right in the middle of exams so I'm hoping you lot still don't mind reading even if it isn't that long! Tell me what you think you lovely lot ;)


	25. Crumbling down.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert wasn't expecting this, a cold shoulder and a groan of anger yes but not this. Not Aaron so closed off in body language but his voice so open like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You patient Angels, this is a direct continuation of the last chapter <333 lil warning that there is reference to self harm.

Loui frowned at Robert harshly, "I'm sorry what the hell did you just say?" He said with such panic in his voice.

  
Robert rolled his eyes, he could hardly take back his words now.

  
"Just come with me...I'll explain." Robert muttered as he dragged Loui's arm and pulled him towards a small coffee shop near their office.

  
Loui was still in shock as Robert sat himself down after ordering him and his best mate a coffee.

  
"Think I need something stronger." Loui muttered softly cashing Robert to smile weakly.

  
"Listen okay I know it's a lot to take in." Robert whispered as he leaned in, "I only found out yesterday..." He added quickly.

  
Loui nodded his head, "I still don't understand why though... _why_ is he protecting them?"

  
Robert gulped hard, "It's a long story." He whispered before sipping at his coffee, "Dates back to their dad. Jensen and him were mates and these lads reckon that Jensen owes them or summat."

  
Loui widened his eyes, "So because they say jump, Jensen all of a sudden says how high?" He said loud enough for Robert to add a 'shh' in between his words.

  
"It's not that simple. I told you...he's bent. He has been for years and they seem to know all about it." Robert sighed hard thinking about how stupid his boss was.

  
Loui craned his neck, "So they're threatening him?"

  
Robert nodded his head, "He reckons they'd have him locked up and then most likely killed if they are found by us."

  
Loui sat in silence for a second before widening his eyes and slamming down on the table, "So that's why the German officials have suddenly stopped contact with us?" Robert nodded his head slowly, "That _bastard_...Grace was so pleased with herself about getting them to cooperate." Loui added before shaking his head in anger.

  
"I know..." Robert mumbled before looking down and sighing, "He's a bloody _bastard._ " He added.

  
"Why haven't you told Meadows?" Loui said quickly causing Robert to shake his head and sigh because 'even fucking meadows'.

  
"Not him too!"

  
"Listen even if I complain, he's smart, he'll bring me down with him and make stuff up against me to get me inside..."

  
Loui shook his head, "I'll help ya, back you up if it comes to that."

  
Robert shook his head, "No." He didn't want Loui to get sacked because of him, "They'd ruin ya too, I don't want that Loui." He sighed hard causing Loui to reluctantly nod his head.

  
Loui traced the mug of his coffee, "So what is he planning on doing?" He said coldly.

  
Robert thought about his plan and it made his stomach flip slightly, "Blaming the only other man in the frame." He spat as he saw Loui look up at him and frown hard.

  
"Livesy?" Loui said quickly causing Robert to nod, "Yeah...Livesy." even his name made Robert feel guilty.

  
"But he _knows_ he is innocent!" Loui said frustrated by it all.

  
Robert moved closer and suddenly the thought of Aaron _really_ getting blamed for Will's murder made him feel sick.

  
"He...he's innocent...vulnerable...scared...and-and he's gonna frame him. We can't... _I_ can't...let him get sent down, I can't have that on my conscious and neither can you." Robert poured out his feelings to his best friend as if they were discussing something like his love life, the irony in the thought made him want to run away but he could see the concern on Loui's face and how _genuine_ the expression seemed.

  
Loui gulped hard, "You're right." He whispered.

  
Robert leaned over, "I know I am...we can't let this happen Loui, are you gonna help me?" He whispered back and suddenly Loui was nodding and his shoulders were relaxing.

 

At least someone understood.

 

* * *

 

Robert had to get away, rush home after spending nearly two hours chatting away with Loui and that cafe. He instantly knew something was wrong as he approached the flats, he never usually did but today he looked up towards his own flat window and frowned as he realised the lights weren't on. The amber glow that usually met his eye wasn't there anymore, it was dark and almost eerie.

Robert's heart was beating out of his chest, Aaron hadn't gone, he was still there because he practically promised that morning didn't he? Robert gulped hard as he unlocked the door and suddenly his eyes widened, adjusting to the darkness and trying to see where Aaron was. Walking further towards the sofa Robert's eyes drifted to the corner of the room, the corner where Aaron had previously sobbed his heart out in such a panic when he hard that it was known he was in London. The memory sent a shiver down Robert's spine and instantly he was rushing over and lifting Aaron's head up softly. He had been crying, Robert could tell and the pain in his heart almost doubled in size.

  
"Hey." Robert whispered attempting to touch him but stopping as he saw how closed off Aaron appeared.

  
Aaron looked up slowly and stared at Robert, instantly feeling like a fool because he had a breakdown, been a mess and almost uncontrollably so for hours after he had managed to make himself bleed. The gravity hit him violently as he saw the blood, and it was almost like he was back there again, back to the days where  _that_ was the way Aaron coped and that made him feel sick.

  
"You're home." Aaron whispered, almost in a daze.

  
Robert knew something was wrong, he just _knew_. 

"Yeah...yeah, just a bit earlier - I'm sorry I didn't ring." Robert said softly realising that he was kneeling down and talking to Aaron as if he was a child.

  
Aaron's eyes darted towards the kitchen, the dishes he hadn't washed.

  
_How useless are you?_

  
"I....I didn't...I didn't make anything-" Aaron said panicking slightly.

  
Robert tried to lean in closer but something stopped him as if Aaron's expression was saying ' _stay where you are_ '.

  
"Oi don't be silly." Robert whispered as Aaron nodded his head and sniffed away his emotions.

  
Robert wasn't expecting this, a cold shoulder and a groan of anger yes but not this. Not Aaron so closed off in body language but his voice so open like this.

  
Aaron fidgeted slightly as he leaned against the wall and looked up at Robert who was about to say something.

  
"Aaron...about last night..." Robert mumbled and instantly Aaron was shaking his head.

  
_No more bad memories._

  
"I don't want to talk about it." Aaron said sharply, almost pleading but Robert couldn't ignore it. It had destroyed a part of them and he knew it.

  
"Well we have to." Robert sighed, "I didn't mean what I said...I don't want to be alone...I hate being alone and I have been for too long, until...until you came along eh." He whispered suddenly having tears in his eyes and welling up quicker than he wanted to.

  
Aaron wanted to kiss him, kiss him some more and hold him and hug him tightly until everything went away but then he could feel Robert leaning closer and he pulled away. The blood on his top, if Robert saw it all he would think differently of him, he would pity him and want to hold him close until his heart burst.

  
Robert craned his neck as he saw Aaron's face become filled with worry, "What's wrong...what's...Aaron? Aaron I said I'm sorry." He mumbled, he hated the rejection.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I forgive you..." He whispered, half lying because it still hurt but he knew Robert was sorry.

  
Robert leaned in closer and hesitated as he felt the dampness in Aaron's hair, "Then why don't you want me close to you...like _this_?"

  
Aaron let a tear roll down his face.

  
_Don't let him get too close, don't let him see who you are...what you do..._

  
Aaron looked away from Robert, "You hurt me...what you said." He mumbled realising that this route would distract Robert.

  
Robert nodded his head and gulped, his eyes big and free and filled with guilt.

  
"I said I'm sorry Aaron, hoods I'm being serious here," Robert tried to make him smile, it worked slightly because Aaron was remembering the way Robert had kept on referring to him as hoods because of his attachment to his black hoddie. Robert would tease him about wearing it to bed and Aaron was purposely pull his hood up for a few seconds teasing Robert right back and turning his back against any idea of kisses before sleep.

  
Aaron wished he could hold him, he didn't.

  
Robert bit his lip realising that something darker was wrong with Aaron. He was having a 'bad' day again, whatever that meant. His eyes suddenly shifted towards the their room, it was closed shut as if Aaron was keeping something hidden. Instantly he knew Aaron had been effected by something else, almost shaken.

  
"Aaron....what's wrong?" Robert almost pleaded and without thinking held Aaron's shaking fist.

  
Aaron looked up and tried to push it away but he couldn't, it steadied him.

  
"Nothing, I'm fine okay." Aaron mumbled before wiping his face and putting his head towards the floor.

  
"Please Aaron, _please_ don't shut me out...I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I shut you out last night when you needed me, don't punish me now though, don't block me out when you _need_ me now, when...when I could help you...don't be on your own." Robert made an attempt to place a hand on Aaron's chest and suddenly everything that Robert had said meant nothing to Aaron.

He had come to close, he had nearly felt it, seen it.

  
"Get off of me!" Aaron was streaming with tears as he saw Robert's face filled with shock, "Just get the fuck off me and leave me alone! I'm used to it, I've even alone for years and not even you can help okay!" He hated himself.

Robert shuddered softly before clambering to his feet and running a hand through his hair. As he stared down at Aaron he wondered how things got so wrong so quickly, how their honeymoon phase had turned to tatters within a few days. How two days ago Aaron was making him moan and groan with pleasure, holding him close and filling him inside. Now he barely wanted to touch him.

 

* * *

 

Robert walked towards the door of their bedroom before slumping back on the bed, he cried like a _bitch_ for a few minutes letting it all out and then walked towards the draws so he could stare at Savannah and cry some more. He had cried over her many a times, he had made her cry even more. He had pushed her away, shrugged off her scares at the start about being pregnant. He had been in this same position, he had pushed her away and then begged her to open up and she had reacted the same as Aaron. Fuck you never learn Sugden.

Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, a top, Aaron's, well his but Aaron's, navy, the one he had worn that morning, it was crumpled and...blood?

He didn't think, he was racing back towards the living room and Aaron had moved towards the sofa blaring the television and trying to make it all go away. Aaron didn't see Robert standing over him until he felt his bloody shirt fall in his lap and then Robert's eyes were filled with tears. _Fuck._

"Are you gonna tell me what happend?" Robert's breath was shaky, he knew, he knew Aaron's history and his self harm and he hated himself for missing signs.

  
Aaron breathed in softly and then looked at Robert,  
"I...I cut myself -" he trembled slightly as he looked at the top, why the _fuck_ had he left it around so carelessly.

  
Robert's eyes widened, "Let me guess...you were making yourself lunch and then bang..." His voice was filled with anger and hurt and pain not meant for Aaron but meant for himself, how hadn't he noticed?

  
Aaron knew Robert knew and he wanted to run as far as he could, he felt almost suffocated again, not by the walls, not by the curtains but by Robert himself and the the way he saw straight through him.

  
"Is that why you freaked out when I touched your chest? You had self harmed again?" Robert was panicky, so scared, so worried.

  
Aaron hated how concerned Robert seemed, they were _that_ _deep_ now and it scared him because Robert so _desperately_ wanted to help him.

  
"No, no it wasn't like that okay." Aaron mumbled as he thought about it, "I just, I was getting a bit overwhelmed and I started scratching away at an old scar okay." He felt embarrassed and suddenly shied away from Robert's soft touch on his shoulder.  
Robert breathed out a massive sigh of relief as he leaned across and tried to kiss Aaron's forehead, Aaron edged away and it hurt again.

  
"I'm just tryna help you Aaron, in the past - well you know I messed up and I couldn't bare doing the same mistakes with you" Robert was pouring out everything and Aaron just wanted to hug him but he couldn't, they were in too deep and he was so scared.

  
Aaron looked up at Robert, "I'm not _her_ Robert, I'm not Savannah." He rose to his feet and walked away from Robert.

  
Robert's heart rate increased, her name was too precious to be tossed around.

  
"Don't -" Robert let out in a small breath.

  
Aaron gripped hold of the kitchen sink and bit down on his lip, "You're tryna do right by me because you think that...that it will make up for you abandoning her at the start."

  
Robert shook his head and pulled away not believing how it sounded.

  
"That isn't true," it was all he could say, he felt almost crushed by how the conversation had changed.

  
Aaron sniffed, "How isn't it? You pushed her away and now you are tryna make it up with the next needy one who turns to you." He spat the words out as the thought 'you're not fucking special' circled his mind.

  
Robert shook his head and suddenly looked towards Aaron and tried to make him _see_ what he was doing to him! to _them_.  
" _Stop_..." Robert sighed softly as he bit his lip and breathed out softly.

  
Aaron sighed hard and shook his head, "I'm not an experiment Robert....I'm not just someone to make you feel less like _shit_ for your mistakes." Aaron shuddered wondering if he had pushed Robert over the edge yet.

  
Robert suddenly stood up, "I said _stop_!" He shouted suddenly inches away from Aaron, "I know what you're tryna do and it isn't working. You're fucking scared 'cos I'm helping ya and you don't know how to accept that somebody might just fucking lo-" he cut himself of as he saw the look on Aaron's face almost saying: _please don't say you love me because I might not say it back._

  
Robert pulled away, the look on Aaron's face was practically burning into Robert's memory.

  
"How can't you see that I'm tryna save you from -"

  
Aaron suddenly pushed an arm out, "You don't have to _save_ me Robert -"

  
Robert's blood was boiling with anger and hurt. Aaron had cut him off like he was nothing, nothing at all. As if what he was doing for him meant just that too. It killed but Robert couldn't let Aaron see his pain so he scoffed loudly instead of cried,  
"That's fantastic! Cheers, thanks for saying that after I've spent weeks... _weeks_ doing nothing but try and _save_ you." The last part was shaky and Aaron could see Robert's pain and his stomach flipped uncontrollably.

  
Aaron bit his lip, he didn't want to hurt him but he was, he was _killing_ him and it scared him even more because all he could see was the raw emotions that Robert felt for him, how effected Robert was by Aaron as if he was intoxicated, addicted to him and his issues. He was staring at Robert and seeing someone who was completely different than the sharp, well together man he had first encountered. Aaron squirmed, as he realised that he had been ripping pieces of Robert off every single day, he had been breaking him and he couldn't stop.

  
"Robert -"

  
Robert shook his head, "Everything I do is for YOU!" He shouted, pulling himself away from the mess they both had created.

  
Aaron's lips were trembling as he heard the words that cut through him.

  
"I've fucked up Aaron, fucked up just like you have in the past, so I've tried everything to make you feel safe, happy..."

  
Robert was sobbing his heart out, his back towards Aaron so that he couldn't see. Aaron hated himself for making Robert this hurt, this effected and distraught by his own destructive behaviour. Robert needed a way out, he had to break the feelings he knew Robert had for him. He had to break his heart.

  
Aaron panted quickly, "Well I'm not her, you don't need to make me happy Robert 'cos I'm just me. You can't compare what you felt for her...to what you feel for me."

  
Robert kept his back to him.

  
_I can, I do..._

  
"It's not like you _love_ me...it's not like...like we _love_ each other." Aaron let another tear roll down his check fully aware he had punctured the silence and Robert was turning around sharply avoiding Aaron's eyes because they both _knew_ , they _both_ understood what had just been said.

  
_Lies lies lies._

  
Aaron sniffed, "Be honest, you helped me because I gave ya a blow job the first night I came here." He scoffed slightly and attempted to smile, lighten the mood, "And you wanted me like that, just so happens I had a tragic past and I needed you...that's all it was. That's all... _this_ is." He mumbled softly, he _really_ hated himself now.

  
Robert couldn't believe it, Aaron was pulling and pushing and Robert was standing still - punctured and bruised by the words he had to accept. He was a fool to think, to wish, to wonder that they could be together properly after everything. If Aaron had ever agreed he had been kidding himself too.

  
"You're right." Robert said coldly and then Aaron's eyes all blue and big were staring into his soul almost screaming 'did you mean that?' and Robert was nodding his head and adding, "I should go," and walking towards the door. Aaron attempted to pull at his arm, to say something, to give Robert the chance to fight for him but why should he?

Why should Robert fight for nothing?

  
Aaron quickly held onto Robert's face and stared into his eyes, "Say something Rob..." _Let him go._ I can't.

  
Robert nearly gave in, nearly crumpled at his feet and begged Aaron to see what they had but he didn't. He couldn't. Aaron closed his eyes almost giving up as he leant against Robert's forehead.

  
"I..." Robert let out shakily before looking down at Aaron and ripping the last part of his heart as he added, "Fuck you Aaron, fuck you for doing this to me..." Before slamming the door behind him and racing down the road, tears streaming down his face and a broken heart had seemed to become his new look.

 

* * *

 

Aaron stood dead for a few seconds, shaking and trembling with a fear that consumed him entirely, a fear that practically made him double over in pain. The fear of losing Robert. He had _pushed_ him so hard! made him believe his lies and shattered his heart.

  
Robert had walked away with that usual twinkle, brightness in his eyes completely faded. He had been broken because Aaron had let him go. Instantly Aaron's breathing became more erratic, he had _tried_ to spare Robert's feelings by letting him go yet he had made it worse. Robert without him was worse than Robert with him. Aaron bit his lip hard and stared at the door, he had made Robert laugh, he had made him open up and be happy sometimes, _he_ had caused someone's happiness. Along with his pain, like just now.

  
_You change that, you can make him smile like no one else can._

Aaron shuddered suddenly everything flashed in front of Aaron, all the memories filled with happiness and trust just shattered by him all at once. He was battling himself as he stood there in the dark.

  
_Let him go, you hurt him, you make him cry._

  
_Get him back, you make him smile, you make him happy._

 

Aaron's eyes lingered at the door handle, _he had let him go - he was bad news, too damaged for Robert to handle._

 

Aaron walked towards the door, _he couldn't let him go - he could make him happy, make him feel like a better man._

 

Aaron twisted the handle as his heart pounded against his chest and he raced out into the dead of night, _he wouldn't let him go - a future without him made him want to cry._

 

Robert was half way up the street, defeated and in tears, an emotional wreck of a man who could hardly control what was happening in his life at the moment. He wanted to run away, to leave everything behind and forget the bad memories, but he couldn't because something stopped him, someone....always someone...always-

Robert could hear him, he was sure of it, he could hear him shout 'Robert' and it warmed his heart because despite it not being true and it all being in his head it somehow helped him.

 

But then it was louder, more like Aaron's voice, human and not in his head and Robert couldn't help but maybe...maybe humour himself and turn around and peer back towards the street black and eerie in the dark night and maybe see-

"Aaron." Robert whispered catching his breath as he saw Aaron running towards him, he was out of the flat, he was in the middle of the street and then his arms were around Robert's neck and holding him tighter than he had ever done before.

  
Robert staggered back not quite believing that Aaron had left the flat, risked everything for _him_.

  
"Aaron...." Robert mumbled as he felt Aaron tighten his grip and shake into him.

  
Aaron couldn't describe how he felt, he hadn't ever realised what he was doing when he raced down the stairs and went to find Robert. Him being caught hadn't ever crossed his mind, it didn't matter.

  
"Someone might....Aaron go back inside it isn't safe." Robert said pulling away and seeing how nervous Aaron appeared.

  
Aaron pulled a face, "You think I fucking care about that? I just needed to hold you and say -"

  
Robert's eyes widened as he saw how hard it was for Aaron to express himself without crying his eyes out or punching a wall.

  
"Tell me you didn't mean it." Robert whispered into Aaron, he needed to know that Aaron thought of them as something more, as _anything_ more.

  
Aaron held Robert's face softly and made sure he was staring directly into his eyes, "Listen to me. Look at me....I didn't mean anything I said...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...I just....lashed out." He said frantically as he saw Robert ease slightly, "I was selfish...and I needed ya...needed ya to tell me I was wrong but I pushed ya too far. I didn't want you to leave, I'm just scared, I'm so scared and you agreed and I was scared even more." He added and suddenly Robert was gripping him even closer and rubbing away his tears.

  
Robert's heart was breaking as he saw just how scared Aaron was.

  
"I didn't agree, I was just saying what I thought you wanted to hear." Robert whispered softly, not an ounce of anger laced in his voice.

  
"I didn't mean it Robert, I'm sorry...please don't go...please don't leave me -" Aaron gripped onto Robert and held him close, "I _need_ ya...please...I couldn't bare it if ya left...if...please, don't give up on me -"

  
Instinct took over, instinct to hold him close and ease his suffering and soon Robert's lips were on Aaron's and pulling him against his body and pouring himself into him, just _all_ of him.

  
Aaron suddenly looked into Robert's eyes, so green and filled with this love that made him whole.

  
"Even now?" Aaron mumbled wondering why Robert had kissed him, "Even after what I said? How I pushed you away?" He added with a whisper.

  
Robert shook his head, "You have no idea...Aaron....no idea..." He couldn't say the rest.

  
Aaron lingered near Robert for a few seconds and then slowly began to shiver.

  
"Hey," Robert said as he rubbed Aaron's arm, "You must be freezing, let's get you inside." He said gently.

  
Aaron looked towards the flat and bit his lip, the fresh air was treating him well and he wanted to savour it all.

  
"Can we go somewhere?" Aaron whispered before leaning towards Robert and smiling.

  
Robert frowned, "What now?"

  
Aaron nodded his head and grabbed Robert's hand, "I just want to be somewhere with you, anywhere...just somewhere alone when everyone else sleeps...just me and you..."

  
It seemed so romantic and almost nearly disguised the fact that it was all because Aaron was on the run and they couldn't afford to go at any other time than the dead of night.

  
Robert squeezed Aaron's hand back and winked, "Come on hoods...we've got 'anywhere' to be."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to focus more on the boys here and how much their relationship is like a rollercoaster ride of crazy emotions, the next chapter is really all about them and their feelings and it's FLUFF!


	26. Calm before the storm...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn't have much longer, they both didn't want it to end - not their night together that they needed, not their special moment at this freezing beach with the sea and the sand and the fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff.

 The fresh air almost lit up Aaron's face and Robert couldn't help but smile as he looked across and saw _his_ Aaron relaxed, content, unwound. They had somehow ended up at a beach, climbing railings like kids and playing in the sand for a few minutes before falling back and twirling themselves up in each other playfully as they rested.

Everything was so still, so quiet and only the sound of the hushing sea filled the air. Aaron was resting on Robert's lap and staring up at the sky, black and beautiful and scattered with stars that made him gasp in awe like a ten year old. Robert smirked as he saw how happy he seemed, how just being away from the strains of that fucking life they had to lead made him instantly better, lighter even.

It hurt him to think that this happiness would disappear as quickly as the moon when morning came. They would have to race back before anyone came looking round and saw two lovers laying in the sand, hands draped around each other and sleeping soundly to the sound of the sea.

Robert could feel Aaron's breathing, slow and solid and suddenly an arm was stretching out and holding him by his chest.

Robert half expected an elbow to the ribs but Aaron simply tensed slightly.

  
"Sorry," Robert muttered, his hand still lingering  "I shouldn't have snapped at ya like that." He whispered into Aaron's ear almost making him melt.

  
"I shouldn't have expected you to...to just be fine with it." Aaron mumbled as he held Robert's hand, "But I promise I didn't mean to - to hurt meself...I just -" he said quickly.

  
Robert gently pulled a hand down across Aaron's arm, "I believe ya." He said gently, "I'm sorry for just jumping to conclusions."

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "I don't blame ya...I mean considering how I felt-"

  
Robert frowned softly, "I should have known. I should have _tried_ to help." He said frustrated.

  
Aaron shook his head and kissed the middle of Robert's hand.

  
"You couldn't have...it was just me, me being me...I sometimes get like that." Aaron said slowly pulling back slightly as he felt the way Robert's body tensed as if it was the most natural thing to happen to someone. Almost as if Aaron was used to dealing with his 'bad' days all by himself.

  
"Lonely?" Robert asked trying to affirm what was said, desperately wanting to understand.

  
Aaron gulped hard, "Being on the run sorta makes ya that way." He mumbled before kissing Robert's hand again.

  
Robert pulled Aaron's face towards his own suddenly almost making Aaron fall over and hearing him mutter 'steady on!' as he looked him in the eyes.

  
"Well I'm gonna make sure ya never feel lonely again, ever feel...alone and like you have no one....you _always_ have me."

  
Aaron hesitated to speak the words getting jumbled in his mind as he thought about it all, he believed every word and that scared him.

  
"That's what I'm scared of." Aaron whispered not quite believing that he had said that fear aloud.

  
Robert frowned softly, "What?" He muttered as he saw Aaron suddenly pull away and climb off him so that he was walking towards the sea.

  
"Forget I said out " Aaron whispered to Robert but it was too late, Robert was racing behind him catching him at his waist and pulling him close.

  
"Aaron what are you scared of?" Robert almost pleaded as he leaned closer "Aaron-"

  
Aaron sighed hard, "Believing you... _believing_ that you will be there for me _always_ , I'm not supposed to have something so secure like that in my life..."

  
Robert's heart almost broke in half, seeing the way Aaron seemed to fear what he felt and the way Robert would always stand by him made him think about the future...a future without what they had now...without a threat of a case over them and it seemed brighter.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders, "Well tough," he chuckled as he saw Aaron smile weakly.

  
Aaron's eyes darted towards the sea and the sand and then back at Robert, all his favourite things...

  
"Even...if...if you help with the case...if you get me off the hook and that is sorted out, even after that...are we gonna...you can't think that you could, would still want to be there for me." Aaron hated these dark insecurities but they needed to be addressed.

  
Robert shook his head and pulled Aaron closer, lingering at his lips before simply saying, "Trust me Aaron....I'll know...I'll always know" Robert was looking straight into Aaron's eyes so big and green and filled with this desperate need of reassurance that Robert so greatly wanted to supply.

  
Aaron's eyes lingered towards Robert's lips and longed to touch them as his body craved Robert and made sure their faces were only inches apart from each other.

  
"You...you can't be sure Robert, you can't be certain -" Aaron said shakily as his eyes met Robert's.

  
Robert was staring at Aaron and wondering just how blind he was, how he couldn't understand what he was say trying to say and suddenly his lips were on Aaron's, gently peppering delicate kisses again and again.

Robert singing inside as he kissed him by the sea wanting to be loved, hoping Aaron wanted to be loved and realising that he was _falling_ in love, in a way that he had never felt before, nothing compared to that _very_ moment.

  
Robert pulled away from Aaron, panting slightly and his eyes transfixed onto Aaron's.

  
"That's why I'm sure..." Robert said gently lifting a hand towards Aaron's cheek, "I'm certain I'm _always_ going to be there for you, because I know I'm _always_ going to...to _love_ you Aaron..." He let it all out, Aaron had him, _all_ of him.

  
Aaron shuddered as he heard his words and suddenly he was hugging him and never wanting to forget how delicate the moment was between them, so honest and pure it all seemed right there on a beach they had driven hours to find and _kiss_ on and... _confess_ how they feel.

  
"I'm in love with you, and I'm fucking scared too." Robert whispered into Aaron's neck and then pulled away as he saw Aaron with tears in his eyes, his voice shaky as he said  "I've been in love with you since we kissed for the first time, since you...you looked at me like I was worth _something_...but I was scared." Aaron whispered back as Robert suddenly kissed his forehead and lingered for a few seconds.

  
Aaron sniffed softly "You told me not kiss ya again remember? And then suddenly I just wanted ya..." He said smiling and making Robert laugh because he was remembering the way he had pushed Aaron away and told him to say 'thank you' with words rather than actions.

  
Aaron sniffed again  "Then tonight when I couldn't let you go, I knew I did even more, I didn't care if the police were waiting outside for me, you were more important, you were the only thing that mattered."

  
Robert couldn't believe how he was feeling, how complete he could feel despite the mess of his life, all because he was _loved_. He was _loved_ by someone again and it felt insanely beautiful, sacred and almost untouchable by any other shit Robert was feeling.

 

He had Aaron, and Aaron most certainly had him.

 

* * *

 

They didn't have much longer, they both didn't want it to end - not thier night together that they needed, not their special moment at this freezing beach with the sea and the sand and the fresh air. 

  
"I don't need to be scared." Aaron whispered as he rested a hand on Robert's chest. "Do I?" He added staring into Robert's eyes and begging him to answer.

  
Robert looked towards his right where Aaron was laying and quickly shook his head, "Of me? Never...and never of _us_ , never of what _we_ have either," he whispered as he moved on top of Aaron and slowly began to kiss his neck making Aaron moan slightly as he felt Robert's hot skin touch his own.

  
Robert looked up at Aaron quickly, "You just...you can't push me away like you did though Aaron, I need ya to be able to turn to me when you need me." He whispered and suddenly Aaron was nodding his head.

  
Aaron stroked Robert's face, "I can't help it sometimes...I'm sorry...I'm sorry for what I said too -"

  
Robert bit his lip and wondered if Aaron would ever forgive himself for what he said about Savannah, "You didn't mean it." 

 

Aaron's eyes widened as he shook his head, "I know...but I shouldn't have mentioned her like that, it was insensitive and cruel." He had felt like taking it back the minute he had said it, it _killed_ him.

  
Robert kissed Aaron's nose gently "I forgive you," Aaron turned away slightly and Robert pulled him back with his hand "Honest...I know you didn't think what you said, classic Aaron tryna stop anyone getting close." He mumbled before kissing Aaron's shoulder blade and then looking up at him.

  
Aaron craned his neck, "Sorta a default thingy " he mumbled as Robert frowned. "Pushing people away, no one has _ever_ wanted to save me, help me like you...I'm not used to it." He whispered feeling embarrassed.

  
Robert stared at Aaron and his heart raced louder, he believed every word and that hurt even more. The sea was crashing against the shore and the sand was soft against Robert's weight as he looked at Aaron and thought about how rare this moment was, Aaron was _opening_ up and Robert was soaking it all up.

  
"Sometimes I...I try and push my luck...see how far I could go because surely I'm not worth it, I'm not worth the hassle, I've heard it so many times.." Aaron's expression changed entirely, the amount of times circled his mind and it _hurt_ but Robert was holding onto him and his eyes were wider than before.

  
"Well you're worth it to me, you're with every _fucking_ tear Hoods." Robert said with a tender severity that shook Aaron.

  
Aaron wanted to kiss him, he did, softly on the cheek before looking back at him.

  
"Tonight was me pushing ya away and...and praying you wouldn't believe me..." Aaron mumbled as he trailed a hand down Robert's chest.

  
Robert grabbed Aaron's wrist "I was gonna turn back...I wasn't gonna leave ya Aaron." He whispered because he wasn't going to keep on walking forever down that road, he was going to turn back and hide his pain and try again.

  
"You shouldn't have to put up with that," Aaron moaned, "On top of everything else you're doing for me, you don't need me piling on the stress with me trying to push ya as far as I can...just because I was scared." He added as Robert held him closer and kissed him gently before snaking a hand over his waist.

  
Aaron suddenly looked at Robert glumly, "I'm so _hard_ to love aren't I?' He whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek as he thought about how terrible he was when it came to relationships and the four letter word.

  
Aaron whispered words made Robert frown and then shake his head quickly. He didn't have to think about that at all.

  
"Aaron," Robert whispered as he rubbed away Aaron's tear and smiled softly, "Loving you is the most _passionate_ , _crazy_ , _overwhelming_ thing to do." He chuckled causing Aaron to roll his eyes and smile weakly. Robert inhaled quickly before leaning so that his face was inches from Aaron's  "But also the most easiest thing to do in the world." It was true, loving Aaron had such a simplicity behind it that overruled every decision he made.

  
Aaron's heart fluttered, the most kindest loving words he had ever heard has just melted his insides and turned him into a mess. He loved Robert, more than anyone had ever loved.

  
Robert smiled weakly seeing Aaron's emotions get the better of him was something he would never get used to. Seeing this harsh cold exterior physically melt into this pool of warm fuzziness made his heart smile, only he saw Aaron like this, only ever him.

 

* * *

 

Robert trailed a hand down Aaron's arm and moaned softly as he felt Aaron kiss his neck softly, the way he did when he wanted something more. Robert shuddered, he needed to feel Aaron again, he missed him and the thought of not being _this_ close to him after what they had confessed made him want to cry.

  
Aaron wasn't pulling away, hardly batting Robert's hands off his neck as he continued to kiss bruises as then trail a hand towards his front. Robert inhaled as he felt Aaron tense and suddenly his eyes looked towards his chest and then back up at Robert "I trust you" he mumbled and Robert couldn't help but kiss him hard in the lips and then tug at his shirt, lifting it up as he licked Aaron's front up and down and then planted hot kisses all over him. Aaron groaned as he felt the way Robert admired him, _wanted_ him, _needed_ him.

He had _never_ felt more...more needed by anyone, not this passionately. Aaron's breathing grew more intense as Robert lowered himself and suddenly he was whispering "I _need_ you" as he pulled down Aaron's trousers and then his pants so that he could admire him.

  
The wind suddenly picked up and Robert chuckled suddenly as he saw Aaron wince.

  
"What?" Aaron growled as he saw Robert smiling below him.

  
"You're fucking freezing but you still have a hard on." Robert laughed before assuming his position, licking Aaron up and down before adding "No wonder why I love you." He growled before picking up the pace and moving _hard_ and _faster_ , using his hands to take Aaron over the edge and then draw him in _again_ and then _out_ and then _in_ \- teasing him again and _again_ until Aaron moaned out, "Will you finish off mate I'm catching a fucking cold!"

  
Robert rolled his head back and smiled before pulling Aaron inside him fully and then suddenly Aaron was pushing against him and panting hard and whispering "Fuck...fuck...rob-". Robert kept on taking Aaron in, all the way he thought until suddenly he could taste all of Aaron and he could hear Aaron panting "Fuck I love you". Aaron was exhausted but he couldn't _not_ kiss Robert after he had said the words so effortlessly. 

Robert moaned into the kiss before suddenly undoing his own belt and pulling out his hard cock desperate to be held. Aaron licked his lips and wondered if Robert was planning on dealing with it himself, he rolled his head back and shuddered as he saw Robert take himself in his hand and gently rub up and down.

Aaron couldn't resist pinning him down onto the sand "My fucking hair Aaron!" Robert growled nearly loosing concentration as he panted and then felt Aaron kiss his neck which only made it easier for him to build up inside.

  
"Am I helping..." Aaron growled as he looked down towards Robert's hard cock, Robert's hands wrapped around it and moving faster as Robert nodded.

  
"Keep talking." Robert moaned as he moved towards Aaron and kissed him hardly.

  
Aaron licked his lips and suddenly didn't know what to say "Am...I helping...your...your thick...needy -" Robert groaned as he heard Aaron whisper into his ear.

Aaron bit his lip "Fuck this is sexy...you're so fucking sexy." He whispered as he suddenly couldn't resist helping Robert who was so close, who's speed was faster.

Robert shuddered as he felt Aaron around him, just one of his hands touching his cock and then calling out "Robert..." wanting to say the three words again but hesitating and then Robert came, shooting out messing before shaking whispering "I know, I know," because he did, he would always know now.

 

* * *

 

Aaron's hands found Robert's hair and he laughed suddenly.

  
"What?" Robert asked quickly as he looked at Aaron and smiled.

  
Aaron rolled his head back and shook Robert's hair with one hand whisky covering Robert's eyes with the other and letting all the sand fall out.

  
"Urgh." Robert moaned as he felt if all come out "Is there anymore?"

  
Aaron bit his lip and then smiled as he pulled his hand away from Robert's eyes, "It'll have to do." He whispered before suddenly lingering towards Robert's lips, "That's what you get when you get all _freaky_ at the beach." He mumbled before kissing him hard.

  
Robert chuckled as Aaron pulled away and looked at him lovingly, "Tell me it will be like this _always_...one day..." He whispered as he held onto Robert. It was perfect, it all seemed perfect because they were in this bubble and it was almost like a fantasy, too good to be true.

  
Robert kissed Aaron's forehead and thought about careless nights on the beach and kisses in the dark and I love you's that melted their hearts.

  
"It will." Robert gulped before kissing him again  "I promise." He whispered "After the case, after we're free we will be like this, just _you_  and _me_."

  
The thought made their hearts flutter and suddenly Robert was thinking about how he and Loui could stop all this false evidence, how he would definitely show Loui the letter of confession tomorrow and how Jensen would have to see sense and let the boys be found. He would threaten him if he had to, he would blackmail him, record him confessing to what he has done and then get Aaron in the clear. All respect for the man had been damaged by the secrecy and spoilt by the lies and there was no going back now.

  
Aaron was his priority, Aaron was the man he _loved_ , the man who _loved_ _him_ and he would do _everything_ to make them get that future they both  _wanted_ , _needed_ and after everything that had both been through individually as well as together, both _deserved_.

Robert smiled into Aaron's big blue eyes, tousling his hand and shaking off the sand he had in it.

  
"Come on you," he whispered as he cupped Aaron's face and watched Aaron shut his eyes as he smiled "Let's get us home eh." He added causing Aaron to nod his head before pulling Robert to his feet and walking back with him towards the car hand in hand.

 

 _Home_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how inconsistent these damn updates are but some good news is that it's all planned and ready to write, in terms of the ending and all that so depending on the chapter lengths this fic should be done in about seven chapters I think. Hope you enjoyed some of this fluff...it's about to get even more complicated.


	27. Suspicious minds.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's eyes flickered, SIM card, dodgy phone - enough to put Jesnen inside for a long time.

Robert was hardly certain of anything anymore, after what had happened over the past few days how the hell could he be, yet waking up besides Aaron, his arm begging Robert to pull him closer made his heart swell in size. At least he had Aaron, would always be certain of Aaron. Last night he had told Aaron he loved him, he did and it was a scary thought but not one he could ever dream about running away from. The feeling had somehow been able to drive the thought of leaving to the front of his mind, leaving everything behind and being with Aaron, _just_ Aaron.

He had enough money and contacts to make it happen, to be _able_ to leave with Aaron and just _disappear_ without anyone stopping them. He would, he would go with Aaron if it wasn't for Loui now he knew about Jensen and was determined to stop him. He had to stay with him and sort it all out and clear Aaron's name, he just _had_ to find a way to _stop_ Jensen and keep Aaron in the dark about it all happening. Telling Aaron about how _determined_ someone was to _frame_ him would possibly push Aaron over the edge, he could end up broken again like the night before and that would _kill_ Robert.

Aaron groaned softly as he woke next to Robert, his arms were still tangled around Robert and he couldn't believe how good it felt to be held by him, by Robert, by this aloof and cold to look at yet warm and friendly man that _cared_ so much.

  
"Morning." Robert begged to touch Aaron for longer, gently stoking his arm and then staring at him with his eyes big and wanting. He could see the way Aaron was looking back, this muddled mess of a man with floppy hair and bright eyes that seemed more at peace than ever before.

Robert was certain yesterday had marked a change in their relationship, whatever that really meant considering the fact that although it was clear that they _loved_ each other, they were hardly _dating_. Robert hardly dated, when he did he usually got bored, he hadn't dated Savannah as such and yet he had fell in love with her...there was most definitely a pattern.

  
Aaron smiled as he felt Robert run a hand through his hair "No sand?" He asked as Robert began ruffling the curls.

  
Robert shook his head and sighed "No..." He mumbled before seeing the way his face almost look brighter "That fresh air did you good." He announced gently.

  
Aaron moved his hand up to Robert's and kissed him lightly "I wish we could have stayed there all night..." He whispered.

  
Robert thought about what he had said last night about one day them being like that all the time, laying on the beach somehow just overwhelmed in happiness.

  
Aaron kissed Robert's hand again, this time pulling him closer and breathing softly into his neck to make him let out a small shiver, Aaron's hand fell lower as he _slid_ down Robert's thigh and caught his breath.

  
"Sorry," Aaron pulled away quickly, his hands dragging away from Robert's body, "You've got work..."

  
Robert groaned at the thought of seeing Jensen sitting there at his desk clicking away at his laptop as he tried to cover it all up. Loui would surely want to speak to him too about it all, encourage them to both _try_ their luck with someone in the force.

  
"Don't remind me..." Robert let out a shaky breath as he looked away from Aaron and moved up on the bed, pulling the covers off him and sitting up completely. Aaron frowned as he saw Robert staring out the window, the very mention of work had soured the moment and Aaron couldn't help but feel that feeling again because once again he was ruining things and making Robert anxious.

  
Aaron was suddenly wrapping his arms around Robert, hugging him from behind and kissing his shoulders softly, "I'm sorry..."

  
Robert was almost _dragged_ from his thoughts as he heard Aaron's voice, so soft and gentle in his ear, "What for?"

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "I hate how I've made you _hate_ your job."

  
Robert turned sharply and let out a small sigh because he used to love his job, the job that gave him purpose but now that was tarnished wasn't it? Not because of Aaron though, never.

  
"I know this...you won't understand but it isn't you Aaron."

  
Aaron frowned softly as he let an arm drop over Robert's shoulder so that he was fully spinning him around "What is there to _understand_?"

  
Robert gulped hard because he could see the panic rising in Aaron's eyes.

  
"Nothing." Robert mumbled getting to his feet and walking towards the draws so that he could 'busy' himself looking for socks.

  
"Have you seen my black socks, the ones with the strips?"

  
"Robert don't just-"

  
Robert heaved slightly as he pulled out another draw fully rummaging through and making his avoidance of Aaron's words reasonably noticeable.

  
"I mean they were in here last time I checked..."

  
Robert tensed slightly as he felt Aaron walking towards him, pulling and arm to Robert's waist and circling his soft skin with his index finger, "Something has happened hasn't it?" He was worried, Robert was distant and he couldn't help but wonder what had happened to make Robert want to be distracted.

  
Robert smiled weakly almost trying to please Aaron, always _trying_.

  
"What since I woke up?" Robert let out with a small shaky laugh and Aaron was almost smiling back, _believing_.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders feeling like he was loosing whatever was jape ending and wanting to cave "It was just when I mentioned work...like the other night when you said you had a bad day and -"

  
Robert was kissing him, softly at first. One of those little kisses that made his heart skip slightly but then Aaron was looking at him as if to say 'I needed that' and Robert's lips were pressing even _harder_ against Aaron's, pushing and tugging and then breaking away.

 

"I'm fine, everything's fine...please don't worry" Robert's face said it all, he was almost _begging_ Aaron to accept it and Aaron was weak, always this weird weak when it came to Robert because despite himself he was nodding his head and stroking Robert's arm and mumbling "I can't help but worry...but if you say everything's okay then -"

  
"There's no point." Robert cut in, deliberately because he could almost feel the worry growing again, creeping over Aaron and making him that nervous broken person that Robert was all too familiar with.

  
Aaron's hand rested against Robert's chest as he leaned into him and held tightly, an 'I love you' would have been honest and true he thought but instead he settled for his arms almost instinctively tighter. He could hardly breathe but that didn't matter, he usually felt like that whenever he was holding Robert.

 

* * *

 

Robert approached the office nervously, the entire journey there had been filled with ignoring calls from Loui, one after another after another and Robert felt almost suffocoated by the constant 'Reject' button being hit by him.

  
The office was almost empty, that made it worse because Jensen would be able to spot him more easily. Robert's hands were sweating as he approached his desk and sat down, he usually received some sort of update by Grace or some negativity from Liam in the mooring but a note telling him that there was an appeal by the victims parents made it clear where they were.

Robert's jaw tightened as he looked towards Jensen's office, he was there, hunched over and looking tired and worn. Good. The thought of Jensen anywhere near the appeal that morning made him feel sick, he still couldn't believe it all, couldn't wrap his head around the fact that someone he admired could be so different, the opposite of what he had thought for so long. 

Cunning not fair. Harsh not gentle. Ruthless not determined.

Robert's thoughts were interrupted by Loui, he was inches from his face yet still whispering as if anyone would hear him.

  
"I've been ringing you all morning." Loui mumbled before sliding on the the seat opposite Robert and pulling it closer.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders "I've had a lot on my mind, sorry," he whispered back before thinking of Aaron, wondering how he was because despite the long kiss they had shared as Robert stood lingering by the door a few hours ago it still hadn't taken away that 'What if?' feeling surfacing.

What if Aaron would lay broken and defeated for hours until he came home? What if, despite Robert _loving_ Aaron and telling him, it wasn't enough for the 'bad days' to keep on coming?

  
Loui scoffed "Yeah me too." He pulled a face as if to say 'really?' and Robert was rolling his eyes.

  
"Look mate you _asked._ " Robert let out with a hard sigh, his eyes darting towards the room Jensen was sitting in.

  
Loui chewed over the words and hesitated before leaning forward, "Robert what are we gonna do?"

  
Robert had repeated the words thousands of time, circling around in his mind as he lay awake thinking _hard_ and hating Jensen from making it all worse, all _that_ bit tricker to reach just a _fucking_ glimmer of happiness.

  
"We can't wait it out, I know that much...he's already stopping things, shutting everything down and -"

  
Loui mumbled something Robert couldn't hear and somehow he was grateful because he couldn't deal with the negativity of his words, not when he _had_ to somehow find a way to solve it all.

  
Loui's eyes flickered suddenly, his eyes widening and then falling onto Robert's bag, the satchel battered and almost torn from the years of paper shoved unkindly in the folds almost every day.

  
"You said you knew Livesy didn't do it, you said you had something -" the hope was practically radiating from Loui, blinding Robert in the process because the thought of Aaron's letter finally being seen was almost taking a bit of Aaron and throwing him into the flames. Almost like watching parts of him burn through the fire and begging someone, Loui to pull him out and dust him off and catch the pieces that made sense, that could _help_.

  
Robert tensed, thinking about how easily he would have been able to pass it over eagerly a few days ago made him want to hold onto it even more - slightly selfishly the thought of Loui reading about what Aaron went through, _his_ Aaron, made him feel this protective need to shield Aaron. Loui was his best friend but he was also a detective, he wouldn't understand and he'd poke at the truth until Robert couldn't stand it and he'd say too much.

  
Robert stared blankly at Loui, just waiting because he could tell he wasn't finished.

  
"If you _know_ Livesy didn't do it, if we make that public than there's no way Jensen's fake evidence would stick, he'd look like a right twat still chasing after nothing when two other suspects are out there."

  
Robert his lip hard, nearly _bleeding_. It made sense, it made sense but Jensen was clever, too clever.

  
Loui looked at Robert harder as if he warned to shake him "Robert?"

  
Robert hesitated before his eyes were drawn past Loui and falling on Jensen standing by his office, arms crossed over and a small frown lacing his expression as he looked over at Robert.

  
"Er Sugden mind if I have a word?" it was an order, Loui had his back to Jensen so only Robert could see the raised eyebrows and the nod that accompanied the 'question'.

  
Robert gulped hard "Course not." He mumbled as he stood up and walked towards Jensen, eyes trying to keep strong, mind wandering onto Aaron hoping he was okay.

 

* * *

 

Aaron felt like an idiot sitting there wearing Robert's clothes as usual, tapping away at Robert's old laptop that was slow and annoyingly so. He was wearing the black shirt Robert seemed to dislike and old jeans covered in white specs of paint from when Robert and painted the spare room, his child's room Aaron had thought as Robert commented on it softly. He had kissed him on the forehead when he saw the way Robert stared at the baggy pair of jeans, blinking hard and then sniffing before smiling weakly like he seemed to do all the time. A weak smile, sometimes the perfect description for Robert Sugden.

The Internet was slower than Aaron had realised, _even_ slower but he didn't care because he was hardly going anywhere, hardly in a rush. Aaron would have laughed at the thought if it didn't make him feel trapped again. The Internet gave into Aaron's search finally and Aaron was smiling at the screen and feeling his heart race as he looked at the beach from last night, Robert had told him what it was called but had forgotten and spent the entire morning thinking about it before remembering and searching.

Aaron loved beaches, loved the soft sand and the way he could smell salt in the air. Beaches meant peace and screamed naivety and a happiness indescribable that reminded him of his mum chasing him towards the sea when he was younger and Robert holding him tightly. The images calmed him, settled the chaos that raged on inside sometimes and made Aaron hope about the future. About waking up every morning breathing in that fresh sea air and filling his lungs with the beauty as he felt Robert's warm embrace surround him. Aaron found himself closing his eyes as he imagined, really _imagined_ that little house overlooking the beach, just above the rocky path, being his - _their's_. Robert keeping that promised that was whispered and wrapped up neatly in a perfect view of the sea and an I love you that easily could have _swayed_ Robert's thoughts.

 

 _Easily_.

  
Aaron placed a hand on the screen, it seemed perfect - _too_ perfect for someone like Aaron, always too perfect.

 

* * *

 

Robert shuffled in the seat that Jensen had 'kindly' offered for him to sit on, Jensen's breathing was tight and quick and he was loosening his tie as he stared at Robert.

  
"Those bastards nearly got caught yesterday" Jensen's voice was thick and filled with anger.

  
Robert's eyes widened "In Germany?" He let out with a gasp.

  
"They got into some fight with some random, fucking about and nearly getting arrested, _both_ of 'em."

  
Robert shook his head, "Surely if they did, they'd be our of your way. You wouldn't have to frame -"

  
"Of course I would, they'd expect me to clear it up for them." Jensen's voice slowed down slightly as he thought about it "I _have_ to make Livesy guilty, then I'll be free of them."

  
Robert hated it, hated how easy Jensen spoke about ruining someone's reputation, their entire life just because he was in too deep.

  
"You really think that, yeah?" Robert said bitterly leaning forward slightly "They'll be ringing ya up the second they need your help again, you know they will."

  
Jensen's expression ex changed, his face falling and then hardening again, "I'll retire, leave all that behind and delete everything, I'll break the fucking SIM card if I have too."

  
Robert's eyes flickered, SIM card, dodgy phone - enough to put Jesnen inside for a long time.

  
"They'll come after you Jensen I'm telling you that...if you give in to what they want from you now...they'll just _keep_ pushing ya -"

  
Jensen sighed hard as he rubbed a hand over his head "Bollocks" he let out with a grunt "I have too, I don't have a _choice_ -"

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders "Poor you," he mumbled before attempting to leave, his back away from Jensen.

  
"Robert's its _you_ that...that people think of when they mention this case, I _need_ ya on side for this to work. I need ya to help me..." Jensen wreaked of desperation yet Robert would never give in, never.

  
"How many more times I not a b-"

  
Jensen let out a deep sigh, "I know that, it's not like being bent...its just helping me son..."

  
_Don't call me fucking son._

  
Jensen steadied himself, pulling his arms out and waving them "What's this troubled lad's freedom in the _grand_ scheme of things..."

  
Robert felt his heart racing, he was pushing him. _Don't_.

  
"He...he is a wrong'un anyway, he just...he won't be missed Robert, there's no loss here okay?"

  
_I'll miss him, I'll fucking miss him more than you can ever begin to imagine._

  
Jesnen stammered on his words suddenly "Just a criminal..."

  
_No, he's not, he's not just a criminal. How dare you? How -_

  
"And...and considering his past..."

  
_Don't, don't say anything about that._

  
"...Prison is probably the best place for him, probably deserves it...."

  
Robert felt the words hit him like a _punch_ to his to stomach, he was hearing the words being spat out and picturing Jesnen cruel and cold as he said it because he was still turning away from him.

Aaron, _his_ Aaron _deserved_ days on the fucking beach and warm fires and soft kisses _not_ metal bars and nights alone and 'bad days'.

The heat fuelled from the comment suddenly exploded and Robert was trying around sharply, pointing straight at Jensen and shouting "AARON DOSENT DESERVE _ANY_ OF THIS" before inhaling sharply, shaking _all_ over and ripping his eyes away from Jesnen who's face was full of shock, his eyes widening and then frowning harshly.

  
"Aaron is it?" Jensen let out cooly before smirking and staring at Robert up and down slowly as if _seeing_ him for the first time in weeks, seeing something he had never seen before that sparked intrigue in him because... _Aaron_ had slipped out instead of Livesy.

  
Robert shuddered as he watched the way Jensen was looking at him, almost studying him because he had said Aaron instead, he had completely pushed past the boarders he hid behind when it came to how he felt about Aaron and he was almost swimming to the bait Jensen had twirled in front of him. Everything had changed suddenly, one word, once name, one raised voice, one outburst that revealed too much. Surely, _fuck_ he had ruined things.

  
"I need to -" Robert mumbled as he raced towards the door without saying another word.

Robert kept his head down as he felt tears prickle his eyes because he had said too much and let go and it was all his fault. Jensen saw something, saw too much emotion and he could use that to _dig_ , he _would_ use that. Aaron didn't deserve this.

The feel of Loui's hand pulling on his shoulder tugged Robert away and suddenly he was turning to him and breathing in slowly because...

  
"Do you want to tell me how this ended up in your possession Rob?" Loui spat as he held Aaron's letter, the words trailing on the sheet of paper and making Robert shudder once more because no one was supposed to know that Robert had found the evidence. That would raise suspicion and make people wonder exactly _how_ just like Loui was doing right now and then he'd have to either lie or...he was weak, he couldn't lie, almost too exhausted. Aaron _really_ didn't deserve this.

  
Robert stammered before suddenly dragging Loui by the arm and pulling him towards the small counter opposite Jensen's private office.

  
"I can explain, okay just -"

  
Loui sighed shaking slightly as he looked down at the letter in his hand "I read it...okay he's said everything, mentioned the brothers as well. It checks out Robert, makes those bastards even more guilty because it...it says _exactly_ what happened"

  
Robert gulped hard and nodded his head "I know -"

  
"It was just in the bottom of your bag like it didn't even matter, Robert this is _key._ "

  
Robert shook his head and instantly moved closer to Loui "You don't think I know that? I was gonna give it to Jensen, clear everything up and then I over hear him saying that he will make _sure_ Livesy takes the wrap. I couldn't...couldn't trust him with it could I -"

  
Loui's face reddened "You could trust _me,"_ he let out angrily before frowning as he looked at the letter again and back to Robert.

  
"Still dosen't explain _how_ you got it though does it?"

  
Robert's face fell slightly "I...er I -"

  
Loui squinted as his eyes hardened and he moved closer to Robert and craned his neck slightly, Robert's heart was racing as he saw the clogs swirl in Loui's mind.

  
"He _must_ have...did he drop it off at the station..." Loui's eyes widened, "Or...have you, have you _seen_ him?"

  
Robert's eyes fell, everything was starting to crumble and he couldn't cope.

  
The silence _killed_ , it was almost deafening and spoke more volume than anything Robert could have said.

  
Loui pulled away slightly "You have, you must have...Robert he's a suspect, Robert answer me."

  
Robert's heart was racing, his mind trailed over to Aaron once again, Aaron smiling, Aaron happy and whole and almost complete. It was the _only_ thing that mattered but then Robert could see everything falling, the _perfect_ kind of happiness being destroyed because the truth always did have a way of being discovered.

  
"He isn't just a suspect." Robert let the words fall and could have sworn he heard another piece of that far away happiness just crumble, just fall and disappear.

  
Loui craned his neck again and scoffed "What are you -" a gasp escaped him, quick and sudden and then he _knew_.

  
"He gave this to you because you've seen him, because you _know_ him." Loui said shakily.

  
"It's...it's complicated okay, I didn't know who he was at first - I honestly didn't know okay he just needed help and -"

  
It was as if a bottle had been opened on its side and now it was just spilling and pouring and Robert couldn't find the lid to just stop it all.

  
Loui's eyes widened "At first? How long have you been 'helping' him?" He whispered.

  
Robert stammered "A few weeks -" Loui leaned in closer, "You're as bent as Jensen," he snarled before attempting to walk away. Robert pulled him back by the arm ignoring the way his words stung because for a second it seemed true.

  
"He was just this scared lad who needed someone to stay okay and I just...I needed to help him, he told me the truth and I -"

  
"You just believed him like some gullible fool, let him _stay_ with you" Loui said shaking his head before moving closer to Robert and sighing "You'd never do something like that unless..."

  
Robert's eyes flickered, Loui was his best friend...Loui always _knew_ what Robert would do for someone when he -

  
"You _fell_ in love with a suspect." Loui whispered straight into Robert hitting him hard and making him feel weak because he had _fell_ in love and so fucking hard it hurt.

  
Robert's head dropped and suddenly he was mumbling "I didn't _plan_ to."

  
Loui sighed hard "You were right, it is complicated..." He mumbled back, "How do you know he's not using ya -"

  
Robert shook his head "He _loves_ me Loui, he _hates_ how this has all happened, how...he's made me have to lie..." He whispered seeing Loui's eyes flicker and nearly believe him, "He isn't a bad person Loui."

  
Loui rolled his eyes "Whatever," he mumbled, his eyes darting towards the floor and then at the letter again "I'll hold onto this..." He said tapping at the paper.

  
Robert gulped hard "I'm gonna do all I can to make Jensen back down..." He whispered because surely Jesnen was suspicious now and it would be hard, "You speak to Grace about anything to do with clearing Aaron's....Livesy's name." He said before clearing his throat.

  
Loui nodded his head and gulped as he looked back towards his desk "Grace told me she's been working on what that witness said about a weapon, she sent some officers down this morning...and she's at the appeal with the family now, their appealing for news about the brothers more than Livesy."

  
Robert nodded his head sighed softly as Loui looked at him.

  
"Is he there now? Is Aaron at yours?" Loui whispered, speaking softly and meeting Robert's eyes causing him to nod. "Shit..."

 

Loui let out shakily "All this time..." He added.

  
Robert looked defeated "I'm sorry Loui -"

  
Loui moved a hand out in front "Don't be, you were protecting him...in your...dramatic way," he said smiling at the end and seeing the way his friend looked, so tried, so worn out from the lies he had told.

  
Robert smiled weakly before looking towards the ground "I just want him to be happy, to be free of all this" he whispered and suddenly Loui was pulling him into a hug, tight and almost suffocating but it didn't matter "Mate we're gonna sort this okay...I'm with ya yeah." Loui mumbled into Robert's neck.

 

The crumbling had stopped and was slowing rebuilding, _slowly_.

 

* * *

 

Robert couldn't stand the feeling any longer, the feel of the office and the pressure and he had to escape, walking out of the door and attempting to leave the main building before anyone realised. 

The sudden feel of a large body hit against Robert made his heart jump slightly as he saw the way the body turned towards him swiftly. Jensen was smiling, smirking even and then he was resting a hand on Robert's shoulder to steady him.

  
"Watch where your going son." Jensen's voice was slow and cold "You never know who's around..." He added making Robert's blood run cold at the words, a threat? Jensen frowned before looking towards the exit of the building and then back at Robert.  
"Going somewhere?"

  
Robert gulped hard and nodded "Yeah, I left something at home -" Robert bit his lip hard whence saw Jensen's eyebrows raise slightly.

  
"Off you go then..." Jensen said gesturing for Robert to leave "Mind where you go eh" he added again making Robert feel entirely on edge. Robert wasn't scared of Jensen himself, not one bit but as he walked back to Aaron he found himself shaken slightly, things crumbling again because counting on Loui was too much of a risk was. His days were numbered.

 

* * *

 

_The rain was crashing down and hitting him sharply as he approached the telephone box, shaking almost as he closed the door behind him and punched the numbers into the dialler - 999._

_"Er hello." He said clearing his throat and changing his voice slightly as he lowered it even more, "I've just seen that Livesy lad break into an apartment on Mellowsten Road, yeah come quick I think the bloke who owns it as that Sugden detective in the paper -"_

_  
He slammed the phone back down hard, breathing out sharply as he walked back out into the bitterly cold rain that was becoming relentless. All he had to do was wait._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> robert's big damn mouth though&that ending AHHHH! i'm sorry, hmm you're all gonna hate me ;(


	28. When the rain sets in...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do trust you Robert, I trusted you to keep me safe...I've never trusted anyone like that before" Aaron let a tear fall and then Robert was wiping it away and feeling his heart swell because Aaron trusted him but he shouldn't have, Robert knew he couldn't keep Aaron safe in London, in his home anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;(

  
Robert slammed the door after him as he entered the flat, his clothes were damp from the rain but he didn't care, somehow the rain calmed him down - only slightly though. Paranoia managed to make things ten times worse, make Robert's thoughts jumbled and confused because he knew the net was closing in and Jensen would be watching and waiting for him to spill anything else.

Robert caught his breath as he walked into his room and saw Aaron sleeping on the bed, curled up like a little puppy with his eyes firmly shut and his hair adorable fluffy from the way he had probably taken an eternity to get settled properly. Robert couldn't help but smile as he thought about how far Aaron had come, how at peace he looked resting on _their_ bed, his eyes weren't scrunched up and there was no trail of sweat confirming he was having a bad dream like the times before.

Robert moved further towards Aaron, he was almost in awe of him and how after everything he had been through he had this _trust_ in Robert, this _love_. Robert felt the tears prickle in his eyes as he tried to hold it together, he didn't deserve the trust, he was keeping things from Aaron and making him think that things were okay, almost blissfully okay when they weren't at all.

Robert carefully sat across Aaron on the bed still keeping his attention on the younger man as he did so, a hand fell through Aaron's hair as Robert sniffed through his emotions and tried to ignore the way Jensen had spoke to him before he left, an almost _warning_ that sent shivers down his spine.

  
Aaron's lips were slightly parted as he breathed continuous gentle sighs that made Robert's heart almost melt, Robert moved his eyes over to the laptop near Aaron and suddenly he was in tears, tears were spilling over him messily because he could see the beach from yesterday and realised that Aaron almost thought of it as a safe haven. It killed him to think that he knew he couldn't keep Aaron safe, he just couldn't.

  
Aaron almost sensed Robert against him and his eyes blinked open softly so that he could see Robert sitting there, his eyes widened as he saw the state of Robert. His hair was damp presumably from the rain outside and his eyes were red, almost raw as if he had been crying.

  
"What's wrong Rob?" Aaron steadied himself so that he was staring into Robert's eyes and holding onto his face gently.

  
Robert pulled his eyes away from Aaron and let out a small sigh as his chin began to quiver.

  
"Robert you're scaring me now... Rob tell me -" Aaron could see the way Robert was looking away, the way he seemed almost scared and he couldn't handle it. Robert wasn't a mess, the troubled one - he was the strong and powerful one.

  
Robert could hear Aaron's voice and felt even more guilty about what he was doing, what he had let slip and confessed to Loui just because he couldn't handle the lies anymore.

  
"I'm sorry." Robert let out shakily daring to look at Aaron.

  
"For what? Has something happened?" Aaron could imagine things that made him feel sick with fear but he had to block it out and focus on Robert.

  
Robert nodded "Not yet..." He mumbled because it was only a matter of time before Jensen was able to _see_ Robert again and look at his emotions and wonder why he cared so much, now Loui knew too there was someone else he had to fully trust not to let anything slip out. Trust and pressure was killing him inside. Suddenly he saw the look on Aaron's face and kissed his forehead slowly, the need to tell him not worry was almost crushing his insides but he couldn't lie to him and make him believe that Robert was the one who could fix things.

  
"Aaron you know how much I care about you okay? Don't forget that please."

  
The words slipped out and almost made Aaron's heart break because it seemed like ....

 

"What are you saying Rob?"

  
The words were in replacement of the thoughts circling Aaron's mind,  _Are you leaving me?_

  
Robert gulped hard as he gently touched Aaron's face and let out a weak smile because he just couldn't give up on him, on _them_. He wanted him and he couldn't live without him, without someone who made him have a purpose and something to _live_ for, something _real_. He couldn't let fear make him think that Aaron was better off on his own, he had to keep him close - crushingly close because he needed Aaron, maybe even more than Aaron needed him.

  
"Aaron, do you trust me?" Robert whispered as he hovered over Aaron's lips causing Aaron to nod his head and let out, "Of course I do..."

  
Robert gulped hard before kissing him softly and backing away so that he could see Aaron's eyes, his _beautiful_ eyes "Then...then run away with me."

  
It could work, he could trust some people to help - Loui could help them leave and they could escape it all. They could be _fucking_ happy, _together_.

  
Aaron's eyes widened before a small smile spread across his face that made Robert have this level of hope but then it was dashed as Aaron shook his head harshly.

  
"You're not serious Rob?" Aaron let out cooly, hardly believing it at all because he couldn't wrap his head around what Robert had just said.

  
Robert felt the words stab into him sharply like daggers because Aaron was almost thinking it was a joke, hardly a serious suggestion, as if Robert himself was merely a joke - not serious at all. It _hurt_ but he couldn't just shrug off the whole idea not when it mattered so much.

  
Robert stared back at Aaron for a few seconds "I am, of course I am." He said making sure he sounded as self assured as possible.

  
Aaron bit down on his lip, "We can't just -"

  
"Yes we can...we could be out of here tonight Aaron and in Spain by tomorrow -"

  
Aaron's eyes widened and suddenly he was pushing off the bed and crossing his arms over each other. The very thought of what Robert was saying was to scary to even imagine, too risky.

  
"Are you hearing yourself?" Aaron snapped and Robert was cut deep by the words.

  
Robert gulped the hurt away and turned to Aaron on the bed still "Aaron you have to...I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't think it could work -"

  
Aaron reluctantly stayed silent as he watched Robert move towards him and hold onto his hand tightly, "Just think okay, me and you...we can put this all behind us, it will be -"

  
Aaron felt his heart beat a little faster at the idea, it sounded almost romantic yet he was well aware it would be, " _Illegal._ "

  
Robert let go of Aaron's hand defeated slightly but then he could hear Jensen's voice in his head and he couldn't cope. Robert moved even closer to Aaron so that their heads were nearly touching "Please trust me..." He whispered into Aaron, he was giving him everything, allowing Aaron to see him so broken and practically begging.

  
Aaron felt tears begin to water in his eyes and he had to let his head fall so that Robert couldn't see.

  
"I do trust you Robert, I trusted you to keep me safe...I've never trusted anyone like that before." Aaron let a tear fall and then Robert was wiping it away and feeling his heart swell because Aaron _trusted_ him but he shouldn't have, Robert knew he _couldn't_ keep Aaron safe in London, in his home anymore.

  
Aaron held onto Robert's face, "But I know that us just running away will not work babe." He whispered.

  
 _Babe_ he hadn't called him that before and although Robert's heart skipped a beat at the endearment he knew Aaron was trying to let him down gently by adding it.

  
Robert shook his head and pushed Aaron's hands away "It could, Aaron we could start a new life -"

  
Aaron suddenly felt uncomfortable "What about your old one, your life here now, your flat, your friends, you can't give that all up -"

  
Robert frowned at Aaron stunned that he didn't seem to realise how much Aaron had changed things, put everything into perspective.

  
"You're everything Aaron." Robert let out simply before walking back towards Aaron and hovering at his lips " _Nothing_ comes close." He whispered before suddenly feeling Aaron pushed right into him and kiss him tenderly on the lips, a hand running though Robert's hair before he pulled away and stared at Robert lovingly. Somehow an I love you didn't even come close to what Robert had just said.

  
Aaron smiled as he felt Robert gently stroked over Aaron's face "You're risking everything Robert, what if it dosent work out?"

 

Robert frowned at the words "It will." He let out quickly.

  
Aaron pulled Robert away as he realised that what he was going to say was going to make Robert frustrated. Aaron walked towards the window and stared out before looking back at Robert, "And what if it does..the running away I mean but we don't... _we_ don't work out and you've risked everything for someone like me, someone so difficult to love -"

  
Robert felt tears build in his eyes as he saw the way Aaron was staring at him, his own tears spilling over messily "Don't say that, Aaron please -"

  
"You'll be stuck with me, stuck with my bad days and moody fucking attitude and you'll grow to hate me and resent the chance you took and you'd leave...Rob I couldn't _bare_ that." Aaron was in floods of tears now, the thought of just him pushing Robert away and over the edge and making him hate what they had...it was too much.

  
Robert walked over to Aaron and pulled him close, clutching at him tightly as if he _couldn't_ let him go, not ever.

  
"I need ya Aaron, I wouldn't ever leave you...let me spend the rest of my life proving that to ya." Robert whispered softly making Aaron melt all over as he pressed a hand to Robert's chest and heard the way his heart was beating through his chest  
Aaron stared at Robert and felt the thudding in his heart, he was panicking like mad and Aaron could tell and suddenly he was wondering why "Robert nothing happened today did it? Promise me nothing happened and we'll go, I'll help ya pack your bags and I'll trust ya for the rest of my life."

  
Robert felt his heart hammering at the words, he didn't know what to say or do, he was torn completely because he needed Aaron to run away with him but he couldn't lie, but it was for the best? He would look back in ten years when him and Aaron are pottering about in their villa by the sea away from it all that it _was_ for the best, one lie wouldn't matter because they would be happy, truly.

  
Robert gulped hard "Promise...I just want it all to be over, I just want you so much." He whispered before seeing the smile spread across Aaron's face as he nervously nodded his head and said "I'll run away with ya then..."

  
Robert's eyes widened as he clutched at Aaron's body once more and kissed him hard on the lips "I love you so _fucking_ much Aaron, don't forget that." He mumbled before kissing him again.

 

* * *

 

 Aaron tipped his head back as he pulled out a suitcase from underneath the bed, it was big enough for some clothes and shoes but they would have to buy some more any time soon. The thought of Robert and him sharing clothes somehow made Aaron's heart swell because he had grown accustom to the bagginess of Robert's stretchy jumpers and the smell of deep aftershave that made him feel warm.

  
"This will be big enough for your stuff right - some of it anyway." Aaron called out to Robert who had disappeared into the bathroom.

  
The silence made Aaron frown hard as he walked towards the small hallway and saw Robert staring into the spare room, at the boxes that he had never got round to sorting out.

  
Guilt poured over Aaron as he saw how small and broken Robert appeared as he moved further into the room and fell on the floor in a small hump. Suddenly Aaron was by his side, clutching at his side as Robert let out a shaky breath and stared around the room.

  
"Feels like I'm leaving her somehow..." Robert said with such sadness in his voice that he nearly made Aaron's heart climb out of his own chest.

  
Aaron slowly sat down next to Robert and placed a hand on his thigh, somehow his mind was swirling with thoughts and making him feel awful because it seemed like Robert had chosen to leave with Aaron rather than stay somehow with her still.  
"Like I'm forgetting her...leaving her for -"

  
Aaron dropped his head slowly "For me," he whispered before feeling Robert's hand fall into his hair and his body shift so that he was staring straight at Aaron "For a new life, for one that...that dosent involve as much crying over her or...or regret about things I should have said to her. A life with more happiness than I've ever know.n"

  
Aaron sniffed softly feeling overwhelmed the words and falling onto Robert's lap to kiss him once more, this time more _tender_ than ever.

  
"I'm not alone anymore now I've got you." Robert let the words slip out as Aaron hovered at his lips silently.

  
Aaron could understand every word, every single one because he felt exactly the same "Neither am I." He mumbled before kissing him again and picking them both up.

  
Robert stared down at the boxes, fewer than he thought and less daunting than he had imagined. In reality there was only one special box of Savannah's filled with her things, the cards after she died and things that reminded Robert of her. The rest he could let go, he could ask Loui to just chuck out because baby animals and a makeshift cot weren't necessary.

  
Aaron kissed Robert's forehead as he watched him stare at the small box he had looked at which sparked a row between them that night about privacy, before Robert confessed to how precious it all was.

  
"I'll leave you for a bit yeah." Aaron mumbled disappearing back into their room, the thought of just running with Robert was scary yet somehow felt right, felt thrilling and almost made them seem like some messed up Bonnie and Clyde act.

 

Aaron let out a small laugh, if he didn't laugh he'd cry.

 

For a second Aaron's eyes met the window, the rain was still pelting down angrily and he sighed hard before peering further towards and suddenly his heart fell through his chest. His entire face dropped and he began to shake like mad because he could see the car, the police car and then the officers approaching the street. His eyes widened and suddenly he was _hit_ with the harshest reality in the world, the most gut wrenchingly damaging _tragic_ reality that could have hit him.

  
"ROBERT!"

  
It was filled with dread, fear, desperation and Robert raced to him, his eyes wide with concern as he saw Aaron standing there shaking like a fucking leaf and staring out the window.

  
"Babe what...what's wrong? Aaron what-" Robert edged towards Aaron and then followed his gaze towards the window. Just like before he could feel everything start to crumble but this time no one was there to put the pieces back together. Things were falling and crashing and any sign of happiness was gone, all of it was ruined.

  
Robert could see them, officers he didn't know that well sitting in their cars most likely planning what to do and how to attack. Robert's thoughts were pulled away from him all at once as he felt Aaron tug at his arm, his eyes were filled with tears and he was breathing shakily like the mess Robert had found all those weeks ago.

  
"What - what are we gonna do? What - I can't - Robert." Aaron was almost uncontrollable for a second and Robert feared he could never soothe him but then his arms were pulling Aaron towards him and he was easing the trembling.

  
"It's okay shhh...shhh okay they might just -" Robert's words were cut off by the sight of an officer holding up a photo of Aaron. All hope was gone, the happiness that had been building had melted, dissolved into nothing but this ash that was filling the air with this black smoke of emptiness and suffocating them both.

  
"They must have known....they..." Aaron pulled away from Robert, shaking his head as he backed towards the door and started to breathe even more erratically "God Robert are ya sure nothing happened -"

  
Robert's heart was thumping like mad "Aaron...I didn't want to tell you."

  
"Tell me what Robert?" Aaron's voice was bitter laced with nerves.

  
"Jensen was...was tryna...frame you and I had to tell Loui but it's okay because Loui is on our side now and he won't just let-"

  
"Frame me?" Aaron straightened his back and let the word out shakily "I'm getting sent down for this aren't I?" The words filled the room with this eeriness that made Robert want to die.

 

"That's why you said...said nothing had happened... _yet_ , and you told this...Loui -"

  
Robert nodded his head realising he couldn't back track "He found out, I told him but he's my best mate and -"

  
Aaron suddenly gasped because all at once the realisation that he had been lied to fell to his mind "You can't trust him, I can't even trust _you_...you _lied_ to me..."

Robert couldn't handle the distance and edged closer to Aaron whispering "No it's not like that."

  
"You've _been_ lying to me...all this time." Aaron held back his tears as he felt Robert reach out and touch him as if to hold him, suddenly he was batting his hand away and staring at him harshly, "That's why you wanted to run away 'cos you can't even trust him or _yourself_ for that matter, 'cause you know I'm not safe...that _you_ can't keep me fucking _safe_."

  
Robert was stunned by the words, they were all accurate, all too accurate and he crumbled, letting the tears spill out as he grabbed onto Aaron's shirt, "I'm sorry, Aaron I'm so sorry, I _tried_ , I really tried." He whispered over and over again.

  
Aaron should have been angrier, he had trusted someone and let them see all of him and that had been broken. Robert had lied to him, kept him in the dark just like always but how could he be angry at him, he pitied him if anything because Robert was _so_ in love it was almost killing him. He was almost broken by the weight and the sheer intensity of his love for Aaron.

  
Aaron's eyes widened as he heard the sound of a car slam and knew they were coming for him. Somehow seeing Robert so drained and weak unleashed this strength that he never knew existed, he had to face up to reality and get out of that dream land he was in where he _loved_ someone and they _loved_ him back. Love had always fucked him up and made him do stupid things like kill someone he loved and jet off to a foreign country to end up alone in the end. He should have been used to love fucking him over and making him be a prick, this time wasn't any different.

  
Aaron pulled Robert off of him and walked towards the bed, calmly zipping up the suitcase and placing it underneath the bed before digging into his pocket and fishing out his phone so that he could stamp on it and delete every message he had sent to Robert, every _gooey mushy_ fucking one.

  
Robert stood and watched trembling as he saw Aaron mercilessly crush the phone and let out a small sigh "Aaron -" Robert whispered as he looked at Aaron "Why did ya -"

  
"Evidence, deleting it all." Aaron was cold with his words, walking towards the living room and speaking as if _he_ was the detective. It was a smart move Robert thought because they could work everything out by the messages yet the way Aaron could just _stamp_ them away like that as if they didn't matter anymore, as if _Robert_ didn't matter anymore.

  
Robert inhaled sharply as he followed Aaron into the living room, Aaron was walking around shaking slightly as he avoided Robert's gaze entirely - almost like he wasn't there at all, "Aaron please look at me, I'm sorry Aaron -"

  
Aaron turned to Robert slowly, still not meeting his eyes, not being able to as he heard how broken Robert sounded.

  
"I broke in, took you by surprise and I wanted you to help me clear my name." Aaron said the words as if they meant nothing.

 

Robert frowned, "You're not making sense, Aaron what -"

  
Aaron sniffed as he finally met Robert's eyes and let out another tear that was almost mocking the strength he was trying to show "I broke in just now, that's what you tell the police." He said his breathing become slightly shaky.

  
"Aaron look at me, Aaron stop this please I'll confess why you're here and we'll go from there -"

  
"No you won't, you'll say what I just said and then you'll forget about this, _us._ " Aaron lacked any emotion in his voice but his eyes, his fucking eyes gave all of it away - this was killing him, "You're not loosing your career over this, I won't let you. This is my mess, it always has been so leave it."

  
Robert pulled a hand up to Aaron's face and stared in amazement, how could he be so selfless?

  
"No, _no_ Aaron I won't let you...Aaron, I _can't_ loose you like this, you can't _leave_ me on my own...we can make this okay -"

Robert was pleading, his face filled with emotions and then suddenly he could hear doors being pushed open throughout the building and he shivered out, "I...I can't live without you Aaron don't you fucking get that! I _love_ you!" Robert was practically shaking Aaron before suddenly letting go.

  
Aaron hated it all but had been here before, he had learnt to block things out when he had to and now he _had_ to, he couldn't allow himself to feel anything anymore - he was good at that, always had been.

  
"This was a fling Robert, between two messed up people...who were alone and needed someone, but that was it." Robert was stunned, he was trying to keep it together but he was failing. Aaron could see, but he couldn't stop himself "I trusted you and you couldn't even keep me safe, a fucking detective couldn't keep me safe, to think I even contemplated running away with you." He didn't mean it, just like the other night. He never did.

  
Robert felt his heart crumple slightly because unlike the other night there was so no emotion there at all, there was nothing.

  
"We sold each other are hearts and both of us didn't know what do 'em." Aaron's words were almost cold now and Robert could do nothing to stop them from pouring out.

  
Robert inhaled softly, he knew Aaron was pushing him away just like the times before.

  
"You love me, I _know_ you love me Aaron. Don't shut me out!"

  
Aaron felt his stomach twist harshly, "I thought I did but I don't. I loved this powerful and smart guy that could keep me safe, not you Robert."

  
It killed, everything became numb.

  
Robert pulled Aaron towards him, daring to touch him and almost knowing he wouldn't be able to again "I don't _fucking_ believe a word you say..." Aaron sighed hard and let a tear roll down his face before saying "Well that makes two of us." bitterly.

  
Robert tried to ignore the way that hurt, but he couldn't blame Aaron for that because he had lied to him over and over again to protect him.

  
"I don't care 'cos I know you love me despite the lies." Aaron turned his head away, "Do you hear me Aaron? And I don't care because...because I _love_ you too and I'll never stop."

  
Aaron stayed silent, daring to say it back because he wanted to but there was no point in making Robert think he loved him when he would be rotting away in prison blank ilex by whoever this Jensen fucker was. It wouldn't be fair.

 

The next moment was filled with a noise that neither of them would never forget.

 

  
" ** _POLICE._** "

  
Four of them, armed with weapons and shields, charged the flat as they busted down the door and fell into the room.

  
Hands. Hands and arms and legs tangled and Robert could hardly speak because Aaron was being thrown to the floor head first, pushed into the floorboards as he struggled to breath.

  
"Don't hurt him please don't..." Robert's words were merely whispers in the chaos that was unfolding in front of him.

  
For a second Aaron and Robert's eyes met and a thousand words left unsaid were spilling into the air, instantly Robert's hug was tugging because once again he was faced with the reality that he never would get the chance to say even more to Aaron, tell him how much he _needs_ him because surely Aaron didn't know how much, if he did he wouldn't be able to lie as well as he did just then. If he honestly knew then he wouldn't be able to break his heart the way he had. Robert had to catch his breath suddenly because he could see emotion in Aaron's face as the handcuffs were wrapped around his wrists, he could see a pain and a regret that would never leave him.

  
Suddenly Aaron was being pulled to his feet by the officers, Robert could see how weak he was, how vulnerable and broken he seemed and instantly he was back to that first night they shared together on that sofa and how sensitive and delicate Robert had to be. For a second Robert looked away from the scene but then his eyes found Aaron's again and he could see the way Aaron's breathing wavered, his chin trembling as he looked at Robert and tried to smile as if to reassure him.

Robert shook his head in return and then Aaron was gone.

  
For a second he thought he was alone and almost desperately wanted to fall to his knees and weep and weep but then an officer suddenly patted him on the back and sighed out a little "Gosh Sugden that must have been awful for ya, him barging in here like that."

  
Robert froze slightly because suddenly he had the opportunity to say what actually was happening and why Aaron was in his flat but then Aaron entered his mind, he didn't want to be saved.

  
"Good thing we got a bloody tip of when we did. God knows what could have happened eh -"

  
Robert twisted round to look at him better, his eyes widening slightly, " _Tip off_?"

  
The officer nodded his head "Bloke said he saw Livesy break in.." He said before disappearing after being called by another officer.

  
Robert felt his blood boil with anger. A tip off? Someone had purposely tried to tear everything apart, a name flashed across his mind all at once, but then faded because Jensen couldn't have known but Loui would never...he was paranoid surely.

  
"Sugden" another officer called out standing by the door, "Do you mind coming to the station mate gotta take a statement and that."

  
Robert nodded his head slowly before following the officer and gulped hard as thoughts crashed over his mind like an ocean and he was fucking drowning in them all.


	29. The waves crash over...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert chewed on his nails nervously as Loui approached him, he smiled up at his best friend as he saw the way he was looking at him. Pity. He hated it, hated the way Loui now looked at him like he had done when Savannah had died, it scared Robert to think that the loss of Aaron could be compared to the loss of his Savannah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wohoo an update!

_"I broke in, took you by surprise and I wanted you to help me clear my name." Aaron said the words as if they meant nothing._

_  
Robert frowned "You're not making sense, Aaron what -"_

_  
Aaron sniffed as he finally met Robert's eyes and let out another tear that was almost mocking the strength he was trying to show "I broke in just now, that's what you tell the police."_

 

* * *

 

Robert sat there shaking in the seat opposite the officers being recorderd. Aaron's words had echoed in his mind as he sat there and lied like a coward. He had just finished letting them know all about how Aaron had seemingly broke into his home and had been determined to get help for his case. Lie after lie came toppling out and then panic came in because they were making out as if Aaron was this armed killer keeping him hostage. It was making everything worse.

  
"No he wasn't, I mean I didn't feel...in danger or anything. He just wanted to talk to me." Robert was shaking under the table still, unfamiliar with the surroundings because he had always been behind the scenes and never actually interviewing someone so formally.

  
The woman leading the interviewing had short brown hair and wore a small frown as she was biting on her pen and titling her head to one side.

  
"You say you weren't in danger, despite the fact that this man is linked to your case - the case that is trying to get him sent down for a murder?"

 

Robert nodded his head and gulped hard "He didn't make me feel like I was anyway, he just needed help."

  
The woman seemed taken aback by how calm Robert was saying it all and how _sure_ he was as well, "So what did he want?"  
Robert gulped hard again, "Just...just wanted to know what we had on him..."

  
The woman frowned harshly "He could have just watched the news eh." She said before smiling and almost easing the tension in the room and allowing Robert to let out a nervous laughter.

  
"Thanks for all your help Sugden, we'll have to speak to you again later but you're free to get off now." The female officer said cooly as she attempted to walk out of the room.

  
Robert's face fell slightly - _What is that it?_

 

"So what happens to him now then?" He couldn't help but ask, Aaron was circling his mind.

  
"He'll be interviewed and considering the circumstances I'm sure your boss will be interested to know that he's been located."

  
Robert lifted his head up sharply, "Jensen?" No not him, please anyone but -

  
"Yeah, listen I've got to write this up so I'll be off now." She left the room suddenly as if she hardly cared at all and left Robert sitting there like some shaking mess of a man. He couldn't quite believe what had happened yet, he would be going back to that flat without seeing Aaron there. It broke him inside, completely. Aaron would be in some cell, probably trying his hardest to fight his tears away, breaking inside and hating Robert for not keeping him safe.

  
Jensen fell to Robert's mind as he walked out of the police station and onto the street, this entire night would have been perfect for him, finally he had Aaron and he could manipulate everything onto him.

The thought of Jensen being the person which had told the police about Aaron raced through him yet suddenly someone else came to mind as he saw Loui standing opposite the road, leaning against his car and staring in shock at the sight of his best friend. Robert's heart thumped _harder_ as he approached him, the only one who knew for _sure_ where Aaron had been hiding.

  
"It was _you_ wasn't it?" Robert's anger took over and he was suddenly scrunching up Loui's jumper and pinning him harder towards his car.

  
Loui's eyes widened in shock  "Mate...what's - please don't tell me that -"

  
Robert sighed harshly "We were gonna run away..." he suddenly had to stop himself because saying the words aloud made him want to cry, "But they came and they took him away before we even had a chance." He let out bitterly, "And it was you who told them."

  
Loui suddenly pulled Robert's hands away from his chest and stared in shock, "You really think I'd do that to ya?" His voice was trembling slightly.

  
Robert saw the shock in his eyes but didn't want to notice it at all, "But you _knew_ , you're the only who -"

  
Loui shook his head and sighed "I swear to ya Robert." He mumbled before pointing at the station, "Why do ya think I'm here eh? Jensen was acting _dead_ shifty and I just couldn't handle it anymore, Grace found a weapon and I practically had to beg her not to tell him about it but she wanted to know why, I couldn't tell her but I hated lying for him so I was gonna tell the police about it all."

  
Robert shuddered softly, they had a weapon - possible DNA matches but Jensen was smart, Loui was right about him finding a way around it somehow. His head was jammed with noise and all he wanted to do was cry, and cry for Aaron.

  
Loui leaned into him, "Let's get you home." He mumbled softly realising how badly everything had effected him.

  
Robert suddenly looked up sharply and whispered, "I can't," because _home_ wasn't the flat anymore, _home_ was _Aaron_ and he couldn't face going back on his own.

  
Loui nodded gently "Mine then eh." He said realising Robert desperately needed companionship right now.

 

* * *

 

Aaron was used to the quiet, the silence that filled rooms yet the lack of light and the claustrophobic surroundings now were enough to make him sit there and weep. He quickly realised he was a special case, officers smiled almost triumphant when he walked through to the cells. Livesy locked up eh. Saying nothing when he was interviewed was a daring move but one he took nonetheless. He was a _mess_ , shaking and trembling as the officers tried to get anything out of him, _twisting_ the truth and making Aaron want to run away all over again.

After half an hour they had given up on trying to squeeze out any truth and decided to place him in a cell whilst they continued their investigation. Aaron had almost become numb half way through the interview but then suddenly he was hearing one of them mumble  "I'm sure Jensen will be interested in this..." and his head was springing up and staring wide eyed.

Aaron was instantly back to a few hours earlier and Robert was shakily saying his name before adding the word 'framing', who the fuck was this Jensen? He dared to ask but then hesitated slightly and listened as the other officer said, "Considering he's overseeing it all..."

  
Overseeing it all. He was the boss, in charge. He was framing Aaron and they all thought he was the most superior person around. No wonder why Robert wanted to run away.

  
Robert, he was _all_ he could think about. Aaron should have hated him, hated him deeply for the lies that he told and the way he had foolishly kept him in the dark for so long. He hated how vulnerable and child like it made him feel. To think that Robert didn't tell him important things because he genuinely thought it was for the best, as if Aaron would literally shatter at the thought of everything going wrong. But Aaron didn't hate him at all, he _loved_ him too much to hate him.

Instead he hated himself for destroying a piece of Robert, hated the look on Robert's face as they pulled Aaron to the ground and restrained him. Even now as he sat alone in his cell he could have sworn he had heard Robert whisper something like "Please don't hurt him" and the words hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't stand the thought of everything just ending, of Robert being alone and guilty and full of this underlying worry that Aaron didn't love him at all.

Yet telling Robert he would always love him and that he had nothing to feel guilty about wouldn't do any good at all, if anything it would just complicate things further because there was no going back for them was there? Aaron would be in prison - that was a given. Robert would have to just move on, despise this Jensen for managing to ruin what they had but never managing to do anything about it because...

  
It was Jensen, Jensen was the person who told the police, so if Robert ever even tried to prove he was framing Aaron then all Jensen had to do with threaten to tell everyone that Robert had been keeping Aaron. He'd find a way. This Jensen seemed smart and Robert must have thought the same if he was prepared to run away.

  
An officer came by the door a few minutes later and had a soft smile on her face that screamed _pity_. She told Aaron about him having the chance to make a phone call if he wanted to do so but almost instantly Aaron was shaking his head because the only person who fell to mind was Robert and he couldn't, he couldn't possibly ring him now. He wouldn't have anything left to say.

 

* * *

 

Robert found Aaron's hand and squeezed onto it tightly, putting pressure down and making Aaron look his way, yet when he did Robert was met with Jensen staring back, smiling at him wickedly as he pointed towards Aaron who was being dragged down into a cell with cheers of 'Guilty' ringing through the room.

  
Robert shot up wide eyed as he panted hard and tried to settle himself. He had been dreaming yet it had all seemed so real - it was frightfully real and nothing could have told Robert otherwise.

  
Robert frowned as he looked around and saw that he wasn't at his flat, instead of white walls he was met with beige ones that were freshly painted. He was laying on a sofa, less comfortable than his own but just as big, his head was killing him as he moved to sit up and place his feet on the soft carpet. All he seemed to think about was Aaron, panic had set in last night as he sat there and cried.

Aaron would not have disclosed any information about how he was feeling when they asked questions about his state of mind, questions like 'How are you feeling?' Or 'Are you thinking about hurting yourself? Or worst of all "Are you having suicidal thoughts?'

Aaron would say nothing and rather suffer in silence for however long it would carry on for, his 'bad days' would all roll into one because he would have no one to talk to at all. Robert had thought about visiting him somehow, trying his hardest to pass through some officers and dangle his card in front of those who were suspicious.

Loui had persuaded him not to however, he had made Robert see that it wouldn't help and that there was a possibility that Aaron wouldn't want to see him. It had kicked Robert to the core, knowing that Aaron would more than likely just _push_ him away if he tried to help.

Aaron had made a lot clear yesterday that Robert had tried to forget, to ignore yet he couldn't, he couldn't just forget the bitterness and the anger that filled every word. He probably would never forget how he had turned someone like Aaron, someone so closed off from the world and bitterly alone and manage to make them happy and open, to only ruin it all in the end, to tarnish any progress made at all.

  
Robert chewed on his nails nervously as Loui approached him, he smiled up at his best friend as he saw the way he was looking at him. _Pity_. He hated it, hated the way Loui now looked at him like he had done when Savannah had died, it scared Robert to think that the loss of Aaron could be compared to the loss of his Savannah.

  
"Coffee?" Loui let out slowly trying his hardest not to sound as if he was feeling sorry for Robert, it was hard not to though when Robert looked so lost.

  
Robert nodded his head as he watched Loui walk towards the kitchen. Aaron was there again, singing along softly to a song that was playing in his head as he made Robert his morning coffee, the best coffee Robert thought.

  
Loui worked quickly and before Robert knew it he was passing him his mug and taking up a seat across from Robert.

  
"How ya feeling?" Loui mumbled half heartedly because he knew that Robert was probably crying inside.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders before sipping his coffee, "Like I want to see him, badly." He said softly looking away from Loui because he was ready for the words coming next.

  
Loui let out a sigh  "Rob...you can't just _see_ him." He said as he waved a hand out in front of Robert and tried to make him understand.

  
Robert rolled his eyes  "I get that, I know that but I just need to know if he's okay..." he waved a hand out and pointed towards his temple  "I can't get him out of my head..."

  
Loui gulped hard not knowing what to say and feeling helpless  "Rob I -"

  
Robert shook his head slowly  "I need to find out what's going on with him, okay I just feel _so_ guilty, so _guilty_ because I let him think I could keep him safe, when I _couldn't_." His voice was filled with this desperation that haunted him, made him want to give up on everything.

  
Loui leaned closer to Robert  "We of all people should know that you can't make promises like that, Aaron should have known you couldn't have _guaranteed_ to make things better -"

  
Robert frowned hard and moved away from Loui  "This wasn't his fault, this was my fault..."

  
"No, no this was Jensen's fault and them two murderers, not _you._ " Loui snarled as he saw Robert leaning back against the sofa, _defeated_.

  
"We were going to run away..." Robert couldn't get that out of his mind, that particular thought because it was nearly going to happen. "We could have been happy together, you know _properly_ happy... _I_  could have been _happy_..." Robert fought back the tears with a smile as he thought about Savannah for a second and then he was crying because the similarities were too hard to ignore.

 

"I tried happiness before with her didn't I, I was about to propose for fucks sake and then...then she left me, and yesterday I was about to run away and start over and...he left me..." Loui was suddenly hugging him tightly and allowing Robert to cry into his shoulder like he had done last night.

  
"You'll be happy, Robert I'll make sure of it." Loui let out shakily.

  
Robert was overwhelmed by the reality that happiness for him never did seem to last, that he spent life chasing the feeling and then missing it by an itch over and over again.

  
Robert pulled away as Loui mumbled, "Rob, I'm going into work and I'll find out what's going on okay?"

  
"What? I'm coming too." Robert said suddenly standing up and frowning in confusion.

  
Loui shook his head slowly and sighed  "Considering what...that you er...er, what happened yesterday maybe you won't be able to be on the -"

  
Robert stared back wide eyed  "No one has told me otherwise, I'm working to get Aaron free I don't care about the bloody case anymore."

  
He didn't, he really didn't care about being the best detective he could be. That was gone, that person had really died the minute he had set eyes on Aaron.

  
"Maybe it would be best to just stay low -"

  
Robert shook his head but then hesitated when he heard Loui's phone ringing. Loui gulped hard before answering.

  
"Grace? Hi yeah I'm coming in now...Robert? Yeah he's here..." Loui's face turned paler as he looked at Robert, "We're on our way now." He said shakily before hanging up and saying, "Jensen, he wants to see ya."

 

* * *

 

Robert was overwhelmed with the thought of seeing everyone, seeing Jensen and suddenly questioned why Jensen would want to see him, to boast maybe? That made him feel sick, want to be no where near the office but then he could try again with Jensen, try one last time to push through the barriers and make him understand that what he was doing was wrong. Maybe it could work. Robert hated how his life was filled with maybes now.

  
There was an eerie atmosphere in the office when Loui and Robert came inside and looked around the room, both of them had no idea how much the others knew about Aaron's arrest.

Yet Grace and Liam seemed to be quite clueless about it all, both were whispering as Robert past, all about Livesy getting caught but nothing else. They didn't seem to know _how_ he was caught it Robert's involvement at all and he could breath a tad easier knowing they were in the dark. Liam was a tosser, a _real_ prick because he was sitting back on his chair going on about how "Livesy must be a real idiot, getting caught when he wasn't even the main suspect anymore"

  
Loui had to pull Robert back when they heard the words because he knew Robert wasn't in the mood for any of Liam's opinions, especially now.

  
"Did ya hear about Livesy?" Grace said as she caught Loui by the arm and twisted him round. Robert stood awkwardly behind Loui, maybe he was right, maybe he should have stayed away.

  
"Yeah I heard about that..." Loui mumbled out before nodding towards Robert and gesturing for him to go and make himself a coffee, he knew Robert was struggling with all the talk already.

  
Robert huffed out a small sigh knowing that a _strong_ coffee would probably help settle his nerves, or it would just remind him of Aaron again and he would want to crumble.

  
Grace tutted quietly as she flipped through a few pages of documents and then said "I mean now they've managed to charge him with something according to Jensen so -"

  
Robert hadn't been able to move on his feet, Loui was simply staring for a few seconds and then he could hear Robert inhale all at once, shocked by the words.

  
" _Charged_? With...with what?" Loui said shakily before Robert had the chance to do or say anything.

  
Grace rolled her eyes and then Liam was scoffing and pointing towards Jensen's office "Him in there won't tell us anything, but he was _definitely_ involved somehow." He said quickly before shaking his head.

  
Robert stared into Jensen's office and fumed as he saw him hunched over his desk, like all the times before.

  
"So you know he's been charged but you don't know what for?" Loui said harshly as he watched Grace nod in agreement.

 

"Apparently it dosent concern us so I'm assuming it isn't flipping murder..." Grace mumbled out causing Loui's shoulders to relax slightly. Loui smiled at her and then turned to look at Robert, silently telling to calm down but Robert couldn't do that.

 

All he had heard was _charged_ , Jensen had been able to charge him with something and it would _ruin_ Aaron, being locked up for however long would _ruin_ him. Robert didn't even know that his feet were dragging against the floor but then they were practically pulling him towards _his_ office, _Jensen's_ office.

  
Loui was behind him, trying his hardest to drag Robert away but then Grace was calling him and Robert was mumbling, "He wanted to see me, remember?" and watching as Loui walked back towards the others.

 

Robert took a breath in sharply, knocking on the door hard and then pushing open the door as he heard Jensen let out a rough sounding "Come in." and then cough hard.

  
Robert was sickened by the sight of Jensen at his desk, he was surrounded by papers and piles of files that he was looking through. For a second pity ran through Robert because Jensen had never looked so broken and crumbled but then all at once he was raising his head and smiling that sick twisted smile and Robert was hating him all over again.

  
"Sugden, nice of you to come in...considering." Jensen said, pulling a face that made Robert want to jump over the desk and throttle him.

  
Robert breathed out slowly as he thought of Aaron and how he couldn't possibly let his feelings get in the way of finding out how he was doing "What have they charged him with?" He said quickly.

  
Jensen sighed hard as he looked up at Robert "Breaking and entering, so far anyway..." He smiled a little after saying the words, knowing that they would hurt Robert.

  
Robert shook slightly, "But he didn't, we _both_ know that..." He said because he was well aware now that it was Jensen that had told the authorities.

  
Jensen suddenly smiled wider and then tutted, "Little old Sugden eh, my right hand man who was lying all this time..." He said the words as if he was almost hurt and Robert remained silent as he watched Jensen stand up.

  
"I knew something wasn't quite right, I heard the way you were talking about him as if..." Jensen's eyes glinted with a particular streak of evil that unsettled Robert, "You... _knew_ him, personally." He added before smiling and shaking his head again, as if it was all just some joke.

  
Jensen moved closer towards Robert and whispered  "Tell me Sugden, how _personal_ did you get?" The chuckle he let out after was enough to make Robert turn away and feel sick. How could he have pitied him once? He wasn't this tortured person anymore, he was _enjoying_ himself.

  
" _Stop,_ " Robert let out as he felt the anger course through him.

  
Jensen came even closer to Robert, deciding to slouch against the front of his desk and cross his arms "I saw you leave here, knowing you had said something wrong, said his name, said Aaron..." Robert's jaw clenched at the memory, the minute things got even worse. The second things toppled over and were destroyed.

  
"Surprised you didn't spill out a nickname you call him, runaway boy, fugitive -"

  
"I said _stop._ " Robert was inches away from Jensen's face, his fists clenched because he had all these memories of Aaron flooding back and he was drowning.

  
Jensen cleared his throat and looked towards the floor and then the office outside his own, "Take a seat son, they'll be wondering what all the fuss is about -" his voice cool as anything.

  
"I don't care." Robert spat angrily before backing away again and sitting down across from Jensen again, he was tired of this anger, of this torment.

  
Jensen sighed softly before smiling and attempting to reach out and squeeze Robert's shoulder, "I should thank you son, I mean this time yesterday I was gonna give up, I thought there was no point and that finding this Livesy wouldn't solve anything." Robert gulped as he looked up at Jensen and frowned.

  
"Then what fucking changed then...?" The words crept out before suddenly Robert was inhaling sharply because he _knew_ what had happened, "You heard..." He whispered all at once before shaking his head.

  
Jensen smiled, "If your referring to you and and the robin to your batman discussing you hiding a bloody fugitive just outside my office then yeah, yeah I heard, I heard it all." He was smug, so smug it nearly killed Robert.

  
Jensen let out another laugh, "It's almost like you _wanted_ me to know, to get Livesy locked up. Seriously mate, thanks for that." He said darkly.

  
The thought of Robert subconsciously helping Jensen made him want to be sick, it felt like an even worse betrayal because it was all down to him, all of it. Robert was shaking as he thought about Aaron again, wondering if he was okay, if he was _really_ okay and wanting to hold him until his limbs grew numb. But he couldn't, Jensen was there again in the way of happiness, not only his but _Aaron's_ happiness. How fucking dare he?

  
Robert kept from his chair and pulled at Jensen shouting, "You sent them over to the flat, you...you fucking -" as he felt the _anger_ pour out of him messily.

  
Aaron was there all at once, behind Jensen and looking straight at Robert telling him to calm down, gesturing it all with his hands and the way he mumbled, "It's okay". Robert felt tears build in his eyes and he blinked long and hard before looking back and feeling his heart sink because Aaron was gone, Aaron was never there.

  
Robert sighed hard and tried to control his breathing as he pushed off of Jensen and fell back into the chair. Jensen didn't even seem shocked at all, he had accepted it considering the way Robert spoke about Aaron yesterday.

  
"This...this lad meant something didn't he?" For the first time Jensen sounded almost human again, almost like the old friendly Jensen and Robert looked up towards him shocked.

  
"Present tense, he hasn't _died._ " Robert blurted out the words angrily.

  
Jensen gulped hard, "Maybe it's better if you start seeing it that way..."

  
Robert tensed all over because the thought of seeing Aaron as something of the past was almost unimaginable, not when he was his future.

  
Robert bit down on his lip hard, "You can't let him get sent down for...for breaking and entering, there's no signs of forced entry." He said almost adamant that Jensen had to listen to him.

  
Jensen walked back towards his desk, "Son this man is wanted in connection to murder, if I say that he forced entry...he forced entry." He said the words so coolly as if he wasn't admitting to being able to tamper with charges. "It will be easy to get him to confess to murder, especially now..."

  
Robert's eyes widened  "What does that mean?" He let out shakily.

  
Jensen walked back towards Robert again and sighed "Well now I know this lad clearly had loyalty to ya and...might even feel what you feel, I suppose if he happens to find out that you...you might get in a bit of bother if he _doesn't_ confess to killing Tenner then...he might make things all a lot better."

  
Robert felt a shiver race down his spine, he was hearing his heart beat out of his chest because suddenly he was picturing Aaron giving up and telling them what they wanted to hear, thinking he was sparing Robert. He was selfless, he was the most selfless man Robert had ever known and he would do just that. Aaron had done so for his best friend Adam all those years ago, valued his life more than his own and fled to France to save him.

He would do the same now, Robert knew it because despite what Aaron had said the day before Aaron _loved_ him to value Robert's life over his own any day. He had already told Robert that he needed to keep quiet because he didn't want him loosing his job, he would do the same. He would do the fucking same and it was almost as if Jensen _knew_ he would.

  
"I won't let you do this." Robert mumbled, he knew he sounded weak and that his words lacked little conviction but to say nothing would be even worse.

  
Jensen rolled his eyes, "Oh I think you'll find that you have no say over what I do, it's down to me that your face isn't plastered all over the papers reading 'copper hides wanted lover' eh. I could have easily told them all about what really happened..." Jensen said harshly as he looked towards where Grace and Liam were.

"But I didn't, I kept you in the clear just like you'll do with me, you _owe_ me son, I kept quiet on the whole love affair that could have cost you your career, and now it looks like I pretty much own your little hide away lad too." His voice was dark and evil and filled with this anger and confidence that made Robert shake.

  
Robert gulped hard and stared back at Jensen harshly "I don't care about my job, you can tell them all. Tell anyone okay...just let him go though, he's innocent in all this." He was pleading as he said the last few words yet Jensen remained unmoved.

  
"Must be love, I remember a time when all you cared about was the next case coming through -"

  
"Yeah well I don't anymore, I just care about -"

  
Jensen waved an arm out "I heard you the eighteenth time. Aaron." He said before moving closer to Robert and finally saying "You know what though if you keep banging on about how much you care, I might just tell everyone...get you banged up beside him for what you've done, and before you start thinking about blackmailing me with the boys...where's the evidence?" He spat, almost knowing that Robert would break.

  
"Now I think that's enough, you go home, you look like you need some sleep." Jensen breathed out the words cooly and patted Robert harshly on the back leaving Robert stunned by how easily he could change personas, trick and fool anyone around him with his smile and his laugh that covered everything evil about him.

  
The air was thick and made Robert feel the need to inhale deep breathes, without a word he was gone, out of the room and forcing himself to make his legs work so he could carry himself towards the exit and out onto the street.

 

Loui called after him but he ignored it all, he just wanted Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for the comments and the patience in between chapters, I'm trying my best to update as soon as possible, the story is nearing the end and right about now it's at that frustrating part but yeah stick with it!


	30. Cry me a river.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well I'm just here to introduce myself, Nicholas Jensen" his eyes were fixed straight onto Aaron's as he spoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the longest of chapters but I just really wanted to get something up!

Aaron was expecting it in all honesty, charged, of course. It still didn't stop the way he was shaking all at once when they said the words, he was pushed into a cell afterwards and told that further questioning would be put in place later regarding the murder of Will Tenner. The thought of hearing about Will made Aaron feel sick but he couldn't let anything show, he kept it all hidden away until he was back on his own when he was allowed to break.

Time was just rolling by, hours blurring into hours and the thought of Aaron's life turning into this sorry existence was enough to make him want to cry and end it all.

Life was for living, Jackson had told him that before he died and Aaron had tried his hardest to always live by the words. That was until he was destroying his life in all ways possible, drink, crime, drugs, pain. Aaron's heart ached slightly as he thought about his mistakes, all the mistakes and all the pain he had caused that just made running away to France all that bit _easier_.

It was almost the only escape, running, it was what Aaron did best. He had run from his father, from those druggies who thought they owned him, his mother, then Paddy and Jackson and Ed until Robert appeared and suddenly running away was the _hardest_ thing to do in the world.

  
A shiver raced through Aaron when he thought about home, about how much they all knew about what was happening, they would be ashamed - that was almost a given, yet Aaron couldn't deny the need to speak to them and say he was sorry. Sorry. A sorry would not do anything justice yet he still had to try and make things easier.

His mum fell to the front of his mind, thinking back to the time he had rang and hesitated when he heard her catch her breathe and suddenly know it was him calling. The thought was a bitter sweet one, one that hurt him because after all the time away his mum still knew him, could still grasp it was him from simply a shaky breath. He desperately wanted to feel her pulling him into a crushing hug and making him feel warm and loved, despite her faults Aaron couldn't deny how easily her love would radiate around them whenever they were close. God he _needed_ that.

  
Aaron shuffled towards the door of his cell, knocking lightly and being met with the same friendly woman as before, her face was soft and caring and made Aaron relax slightly yet he couldn't help but notice the guard behind her staring sharply at him through the small window.

  
"Yes love," the woman said leaning closer and frowning slightly.

  
Aaron cleared his throat almost bracing himself, "Can I make that phone call now?"

 

* * *

 

He didn't have long, apparently they were transferring him into an actual holding area where he would await trail, the woman had told him however that 'considering' what the situation was, Aaron would be called into questioning regarding the murder and so would be "getting less time in a cell than the others".

Aaron had smiled, tried to anyway because he knew she was trying to help but she couldn't, not when he would be faced with endless questions about Will until they uncovered the truth or tried to anyway because Jensen, whoever this prick was with a vendetta against him, would want to frame him.

The dialling tone rang for years, Aaron was leaning against a wall, phone to his ear as he waited and waited. The officers were only a few feet away and Aaron couldn't help but feel his cheeks blush a little as he waited to hear a voice, doubt was in his mind. What if she didn't answer?

Suddenly the dialling tone stopped, the low mumbling ring was replaced with an intake of breath and a shallow sounding sigh.

  
"Hello..." Soft and nervous, laced with worry.

  
Aaron was shaking slightly as he held the phone close to him, her voice, home. "Mum." He whispered the words out all at once and waited again to hear anything.

  
"Oh my darling, my darling...Aaron, are you okay? Love, Aaron darling God -" her emotions betrayed her panicked voice and soon she was sobbing out tears, thick and fast and Aaron had to grip tighter onto the phone to stop himself from breaking like she was. It had been so long, he hadn't properly talked to his own mother since before he fled _from_ France and ended up burning cars in Leeds. The last time he spoke to her she asked him to come home and sort things out, he was lonely and missed Ed and he was tempted. He wished he had listened. She had tried to keep in contact with him but Aaron didn't want her sympathy, her love and pity. Yet now he needed it all, he craved every tear and upset in her voice just to _feel_ her emotions.

  
Aaron sighed softly and fidgeted on his feet, "Mum I'm fine, really okay I'm going to be okay." He was lying, lying through his teeth and shivering because of it all.

  
"Don't...you don't have to lie to me love, it's all over the papers...they've got you, they...you're in _prison_ Aaron." Chas sobbed causing Aaron to pull away from the phone for a few seconds to regain some composure, tears were threatening to fall and he couldn't handle it at all.

  
"They're saying, you...you _killed_ that lad, Aaron love -"

  
Aaron knew what she was trying to say "I didn't do it, please you have to believe me." The thought of his own mother thinking what everyone thought made him feel sick.

  
"Of course I don't." Chas said quickly, almost snapping "But...God Aaron, I don't want to lose you to a life in prison." Sh  let out almost desperately.

  
Aaron shut his eyes for a second and then gulped, "You won't, mum I won't let that happen okay because I'm innocent and I'm gonna do all I can to let them realise that." Somehow determination was pushing through him eagerly because he missed her so much and he just needed to make her happy. Chas had spent almost all her time in the company of Aaron, her own son, crying and worried and anxious about his foliage ways.

  
Chas let out a little whimper, "Please, please don't do anything...I mean I don't want you to put any pressure on yourself and do something -"

  
Aaron thought about what she was meaning to say, self harming, cutting and hurting himself to make the pain go away.

  
"Mum I'm not going to do anything like that." Aaron's voice was low and whispering slightly as he avoided the stares from the guards surrounding him, if they knew they would direct him to another ward, one full of people they had to 'watch out for'.

  
"I promise." Aaron whispered softly, desperate for the words to be true. "Mum if...if I get sent down for killing -"

  
"No, no don't say that..." Chas said, her voice once again filled with worry  "I couldn't bare that," she added, tugging at Aaron's heart suddenly.

  
Aaron gulped hard to stop himself from crying, "Would you visit me?" He whispered daring to know if he would have family again.

  
Chas sniffed before tutting "They'll have a hard time keeping me away eh" she said shakily, "And Cain and uncle Zack and Lisa, in time even Adam will be out to see ya to if it comes down to it son."

  
Aaron felt overwhelmed and suddenly latched onto a name.

  
"Adam. Is he okay? Is he alright?"

  
"Now he is, before he had a it of bother with some lads but an officer took a shine to him, kept him out of trouble and gave him work."

  
Aaron allowed himself to smile. Robert's doing.

  
The officer a few feet away started signalling towards Aaron, telling him to wrap up the phone call.

  
"Mum I have to go." Aaron whimpered as he buried his head further into the wall to avoid the officers seeing the tears well in his eyes.

  
Chas inhaled softly, "Oh darling okay...I understand."

  
Aaron hated the way her voice was somewhat calmer than before as if she had been expecting it all, she was used to this heartache from her son and it _killed_ Aaron.

  
Aaron shivered as he let out, "Mum I'm so sorry...I'm so _sorry_ for everything I've done."

  
Chas sniffed again before sobbing quietly, "Love, don't be sorry...just try your best to come back here with me, with the family" she whispered before adding "I love ya son, _never_ forget that."

  
Aaron smiled at the words, at her love.

  
"I love ya too, I'll ring you when I can okay..." Aaron whispered back before dragging the phone away from his ear and letting out a deep sigh.

 

* * *

 

The room he was taken to was darker than the others, the chair he was sitting on was just that little bit more uncomfortable and even the lighting seemed harder. Aaron shifted slightly as he sat there waiting for an officer to walk through the doors and start asking questions. He wasn't ready for it but somehow the thought of Robert seemed to settle him. Aaron allowed his eyes widened as he imagined how he was, how he was feeling about it all.

Foolishly Aaron thought about seeing him again, touching him and holding him close just _once_ more, the need to tell him he was sorry for lying and pushing him away grew more and more but then a woman was walking towards him and sitting down opposite, a man following behind her.

"Now Mr Livesy, I'm sure you're aware of the investigation regarding the murder of Will Tenner. It is vital that you tell us all you know about the case and who exactly was involved." The man had a voice that screamed authority and made Aaron almost shake with fear.

  
Aaron shook his head and turned towards his left "I'm not saying anything without a lawyer, I have the right -"

  
The woman nodded her head and disappeared for a minute as she left the room. The man chewed on his gum whilst Aaron shook his leg nervously, hearing all about Will would bring up bad memories and he needed someone beside him to tell him when enough talking had been said. Aaron's mind was in turmoil, one second he was damming the entire idea of defending himself knowing that this Jensen would only ruin things and then he would think of his mother and that fight was still there, still raging on.

  
The man sitting opposite Aaron rose to his feet suddenly, "I reckon getting someone to be made aware of all the fine details of the case will take a while, sit tight till then. I'm sure a guard will let you stretch your legs." The man sighed softly as he gestured towards the man outside the room, he didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that Aaron would be sitting there for an hour by himself.

Aaron silently cursed under his breath as he thought about what he would say when they came back into the room. The door opened again and another man walked in, larger, older and with a smile on his face that instantly unsettled Aaron as he sat across from him.

  
"Mr Livesy." the man's voice was dark and low as he spoke and Aaron dared to look up and meet his eyes, they were cold and uninviting making Aaron look away again.

  
"I'm waiting for a lawyer." Aaron was able to let the words out messily before stopping and see the glint in the man's eyes.

  
"Right then." The man cleared his throat, "Well I'm just here to introduce myself, Nicholas Jensen." His eyes were fixed straight onto Aaron's as he spoke.

  
Aaron felt his heart thump out of his chest, this was Jensen, this was the man who wanted him behind bars for a crime he hadn't committed.

  
Aaron gulped hard and turned his head away, the very presence of the man was incredibly unnerving and Aaron couldn't help but squirm slightly.

  
"I've been over seeing the murder of Will Tenner." Jensen said proudly, "But then again, you know all about that don't you." He added quickly.

  
Aaron let out a little sigh, "I'm innocent." The tiredness he felt was almost pouring out of him, how many times would he have to say it.

  
"Oh I know you are." Jensen said cooly. "And so does Robert, he wouldn't have protected you otherwise...well actually yeah he might've done even if ya were guilty, he reckons he loves ya." He chuckled out the last words and instantly made Aaron that bit more angrier about the entire situation.

It killed him, _killed_ him to think that Robert had confessed his feelings to this man and only had them laughed at.

  
Aaron moved further forward, "Yet ya still want to _frame_ me? You're that _twisted_?" He spat out, Jensen shouldn't have mentioned Robert, Robert was his Achilles heel.

  
Jensen sighed hard and rubbed at his forehead, "I'm not a bad person Aaron, I'm just a man who has to make _difficult_ choices, and unfortunately you confessing to murder is one of them." The words were let out cooly as if Jensen was harshly aware of the gravity behind them.

  
Aaron's eyes hardened at the words as his mother fell to his mind "And you just _expect_ me to confess to murder, to killing that poor bloke because it's easier for you somehow?" He shook almost all over, "I didn't do it, Harry and Harley Jay did it. You have _nothing_ on me, _nothing._ " Aaron added quickly.

  
Jensen rolled his eyes "So you'll put up a fight for this eh, you'll make me have to dig things up...when all you could do is just -"

  
Aaron shook his head harshly "Why would I do that? Why would I -"

  
"Because if you don't..." Jensen leaned further towards Aaron who was completely confused by the confidence he was displaying, "I'll make sure Robert gets what's coming to him too." He added coldly.

  
Aaron pulled himself away, the thought of Robert being hurt somehow was enough to make his stomach almost _twist_. That wasn't supposed to happen, Robert was meant to be _safe_.

  
"You...you wouldn't." Aaron let out shakily, a tear betraying his strong thoughts, "You..what does that even mean?"

  
Jensen sighed, "Trust me Aaron I don't want to do anything to Robert, all he did was apparently fall in love with a pathetic loser who he could never be with."

  
That hurt, it hurt badly.

  
"I didn't mean for -"

  
"You were selfish and you put his _whole_ career at risk." Jensen said harshly leaning over and making Aaron feel nothing but guilt. It was true, all of it.

  
"And you know what? He wouldn't have even minded if I told everyone about him hiding ya like some little pet, he actually _chose_ you over his own career" Jensen said coldly.

  
The words managed to take Aaron's breath away slightly, Robert had said things in the past but Aaron didn't listen to words as much as actions and now he had heard that Robert chose him, actually chose him over his job, a job he once loved.

  
"I could have told everyone about you and him but I didn't because he is a great detective and trust me, trust me I do care."

  
"Just not enough to spare him for a stupid case you can forget about." Aaron spat out angrily.

  
Jensen sighed hard again, "It's not that easy to just forget about it, you don't understand," he mumbled before looking up at Aaron and saying, "I don't want to hurt him but if a threat to his life will make you realise that you have no choice then..."

  
_His life_. Robert's life. Somehow it felt like a threat to Aaron's life too, as if they were connected.

  
Aaron felt his heart almost sink, the thoughts were circling his mind and he was picturing all the ways this twisted fucker could get rid of Robert. It was enough to make him want to be sick.

  
"I know people Aaron, don't put me in that position." Jensen said slowly making Aaron tense all over before a tear fell down his face.

  
He couldn't possibly speak, he had no words at all.

  
Jensen suddenly stood up and sighed, "I'll give you a few days to think about it, you won't be seeing that lawyer today or being interviewed. You can go back to your cell and think about it all." Aaron was stunned by his calm voice and the way he was ridiculously rational about it all, as if it meant nothing - Aaron's life meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.  
Jensen walked towards the door and then looked back at Aaron, "Think carefully Livesy." He said before leaving Aaron alone once more.

 

* * *

 

Aaron cried, he cried and cried and cried a bit more until his head ached from all the thudding. He had been almost adamant about trying his hardest to get out for his mother, for his whole family, for himself but then that had changed as soon as Jensen waltzed in and shattered everything at once with his threats. Aaron had a choice before, a choice to be strong and brave and determined or to be passive and weak and 'guilty' - but now that had gone. How could he have a choice when if he acted strong and brave and determined, Robert would _die_ , Robert would have his life taken all because he loved Aaron.

Aaron had no choice but to plead guilty, to 'confess' because it was the only way, Robert would be able to _live_ and move on and be happy and see the world.

Aaron would be behind bars for all of his life but that would be worth it, he would easily spare his life for Robert's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to get intense during the next chapters (only about four or five left I reckon) things happen quickly and its sort of a race against time situation lol, hope you enjoy! Xx


	31. Fighting back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly he turned around, cautiously attempting not to meet Robert's eyes, not to fall in love with them all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's coming to an end!!!!

Robert could hardly open his eyes the next morning, a bright intense light was hitting him harshly as he flickered them open slowly. Somehow the night before he had ended up back at his own flat, getting ridiculously drunk and deciding to let out all his emotions at once. He had toppled into his bed and cried as he looked around the room, the suitcase was still under the bed, messily shoved there at an awkward angle so that Robert could easily see it.

Robert cried himself to sleep that night, he was questioning everything and only managing to truly understand that he loved Aaron in a way that he had never loved anyone before, a love that he could not forget the way Jensen had talked about, a love that was irreplaceable. The very thought of never seeing Aaron again haunted him as he closed his eyes and gripped tightly onto Aaron's hoddie, the very one he arrived in. It still smelt of him as Robert buried his nose in it and gently stroked the material.

  
Now Robert was waking up by the bright light pouring in from an open window and hesitating to get out of bed, last night being lonely and drunk had made him forget the little things that reminded him of Aaron like the cushions on the sofa he would hug and the mugs of coffee Aaron would make for him. Now though Robert was dragging himself towards the kitchen and feeling his heart race, everything still looked the same yet was so different. Robert couldn't describe how he felt, he just knew that something was missing, Aaron was missing and he didn't know how much longer he could cope without seeing him. He wondered how he was doing of course and as Robert walked towards the sofa a memory of last night came flooding back.

A phone call, late night to a friend of a friend in the force. Robert was probably drunk by the time he eagerly asked about an update on Livesy yet thankful he had scratched some points down messily that he was able to read as he sat down on the sofa and sighed. According to last night's conversation Aaron would be interviewed today by the officers as...Robert looked closer towards the paper he had written on the night before, 'Jensen had already introduced himself'.

  
Robert shook slightly as he imagined Aaron having to face the man who was trying to frame him, Aaron. _Aaron_ , his Aaron. Robert tensed as he felt pain course through him, he was used to feeling physical pain, pain caused by his own life, but not pain because of someone else's pain. He was aching all over at just the thought of Aaron hurting, you could hurt Robert, beat him, torture his mind and make him want to give in, but not Aaron, not his Aaron who only deserved the greatness in life after the turmoil he had been through.

  
What had Jensen said to Aaron? Not that Robert would be hurt, killed, if he didn't confess. Not that. Robert breathed out heavily as he looked back to the paper he had written on, Aaron was being interviewed _today_ , he had time to see him. _No_. Aaron wouldn't want to see him, he would have to see Jensen, this was his final chance, a chance to get some evidence to stop all of this before Aaron did anything stupid.

  
Robert rose to his feet shakily as he decided to do something drastic, it was ten o'clock in the morning and any thoughts about work had escaped his mind. Jensen would be there already, sitting at his desk working out ways to plant evidence the best way he could. His home would be empty. Jensen had an ex wife, she wouldn't be around to interrupt if Robert just so happened to try and find documents to find against Jensen. Files that highlighted every single dodgy dealing and enough to make Robert have the upper hand entirely.

Robert wasn't thinking straight, as usual he was thinking about Aaron and him confessing to save Robert and how he couldn't allow that to happen, not when he could find actual evidence to blackmail Jensen with. It was a risk, Jensen could have hidden it anywhere yet he had to try. For the past few weeks his entire mind had been jumbled by love, by this blinding love for Aaron that made him giddy and oblivious and nowhere near as sharp and determined. Yet now, Aaron was out of his sight, Aaron was gone and he was determined again, quick, almost ruthless because somehow the love he had for Aaron wasn't making him weak, it was making him intensely strong.

Robert pushed out of the door, his jacket loose around him, he had lost weight. His pace quickened almost instantly as he approached his car and started the engine, he was in a wreck less state just _needing_ to find _hard_ evidence that would end this all.

 

* * *

 

Robert parked on the road next to Jensen's, making sure that Jensen wouldn't be able to know he was around. Robert shuddered slightly as he approached the door, Aaron was the only thing he was thinking of suddenly and it was enough to make Robert walk around the side of the large house. Robert peered closer into the window as he stared into the kitchen, clean, white and polished then he turned his attention towards the other window near his right. His head leaned closer as he looked at the other room his eyes were meeting, dark wood and a large chair and a desk. His office.

Robert gulped hard as he pulled away from the wall, it was the morning yet he had just missed the busy work and school run. Still, he looked odd standing by the large house and clearly looking shaken by what he was doing, a part of him couldn't help question his own insanity. This wasn't him. Robert shook his head hard and began to wall away from the house, he had no idea what had been racing in his head when he thought he could just swan in and collect evidence without anything going wrong. He was slightly ashamed of himself as he quickened his pace, a tear escaped his eye as he thought about what would happen if he simply gave up. The thought circled his mind until all at once he heard a voice and he stopped dead in his tracks, he gulped hard and turned round to see a woman carrying a bin bag and smiling at him sweetly screaming 'harmless'.

  
"Can I help you?" Her voice was filled with kindness as she walked towards Robert and then back at Jensen's house "House - Keeper" she added, Robert's frown making her do so.

  
Robert's jaw tensed all at once because how could he refuse now? An open invitation was right there, all he had to do was lie and say he worked for Jensen and needed to get something from his office. The woman looked to kind to question him or even think about checking with her boss and it instantly relaxed Robert to think it could work.

  
"Yeah actually, I work for Mr Jensen, he wanted me to collect a certain file from his office." Robert lied looking towards the house and then back at her.

  
The woman frowned softly "He never said..." She didn't seem to be questioning him but just nearly, enough to put Robert on edge a tad.

  
"He asked me just now." Robert said walking towards her a little more and then looking at the house, the door was already half open and the woman nodded her had as she put the bag in the bin and then smiled at Robert.

  
"Come in then." The woman said as Robert followed behind her, she walked towards the living room and then turned right so that she was standing in front of a large door. The woman bit her lip before digging into her pocket and pulling out a key.

Robert tensed behind her. _Wonder why he needs it locked?_

  
The door pushed open and Robert was met with the familiar dark wood and desk. He almost shuddered which caught the woman by surprise, she was smiling at him though and then watching him walk into the room before mumbling out "I'll leave you to it."

  
Robert breathed out a heavy sigh as he raced towards the desk and began shuffling files on the table, none of them mattered to Aaron and he swore angrily as he pushed them aside. Robert sat back on the large chair and pulled open the top drawers revealing pens, pencils and a large stapler along with another pile of files that mentioned nothing but old cases he obviously hadn't filed yet. _Lazy prick._

  
Robert rubbed a hand over his head as he got up from the chair and began walking around the small room, a book shelf was fitted awkwardly in the corner and Robert trailed his hand across the well known book titles he was seeing. A hand reached out for a book suddenly, he had read it years ago and it had _stuck_ , he couldn't believe how relevant it appeared now. The innocent killer. _The irony._

  
Robert held the book in his hand and sighed softly aa a finger ran down the spine. It felt lighter than he thought and almost instinctively he was pulling it open and then gasping at what he saw.

  
The middle page had been stretched open wide revealing a hollow emptiness as if somebody had cut out dozens of pages and left a deep rectangular hole for Robert to see. The content was what made Robert shiver all over because there it was, staring at the phone, _the_ black brick phone that was Jensen's, the one he had been talking on. Robert carefully picked it up and held it in his hand, he looked closer trying to pick up small details and realising that it was exactly the same.

Robert flipped the phone over and saw that the SIM card was still slotted in place firmly, all at once he caught his breath as he pushed down on the button located at the top of the phone.

The screen changed to a bright colour replacing the blackness and Robert held his breath as messages began to pop up, one from unknown number saying: _Livsey_   _confessed? Answer me._

And then another one from 'H' saying: _Harley is getting out of hand, another fight with a local last night. Clear our names or you'll be next._

  
Robert pulled away from the phone, Harry, the prick.

  
Robert sighed as he clutched onto the phone and walked back towards the desk, he was wondering if the single object would be enough to scare Jensen into letting Aaron go. It had to be. He picked up a few sheets of plain paper from the desk realising that the house - keeper thought he had to pick something up, then he was shoving the phone into his pocket and walking out the door again.

  
_Triumphant._

  
Robert was driving to the office, needing to confront Jensen and blackmail him, see how he liked it. Jensen was there as Robert pulled up outside, he looked even worse than yesterday but Robert ignored that entirely. Jensen approached Robert's car slowly, his face pale and his eyes looking heavy and tired.

  
Robert pushed a button in the car and watched as the window rolled down so that he could hear whatever Jensen was going to say.

  
"You're late." Jensen let out cooly, "Where have ya been?"

  
Robert stared at the wheel of his car, "Home." Thinking about his flat and referring to it as home felt wrong, so very wrong when it was empty, when it was without Aaron.

  
"Well you're lucky I don't mind." Jensen let out a dark chuckle and then leaned closer into Robert's personal space "I should be going..." He said before looking down at his watch and then back to Robert.

  
Robert's jaw clenched "Going where?"

  
"Oh I have to make a few calls." Jensen smiled softly, a triumphant one almost, "By the end of today, all of this should be over and done with."

  
Robert couldn't help but feel unsettled by his words that managed to sting and cause him to frown "What...what does that even mean?" He let out shakily before thinking back to that morning and remembering that Jensen had talked to Aaron. How could he forget?

  
"Ya know what..." Jensen sighed hard, "Aaron, he really put up a fight at first until I mentioned what would happen to ya."

Robert shivered at the words, no one had informed him of how Aaron was and now Jensen was telling him that he had been putting up a fight. Robert couldn't help but feel his heart hammering away, the words were killing him. To know that Jensen had _destroyed_ that fight in Aaron just _killed_ him.

  
"Then he started babbling on about how I couldn't do that." Jensen shrugged his shoulders and tutted as he saw Robert turn a shade lighter, almost frozen and unable to speak.

  
"You're sick and you need to let him go before I -" Robert reached towards his pocket but froze as he heard Jensen speak again.

  
"He should be getting interviewed any minute now, _confessing._ " Jensen said cooly.

  
Robert's eyes widened not knowing what to do. If he went, if he drove off he could convince Aaron to not say anything to them at all but if he stayed he could show Jensen the evidence and make him call it off. But that would take too long. Jensen could still try to argue his point somehow and Robert could miss his opportunity to see Aaron entirely.

  
Robert didn't think twice, he needed to see Aaron desperately because he missed him that badly and despite the risk of Aaron already confessing to murder, he had to, he just had to chance it.

 

* * *

 

Robert was outside the station, his hands trembling as he parked his car and walked towards the entrance. Instantly he was back to a few days ago when he was pushed out of the station, without Aaron by his side and completely broken. Robert moved steadily towards the desk, met with a smile because many people seemed to know who he was, a flash of a smile back and a dangle of his ID card made him get pulled into a small room instantly.

  
"I'm looking for Livesy." Robert blabbed as he stared around the room.

  
The officer crossed his arms and frowned as if to say something just with his expression.

  
Dread fell to the front of his mind instantly. _Don't tell me he's gone, please don't tell me he's already being interviewed_.

  
"I need to speak to him, urgently." Robert said quickly, moving towards the officer he didn't seem that bothered at all.

  
"He is waiting in one of the cells, do you want me to get him for ya."

  
Robert let out a sigh of relief almost at once, "Yes, yes now." He said suddenly overwhelmed.

  
The officer frowned a little and moved towards Robert, "Sir, you'll have to be quick though 'cos..." He leaned even closer "You're not really allowed to just demand to see a suspect who's waiting to be interviewed for his part in a murder." He added with a whisper.

  
Robert gulped hard and then nodded, this officer looked too young and naive to tell if Robert was being at all shifty and suspicious.

 

The wait was almost hours as Robert played with his hands and wondered what he would say when he was met with Aaron, the same officer came in seconds later. Alone.

  
"Where is -"

  
"He's not in his cell, he might have been taken already -"

  
Robert's eyes widened as he looked at the guard. _No, No, No..._

  
"What do ya mean, he can't be." Robert breathed in shakily as he pushed past the officer and raced out towards the hallway.

 

Robert quickened his pace, walking faster, almost running as he tried desperately to see Aaron before it was too late.

  
Robert's heart thumped out of his chest, beating harder and harder as his eyes met his, met Aaron's.

 

He was standing there, waiting by the desk with two other officers. His hair was fluffy, soft to the touch Robert thought as he stared at Aaron's pale complexion, his torso that told Robert he had definitely lost weight. Robert couldn't speak, his mouth completely dry as he tried to compose himself, but then Aaron was walking away from him, his back was turning and he was walking towards the exit and Robert had no choice but shout for him.

  
"Livesy." Robert had somehow managed to say his surname instead of Aaron and then he was staring ahead as Aaron stopped dead in his tracks. Robert couldn't help but wonder if Aaron already knew exactly who it was, a part of him hoped he did.

  
Aaron breathed in hard, he had heard, of course he had and he had realised straight away who it was. _Robert_.

  
Slowly he turned around, cautiously attempting not to meet Robert's eyes, not to fall in love with them all over again.

  
Robert hitched his breath as Aaron turned to face him, his head was looking towards the floor and Robert begged for him to raise it so that he could see Aaron's beautiful eyes, so blue.

  
For a second Aaron raised his head and allowed himself to look at Robert, he had to admire him and see him because he had missed him so much, so _fucking_ much and it hurt to see the way Robert looked so panicked, so lost. Their eyes met and Robert had to stagger back a little, the effect of Aaron still managed to make him weak.

  
An officer from the side of Robert cleared her throat and interrupted the moment.

  
"Er Sugden he's off for an interview." The woman said looking between Robert and Aaron.

  
Robert nodded his head and gulped hard, "I just need him to look over a few things before he leaves." He said desperately before looking at Aaron and seeing the way he was looking back. Almost dreading the thought of being anywhere near Robert again, it hurt.

  
The officer by Aaron smiled and let out a little scoff, "That's what this interview is about love."

  
Robert shook his head "They, er...I...they haven't been filed for the interview, ya know it will be a bit of hassle to do that now...you go and have a cuppa, ten minutes." He said shakily before letting out a smile and making the officer's by Aaron pull a face that screamed 'that's alright with me'.

  
Aaron felt a hand touch his back as one of the men by his side guided him towards Robert, he had no idea what Robert was playing at but he didn't like it, he couldn't be near Robert now.

 

* * *

 

Robert stood there in the room, grey, dark, with a door that shut them both in. He shivered slightly because of the cold and tried to think of what to say, an officer was right outside the door for his own protection and Aaron was firmly at the corner of the room avoiding all eye contact like before.

  
Robert walked towards Aaron slowly, he couldn't _not_ touch him, not when he was in the room with him, only them, so close.

  
"Aaron." Robert whispered gently, he was moving even closer and reaching a hand out to touch Aaron's chest.

  
Aaron felt tears prick his eyes as he dropped his head towards the ground, just hearing Robert say his name was nearly enough to make him crack and crumble, he couldn't say anything back.

  
Robert hovered a hand over Aaron's chest and then gently placed it there, bracing himself for rejection and knowing that Aaron would be hating his touch. Every part of Aaron told him to move away, to brush off Robert's hand but he couldn't, his heart probably was telling him to let it stay there. Even now he couldn't deny Robert's touch not when once upon a time Robert didn't want to touch Aaron at all, afraid it would 'complicate' things.

  
"I'm so sorry." Robert whispered as he looked down towards the floor copying Aaron and trying to press further towards Aaron's body. Robert had a plan, a reason for being there but that had dissolved almost instantly and he was a mess because this was Aaron.

  
Aaron stayed silent, he couldn't say anything still. What would be the point in telling Robert he had nothing to be sorry for, that he still loved him, that in fact _he_ was sorry for all those things he said before he was arrested.

  
"I wanted to see ya that night, Loui though, he said it wouldn't help...wouldn't do any good and that ya wouldn't want to see me..." Robert chocked up slightly, he was hearing Aaron's own sniffs, trying to hold back his tears and failing. "He was right wasn't he?" Robert couldn't deny the way although Aaron was in tears, he wasn't reaching out like Robert was. His arms were still firmly by his sides, not even attempting to hold Robert, to hold on.

  
Aaron's silence said it all, it told Robert to move away from him and although it hurt he needed to understand that Aaron had been locked up for days, innocently.

  
Robert walked backwards, ruffling a hand through his hair as he let out a small sigh and then turned around sharply. For a minute he had felt sorry for himself, for the fact that obviously Aaron didn't want him anymore, would never forgive him for not keeping him safe. Robert was stupid to think that just because he didn't want him dead, he would want to be with him.

But then that didn't matter anymore, what mattered most was making Aaron a free man and convincing him not to confess to killing Will. 

"I know you've seen Jensen." Robert let out shakily causing Aaron to instantly look up, his eyes filled with panic again that made Robert hate Jensen even more, clearly Aaron was scared of him.

  
Robert shook his head and slowly walked back towards Aaron who was playing with his hands nervously, Robert got closer until he was able to grasp them and stop Aaron from shaking, "I know what he told you, but you _can't_ confess, Aaron don't worry about me." He said slowly making sure Aaron understood.

  
Aaron frowned hard wanting desperately to say _Worry? That's all I seemed to do_ but stopping himself because Robert was hesitating to speak again.

  
"I _know_ that asking you to trust me...it's a long shot considering..." Robert gripped tighter onto Aaron's hands and was thankful that Aaron was staring down at the them and not pulling away, "But _nothing_ is going to happen to me, nothing okay because I've got a plan...a plan that's gonna make all of this go away, to get you out of here, _safe_ , I promise I won't let you down again Aaron." Robert whispered into Aaron's chest, a tear escaped and threatened to make Robert appear even weaker than he already did but then Aaron's hand was there, gently stroking at Robert's face and wiping it away.

Robert didn't dare look up, didn't dare say anything to ruin the tender moment between them, instead he allowed Aaron to nod his head almost in agreement and pull him closer until they were both holding each other tightly. Aaron had betrayed himself, told himself that he couldn't get close to him and that whatever Robert was saying wouldn't work but he had anyway.

Like always, he couldn't run away when it came to Robert.

  
Aaron pulled away first, looking at Robert and then finally saying, "We should have ran away sooner." The words cut Robert _deep_ , he could feel the sadness radiating from the troubled boy in front of him. The words weren't just wishing he was away from it all, they were a signal of hope almost for Robert to hold onto because Aaron had said 'we' instead of 'I'.

  
Robert couldn't help but hold a hand up to Aaron's face gently stroking over his cheeks "I know, I know hoods...but everything is gonna be okay." Aaron smiled weakly at the nickname and nodded his head because he had no idea whether or not to trust whether it really would be okay, "Remember that beach?" Aaron nodded his head slowly as he thought about how calm it made him feel, Robert noticed the way Aaron began to loosen his shoulders at the words, "You'll be there again, you will and you'll be happy, that house right near it, you'll have it as your own, I promise."

Robert was babbling on, knowing it didn't make a lot of sense especially the last part but that didn't matter because Aaron was nearly smiling at the words, he couldn't help it. He knew it was all rubbish but it didn't matter, just hearing Robert was enough. Robert had this way about him that just made Aaron feel, _comfortable_ , comfortable to _cry_ and _laugh_ and _scream_ and _shout_ and just _love_ with all his heart. He wasn't sure what would happen next, if what Robert was saying was true or if it wash what would happen to them together but he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about not being able to emotionally be able to handle loving Robert openly again, loving anyone.

Fear, it was the only thing that he was certain of, the only emotion he would allow to feel whole heartedly.

  
Aaron sniffed again, "I won't confess." He whispered and suddenly a wave of relief washed over Robert because somehow it told him that Aaron trusted him enough.

  
Robert almost fell into Aaron's chest as he whispered, "Thank you, you have no idea Aaron, I'm not gonna loose you." Aaron held him close, stunned by the words slightly and all the emotion behind them because Robert still wanted him, nothing had changed for him, yet he hadn't been locked up had he? He hadn't had people tell him he was guilty and have to relieve everything he hated. He wasn't forced to wish the past two years of his life hasn't happened, regretfully including them ever meeting and hating himself for it. Aaron sighed softly into Robert before watching as he pulled himself off and stood up straight.

  
"I need to go now." Robert said wiping at his face hard and then smiling at Aaron reassuringly. Aaron nodded his head and tried to think of what to say but Robert was already moving towards the door, clearly not wanting to say any heartfelt goodbyes.

  
Aaron walked in front of Robert suddenly blocking him, his eyes wide with worry, "Rob, _please_ don't, don't get yourself into any danger...I couldn't forgive myself if...if after all this you _still_ ended up hurt". Robert felt his heart thump a little because it showed Aaron cared, still cared and instantly Robert was nodding his head and telling Aaron it was okay, he would be okay and then gently kissing Aaron's forehead before leaving.

Aaron stood there for a second, shakily trying to get himself back together again and hearing the soft and gentle voice of Robert telling him to _trust_ him. It was enough he thought, he just hoped Robert would be enough at the end of it all, if his _love_ would be enough.

 

* * *

 

Robert breathed out gently as he walked back towards his car, the officer outside had already taken Aaron and he found a sense of peace come to him as he started his car and began driving. Simply seeing Aaron had somehow made him stronger, as if Aaron's fragile heart was the only thing capable of making him this way, this strong and _powerful_ because Aaron being at his lowest instantly made him _that_ bit more ruthless, to stop his pain. He was stronger when he was with Aaron, there was no denying that.

Robert was safe in the knowledge that Aaron wouldn't say anything to the police, a feeling that he had craved to know since Aaron was dragged away from him that night. Robert leaned back in his car, relaxed and feeling Jensen's phone firmly in his pocket managed to make him smile. Rain was plummeting down now, hard and fast and suddenly Robert's eyes widened in shock as he turned the corner and parked at the side of the police station. Jensen was there, standing and staring at Roberts car, _glaring_ really and making Robert squirm slightly. He had intended to smugly show him the phone and laugh right in his face as he told him to let Aaron go or else, see if he liked it but now Jensen was unsettling him as he came nearer to the car.

Robert gulped hard, he had been there a few hours ago, only this time Jensen was banging on the glass before he had the chance to roll down the window himself.

The rain was soaking Jensen as he pushed his entire body forward and shakily said, "Open the door," as Robert stared up at him.

  
Robert frowned softly, he wanted to say no but somehow he pushed a button and Jensen walked around so that he was sitting in the passengers seat. Aaron had sat there, a smile lacing his lips and eyes bright and blue, hands crossed over Robert's right one, lazily as they drove back from the beach, hair still littered with sand. Robert dared to turn and look at Jensen, he was shaking, trembling as he looked straight out of the window. He looked _terrible_ , truly shocking but Robert didn't give a fuck about him.

  
"What do you want?" Robert let out, surpassing himself because he appeared strong and brave.

  
Jensen sighed gently before patting at his wet coat and looking at Robert, "What did _you_ want is more the question." He said bitterly.

  
Robert gulped hard and realised what he could be referring to, the thought unsettled him again.

  
"Drive Sugden, we've got a lot to talk about - don't ya think?"

  
Robert looked straight ahead, the rain started to settle down again and somehow it managed to make him more nervous as if the clearer the roads were coming, the clearer he was becoming about what exactly they would be discussing.

  
Robert cleared his throat and turned to Jensen who was trying his very best to unnerve him, "Where to?"

  
Jensen bit down on his lip, "M'house." He let out slowly, making sure to study the way Robert's face fell at the news, "I reckon you know the way eh Sugden." He added sickly, a smile, fake and menacing enough to make Robert break his stare.

  
Robert shuddered as he moved a hand over the wheel of the car and began driving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about this chapter guys, there's about five left to do I think so action is heating up pretty quickly!


	32. A distant reality.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert shut his eyes, he was back on that beach again and he was at peace, just for a few more hours at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one of my favourites, a nice long one with lots going on lol, enjoy ;)))

The drive was silent, almost unbearably so. Somehow it made Robert even more nervous but he didn't know why. He had the upper hand, he had the evidence yet Jensen was so tight lipped about it all, he didn't know exactly what Jensen knew.

Jensen opened the door of his office, Robert following behind him at a steady space and suddenly wondering if he had left it in a mess. Robert's eyes fell on the desk, it looked near enough and Jensen didn't seem to care as he sat down and stared at Robert.

"I have a house - keeper." Jensen said quickly as he studied Robert's expression, "She likes to chat a lot, blab on about nothing really." He let out a chuckle and watched as Robert stared at him hard.

"She told me that someone was round here this morning, for _me_ , getting files and all sorts." Jensen said darkly, his eyes fixed on Robert's as he spoke.

For a second Robert felt like a child being told off by his father, but then he thought about Aaron and how he needed to be strong for him, how Jensen had no right to make him feel guilty about what he had done, what he had taken.

  
Robert cleared his throat, "Yeah it was me." He said slowly, "We both know why I was here and who _pushed_ me steal."

  
Jensen stood up then, his face suddenly scrunched together as he looked at Robert, " _Steal_? What exactly...what did you steal eh?"

  
Robert huffed out quietly before fishing the phone out of his pocket and watching as Jensen staggered back, "The innocent killer eh, how bloody ironic." He said with an air of confidence that took even himself by surprise.

  
Jensen almost instantly turned pale, running a hand down his face shakily as Robert stared at him.

  
"Where did - what -" Jensen couldn't speak, his mouth completely dry and his entire body fighting the urge to shake.

  
Robert moved further towards Jensen, "Now here is what's gonna happen." Robert took a few steps closer, "You're going to let Aaron out, drop every charge you have on him and let him go."

  
Jensen shook his head and let out a small sigh, "He was interviewed today like I said, I bet he -"

  
"I got to him in time before your _poison_ ruined his life!" Robert shouted as he loomed over Jensen.

  
Jensen looked horrified, he had been counting on a confession. "No, no you don't understand Robert -"

  
Robert moved backwards, Jensen's plea's meant nothing to him.

  
"You drop the charges, clear his name and let him go or..." Robert held the phone up again, "Everyone finds out _exactly_ who you are."

  
Jensen shook his head, "You can't, Robert they will come after _me_ if they find out I've let Aaron go -"

  
"He's an innocent man! He's suffered enough and he deserves to be happy" Robert shouted out the words, meaning every single one.

  
Jensen rolled his eyes, "What, with you?"

  
Robert hesitated slightly, of course he had thought about what would happen when Aaron was free, of course he hoped that Aaron wouldn't just want to run for the hills and forget everything that had happened, including what they had together.

  
"This isn't about me -"

  
"Of course it is." Jensen sneered, "But he won't want ya, you know that right?"

  
Robert twitched slightly, the thought killed him but he had to ignore it. He knew exactly what he was trying to do.

  
"I just want him free." Aaron's happiness was all that mattered, "It's the least you owe him."

  
Robert saw how defeated Jensen appeared in front of him and edged closer knowing that Jensen was realising there was no way out.

  
"They'll kill me." Jensen muttered out as he tried to catch his breath.

  
"Not if you act quickly, not if you lie to them and say that everything is okay back here." Robert didn't understand why he was trying to help Jensen, but he was.

  
"You don't understand, you really don't know what -"

  
"Police protection." Robert let out quickly as he watched Jensen's face fall.

  
"Months in hiding!" Jensen said almost horrified by the idea.

  
Robert scoffed, leaning forward as he let out, "See how you like it," and instantly thought about Aaron.

  
Robert turned to walk away and stopped as he heard Jensen shout out, "I'll do it".

  
Relief washed through him all at once as he saw the look on Jensen's face, _utterly_ defeated.

  
"By tomorrow, I want him out Jensen. I mean it." Robert said still clutching the phone, "Don't make me have to do anything with this "

  
Jensen nodded his head sheepishly "Once I do it -"

  
"I'll destroy it, no one will have to know." Robert let out sharply as he waved the phone out in front of him.

  
"Until the boys find out..." Jensen said, his voice trembling slightly, _terrified_.

  
Robert gulped hard, he didn't want Aaron jailed, but yet he didn't want to see Jensen harmed in any way.

  
"You've only got yourself to blame, you _know_ that Jensen, _don't_ try and make me feel -"

  
Jensen cleared his throat and batted a hand in front of Robert dismissively before sighing, "I'm fully aware who's fault this is, I need to find a way out..."

  
Robert frowned, the words almost staggered him slightly because he didn't understand what they really meant. What was he trying to say?

  
"I need to go." It was a feeble attempt at leaving but Jensen was too distressed to say anything to keep him staying.

 

Robert didn't want to look back when he left, he wanted to race to his car and escape the rain as quickly as possible but he soon found himself staring at his boss through the window and feeling sick. Head in his hands, shaking as he dialled in a number, Robert looked closer and worked out that Jensen was saying 'police please'. The thought settled him as he ripped his eyes away and shuddered from the relentless rain.

Coming back to his flat for the first time over the past few days felt somewhat normal for Robert, he was allowing himself to think about Aaron laying next to him soon, Aaron kissing him like he always wanted to do. _Aaron. Aaron. Aaron._

  
It wouldn't be long until he felt him in his arms again, he _hoped_.

 

* * *

 

Robert flickered his eyes open and immediately shut them tight again, he had been dreaming, such wonderful thoughts and he wanted to race back and search for them again before the bright light of day ruined it all. Robert had to concentrate hard, pressing his eyes firmly and then he was there again:

 

_Robert could feel the warmth on his skin, the sun oozing down onto him, he was on soft sand, warm just like the sun and suddenly he almost knew he was on that beach. Robert felt his heart tug a little as he stared ahead and resisted the urge to run towards Aaron and throw his arms round him. He couldn't though, not when Aaron was flinging a toddler in the air, a little boy, their little boy he thought, with curly brown hair and these incredibly blue eyes that seemed to make him catch his breath a little. He was wearing these little red shorts and laughing like mad, obviously enjoying himself. The boy had this smile, a beautiful one and Aaron was mirroring it exactly as he threw him higher and higher. The sea nearby them tickled their feet and suddenly they were running towards Robert, racing really, and Robert's heart skipped a beat as he readied himself for their embrace -_

 

The phone was ringing, loud and relentless in Robert's ear as he felt himself being dragged away from his dream, a fantasy really, one he could have easily lived in for the rest of the day. It kept ringing until Robert rolled over in his bed and attempted to make a grab for his phone, still the thought of Aaron not being there next to him was enough to make him shake slightly and then swear as the phone fell to the ground as a result.

Robert leaned over, suddenly thankful for his long arms that could easily pull his phone into his hands. As soon as he turned his phone over in his hands the ringing stopped and Robert rolled his eyes in annoyance, _that_ had ruined his dream. Robert huffed out a sigh and frowned as he looked at the time flashing on his phone - **11:42**. He had overslept, he didn't care. Then his eyes fell onto the name on the screen, again and again, Loui. How hadn't he heard the... _nine_ missed calls?

Robert ran a hand through his hair and bit down on his lip as he saw Loui's name flashing up again, this time a message: **Rob, ring me when you get this, it's urgent.**

Robert blinked slowly, a part of him didn't care really but then he thought about Aaron, the case, _Jensen_ and he was already pressing 'call'.

The phone only dialled for a second or so and then Loui was there, breathing heavily down the phone and making Robert instantly worried.

  
"Er hello." Robert mumbled out, the words were let out clumsily, he was still thinking of that _damn_ dream.

  
Loui panted hard, enough for Robert to hear, "Oh _now_ he answers his damn phone, I've been ringing ya -"

  
Robert steadied his breathing, he wasn't in the mood for this right now, "Okay I'm sorry, what's wrong -"

  
Loui cleared his throat as if he was preparing himself to say something big, "It's Aaron..." Robert instantly pulled himself up on the bed, his heart racing as he gripped onto the sheets, "He's being let go." Loui added the words, whispering them slightly.

  
Robert instantly felt his shoulders relax, gratitude _pouring_ in as he realised that Jensen had stuck to his words, he would destroy the phone now, Aaron would be free and it would be over, _finally_ over.

  
Panic surged through him suddenly though as he wondered where Aaron was now, "Is he okay? Where - where is he going -"

  
Loui coughed gently, "He's still at the prison, they're sorting out his release, away from the public eye though so..."

  
Robert couldn't quite put his finger on the emotion behind Loui's voice, it almost sounded sad, sullen about the entire thing and he didn't understand why exactly that was.

  
"Loui are you sure -"

  
Loui let out a sigh, hard and filled with frustration, again making Robert frown, "No mate, er...no there's something else."

  
Robert instantly had his back up again, straightening as he tried to prepare himself, "Go on then.." He let out trying to disguise the shakiness of his voice with a chuckle, failing.

  
"This morning, Jensen...er...he was, found by his house - keeper." Loui let the words out quickly as if not to dwell but Robert was already panicking and feeling sick at what it all meant.

  
" _Found_?" It was all he could manage to say, his mouth was suddenly dry.

  
"Mate they think he's tried to _kill_ himself, last night."

  
The words rang loudly in Robert's ears, _tried to kill himself_  - that wasn't Jensen, he didn't do that sort of thing, he was strong and ridiculously resilient. Robert gulped hard, he knew that he hadn't been like that last night, weak and tortured were better words to describe the man last night. Robert had _known_ that, yet _chose_ to walk away, how could he have done that?

  
"Er, how did -"

  
"He was surrounded by pills, loads of 'im, and there was a few bottles on his desk that he had opened." Loui said the words slowly this time, almost allowing it to sink in for Robert.

  
The office, still in the office, maybe he hadn't moved at all.

  
"Shit." It wasn't what he wanted, not like this, "Is he going to be okay Loui?" Robert sounded like a little boy, vulnerable.

  
"He's in the hosptial, still alive." Loui didn't seem that fazed it, but then again he hadn't seen how broken Jensen was the night before. "He won't be getting out anytime soon, can't exactly discharge himself when his shackled to the bed" Loui muttered out the last words and sighed.

  
Robert's eyes widened in surprise, "What do ya mean he's shackled to -"

  
Loui cleared his throat again and then suddenly grew quieter, "Jensen didn't _just_ leave behind some pills and empty bottles on his office desk..." Robert hitched his breath, "He er, left a note confessing about where exactly the boys are in Germany, right down to a fucking _address_. He said that they were responsible for the murder and he explained _why_ he was protecting them, all about his past and how corrupt he has and why he had to end his life before they did it for him. He's finished Rob."

  
Robert couldn't understand what he was feeling, _relief_? Yes, because Jensen deserved everything he got considering the hell he had put him and Aaron through, as well as all the others he had ruined in the past. But he was unsettled by it all, unsettled by the fact that he had somehow drove a man to want to commit _suicide_ , because had not given him anyway out, not one.

Robert cleared his throat and heard Loui tell him more about Jensen, about how the police were already looking into everything and were shocked by their findings, as well as mentioning his condition being better than they thought and how the others at work had all been made aware and were shocked by the news, even grace was all her cleverness. Robert chirped in every so often with with a little sound to let Loui know he was still there but he wasn't really listening anymore, his mind was racing with all these emotions he couldn't ignore and he wanted it all to _stop_. Even laying in a hospital bed, facing prison, Jensen was still able to _shatter_ the happy thoughts he had of Aaron being free again, _typical_. Robert eventually ended the phone call, hearing Loui promise to ring him back if he heard any news about Aaron at all, not about Jensen, that much was clear.

  
Robert sank back under the covers, feeling the cool of his sheets settle him slightly as he tried to wrap his head around the news. Aaron was getting out, Aaron was being let go, Aaron was _free_. Robert shut his eyes, he was back on that beach again and he was at peace, just for a few more hours at least.

 

* * *

 

Aaron had been having nightmares, one after the other and each one annoyingly more vivid than the last. They started the minute he had seen Jensen, flashes of events came racing through his mind and as soon as his head hit the pillow that night he was relieving moments he just wanted to forget. Even seeing Robert hadn't put an end to them entirely, he would wake with a start and shake all over because that night was on his mind - Will, Will, Will.

There was only one thing that managed to settle him slightly, the way Robert had been babbling in about that beach, it was calming, so soothing and it made Aaron forget for a minute what a mess his life was at the moment. He had trusted Robert and not told the police anything but it didn't help, all they did was try even harder to blame things on him.

The sound of the cell door being opened sent a shiver down Aaron's spine, it was early, he couldn't be questioned again. Aaron straightened his back as he watched the officer interviewing him walk through the door, a sour look on her face as she stared down at Aaron.

  
Aaron gulped hard, she looked unhappy and he didn't understand why.

  
"Sorry what's going -" Aaron's voice was small, wondering and filled with such nervousness.

  
The woman huffed out a sigh and came closer, "It appears as though there has been a mix up." Her voice was laced with bitterness.

  
Aaron frowned hard, not quite understanding, "I don't understand what, what do you mean a mix up."

  
The woman bit down on her lip, "We have been told to let you go." She let the words out dryly and Aaron was already trying to catch his breath.

  
"Let me go?" Aaron said shakily, free, to be free.

  
"Yes, dropping all charges including the whole breaking and entering one. We don't have any evidence to say you did it. So, you can go."

  
Aaron couldn't believe what he was hearings they were letting him go, he was going to finally rid of this torment.

  
"What about...the press...will they finally leave this, I can't have people still wondering if I'm guilty" Aaron was panicking, he couldn't help but think about people thinking it was all wrong for him to be just let go like that.

  
The woman's face softened slightly as she saw Aaron's worried expression, "Don't worry about that, it will all be sorted before you leave here."

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, relaxing his shoulders slightly at the news, "When, when do you think I'll be -"

  
"We've been told, by the end of the day." Again she sounded annoyed by what she was saying.

  
Aaron's eyes widened in shock, "I can't believe it." He let out finally a small smile spreading across his face for the first time in weeks.

  
"Neither can I." The woman couldn't help herself as she muttered the words out.

  
Aaron waited for a second and watched as she softened again.

  
"I'll be back in an hour or so..." The woman sighed again, "Sit tight till then Livesy." She added as Aaron watched her leave the cramped space.

 

* * *

 

Aaron was sitting there, in that cell, shaking and trembling and feeling sick with happiness but then nervousness. He hadn't been a free man since he left emmerdale village all those years ago, he didn't understand how he would feel when he was finally able to walk down the street with his head held high instead of firmly pressed against the ground. The thought scared him, made him feel dizzy with worry still but then he thought about seeing his mum, seeing her smile and holding onto her and just being able to love her again without being scared about leaving her once more. It was overwhelming, completely but Aaron wasn't complaining, not one bit. Feeling happy like this was a foreign feeling to Aaron Dingle, he was anxious about it all but he had to try and get used to it, he deserved to be happy, he just had to convince _himself_ that.

An hour or so past, a tingling sensation rising in Aaron's stomach as he heard the door opening again. Aaron instinctively rose to his feet as he saw another two officers approach him, one of them was the smiley woman. This time Aaron was able to smile back, truly smile and her eyes brightened a little as if she was fully aware that this time Aaron was able to smile back with honesty.

Aaron was handed a small bag that he instantly remembered, it contained his clothes, the ones he had been taken in. Aaron bent down a little and smelt them, they reminded him of the flat, of Robert and somehow he didn't know how to feel about it. Officers circled him as Aaron approached the desk, papers were pushed in his direction as he was told to sign release papers and state his name. Aaron could see the suspicion from most officers around him, he himself couldn't quite grasp the reason to him being suddenly released but then again Robert did say he had a plan. The thought of whatever that plan was actually working made his heart skip a beat, he had Robert to thank for his freedom. The doors were pushed open and Aaron was walked out by a guard instantly the sun hit his eyes and he breathed in the fresh air, looking around Aaron noticed the distinct lack of people.

  
Aaron was told to wait for a second and then another officer was approaching him, a tall man with a beard that had been watching from a distance.

  
"Livesy." The man cleared his throat harshly causing Aaron to raise an eyebrow, he was already squinting because of the sunlight and its rays, "I'm sure you are aware of the massive media coverage of your involvement in the high profiled case -"

  
Aaron scoffed, "Yeah, all too well."

  
The man sighed softly before looking at Aaron again, "Well because of that we do advice you to...lay low for a bit, the papers of course will say what they want to say about your innocence but I do think that you shouldn't entertain them in any way. Do you think you could do that?" His voice was gentle, yet laced with seriousness that told Aaron what he was saying was important.

  
Aaron thought about it for a second, laying low. It had been his life for the past three years. He was good at that, he had a lot of practise.

  
"What lay low? Yeah I'd say I'm pretty much an expert in that field."

  
The man smiled gently as he looked ahead and watched a car pull up outside the station. Aaron frowned as he looked at it and saw it was a taxi, the police didn't send out taxi's, no matter if your were innocent or guilty as sin.

  
"Is that for -"

  
The man waved a hand up, "It appears as though you haven't been treated, _fairly_ by the police throughout all of this. It will take a lot of time to make sure people understand that you as well as that poor lad are innocent, the least we could do was make sure you don't run into anyway nasty on the roads."

  
Aaron made a little sound, one that should have summed up his emotions slightly. The feeling he had was unsettling him as he replayed the words in his head, it was true what he said about people still having their opinions, still believing what he was capable of was in fact murder and it would take a lot to change that. It wouldn't be complete freedom, maybe it wouldn't ever feel like that.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly and was able to let out a small thank you before walking to the taxi and sliding in. Aaron sat for a second, trying to gather his thoughts as best he could and then decided there was only one place he needed to be, _home_.

 

* * *

 

Robert was beyond nervous, hours had gone by and there still wasn't any news about Aaron. The channels had no coverage about his release and slowly Robert was loosing hope all over again, Aaron being safe was too good to be true he thought.

Then it dawned on him, a horrible thought that maybe Aaron had already been released and simply decided to slip away without a trace. A sinking feeling overwhelmed Robert entirely because he could just imagine Aaron doing such a thing, thinking it was somehow for the best and that he would be helping matters by just disappearing and forgetting all about what had happened. Robert felt like crying as he sat on the sofa and held onto the cushion tightly, it reminded him of Aaron just like everything else seemed to do now.

That dream was still there when he closed his eyes, but then Robert ripped them open again because that's exactly what it was - a dream, and Aaron was gone and Aaron would never be his, not really.

There was a knock on the door, gentle and slow and Robert lifted his head up from his hands so that he could look over to it. Robert hesitated at first, wondering if it was a nosy neighbour or worse Loui coming round to talk about Jensen, he couldn't have that thought in his head, not when he wanted Aaron by his side this badly. Robert breathed in slowly before turning the handle and then he was catching his breath all at once, shaking all over and then the tears came pouring and he was allowed to smile.

  
"I've got a chatty taxi driver down there asking for twenty quid, if you wouldn't mind..." Robert chuckled, causing his tears to fall messily and then all at once he was holding on, smelling him and touching him and gripping him so hard it ached.

 

_Aaron, Aaron, Aaron._

 

_Home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REUNITED AND IT FEELS SOOO GOOD! I have to confess...I did think about leaving it here and just leaving a lot laid bare for people to think about but lol thank god I didn't. 
> 
> It's not over yet. About 2/3 chapters left! 
> 
> I've been subtle about how Aaron is feeling about most things and his own anxiety as well as the reaction from the public will play a part in a massive decision he makes. Also Robert he a little problem called Jensen still to face who may or may not be getting in the way of his happiness.


	33. Good to you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert stroked at Aaron's face again, pulling himself even closer to Aaron who was covered by the sheets of the bed. Aaron could feel Robert moving closer to him and couldn't help but flutter his eyes open, he was met with Robert's eyes and gently moved his head up and down feeling Robert's hands again and moving to kiss it softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update! so this is fluffy fluffy fluff but of course there is a build up of angst to come that will lead to something! ah just enjoy this though ;))))

Time seemed to be a myth as they sat there, thighs pressed together and hands around each other dancing in circles as they rested against the soft fabric of the sofa. Robert's chest carrying the weight of Aaron's body as they breathed almost in sync with each other. Aaron couldn't describe the feeling inside, he was sure it resembled something like happiness but he wasn't too sure. He was definitely at peace with himself, completely he thought because he found himself in Robert's arms again and it felt so normal. It was as if it was almost natural for Aaron to find himself there, slotted right by _his_ Robert.

  
Robert stroked Aaron's hair softly before smiling, no hair gel, pure fluffy curls that Robert adored, he still couldn't believe he had him back.

  
"I can't believe you're here." Robert whispered the words out not daring to draw too much attention to them and break the welcomed silence.

  
Aaron hesitated for a second before looking up at Robert and seeing the absolute relief still painted on his face.

  
Robert leaned in closer and gently pressed their foreheads together, "Thank you for coming back..."

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders and suddenly he was smiling, "Where else would I be?" He mumbled before hovering over Robert's lips and watching as Robert began to move closer to him. Aaron hitched his breath, they had been sat together for hours but hadn't kissed each other yet, not properly. They had mastered the innocent kisses, the ones were there lips barely met and they could feel each other breathing softly, but a long embrace, passionate and intense, that hadn't happened yet. Both too scared to push each other.

  
Robert saw the look on Aaron's face and could feel the hesitation, "Aaron -"

  
Aaron was still hovering over Robert's lips and almost instantly he was brushing a finger up towards Robert's and stopping him from speaking, "Shh." He whispered before moving closer to Robert and letting out, "I don't want, want to rush things, but..."

  
Robert bit down on his lip and sighed as he pushed his lips towards Aaron and moaned as they embraced properly this time, mouths colliding and hearts racing as they deepened their kiss and allowed themselves to completely _fall_ into each other.

 

Two hours went by and Robert found himself draped next to Aaron in their bed, only wearing a smile as he tried to get his head around the fact that Aaron had allowed him to be with him again, touch him all over and lavish him with all the affection in the world. Robert watched Aaron sleep next to him, his face so innocent and pure and it was enough to make Robert catch his breath, then again Aaron always had that effect on him.

Robert moved a hand up to Aaron's face, gently stroking at his cheek and making his own heart flutter, after their passionate sex Aaron had falling asleep almost straight away and although Robert couldn't stop whispering 'I've missed you more than you'll ever know' he was fully aware it was falling on deaf ears.

Robert stroked at Aaron's face again, pulling himself even closer to Aaron who was covered by the sheets of the bed. Aaron could feel Robert moving closer to him and couldn't help but flutter his eyes open, he was met with Robert's eyes and gently moved his head up and down feeling Robert's hands again and moving to kiss it softly.

  
"What are ya staring at?" Aaron mumbled out, he pressed further towards Robert and titled his head down shyly.

  
Robert instantly smiled, "You." He mumbled back before gently kissing Aaron's forehead and watching as Aaron pulled away slightly.

  
He couldn't put his finger on it, the way Aaron seemed to be...distant somehow. Aaron was there, in his bed, with a small smile on his face and his eyes bright in the moonlight but he was holding back. It reminded Robert of the way he was when Aaron used to kiss him and he would always shrug him off and tell him not to complicate things, as if he had one foot out of the door. Robert looked at the way Aaron's eyes fluttered again as he played with the sheet, just before they had kissed, Aaron had told him he didn't want to move too fast and Robert had understood but then the next minute he knew Aaron was pulling at his clothes and pushing towards the bedroom.

They were perfect, the sex was just like before, nothing had changed and they were able to find each other and know exactly what they wanted and amongst the intensity Robert didn't question the way Aaron had his eyes firmly shut the whole time and didn't kiss Robert until he asked him to.

He was holding back, keeping his cards firmly close towards his chest and it hurt Robert, after everything they had been through he wanted Aaron, _all_ of Aaron.

  
Robert gently lifted Aaron's chin up to see his face, they were glassy, filled with tears and Robert felt his heart sink at the sight.

  
"Aaron, Aaron what's wrong _please_..." Robert held up his hands and pulled them towards Aaron's cheeks, allowing him to hold Aaron's face in his hands completely.

  
Aaron tried to pull himself away from Robert but found he couldn't, "I'm sorry." He whispered softly before darting his eyes away from Robert's.

  
Robert frowned harshly, he didn't understand but he wanted to and he couldn't bare the way Aaron was ignoring his gaze, "Aaron," he breathed out a little sigh as Aaron let another tear roll down his cheek, still not daring to look at Robert " _Look_ at me." He pleaded.

  
Aaron sighed hard, his head towards the sheets, "I can't." He sounded so tried, so defeated and it _killed_ Robert.

  
Robert instantly panicked, practically pulling Aaron up so that he was forced to look him in the eye, "Why, why not, look you are now so...why not?" He was begging Aaron to make sense, begging him to just kiss him and make out as if he still loved him at least, just pretend.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I'm ashamed, I'm so ashamed Rob, I'm sorry." He was a mess, tears spilling over his cheeks as he tried to steady his breathing.

  
Robert instinctively grabbed Aaron's shoulders and pulled him towards his chest, he hated seeing Aaron cry, it was the worst thing to see in the world so he would have to hear it instead. That somehow _ached_ a little less.

  
"What? What have you got to be ashamed of?" Robert was shaking as he felt the weight of Aaron on him, trembling.

  
Aaron pulled himself off Robert, wiping at his face and then looking towards the sheets on the bed once again, "Everyday, everyday in there...that place." He almost couldn't bring to say the word prison, "I thought of you." He whispered suddenly looking at Robert and placing a hand on his Robert's chest to just feel him, "And all I could think of was the things I said to ya, the _lies_ , before they came and took me...and I just felt sick and - and I hated myself for letting you think that I didn't care about ya." He let it all out, the tears falling messily once more as he tried to control himself.

  
Robert hesitated to reach out for Aaron, a hand moving towards him and then Aaron was gripping hold of it. He hadn't forget what Aaron had said to him, the way he had tried to hurt him and make him believe that what they had meant nothing, he probably wouldn't ever forget the way his heart *broke as Aaron began to tear him down over and over again.

  
"Robert, I can't...I can't look at ya because I'm so guilty, I hurt ya and I just took all my anger and fear out on the _one_ person who _loved_ me." Aaron whispered as he looked towards the ceiling and then back down to the bed, " _Please_ forgive me..." He begged as his eyes met Robert's.

  
Robert breathed in quickly, his eyes widened in shock because despite the fact that he wanted to hear Aaron apologise for some of the things he had said, he didn't expect to hear one. Suddenly he realised how tortured Aaron was about it all, his eyes suddenly looked heavier, more tired, his expression so troubled and Robert wondered how he hadn't realised before.

  
Robert moved closer towards Aaron and gently placed his lips on Aaron's, soft and gentle and slow as he pushed towards the younger man and then pulled away again. Aaron still appeared worried and Robert realised he would have to do more than just kiss him to ease his worry all together, "Of course I forgive ya, Aaron I understand why you wanted to push me away, I get it."

  
Aaron shook his head, "I'm sick of doing that, I'm sorry." He said softly.

  
"Stop saying you're sorry, don't apologise anymore, you don't have to do that." Robert pulled Aaron towards him and felt his shoulders relax as Aaron fell into his arms once more.

  
"I could feel ya being distant, but you said you didn't want to talk about it." Robert whispered, hesitating to approach the subject of the case and all the mess that came with it. He had tried to say something about it for hours, but he didn't want to upset Aaron too much. When Aaron had arrived there was hardly anything to say that wouldn't make Aaron want to hide away or Robert want to apologise again for everything that had happened. He had tried to mumble out an apology as he held Aaron in his arms but he was silenced by a small ' _don't_ ' that escaped Aaron's lips all at once. He _clearly_ wanted to leave it in the past.

  
Aaron tensed slightly, "I don't, I just want to forget it all." He said quickly before nuzzling further into Robert, "I just want to be normal, do normal things like go for a run or...pop out to the shops to get ya your favourite chocolate bar, or even go on a date without -"

  
Aaron felt Robert smile, it was hard to explain but he knew he was and so he looked up at him.

  
Robert had only heard the word 'date' and it was enough to make his heart flutter, "Date?" He mumbled out with another smile.

  
Aaron couldn't help but blush and grow flustered, "Yeah, a date Rob, with you." He whispered softly, a hint of flirtation in his voice.

  
Robert gulped hard, "Is this the way ya ask people out on a date hoods?" He was completely overwhelmed with love for Aaron and was sure that it was spilling out.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe." He teased before falling back down on the bed and watching as Robert fell back to join him, his smile brightening the room as he circled Aaron's chest with his fingers, "Hm, well I'll think about it..." Robert whispered back before crashing his lips towards Aaron's again and pulling back so he could see his face.

  
Robert hovered over Aaron and felt his heart beating steadily, at peace, "You know I never stopped -"

  
Aaron pulled Robert towards him and gently whispered, "Neither did I," before pushing himself even closer to Robert and hearing the way Robert seemed to be trying to hold back his tears, Aaron's agreement about never stopping loving each other had obviously effected him and it made Aaron feel warm and good inside as his eyes fluttered shut again, this time safe in the knowledge that despite all not being forgotten, all was indeed forgiven.

 

* * *

 

Robert woke with a start the next morning, his head snapping towards Aaron and feeling his insides burst. For a minute he thought he had been dreaming all of last night, but then he found Aaron beside him, an arm wrapped round his waist and his mouth slightly open like always. Robert smiled down at him and then looked towards the table beside his bed, his phone was resting there almost willing him to pick it up and charge it. Yet he knew Loui would have been ringing him with news he didn't want to hear, news about Jensen and the brothers, possibly bad news.

Robert walked towards the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes and picking up two mugs from the cupboard, smiling because despite Aaron's absence he had always got the two mugs out and then stood there feeling like an idiot and missing him even more.

  
"Thought you'd done a runner..." Aaron mumbled as he approached Robert and looked towards the floor.

  
Robert huffed out a little sigh and smiled, clearly trying to play down the way he knew he would have to reassure Aaron almost always that he wasn't going anywhere.

  
"Hm well I thought I'd make ya a decent brew instead eh." Robert said before adding a tea bag to the mug, "Bet you missed the way I make 'em." He added turning towards Aaron and then instantly regretting his words as he saw him tense and try to plaster a smile on his face. Robert couldn't help but feel like an idiot, after last night and the way Aaron seems to want to forget about everything, the last thing he needed was being reminded about the things he missed.

  
Aaron stood still for a second, it hurt him to think a small part of him wanted to shout back something hurtful but he still had that part hidden away he thought, that anger about the entire situation hadn't left him but Robert's soft expression was able to settle him again.

  
"Shit Aaron I'm -"

  
"You're right, tea's _rank_ in there." Aaron smiled, this time an honest one that soothed Robert's worry.

  
Robert fiddled with his hands as Aaron came closer to him and pulled Robert by his waist, _tight_ against his own, "It's not the only thing I missed about ya." He mumbled as he watched Robert raise an eyebrow.

  
"Really? What else could you have possibly missed?" Robert teased as he pulled Aaron closer to him and relaxed into a long kiss both craved.

  
Aaron pulled away first, raising his hand and pulling it through Robert's hair, "I missed...the way you made me feel around ya." He whispered making Robert smile softly and close his eyes for a second, almost savouring the thought. Aaron wasn't big on talk, talk about feelings and how Robert made him feel and Robert couldn't help help but feel special as he almost knew Aaron was blushing.

  
"We're, we're gonna be okay Aaron." Robert said firmly, a hand finding Aaron's and squeezing it tight.

  
Aaron smiled and blinked quickly as he thought about it, "Where did that come from?" He asked as he saw the way Robert was looking at him.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders, "I'm gonna keep making you feel, whatever it is I make ya feel." He  chuckled out as Aaron smiled at him _loved, appreciated, needed, adored_ all sprang to mind, "And it's gonna be _fine._ " He added because despite Aaron's harsh and moody appearance half the time, he constantly needed to know he was safe, wanted, loved and knowing that they would be okay would settle him.

  
Aaron instantly grabbed Robert's shoulders and pulled him towards his chest before mumbling out, "You don't know how much that means to me," and feeling overwhelmed with _safety_.

"Shouldn't -" Aaron stopped himself and bit down on his lip as Robert frowned at him.

They had just finished breakfast and Aaron couldn't stop thinking about Robert going to work, he didn't want to even ask about Jensen but then again he had that niggling question at the back of his mind still there. How he was able to just be let off completely? If Robert's plan did work then what exactly did it involve? Did Jensen know about it?

  
"What were you gonna say?" Robert asked as he looked across at Aaron.

  
Aaron shrugged, "I know I said I didn't want to know, but shouldn't...I mean have you...oh God did this plan involve ya getting the sack?" He couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

  
Robert held out a hand almost straight away and tried to calm Aaron's thoughts but shaking his head. To be fair he didn't really know what he was doing when it came to work, he didn't want to go back there but he couldn't just leave. He was too important to slip away without any fuss especially when he was so far up in power compared to the others.

  
"I...I haven't been sacked babe, don't worry about that." Robert let out with a wink before frowning as he saw Aaron's face, blushing like mad. "What?" He asked quickly.

  
Aaron looked up through his eyelashes, "Okay _babe._ " He teased back, hearing Robert say the word so effortlessly was enough to make Aaron's stomach _flip_.

  
Robert felt his cheeks redden and suddenly he was launching towards Aaron and attacking him with tickles to stop him from dwelling on the endearment.

  
Aaron rolled his head back and let out a laugh, he hadn't _laughed_ in ages. He hadn't had a _reason_ to laugh and now Robert was making him cackle as he shakily kept saying " _Babe, babe, babe_..." to tease Robert even more.

  
Robert pushed away a few minutes later, out of breath from the fun and happy that he had made Aaron laugh like he did. Aaron smiled up at him and instinctively grabbed hold of his shirt pulling him down and kissing him _hard_ on the lips.

  
"I think we should...maybe go out today.." Robert asked slowly as he pulled away from Aaron and gently stroked his arm.

  
Aaron tensed suddenly, the thought of going out and facing people made him feel sick but the thought of hiding was even worse.

  
Robert noticed the way Aaron was staring at him and pulled away from him, he didn't want to pressure him, "I just thought it might be a good idea -"

  
Aaron moved towards Robert and turned him round so that they were facing each other, "No, no it's a great idea." He let out quickly before sighing "But, they did tell us to ya know stay low for a bit."

  
Robert gulped and nodded his head, "I know, I know but we can drive out somewhere, have a nice meal and ya know just focus on us..." He whispered softly, "Just us." He added as he pushed his forehead onto Aaron's.

  
The thought settled Aaron all at once and he smiled into a kiss, a sign of agreement Robert thought.

  
"Now I'm gonna get a shower, and then...we can... _focus_ on us a little bit more." Robert said cheekily slapping at Aaron's arse and making him laugh again.

Aaron settled on the sofa, hugging at a cushion because although the thought of being able to go out with Robert made him feel happy and ridiculously excited, he _still_ couldn't ignore that niggling nervousness that wouldn't go away. He couldn't help but feel unsure about things and dread the thought of the littlest thing going wrong, because surely all this happiness would run out soon enough.

Aaron sighed as he found the remote and pushed down a button revealing a bright light and then a programme, the news. Aaron hadn't exactly been following recent events in the world and pushed another button down to turn up the volume.

Suddenly though Aaron was dropping the remote towards the ground and shaking all over as he saw _them_. Faces scrunched up and body's weak as they tried to tackle the officers who were pulling them towards the car. They hadn't changed, not one bit. Aaron was instantly back to that night, hearing them shout at him and feeling sick with guilt. Their eyes, so hard and cold and burning into Aaron's memory, suddenly he couldn't escape it all over again.

 

_"Now are headline news, Harry and Harley Jones are set to be charged with the murder of William Tenner after new evidence was bought to light putting the brothers directly in the frame for the brutal murder. For the past few months officers have been working to try and find the culprits and today they were seen to be taken from their German residence in Berlin, where they have been hiding."_

 

Aaron was shaking all over, what new evidence? Just seeing their faces was enough to unsettle him all over again.

Robert turned off the shower and pressed back against the wall for a minute as he dried himself off. The sound of the television traveled and soon his heart was beating faster as heard, knowing Aaron was listening. Robert quickly wrapped the towel round his waist and walked towards the living room, a hand falling on Aaron's shaking shoulder.

  
"God Robert's, it's them." Aaron said quickly before looking over his shoulder and staring up at Robert, "They've...they've got them."

  
Robert squeezed Aaron's shoulder tighter, not knowing what exactly to say. He couldn't believe they were actually caught so quick and somehow he thought about Grace and Aiden being the ones who were able to push things along.

  
"It's gonna be okay." It was all Robert could really say as Aaron sat there with tears in his eyes obviously overwhelmed.

 

_"A spokesman from Scotland Yard informed us that known suspect Aaron Livesy has been released without any charge and asks the public to be aware of the twenty four year old's innocence. Former partner Ed Roberts has told us about how "delighted and relieved" he is about the news as well as William's mother and father who spoke about the "ordeal finally being over" as they are now able to have their beloved son "rest in peace". More to come shortly."_

 

Relief was able to wash over Aaron as he heard that people were aware of his innocence, it would help maybe now that the real killers were being charged. But then again maybe it wouldn't. There again, that niggling worry just wouldn't disappear. All Aaron could see was Harry and Harley, teasing him and mocking him and making him feel nothing but guilty for what _they_ had done. It wouldn't go away, it just wouldn't.

The drive out that night was exactly what Aaron needed he thought, head against the seat, hand gripping Robert's and feeling the cool breeze hit him time and time again without fail. When they arrived at the restaurant Aaron instantly felt self conscious about it all, his eyes darted around the street as the engine was cut off.

  
"Far out enough for ya?" Robert sighed as he looked around and then smiled at Aaron, they had been driving for about an hour and ended up on some high street lined with restaurants.

  
Aaron looked across at Robert and nodded his head, he couldn't explain to him that he was nervous about nothing at all, it was odd but he was just nervous about _something_ happening, something that he didn't understand.

  
"Yeah I think so..." Aaron mumbled, his eyes still wondering "Robert if -"

  
Robert nodded his head quickly, "We will come straight back." He said knowing that Aaron was asking about leaving if anything went wrong.

  
"Thank you" Aaron whispered, squeezing Robert's hand tighter as he felt his heart rate return back to normal.

 

* * *

 

"How do you like red wine?" Aaron pulled a face as he watched Robert pour more of the bottle into his empty glass.

  
The evening so far had been enjoyable, the lighting in the small building had been thankfully dim so it had made Aaron relax that little bit more. It felt good to just sit and talk, without the confides of the flat making them both feel trapped somewhat.

  
Robert rolled his eyes at Aaron, he was loving the ease at which they both found themselves in and despite the fact that he knew seeing Harry and Harley had effected Aaron greatly, he could tell he was trying and he couldn't help but feel grateful.

  
"It's disgusting." Aaron laughed as he watched Robert tilt the bottle towards him, offering, "I'd rather stick to my beer ta." He added pointing towards his drink.

  
"It's called having a _sophisticated_ taste." Robert teased before sipping at the wine and then frowning "Some people just don't have it." He added as he watched Aaron glug back his own beer.

  
Aaron shook his head and laughed, "Ha ha ha, my boyfriend's a comedian." He rolled his eyes before suddenly staring wide eyed at Robert.

  
Robert nearly chocked, somehow stunned by the words because... _boyfriend_?

  
Of course he was, of course Aaron was his boyfriend, they just hadn't ever said it before, they had always been busy thinking of other things and too scared to label what they had. They didn't need to do that now.

  
"Sorry I -" Aaron knew he had turned bright red and flustered by it all.

  
Robert's heart practically burst as he heard the word and then the way Aaron had said it all so effortlessly, it was all he wanted to hear. He had been so nervous that they wouldn't be able to fall back together but they had so far and he didn't want to ruin anything by saying something like the word boyfriend and scare Aaron off completely. He thought he'd have to wait a while for Aaron to use the term to describe Robert but now he was just saying it and it felt _good_.

Robert Sugden was someone's _boyfriend_. Not just anyone, Aaron Livesy, a boy with a heart too large for his body who had quite literally fell at his feet one night.

  
"Don't be sorry." Robert blurted out as Aaron met his eyes, "Aaron Livesy, my _boyfriend_..." He said smiling as he tried it out for the first time, it felt amazing, "Yeah it sounds _perfect._ " He added, a soft, beautiful tone that melted Aaron all at once.

  
It had been a while since he had a boyfriend, he wasn't good at being one but Robert had said the word perfect and it had taken him by such surprise he almost forget, " _Really_?" He spoke gently, not wanting to ruin the moment with a raised voice.

  
Robert slid his arm across the table and stroked Aaron's hands lovingly, "Really." He whispered back with a smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have about two or three chapters to go!! the next chapter will follow straight from this one and the angst will be...not really the boy's fault but basically i have the ending in my head and the drama is needed so just go with it! oh and thank you for all the comments on that reunion lol it means a lot to me, hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	34. The inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert shook his head, "What did I say about ya being sorry?" He said quickly as he watched Aaron tilt his head away shyly, "You don't have to apologise for those twats" he added making Aaron look at him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Direct continuation ;)

They were having their mains, laughing about the fact that Aaron had just described his sea bass as "fishy" and nothing else when Robert felt a vibration in his pocket. He had charged his phone before he left, only to please Aaron who raised a fair point about neither of them having the means to call anyone in case of an emergency. Robert hadn't allowed himself to see if he had any calls or messages, he wanted to focus on Aaron like he had said but then he could see Aaron frown at him as if to say ' _you gonna answer that?_ '

  
Robert sighed as he fished into his pocket and saw a name flash up on his screen four times, four messages from Loui he had missed.

 

\- **Loui** : _Did Aaron come back to yours, he's been let go._ (08:22) 

  
\- **Loui** : _Watching the news? Result!_ (10:33)

  
\- **Loui** : _There's news about Jensen, ring me._ (15:56) 

  
\- **Loui** : _Jensen's taking a turn for the worst._ (20:08)

 

Robert was taken aback by the messages, especially the last one that had only be sent a matter of minutes ago, he couldn't help but stare at it and wonder what Loui meant about Jensen 'taking a turn for the worse.' He wasn't aware of his condition, he didn't care really but he had a heart and he didn't want him to fucking _die_.

  
"Everything...okay?" Aaron hesitated, he wasn't sure if he really wanted his question to be answered.

  
Robert pulled his eyes away from the screen and looked at Aaron sitting across from him, he looked concerned. _Fuck_. Robert didn't want to ruin anything, he didn't want worry Aaron or have to lie to him but then he was nodding his head and faking a smile and watching as Aaron relaxed again.

  
Robert hated how Jensen was there still, he wasn't enjoying himself anymore because he could just imagine Jensen laying flat against a slab _dead_.

  
"Robert are you even listening to me?" Aaron asked, his voice was high and not judgmental but slightly annoyed because for the past few minutes he had watched Robert stare down at his place and say nothing as he banged on about the waiter checking him out.

  
Robert ripped his eyes away from the plate and looked up at Aaron, "Sorry, I.." He mumbled before looking down at his phone and sighing "Just going to the gents." He let out quickly as he lifted himself up and walked towards the bathroom.

 

Aaron sighed softly as he watched him leave, he _knew_ something was wrong. It had been ever since Robert had looked down at his phone, Aaron huffed out a little sigh daring to look across the table and seeing Robert's phone. He couldn't see much but then there was name, in amongst other words: _Jensen_.

 

Robert hated him even more now, he was pushing him away from Aaron _still_ even though he was nothing but a weak old man laying in a hospital bed. At first he felt guilty, he couldn't help himself but now all he felt was anger. Robert turned one of the taps and splashed cold water onto his face, shaking his head after and staring into the mirror wondering what the hell he was doing. He didn't understand why he was in the bathrooms hiding away when he had the most gorgeous, loving man waiting for him to return. He was lucky, _really_ lucky and Jensen wasn't his problem.

 

Robert walked back towards the table and instantly knew something was wrong. Aaron was tapping a finger on the table and shaking his head as he watched Robert sit opposite him again.

  
"Have I missed something?" Robert let out shakily, trying his hardest to combat his worry with a fake smile.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "Shouldn't I be saying that?" He said quickly, he was angry and Robert hated how obvious it was.

  
"Aaron -" Robert let the name out gently as he moved closer towards Aaron and attempted to understand better.

  
Aaron shook his head again and pointed to Robert's phone, "Jensen eh, _Jensen._ " He sneered the words out feeling sick because he knew he was the reason for all his time in prison.

  
Robert gulped hard, "Someone's been snooping then." He said cuttingly.

  
Aaron scoffed before rolling his eyes, "Are ya gonna tell me what's wrong or -"

  
Robert raised a hand up and sighed "Jensen, he tried to top himself...he's the reason why the brothers got found, he left behind where they were staying and confessed to all his dodgy dealings" he let out slowly watching as Aaron tried to take it all in.

  
"He's taking a turn for the worst..." Robert added quickly before sipping his wine and not stopping for breath.

  
Aaron frowned harshly, the topic of suicide wasn't one he liked to dwell on.

  
"I didn't want to upset ya." Robert said slowly as he watched Aaron's face grow sadder.

  
Aaron snapped his head up and stared at Robert, "Upset?" He said cuttingly, "Why would...would I be upset, after everything he put me through?" He added snapping at Robert for even suggesting the idea.

  
Robert bowed his head a little, "I'm sorry, look lets just forget about it okay." He said quietly as he watched Aaron still frowning me - still mulling it over.

  
"Why would he even do that? Kill himself. Was this all part of your plan?" Aaron's questions were ringing loudly in Robert's ear as he tried to think about them.

  
"No Aaron." He said sternly realising that Aaron may be implying that he had planned for Jensen to commit suicide, "Do you _really_ think I wanted any of this?" He said, defeated slightly.

  
Aaron saw how troubled Robert looked and felt awful almost instantly, "I'm sorry Rob I just -"

  
"I went round his house, found a phone with all the damning shit possible and...and I blackmailed him..." Robert said staring up at Aaron and sighing, "That was my plan, for him to let you go or...or I'd let everyone know about who he really is." Robert ruffled his hair silently and looked over at Aaron again wondering what he would say.

  
Thankfully Aaron let out a small smile, "Taste of his own medicine." He said making Robert relax slightly.

  
Robert sipped at his wine and then titled his head slightly, "Didn't expect him to try and kill himself over it though, I know I backed him into a corner but -"

  
Aaron's hand found Robert's and squeezed it tightly, "It's not your fault babe." He whispered the last word and made Robert instantly smile.

 

* * *

 

As the evening continued the restaurant grew busier and Robert could feel Aaron almost recoil and bury his head in the sand. Robert moved a hand up to Aaron's and circled around Aaron's palm as he tried to soothe him slightly. They were onto deserts now, Aaron ordering a sticky toffee pudding that he said was favourite, Robert took a mental note.

It was weird to think he didn't know more things about Aaron like that, normal things. He couldn't wait to find out more he thought as he looked down at the cheesecake he had received served with lashings over chocolate sauce that made him smile. Robert had to bite back the thought of saying something like he had done that morning about Aaron missing hearty food, Aaron almost read his mind though and soon said: "Beats prison food, but then again that ain't saying much".

  
Robert smiled back at him before letting out a laugh, it was strange to believe how fast things had gone since yesterday, all that worry about Aaron not wanting him had disappeared because Aaron had not only chose to come back to him, he had chose to _stay_.

The night ended swiftly after the deserts, Aaron sporting a grin as Robert walked out of the restaurant with him and began to follow him down the road to the car. Robert smiled as he watched Aaron walk in front of him, he could just tell how much looser Aaron appeared and he had obviously enjoyed himself. Robert looked down at his phone before signalling for Aaron to go to the car as he chucked him his keys. Robert gulped hard suddenly as he looked further ahead and watched a group of men stare at Aaron, intensely, as if they were trying to work out who he was. Robert quickened his pace and walked towards the scene, he could see Aaron trying to avoid them but it was pointless, they obviously _knew_ who he was.

 

"You that one who killed that boy?" A boy shouted out instantly making Aaron shake, he couldn't escape it.

  
Another one yelled out to Aaron, "LIVESY!" he spat and Aaron's legs turned to jelly as he looked round and dared to confront them.

  
"Leave me alone" Aaron mumbled, the keys shaking in his hand as he stood next to the car.

  
A boy began to walk towards him, "Don't think so mate, _murderer_ " it was enough to send shivers down Aaron's spine as he shut his eyes and he braced himself for a punch, a kick, anything really but then he heard the boy being _shoved_ to the ground and then "DO ONE OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE!"

  
_Robert_.

  
Aaron opened his eyes and watched in horror as another boy suddenly walked towards Robert and punched him hard in the gut, then his face, before pulling his friend away and running down the road. Aaron was shaking all over as he walked towards Robert and saw the blood dripping from his face, it was all his fault.

  
"Robert I'm so sorry -" Aaron let out as he held onto Robert and heard how shallow his breathing had become.

  
Robert heard the guilt in Aaron's voice and shook his head silently, "M'fine hoods." He said trying to humour Aaron with the nickname. Aaron began to cry, it hadn't worked then.

  
"I'm serious Aaron, I'm okay, just..." Robert breathed in heavily "Start the car for me yeah, let me catch m'breath." He let out shakily. The punch to the face wasn't that bad despite the blood but the one to the gut had _hurt_ and he was in a bit of pain, Aaron didn't need to know that though.

  
Aaron couldn't stop the tears falling as he sat in the car and blamed himself for it all, they had had an enjoyable night, and then bang Aaron and his past had ruined it all. Earning Robert a punch to the face and the gut as well as bleeding. Aaron watched Robert from the window, noticing the way his back was turned away from the car, Aaron shook his head because he knew he would have done it on purpose, not wanting Aaron to see him in pain at all.

  
Robert approached the car a few minutes later, blood on his pale blue shirt from wiping at the cut in his face. Aaron stared out the window, not daring to look at Robert and feeling overwhelmed with nothing but guilt. Robert sighed a little, hesitating to speak and then deciding against the idea because he knew why Aaron wasn't looking his way - it had happened the night before, Aaron was ashamed again and it _killed_ him.

  
Robert started the engine and sighed, looking over at Aaron again he could see a tear rolling down his cheek as he still had his head resting on the window - completely _broken_.

  
Robert moved his hand over to Aaron's and gently squeezed it before moving closer and kissing him gently on the cheek, Aaron looked down towards the floor and then back towards the window.

  
Robert bit down on his lip, giving in as he moved his hands on the wheel and began driving home.

 

* * *

 

Aaron shuffled into the flat behind Robert, carefully watching as Robert walked towards the sofa and slouched back down slowly, it was obvious he was in pain and that hurt Aaron even more. Robert looked towards Aaron who was still by the door, the journey home had been a silent one filled with nothing but the sound of the engine to fill the car with the sound of a low hum. Robert hated how the night had been ruined, considering how well it was going.

  
Robert sighed a little before looking down at the carpet and then back at Aaron, still frozen by the door, "What ya doing standing there for eh?" He whispered out desperate to soothe Aaron's worry with a hint of humour in his voice.

  
Aaron met Robert's eyes, the cut below his eye was large enough for Aaron to see, to notice, the blood was drying and making Aaron feeling sick. Instinctively Aaron walked towards the kitchen and wet a towel before running to Robert and sensitively placing it on Robert's face.

  
Robert couldn't help but see the worry on Aaron's face, sheer panic as he dabbed at Robert's face and tried to control all his emotions. Robert placed a hand on Aaron's thigh trying his best to once again settle Aaron's nerves.

  
"Aaron, m'kay." Robert whispered softly causing Aaron to shake his head and sigh.

  
"Maybe you are now but...but ya weren't then." Aaron said quickly, he was almost on the verge of tears as he thought about Robert having to catch his breath after they attacked him.

  
Robert stayed silent, hoping Aaron was done but knowing he probably wasn't.

  
Aaron put the towel down and gently moved even closer to Robert so that their foreheads were touching, "I can't promise ya that -"

  
Robert knew what he was trying to say and kissed him hard on the lips to silence him, "You Aaron Livesy..." He whispered as he pulled away and placed a hand in Aaron's "Are worth _every_ punch." He mumbled out before smiling as he saw Aaron's face break into a frown before he said: "Well that's the _least_ romantic thing I've ever heard." and made Robert giggle.

  
Aaron pulled a hand through Robert's hair, draping over him, "I'm sorry, you know that I'm sorry right?" Robert hated the desperation in his voice, the way he was pleading.

  
Robert shook his head, "What did I say about ya being sorry?" He said quickly as he watched Aaron tilt his head away shyly, "You don't have to apologise for those twats" he added making Aaron look at him again.

  
Aaron sighed softly, "You shouldn't have to put up with it." He said, completely frustrated.

  
"That's my decision so..." Robert said with a smile before hovering over Aaron's lips, "I've made it, I chose you Aaron, with all your chavy hoddies and moody looks and I won't ever _stop_ choosing ya, regardless of your -"

  
"Baggage." Aaron cut in, he was in tears now, happy tears because he felt himself believing Robert but then he knew that their downfall would always be the shit that he came with.

  
"Past." Robert corrected, titling his head and then pressing a soft kiss onto Aaron's lips and pulling away again.

  
Aaron blushed as he looked at Robert, "Did ya mean what ya said...about choosing me, always." It had meant something.

  
Robert nodded his head, "Always." He whispered, "And about the chavy hoodies." He added with a wink causing Aaron to hit him on the chest and then immediately pull back as he saw Robert wince.

  
"Rob." Aaron panicked, his soft voice instantly making Robert feel better, "Oh baby I'm sorry I didn't -"

  
Robert raised an eyebrow before catching his breath, _baby_ , he couldn't believe another little term of endearment.

  
Aaron's eyes widened as he blushed, he was not that sort of bloke but Robert just bought out this affection from him somehow.

  
Aaron watched Robert smile at him, wide and inviting and he knew he was easy to tease him about it. Aaron raise a finger and pointed at Robert, "Don't you even think about it mate."

  
Robert raised an eyebrow again and bit down on his lip, " _Mate_ now am I?" He chuckled out as Aaron hovered over his lips and teased him before pulling away and raising to his feet.

  
"Oh c'mon ya can't do that." Robert said slamming a hand down on the sofa and letting out a laugh, "I want a kiss." He said softly making Aaron's heart flutter a little because Robert always wanted him.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders and walked back towards Robert, lifting him up, "I'll give ya more than that if ya good." Aaron growled into Robert's ear as he pulled him into a kiss and smiled as Robert pushed him towards the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

It was the middle of the night when it happened, when things suddenly all fell to the front of Aaron's mind and he was dreaming dark thoughts that managed to terrify him entirely.

Robert was there, his body twisted and broken on the floor as he tried to catch his breath, he was bleeding uncontrollably and whispering _I'm dying_ over and over again as Aaron cradled over him, letting out raw cries that sent shivers through his body. Almost as if knew what had happened and was aware it was all his own fault, his _past_.

" _LEAVE_ HIM ALONE!" Robert's eyes opened immediately, he could feel Aaron shaking as he cried out the words with only fear in his voice, an arm had been draped over Aaron as they slept soundly but now it had been pushed away out of sheer panic.

  
"Aaron...Aaron babe open your eyes." Robert's voice was soft as he pleaded with Aaron who was still heaving shallow breathes in and out, his face scrunched up and his eyes firmly shut as he let out another scream.

  
"PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM." Aaron let out quickly causing Robert to shake his head in shock, he didn't understand who Aaron was referring to and for a minute he thought about the brothers, hating them even more because they were making Aaron dream about what they did to Will.

  
Robert leaned in closer and hesitated over Aaron, scared to touch him, to scare him, "Aaron, it's okay..." He felt like an idiot, he had no idea what to say.

  
"PLEASE DON'T- ROBERT I'M SO SORRY."

  
Robert felt his heart racing as he realised Aaron was dreaming about him, about what had happened that night with those boys. Instinct took over and suddenly Robert was pulling at Aaron and begging him to respond because he couldn't bare him reliving that moment again and again in his mind.

  
"Aaron I'm okay, it's not real babe..." Robert pleaded again, a hand gently stroking Aaron's cheek, tears suddenly forming in his eyes as he watched Aaron begin to settle slightly, his eyes flickering open and then widening in surprise as he looked up at Robert.

  
"You're okay." Aaron breathed out, his breathing hard and shallow and making him feel ridiculously overwhelmed because it had been so _real_ , he had felt Robert's blood on him, all over him.

  
Robert wiped a tear away and sniffed, trying to smile, "Yeah I am, I am." He whispered back not wanting Aaron to know how much he had scared him.

  
Aaron pulled Robert into a tight hug, still shaking all over as he let out, "I saw ya, you were lying on the floor...b-bleeding and I couldn't help you -"

  
Robert squeezed Aaron even closer, shaking his head and trying his hardest not to cry again, "Let's not think about that, just..." Robert pulled away from Aaron and moved a hand into his, slowly moving down on the bed again, "Try and get some sleep...okay?"

  
Aaron saw the way Robert was looking at him and instantly felt guilty, "I'm sorry." He whispered as his head rested on the pillow again and he reached his hand out before it fell into Robert's.

  
Robert gulped, "What did I say?" He asked leaning towards Aaron, "You don't need to apologise anymore...for anything." He added as he watched Aaron nod his head slowly, giving in.

  
Robert watched Aaron begin to settle into a sleep, a long slow one where Robert could see the way his chest was raising up and down peacefully. Robert couldn't stop staring, watching and wondering and praying that Aaron would sleep well, despite the fact that he wouldn't.

 

* * *

 

The next day Aaron woke up with a start, his eyes wide and heart racing as he thought about the nightmare again, he had managed to drift off soundly, the feel of Robert near him had settled the thoughts for a few hours, enough for him to rest without worry. Now though it was morning and all Aaron could think about was Robert laying next to him, he looked tired and worried as he slept and the thought made Aaron jump out of the bed and race towards the kitchen just to try and escape the guilt he was feeling. Last night Robert had been there for him as he freaked out so madly and he was intensely grateful, yet he couldn't help but feel bad about the fact that Robert had clearly been effected by the outburst.

Aaron shook his head and sighed as he put the kettle on, he _hated_ how horrible he felt about it all, about something he couldn't really _control_. He didn't mean to scare Robert the way he almost _knew_ he had done, thinking back Aaron could have sworn Robert had almost been crying about it all and that made him feel even worse.

Aaron settled on the sofa, a mug of tea in his hand as he flicked through the channels, he wanted to join Robert back in bed but he didn't, something told him to leave the older man alone to sleep. He owed him that much.

  
The news flashed on the screen and caused Aaron's stomach to churn as he caught a glimpse at Harry, a mug shot, staring at him intensely, teasing him like always.

  
Aaron ripped his eyes away from the screen feeling sick as he heard the news continue on, filling the room.

 

' _Harry and Harley Jones have both been formally charged with the murder of William Tenner which took place nearly three months ago. Both are expected to stand trial in the upcoming weeks...'_

 

Relief should have washed through him at the words but it didn't, instead he just felt even more vulnerable, he was stupid to believe the ordeal would end as soon as he found himself back in Robert's arms, it wouldn't ever end - the nightmare last night had told him that much.

 

* * *

 

Robert huffed out a sigh as he rolled onto his side and slowly began to blink his eyes open, the feel of Aaron not by his side made him open them in complete shock. Memories of last night came flooding back to him, Aaron had been a mess as he obviously tried to battle the nightmare he was facing. Robert hadn't managed to sleep after that, after managing to settle Aaron again and make him drift back off to sleep. It had shaken him to the core, he wasn't good at support like that, whispering words of comfort in the night when it was needed. Savannah needed support like that most nights when she slept by Robert, crying about her mum, all he could do was hold her close and then a little closer because no words could really help her. Robert hated himself when the morning would come and he would be met with her sore, red eyes and he would wish he had the chance to make up for it all one day.

  
Last night he had tried his best with Aaron, wanted to make him feel better and pleaded with him to see that everything was okay. Somehow, after a few minutes of sheer panic and worry, it had worked.

Robert bit down on his lip as he lifted himself up in bed and heard the television, turning to the drawers on his right Robert picked up his phone and sighed. Of course Loui had tried to ring him another three times. Robert didn't want to speak to him when he was almost certain Jensen would be topic of discussion, he had taken up enough of Robert's energy.

It didn't stop him feeling the need to know if that turn for the worst had actually led to well the worst thing: _death_. Aaron would argue it wasn't the worst thing and that thought made Robert not want to know at all, he knew how much Aaron hated Jensen and he couldn't bare the thought of Jensen getting in the way of their happiness.

 

Robert held the phone in his hand, suddenly it started vibrating and of course Loui's name flashed up.

  
Robert sighed before answering it, he needed to get it out of the way and a small part of him missed his best mate.

  
"Alright mate." Robert mumbled out, a hand rubbing over his face and bracing himself for a pissy response.

  
"Well...I'm so glad you've _finally_ found your phone, 'cos I mean it wasn't broken, just been ringing and no answer."

  
Robert rolled his eyes, yes, _pissy_.

  
"I've been -"

  
"Busy, yeah I bet you have, with lover boy." Loui let out quickly before sighing.

  
Robert shook his head, "Yeah as it happens, he needs my support." He whispered as he tried to keep his cool. "He's just been released from prison mate."

  
The line was silent for a few seconds before Loui said anything else, "Look I know that...but I've been tryna keep ya in the loop about Jensen"

  
Robert blinked hard, annoyed, "And what makes ya think I want to be 'kept in the loop'?"

  
Loui sighed hard, "Well he wants to see ya."

  
Robert gulped as he heard the words and struggled to take them in. He didn't understand why Jensen would want him anywhere near the hosptial considering the fact that he had tried to kill himself because of the ulimtwtim Robert gave him.

  
"I don't - I don't get why -" Robert stammered out the words quickly.

  
"Me either but he just does." Loui said slowly, "He rang the office, asking if you were there and I said no, he asked me to pass on a message to ya about ya going to see him to 'clear the air' apparently." Loui blurted it all out quickly as Robert tried to listen.

  
Robert huffed out another sigh, "Clear the air? What a tosser." He spat, he was making it all sound as if they had only had a small little disagreement about something and nothing.

  
"He nearly died yesterday, he's in a really bad way and...well I think it would be a good idea to see him before anything bad happens." Loui seemed to know him too well, mentioning his brush with death again was enough to make Robert frown harshly.

  
_Nearly died._

  
"Loui there was a reason why I didn't answer ya back last night you know, I don't want anything to do with him anymore." Robert couldn't help but feel frustrated.

  
"Mate ya ain't heartless." Loui mumbled out, daring too.

  
Robert suddenly shook his head and shouted out, "Me? He's the heartless one!"

  
"I get that, mate I'm not tryna cause an issue here I just...I just think you'd regret not saying what you really want to him if he does kick the bucket." The words suddenly caused Robert to think hard and grow silent. He hated him but that satisfaction of telling the old man that he hadn't managed to ruin all of his happiness with his spite and messed up values lingered.

  
"I'll..." Robert was cut off by the sound coming from the living room, crying, Aaron crying, "I'll think about it okay...I've got to go." He said quickly before ending the call and hesitantly walking towards the living room.

 

Aaron was there, on the sofa watching the television yet almost not there entirely, Robert looked towards the television, instantly seeing Will's face, smiling and happy as if he was oblivious to his brutal end. Robert walked further towards Aaron, trying his hardest not to frighten him at all.

  
"Hey...why didn't ya wake me?" Robert asked softly as he crouched down by the sofa and attempted to hold Aaron's hand.

  
Aaron wanted to look up towards Robert and settle the nerves in his voice but instead he simply shrugged his shoulders, "You er...you looked peaceful, didn't want to ruin it." He said before looking towards the window and brushing the hand that Robert had rested on his thigh a second before.

  
Robert gulped hard and nodded his head before leaning closer to Aaron and begging for him to be okay, "Aaron, do ya want me to turn the television off?" He asked sheepishly.

  
Aaron placed his head in his hands and sighed, "That won't help." He sighed before rising to his feet and wiping his tears away.

  
Robert had never felt so helpless as he watched Aaron walk towards the kitchen and turn on the tap to fill a glass full of water. Robert couldn't help but look away as he saw the way Aaron was shaking, he hated seeing him like that.

  
"I just saw his face, that was it." Aaron spat out turning away from Robert still, "It just won't go away, no matter how much I try." He sighed hard, his head bowing down and a cry escaping him.

  
Robert couldn't stand back any longer, all he kept thinking of was Aaron's past and how he used to deal with these situations, hurting himself, hating himself and the thought made Robert want nothing else but to silence all the demons that wouldn't leave Aaron alone.

  
Robert tentatively approached Aaron, turning him around and forcing Aaron to look his way, "Aaron, it will, in time it will I promise ya." He said sternly, trying to make Aaron see.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "Whenever I'm happy...like last night, it always ruins it...I just...I just see his face and I'm reminded." He let out with a shiver. Aaron sighed, his eyes finally looking completely at Robert and then pulling away again because he could see the scar from the night before, it was almost haunting him and making him feel sick.

  
Robert backed away all at once seeing the look on Aaron's face. He clearly was still effected by everything and Robert couldn't help but feel like an idiot for expecting them to be happy almost instantly. Aaron was still trying to get over one of the most horrific experiences in his troubled life, still having these days where he would be closed off and reserved and that sparky cheeky smile of his wouldn't be there anymore.

Robert hated that the most, the way it had almost becoming crystal clear that Aaron wasn't well, the signs had been there since Robert first heard Aaron talk about the 'bad days' he would have. Robert almost knew, he just didn't want to face up to it because _his_ Aaron was happy and kind and brave, not scared and vulnerable and broken.

  
Robert felt tears filling in his eyes, realisation, "Aaron...maybe we could look into some sessions for you." He stopped himself from speaking suddenly as he saw Aaron look his way again, he didn't seem to keen.

  
Aaron had heard the words before by his mum, paddy even Cain thought it'd be best if he 'sorted his head out good and proper' after Jackson died. He hated the pity, the feeling he got whenever he had to sit there and just talk about everything and explain how he was handling Jackson's death, just giving in to what they all wanted. No one asked what he wanted.

  
Aaron sniffed as he wiped at his face again, Robert was looking at him expectantly, filled with nerves that made Aaron feel bad because it was only last night when they were kissing each other and laughing and _living_ and now he just looked almost frightened by Aaron's response, that giddy love look was gone.

  
"I've tried it." Aaron mumbled out with a shrug, "After...Jackson, it dosen't help." He added as he saw Robert's face fall slightly.

  
Robert gulped hard, a small part of him told him to leave the subject well alone but he still wanted to help, "It could do Aaron, it's been a while and something tells me your heart wasn't in it back then." He said wearily.

  
Aaron shook his head, his arms folded over each other, "What makes you think my heart would be in it now?" He asked with a frown.

  
Robert's eyes widened, "Don't you want to be -"

  
"What fixed? Is that what this is all about?" He couldn't help himself, Robert was too close to the truth.

  
Robert shook his head realising that Aaron was angry now, really angry and all he wanted to do was settle him.

  
"I was gonna say be better, not fixed...Aaron I just want to -"

  
Aaron sighed and shook his head, "I don't blame ya, bit of an anti climax this isn't? I mean you tried all you could to get me out of there, to...to have me back and what do I do? Cry at the sight of any of _them_ and...and scare ya with all those fucking nightmares that I can't stop having." He let the words race out quickly, tears threatening to fall but keeping in check.

  
Robert walked towards him, gently putting a hand up to cup Aaron's face and whispered softly, "I love you Aaron." It was meant to say everything he couldn't.

  
Aaron shook his head as he pushed Robert's hand away, "Well you shouldn't, 'cos I'm damaged goods and the sooner you realise that the better." He said as he walked towards the door, pushing up the hoddie he was wearing so that it covered his hair.

  
Robert remained frozen on the spot, "Where...where are ya going?" He felt sick with fear, _please_ don't leave me now.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I need some air, I'm sorry Rob...I'm so sorry." It seemed innocent enough until he started apologising _again_ and Robert couldn't help but wonder what he was going to do.

 

Fear circled his mind as he heard the door slam, Aaron was vulnerable when he was having a bad time of it, he would quickly become careless and reckless and everything would end in disaster. Robert wanted nothing more than to run after him, to hold him and bring him back but he realised he needed time away from him, the last thing he wanted to do was suffocated the man he loved.

Robert slouched down on the sofa, his phone in hand again as he looked at a photo he had taken last night without Aaron knowing. They had just had sex, only the once because Robert's stomach was still hurting him from the blow, Aaron had fallen into a light sleep like always did straight after their passion and Robert couldn't resit capturing the innocent beauty that he called his _boyfriend_.

It was perfect then, so easy when he was in Aaron's arms but then things would make Aaron distant and cold and feel the need to find an escape. He was still recovering and Robert hated the thought of them moving too fast for the younger man, if it was really a good idea to expect Aaron to simply fall back into a routine he had in that flat, the very one he was dragged away from by the police. It must have held awful memories, memories about Jensen.

  
Jensen, he caused it all, the _pain_ , the _tears_.

 

Robert shook his head as he darted towards the shower, intent on getting ready and going down to that hospital to see the old man - he had to take his anger out on somebody.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO MORE CHAPTERS!!!


	35. Pain has no limits.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was loosing him, right there and then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst is necessary;)

  
Robert approached the hospital room, looking round and seeing the distinct lack of 'get well soon' cards that circled the shelf near his bed. No one cared all that much then. Robert hadn't seen Jensen since _that_ night when he gave him _that_ ultimatum and it shook him slightly as he peered into the room and saw how weak he seemed laying in the bed. Two officers stood outside the door, Robert smiled at them, he knew who they were and knew that they would let him slip in for that chat Jensen had asked for.

Robert didn't expect the monitor to be so loud as he walked into the room, Jensen was laying there with wires coming out of him and his were closed firmly shut. Robert wondered, for a second, if he was in some sort of coma that Loui hadn't mentioned but then he saw a finger twitch and he realised he was awake.

  
Robert gulped hard as he saw Jensen's eyes open weakly and then a small smile spread across his face, he couldn't help but feel unsettled by it, not knowing if it was a smug one or not and hating how Jensen still could second guess him.

  
"Didn't think you'd turn up son." Jensen's voice was weak yet dripping with smugness now.

  
Robert leaned in closer and shock his head, "Don't even think of calling me that again." He spat, he knew Jensen still thought he held the power.

  
Jensen's smile widened, "Touchy then." He spat back shifting his weight on the bed, "I was surprised ya didn't come as soon as you found out, thought you'd want to gloat." He said suddenly surprising Robert.

  
"I didn't care all that much." Robert let out with a shrug, lying, "You were dead to me the minute I find out who you really were." He added harshly.

  
Jensen frowned a little as if he was taken aback by the words, "Suppose you were a bit preoccupied, having that thug back in your arms again."

  
Robert stared darkly down at Jensen, "Don't even mention him, you have no right." He was complete cold, back to the man he was when Savannah died, suddenly numb because he couldn't stop thinking about how Aaron was coping after he just raced out the door.

  
Jensen could tell instantly that he had hit a nerve, "Things not going -"

  
Robert held his stare before looking away, "He's...broken, one minute he's Aaron, he's happy and hopeful and then something happens and he's back there, it's down to you. It's all down to you," he turned back towards Jensen and pointed at him harshly, "I'll never have him back after _you_ locked him up." He was completely defeated.

  
Jensen let out a sigh, frowning again and looking tired, "Sugden, I wanted you to come here so that...you could -"

  
Robert shook his head, "What? Forgive you?" He couldn't believe it, was Jensen really that delusional?

  
Jensen blinked slowly, "I thought...I hoped ya would be in a better place, I gave you what you wanted but obviously." Jensen cut himself off as he looked at the cut underneath Robert's eye "Things haven't gone your way..."

  
Robert sighed and pulled a hand through his hair, "When do they ever?" He muttered out harshly.

 

* * *

 

Aaron found a small bench in a park to sit on, he was finding it hard to catch his breath as he heard children playing nearby. He hated how guilty he felt, how tortured he was because he had just walked out like that, the minute Robert had mentioned getting him the help he knew he needed. Aaron placed his head firmly in his hands and sighed as he thought about Jensen, he hated him for everything, the depressed state he was in when he spent _days_ in prison, how he made him relive the pain over and over again and more importantly because Robert had once trusted him. Somewhere that hurt the most because it felt as thought Jensen could still have this hold over the man he was with, it unsettled Aaron completely.

Harry and Harley were there, in his mind over and over again on repeat, _killing_ Will. Aaron didn't understand why he couldn't stop thinking about them. For months he had been able to try and forget about the ordeal, when he was on the run, hiding away and trying his hardest to black out the dark memories that he couldn't escape from. For so long he had been simply getting by, sleeping down ally's and only thinking about the ordeal when the sky was at its darkest. Until he was in London, falling at some bloke's feet and then soon feeling nothing but love. Someone was making him feel safe, wanted, needed, _loved_ back and it was all down to Robert. Robert, the one person that made everything bearable, that made him forget about his past.

  
Aaron sighed a little wishing that was still true, wishing that Robert hadn't been a detective in the first place, wishing he had no idea who Aaron was, wishing that when he did find out they ran away together sooner like they planned, wishing they were on that beach happy and content. Just wishing that whenever he looked at Robert, he could still find that distraction, not look at him and only be reminded of _everything_ he wanted to forget. It was just almost still too raw, as if being with Robert after it all was too raw.

The sound of light feet approaching him made Aaron look up slowly, a little girl was a few feet away simply staring at him, her head titled to the side as she took all of Aaron in. She was sporting pig tails and freckles and wide brown eyes still fixed on him. Aaron shifted uncomfortably as she continued to stare before she finally muttered out, "My brother's ball fell behind there..." She said pointing to the ground behind Aaron's bench, "Can I get it please?" She added softly making Aaron smile and nod his head.

  
Aaron watched her move quickly, darting underneath the bench and obviously not caring about getting her knees dirty from the soil. She made Aaron smile as she suddenly let out a triumphant squeal, pulling herself up again and holding out the small ball she was looking for.

  
"Found it then." Aaron said softly as he watched the girl look down at the ball as if it was magical.

  
Aaron watched her, slightly in awe of how simple innocence could make someone so happy. The sound of a boy approaching on a small scooter made Aaron's eyes widened in shock as he attempted to pull the girl towards him and couldn't quite grasp her in time causing her to be pushed to the ground as the boy tried to miss her. The sound of her crying made Aaron instinctively rush towards her, looking around the small park to look for her parents as she cried over her bleeding knees.

  
"Hey it's okay." Aaron shushed her as she sobbed, reaching out a hand for Aaron to hold.

  
Suddenly Aaron heard a scream and then a woman came running towards him and the little girl, "MASIE! MASIE!" She was shouting like a mad woman and soon everyone was turning around, all eyes firmly fixed on Aaron.

  
The hysterical woman picked the little girl up in her arms, pulling a hand to her face to remove her hair that was bothering her and then petting the girl.

  
"She's just hurt her knees, some kid -" Aaron cut himself off as he looked at her and saw the way she was looking back, hardly filled with gratitude.

  
The woman began to frown as she titled her head and then stared wide eyed at him, she knew, "Oh God, you're that...that man that...God." She was almost trembling as she spoke and Aaron felt _sick_.

  
Aaron's face fell as she pulled herself away from him, suddenly shielding her child as if he was this danger to her. Aaron walked towards her, his hands out shakily, "Listen I didn't do any -"

  
The woman only seemed to be more frightened as she suddenly yelled out, "Stay away from me!" as loud as she could and then Aaron felt a hand grip his shoulder and spin him around. A man was there, tall and well built and staring at him angrily.

  
Aaron gulped hard as he tried to back away, he wasn't strong enough to deal with this yet.

  
"I think the lady said stay away." Aaron heard the man say, his voice harsh as he looked at him up and down slowly, "You're that Livesy, you shouldn't be allowed _near_ kids, you're a _danger_ to 'em." He said before shoving Aaron hard in an attempt to knock him off balance.

  
Aaron suddenly exploded, last night hadn't done anything to help Robert but now he couldn't just stand back, he was sick of the looks, the stares and the way he almost _knew_ he would have to get used to it all. Suddenly Aaron charged towards the man attempting to land a punch and then being cut short by a fist flying towards his face, hitting him hard and knocking him towards the ground instantly. His head hit the gravel _harder_ than he had expected and suddenly everything was black.

 

* * *

 

Robert didn't know why he ended up staying there for so long, in that hospital room with Jensen but he did. A small part of him didn't want to go back, wasn't ready to face Aaron and simply wanted to lash out at Jensen as long as he could. It worked for a while, Jensen was taking it all and Robert found a lot of his anger escaping him as he spoke.

  
"They've been charged, so you're safe and I bet you'll get a nice special place in prison too, all secure and protected." Robert hated how true his statement was.

  
"I'll die in there boy, all alone, isn't that enough?" Jensen panted hard suddenly as if the realisation had shook him hard.  
Robert hesitated slowly as he walked towards the door and attempted to leave.

  
"I've got to accept that, just like you have to accept that Aaron will never really forget how you met, what you remind him of: hiding. How can you not see that you can't have a future with someone like that? Someone who _can't_ get over his past."

Jensen tried to lift himself up on the bed as Robert looked towards the door still, he felt as though his heart had just been ripped out of his chest and stamped on. As if every fear he ever thought had been voiced a loud for him to hear.

  
"You can't help everyone kid." A lasting remark that managed to hit home, one that made Robert think back to that morning where he had mentioned getting Aaron the help he needed and it was turned away.

  
Robert sighed, opening the door and then looking back at Jensen, "Have a nice time in prison." He spat trying to save some of his pride as he walked out and stood there in the hospital, hopeless all at once.

Robert began walking to the exit knowing he would have to find Aaron and talk to him properly about everything. The thought of things ending between them managed to make Robert's heart almost double in size, in a bad way. That's the last thing he wanted.

The sound of a nurse walking by him slowly managed to catch Robert's attention all at once, just a sentence and his eyes were widening and he was following her voice as she continued.

  
'Aaron Livesy, trauma to the head'.

  
Robert couldn't think of anything else other than Aaron hurting himself, Aaron allowing himself to be in danger because he wanted to feel pain. Robert suddenly saw him, the nurse didn't realise how much she had been blabbing on about to a radio she had but it was enough to get Robert a floor and a room. He was laying in the bed, eyes thankfully open and head bandaged, he didn't look like he was in a world of pain but that was besides the point. He had been, obviously.

  
Robert hesitated by the door, he didn't know what to do or say, he just had this overwhelming urge to cry, cry for the mess Aaron was in, one he was scared Aaron would never be able to escape from - despite the love Robert was ready to give him.

  
Aaron caught his eye as he shifted up on the bed as if he was trying to make out he was stronger than he actually was. That hurt to see.

  
Robert realised he couldn't ignore Aaron, he walked into the room and suddenly he couldn't stand the space between them anymore, he _loved_ him so much it hurt. Robert pulled his hand towards Aaron's and grasped it tightly, looking at up at Aaron and then back down at his hand, gently stroking his skin in small circles.

  
"Aaron, tell me you didn't..." Robert couldn't continue, his hand bowed and suddenly he was trying to keep it all together, he was _exhausted_ by his thoughts.

  
Aaron stared wide eyed for a second before realising what Robert meant, a part of him wanted to scream and shout and tell Robert he was wrong but how could he? Robert looked as fragile as he felt himself. The thought of Aaron self harming in any way was enough to make Robert complete breakdown, and that scared Aaron a little too much.

  
Aaron shook his head slowly, squeezing onto Robert's hand, "No, no I...this girl hurt herself, I was only helping but her mum came and she just took one look at me and - and freaked out. She was...terrified, then this guy come and...started saying stuff, I just had enough...I tried to punch him but he was quicker, the next minute I knew I was on the floor."

  
Robert suddenly felt even worse, Aaron couldn't even get a bit of fresh air without running into trouble because of the case, it wouldn't stop haunting him.

  
"Aaron, God I'm so sorry." Robert whispered out gently, making him shudder all over.

  
Aaron sighed a little as he tried to catch a break, clearly he was still shaken, "I wished you had been there, to protect me like ya always do." He tried to chuckle the words out but suddenly winced at the impact on his head. Robert tried to smile but couldn't, he knew Aaron was right. He should have been there, by his side, yet instead he was sitting in a hospital chair with the man who had caused Aaron so much harm and pain and _misery_.

  
Robert could hardly look at Aaron, suddenly feeling as if he had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

  
Aaron pulled a hand up to hold Robert's face and smiled as Robert tentatively looked up, "It's going to be okay, I'm gonna be okay" he whispered, an encouragement because he knew Robert only wanted the best for him.

  
Robert nodded his head, relief washed over him for a few seconds as he held onto the words, "I just, Aaron you how much I -"

Aaron pulled Robert towards him and kissed his lips gently, "I know..." He whispered as he suddenly saw the way Robert was looking at him, guilty, "Rob, what's -"

  
Robert suddenly leaned in closer, breathing in all of Aaron as he cupped his face, "I hate letting ya down." He cried out, his eyes filled with this sorrow that Aaron hated to see. Robert couldn't hold it in any longer, he had let Aaron down by seeing Jensen and it hurt him to think Aaron had needed him and he was busy with his fucking enemy.

  
Aaron touched Robert's nose softly, "Don't be silly." He said with a worried looking smile.

  
Robert pulled away, _if only you knew_.

  
Aaron bit down on his lip knowing something was wrong and needing to speak to Robert properly, "Robert, take me home." Je said softly as Robert looked his way and frowned.

  
"Babe, slight head injury." Robert smiled trying to act normal and pointing to the bandage.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes and ignored the way his heart felt when Robert called him _babe_ once again, "It's not as bad as you think, I'm fine and the doctors think so too..." Aaron huffed out looking towards the bedside table and the tablets, "I can take them and go." He added making Robert settle slightly, he wanted him _close_ , he wanted to protect him from the world.

  
Robert nodded his head, walking towards Aaron again and smile wearily, "Are you sure you're okay? He had to ask, he'd probably ask again on the way home too about five times just to be certain.

  
Aaron smiled weakly, "I know this morning I was..." He titled his head towards the floor, "But I just need time and I'm not gonna push ya away next time Robert I swear, I'm trying my hardest." He let out as Robert held onto him, he couldn't help but smile as Robert leaned in to kiss him more passionately this time. Somehow Robert felt more settled, he was hearing all the right things and it made him feel better almost instantly, because Aaron would _try_ and that was all he could ask for.

  
"Let's get you home, sunshine." Robert teased before kissing Aaron's forehead lovingly.

 

* * *

 

Aaron settled down onto the sofa in a heap, his head was still sore and he purposely had avoided telling Robert about him passing out because of the contact his head had made with the pavement.

  
Robert looked at him and then squinted, almost knowing something was wrong but deciding not to mention it, Aaron wasn't the only one with something to hide.

  
Aaron gulped hard as Robert sat next to him, reaching out his hand. Robert couldn't explain how safe he felt when Aaron held his hand, squeezed it slowly and made him completely unwind and relax, as if he was able to melt it all away.

  
"Thank you," Aaron mumbled as his eyes met Robert's, "You have to know...know that I'm going to try, really try to...to -"

  
Robert frowned softly, he heard the almost desperate tone to his voice and felt dreadful, "I don't want to put that pressure on ya." Robert raised a hand towards Aaron's face slowly, "Like you said, it'll talk time but...but I'll be here, no matter what." He said, trying his hardest to let Aaron know.

  
Aaron nodded his head, a tear escaping, "It's just...just you and me, I don't even want to think about Jensen." J  said his name with a grunt and then saw the way Robert was looking at him.

  
Aaron blinked quickly, "Okay?" Robert looked at him, eyes wide and then cleared his throat and nodded leaving Aaron confused.

  
Robert felt his cheeks redden, lying made him look like that nowadays, "I'm just glad I got there when I did, that I saw ya." He said, a hand on Aaron's thigh, changing the subject.

  
Aaron blinked again, this time quicker as he looked at Robert, "Same," he let out before chewing at his gum and frowning, "Hold on, how did...how did you even know I was there?" Robert's face fell, his heart _thumping_ as Aaron kept his stare.

  
Robert breathed out shakily as Aaron watched his expression change, "Why would ya even _be_ at the -" Aaron's eyes widened as he looked away, disgusted as he pulled a hand over his mouth and got to his feet, "Unless..."

  
Robert wanted to lie, he was good at that but he somehow couldn't, Aaron knew, he _really_ knew already didn't he.

  
"Aaron, it's not what -"

  
Aaron shook his head, trying to take it all in as best he could. It felt as though a bullet had just pushed through him, betrayal, that was all he could think of as Robert started babbling on about how Jensen asked to see him and all he did was shout and chuck insults at him. It still didn't make sense though, it still hurt.

  
"Why would you even want to go and see him?" Aaron pulled a hand through his hair as he looked at Robert, "After everything he's done?"

  
Robert tried to find words, "I...I don't know," he finally let out sheepishly as he waved a hand out in frustration, "You, you just left and I was angry and...and I wanted to take it out on him I suppose." He added as Aaron turned away from him again.

  
Robert sighed as he reached out and pulled at Aaron's shoulder, spinning him around.

  
"So when I needed ya you were in the hospital with _him_ , instead of _me."_ Aaron had tears in his eyes, angry ones that would fall with less ease than the other.

  
Robert shook his head, letting out a little sigh because it all sounded even worse than it seemed in his head.

  
"Aaron please," he was pleading with Aaron to smile at him, to forgive him, to love him like he always did but he was cold, just cold, "It wasn't like that, I just...I was giving you space, but I won't do that anymore if -"

  
Aaron suddenly fell onto the sofa again, defeated as he held his head in his hands and sighed hard, "This isn't working." He let out quickly, looking straight at Robert and feeling his heart rip at the dreadful truth.

  
Robert instantly crouched by Aaron's knees, tears spilling over at the words he never wanted to hear, "Don't...don't - please don't say that Aaron." He was shaking as he begged with him.

  
Aaron pulled a hand through his hair again, making it even messier as he ripped of the head bandage swiftly revealing a small red bump that would bruise. Aaron looked down towards Robert and shook his head before leaning towards him and desperately whispering, "I can't be here anymore."

  
Robert knew, he had known for a while, but he couldn't say anything because he just wished that if he made Aaron happy, he could forget the memories.

  
"Is this about - about Jensen?" Robert said in a panic causing Aaron to shake his head.

  
"No, no this is...is about that." Aaron pointed to Robert's cut, "And....this," he said pointing to his head, "I can't...keep putting myself or _you_ in danger, not anymore."

  
Robert blinked slowly trying to think of what to say, "Don't, don't worry about that Aaron, we will be fine, you said it yourself." his voice was high and panicked still.

  
Aaron breathed out harshly, "I lied." H  let out, "I can't do this." He sighed, realisation hitting.

  
Aaron sighed again, his lips trembling slightly, "I miss being me, without people staring or being scared of me. I just can't -" he trailed off suddenly finding it hard to breathe. Robert felt his heart breaking even further as he slowly rubbed at Aaron's knees and tried to comfort him, "Hey, it's okay..." he tried.

  
Aaron looked up at Robert and rubbed at his eyes as he attempted to pull Robert's hands away from him, " _Please_ don't, don't be nice to me, do you not get...get what I'm saying here?" He let out, suddenly shaking all over at the words.

  
Robert bowed his head, of course he knew, he just didn't want to admit it, he still wanted to be the naive fool, "We...we can go wherever you want, okay, just - me and...and you - like, like you said right?" He was a mess, a shaky, terrible, sick mess of a man because he knew what was coming next.

  
Aaron inhaled sharply, "I...I can't, Rob - I need to go, me, not...not _us."_  it was paining him to say it, to admit that he needed time alone to get his head round everything.

  
Robert felt his heart drop out of his chest, "Aaron, it's..." He cut himself off, searching for words still, "I...get it, I get it but...but I can't just let you go, I care about you too -"

  
Aaron shook his head seeing the worry on Robert's face that scared him, "You don't _trust_ me not to hurt myself, you shouldn't have to worry - I don't _want_ you to carry that around _please._ " he was pleading, begging Robert but he realised he couldn't just make Robert _unlove_ him.

  
Robert sighed as he grasped Aaron's hand, "You actually think I'd be able to...to just not worry, when your.... _gone?_ " he let out the words and they felt alien, he suddenly walked towards the drawer and pulled out a phone he had going spare, pressing it into Aaron's palm, "At least take this," he mumbled as he looked at Aaron.

  
Aaron instantly thought of his mum, Cain, _home_ , he had to go there, home, "I won't be alone, I'll...I'll go back home, to emmerdale, they won't make me remember everything over and over again -"

  
A kick _hard_ in the gut caught Robert off balance, "Unlike me then," he didn't mean for it to sound as cutting as it did.

  
Aaron reached out a hand for Robert, "I'm _begging_ ya, please don't make this any harder than it needs to be." Robert wanted to touch Aaron, to soothe his worry but he knew if he did he wouldn't let go.

  
"You know what hurts the most?" Robert said shakily as he looked at Aaron, "The fact that...I can't make you _happy,_ " the desperation in his voice made him feel at his weakest.

  
Aaron pulled Robert towards him, "You do, you...no one has ever made me _happier_ , Robert _please_ , please know that." Je whispered, pleading.

  
Robert wiped his eyes and stood up, "I'm just not enough." He let out dryly, lacking any emotion.

  
_You're_ _never_ _enough._

  
Aaron stood to his feet mirroring Robert and pressing their heads together, "Don't say that," he whispered, hovering over Robert's lips, "I just -"

  
Robert let out a gentle sigh as he pulled away from Aaron's grip, "I know what you need, and it isn't me, you _need_ your family, not me." He said the words softly before turning away from Aaron, "Not anymore," he let out in a whisper.

Robert found his coat by the door and pulled it round him as he walked towards the door, "I can't be here when you leave, I can't." He said still facing the door and not daring to look back.

  
Aaron stood there, shaking as he tried to think of something to say, "I understand," slow and slightly cold, unintentionally slow.

  
Robert sniffed softly, "Use the...the house phone to call your...whoever, just...just," he cut himself off, not quite believing he wouldn't see Aaron again when he came back.

  
Aaron suddenly stood behind him, wrapping an arm around and kissing the back of Robert's neck sensitively, "I'm so sorry." He let out because he was breaking his heart, the one person who loved him in this lonely city.

  
Robert turned towards Aaron, tears in his eyes as his head hit the back of the door, "Please, tell me you're coming back." He said, begging.

  
Aaron's eyes darted across the room, he couldn't be sure, "Robert I can't ask ya to wait when I don't even know if -"

  
Robert shut his eyes all at once.

  
_If_ , not, _when_.

  
He was loosing him, right there and then.

  
Robert let out a tear roll down his face, "Just - _please_ don't tell me you're leaving me like this, even if...if you are, just tell me you'll come back." A plead, one Aaron couldn't ignore.

  
Aaron breathed out softly, "I'll come back," he whispered gently making Robert smile as he leaned into a kiss, a soft, tender one that made both of them not want to let go.

  
Aaron pulled away first, still gripping onto Robert's shirt, "You know I -"

  
Robert couldn't hear the words, he just couldn't, "I know." He whispered before turning to the door and walking out, down the stairs and towards a small side street before falling to his knees and breaking down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter to gooooo let me know what you think so far!!


	36. A new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't tell me ya still chew on ya nails?" Chas said gasping playfully as she watched her son biting down on them, "You only do that when you're nervous" she couldn't help but add.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've stuck with this story I commend you brave soldiers! It's been a bloody rollercoaster of events, ups and downs and spins and circles and twists and finally it's come to an end. I really hope you enjoy this last chapter, I think the boys deserve some well earned FLUFF!!

  
_Robert, by the time you read this I'll be on a train back to Yorkshire. My uncle got me a ticket at the last minute and I'll be there by tonight. I need you to know that I am so sorry for having to leave you, but I'm sure you would agree that I'm not in the right place to love you right now and make you happy the way you keep trying to make me._

_I can't say if I'll ever be ready to come back to London, the amount of ghosts that followed me there won't go away, but I'm hoping they do in time. A few years ago I thought I'd never be able to step foot back in my village, but time heals dosent it? We both know that. I can't expect you to wait for me to just be over the nightmares and the fear, because I have no idea when that will be. But what I do know is, I'm not alone and you don't have to worry about me, my mum will do enough cuddling for the both of you._

_All my love, Aaron xx_

 

Robert read it another three times as he sat in the flat, alone and completely heartbroken. He couldn't do anything but cry as he realised he was gone and he couldn't race after him this time for his own selfish needs. He'd just have to learn how to not think about him as much, not want him, always.

 

* * *

 

Aaron had let all his tears out on the train, going over the letter he left for Robert to read and hating himself for not telling Robert how much he loved him, so much. Aaron shook his head hard as he approached the pub, trying to make space for the thoughts that were niggling away at him. It had been years since he had seen his mother and held her and talked to her about how she was doing, it was almost always about him and his mess of a life - never her.

Aaron couldn't help but feel guilty about putting her through so much pain over the years, it wasn't fair. It never had been. Aaron tried to catch his breath as he looked up at the sign, still the same. The shops around the village however looked different, he didn't remember the cafe looking the way it did now, it seemed more stylish dare he think. Aaron turned towards the garage and smiled proudly, he had spent a long time there, fixing cars just as much as kicking them out of frustration.

Aaron gulped as his thoughts turned to Cain, who had been pretty shocked to hear from his estranged nephew after all this time, now ringing and asking for help. Aaron had half expected Cain to tell him to _do_ one but he didn't, a sensitive tone in his voice gave his relief away. Aaron had smiled as he realised his uncle had missed his nephew. Aaron moved further towards the pub, a hand firmly in his pocket as he shuddered, he was ridiculously tired and suddenly all he needed was a warm bed, and a soft hug and _love_. As soon as he opened the doors she was there, it was surreal seeing her standing by the bar, loose grin on her face that made her almost _glow_.

The place was all but empty as she casually looked towards the doors and then let out a small gasp, as her eyes met Aaron's.

  
"My baby," tears overwhelmed her as she rushed towards him, arms gripping tight around him as she pulled him into a hug that Aaron couldn't help but melt into.

  
He was burying his head further into her, nuzzling down and crying his eyes out because it felt so right to be this close to her, he had missed her so much and spent hours longing to hear her gobby voice nag at him like she used to do. He had missed everything.

  
"How did - I heard they released ya but I had no idea where you were!"

  
"I'm okay mum." Aaron whispered, pulling away and staring at her full of hope.

  
Chas pinched his chine and smiled, "Now you are." She mumbled before rubbing his arm softly, "God I've still got ya room all done for ya." She said proudly as she grabbed Aaron's hand and led him into the back room.

  
Chas wiped away her tears as Aaron squeezed at her hand and said, "I've missed ya, so much mum, so much," before falling into another hug, "I need ya to help me get through this mum." He did, he needed her to help him even more than she did with Jackson.

  
"Of course love," Chas whispered, settling him down onto the sofa as she spoke to him, "But you have to...to tell me everything, let me know how I can help you darling." She was gentle and caring yet Aaron still had to catch his breath because he had no idea where _everything_ even started.

 

Somehow he managed to tell his mother about the murder, about Will and the role he played, it was painful seeing her face fall as he said how broken and scared he was after it all yet the way she held him close and told him it was all going to be better soon managed to settled his thoughts. Mentioning Robert was too hard to do, instead he left him out of his speech, focusing on his time in prison and how he felt when he was released instead, that made her smile, so it made him smile.

 

* * *

 

It felt odd being back in his room, as if it didn't seem right at all. His feet stretched out that little bit further and his head didn't fit right on the flattened pillows. He couldn't help but feel the need to stretch out like he usually did, searching for a hand, _his_ hand. It was pointless however, he couldn't think about Robert and not think about the case, the mess. It hurt, thinking how they linked together, Robert - the one good thing to come out of it all that was cruelly linked to a death, to a _murder_. Somehow it reminded him of Jackson, how he felt about him for so long, linked to _death_ , the thought managed to override any feeling of love he had for the man.

  
Aaron gently closed his eyes, still thinking about it all, realising that the feeling did eventually subside and now he could think of Jackson and smile. Aaron blinked with every count of the word 'faded', hoping it would happen with Robert, it faded, it faded, it faded over time. _Time_ , he just needed time.

 

* * *

 

  _ **Two weeks later:**_

 

Aaron settled quicker than he thought he would, the village was slow and quiet compared to London and made all the crazy, scary thoughts in his mind seem to cool down into something manageable.

  
Aaron had visited Adam the first week he got back and suddenly he was smiling again because despite the fact that Adam was behind a table and in a prison uniform, they were able speak as though years _hadn't_ separated the friendship at all. There was no judgment or awkward questions and everything felt right in that moment.

The nightmares ended and turned into dreams, dreams Aaron was able to become lost in. They would always end with him at the beach, Robert walking towards him, smiling, reaching out and then he would wake up and it would be over. All over.

  
They started becoming more vivid a week after he had first arrived back in the village, things were better, clearer and days spent laying in fields and doing absolutely nothing else but relaxing and getting his breath back, managed to make things seem more obvious all of a sudden. Everyone in the village somehow respected him entirely, it was as if Chas had gave everyone a silent warning regarding her son and how to act around him and although the odd pity stare was still given, he knew everyone meant well. It was a welcomed change, one Aaron couldn't help but embrace.

  
There was a reason why Robert was in his dreams, _still_. There was a reason why every night he still stretched out in that bed every night searching for him. But that fear was still there, it wouldn't go away, despite Frankie, a counsellor, a great one who made things _easier_. They spoke about Will, about the murder and it made things better.

 

* * *

  

"You still blame yourself?" Frankie asked, questioning Aaron as he sat opposite him.

  
Aaron looked up at Frankie as if he was mad, "Of course I do...I can't help myself after what I did."

  
"You need to try and let go Aaron, it's the only way you'll move on." Frankie stated, pen in his hand.

  
Aaron nodded his head, breathing in and out slowly - _let go, let go._

 

* * *

 

"Tell me about him." Frankie skirted around the subject every session since Aaron entered his room.

  
Aaron stared wide eyed, gulping hard, "I don't know what to say," he let out with a shrug, a small simple one that made Frankie lean in closer.

  
"You could tell me how you feel about him now?"

  
Aaron sighed a little at that, trying to catch his breath, "I love him, I just...I just don't know if it's, enough." He let out gently.

  
Frankie nodded his head knowingly, "Aaron how will you ever know if you don't try." He asked leaving Aaron suddenly filled with thoughts.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks without him, two weeks spent thinking, waiting, wanting, it all somehow boiled down to a night where he couldn't handle the space anymore. Aaron was always there, always on his mind despite the fact that he was seemingly moving on.

Loui was smiling more a him and daring to ask him out for parties and Robert was agreeing, he told himself it was a good thing, yet it was only an excuse to get as drunk as possible. This night wasn't any different, Loui had dropped him home, listening to his best friend mumble about how much he missed Aaron and feeling sorry for him and the way his life was going.

Robert held onto his head, feeling sharp pain coursing through him as he suddenly reminded how it happened, drinking a little too much at a club had made Robert think solely of _him_ and then suddenly he thought he saw him and reached out. The man didn't seem to happy about it all as he shoved Robert back towards the ground.

Robert hated being such a mess, being so tortured and weak and dependent on someone else to make him truly feel whole. It was that mentality that made him pick up the phone, dial in a number, his number, he had given him a phone and didn't expect him to use it, but he wished, he just wished.

  
Robert felt his heart racing hard as he waited, drunk, breathing heaving as he suddenly heard the dialling tone, mocking him over and over again.

  
Then quickly a voice, fumbling out in a stutter, his voice, "Hello?"

  
Robert rubbed a hand over his head, "Aaron, Aaron..." It came out too eager, too quick but he couldn't take it back now.

  
Aaron caught his breath, sitting up in bed, a light on by his bed side, and his eyes opened wide as he heard Robert's voice for the first time in two weeks.

 

"I know I shouldn't - shouldn't be, be calling ya 'cos ya need space and - I need to re-respect that, but I just -"

  
"I miss ya," Aaron found it hard to hold it in as he heard Robert speak.

  
Robert titled his head to the side, his heart doubling in size, in a good way, "You do?" He said with a gasp, "Tell me, tell me you're....okay? I need to know that - that even though you're not here, you're...okay without me. Aaron I love you, I love you, I do." It all came out in a babble, one that made Robert cry a little because he was just so overwhelmed by everything.

  
Aaron didn't know what to say, his breath hitched at the sound of Robert's voice and the way it all came tumbling out so honesty, "Rob, I made your life a misery, you're saying this 'cos ya miss the happy Aaron -"

  
Robert shook his head hard, the alcohol making him feel loose, "Aaron, you s-should have stopped sooner." Je clumsily said.

  
Aaron arched an eyebrow, "Eh?"

  
"You, Livesy, you just - just made my life, it's that - that simple." Robert said the words with ease now, they just rolled off the tongue causing Aaron to breakdown into a mess, crying down the phone.

  
"Don't, don't cry baby, I understand...I get that you - you need time -" Robert's voice was soft, soothing and suddenly Aaron realised what he needed more than anything.

  
"I've had enough time Rob." The words came out in a whisper.

  
Robert froze not quite believing what he was hearing and what it meant, how _important_ it all was, he must have been hearing himself. It was too good to be true.

  
Aaron waited for a second before sighing out a little, "I have to go," feeling defeated because the silence managed to scare him, make him think that Robert was either too drunk or too scared to have heard him, to have realised what Aaron was trying to say.

  
Robert's eyes widened, "Wait, wait Aaron -"

  
Aaron sighed gently, "Bye Robert." He let out before ending the call and sighing hard, fresh tears making him feel _weak_.

 

Aaron pushed hard down on the bed, crying into his pillow before looking towards the door, and seeing his mum standing there, a face filled with concern, "Love, what's happened?"

  
Aaron found himself completely needed whenever his mother was near him and suddenly he was in her arms and feeling her warmth. She had been great with him, made him feel loved and wanted and he had realised how important she was to him over the weeks in her company.

  
"There was a someone mum, I didn't tell ya about him 'cos, I left him behind." Aaron mumbled into her chest before shaking his head and sighing as he pulled himself away and stared at her.

  
Chas frowned a little before petting at Aaron's soft hair, "Someone?" She asked before realising, "Oh darling." She let out softly.

  
Aaron sniffed as he saw the way he was being looked at, he was expecting the question so answered it already, "Yeah, it's serious, I _love_ 'im." He mumbled out slowly.

  
Chas smiled, it was a sad one though and straight before a tut, "Then what -"

  
"The usual," Aaron shrugged as he looked away, "Me, and...everything I've done." He said attempting not to cry again, failing.

  
Chas pulled him into another tight hug, "You pushed him away?" She asked tentatively.

  
Aaron nodded against her shoulder, "I couldn't, couldn't stay in London, not with everyone knowing and I just, I had to go, but now I just -" he said panicking at the thought of him and Robert never getting back to what he wanted.

  
"You miss 'im," Chas whispered, "It's okay to miss him son, but...but instead of missing him, why don't you go and _find_ him."  
The words made Aaron pull away from the space and shake his head, "I'm scared that it will go wrong mum, I keep running away, I don't want to anymore." He had never been so honest, not even to Frankie who had helped massively.

  
Chas gently stroked her son's face lovingly looking into his eyes and then shaking her head, "My darling everyone's scared, but I'll be damned if my boy is running from anyone anymore." She  whispered into him, pulling him closer to her again.

  
Aaron heard the words loud and clear and suddenly everything made sense, everything.

 

* * *

 

The morning light flickered into Aaron's room the next morning, his eyes squinted as he reached towards his bed side and looked at the phone resting on it. Aaron caught his breath suddenly as he realised that for the first time in weeks, instead of Will being the first person on his mind, Robert was.

Chas was downstairs, a hand on the kettle as she poured out tea and watched Aaron walk into the room.

  
"Don't tell me ya still chew on ya nails?" Chas said gasping playfully as she watched her son biting down on them, "You only do that when you're nervous." She couldn't help but add.

  
Aaron huffed out a little sigh, "I'm thinking of giving...giving _him_ a ring, I dunno asking him if he wants to maybe, maybe I dunno -"

  
Chas smiled widely, "Spit it out love." She teased as Aaron walked towards her.

  
"Give things another go." Aaron blurted out, blushing almost immediately as he spoke. Chas clapped her hands together, pulling at Aaron's arm, clearly excited, "Oh love, I'm so happy for ya."

  
Aaron rolled his eyes and pulled a face, "Calm down, you don't even know what he's said about it all yet." He let out in a huff, getting excited wasn't going to be any good.

  
Chas rubbed Aaron's arm softly and smiled again, Aaron's heart fluttered a little, the feeling of making his mother happy was a foreign one.

  
"I need to go set up the bar alright." Chas walked out of the room swiftly, leaving Aaron standing there reaching for the phone in his pocket.

  
Rejection was at the back of his mind suddenly as he looked down at his phone and pressed down on the number that had rang him last night. It was dialling, quicker than he thought, making him shake all over as he tried to realise what he would say.

  
"Hello?" Robert's voice was soft and slow and was making Aaron instantly blush.

  
Aaron cut his breath, "Hi, it's...er me." He stumbled on his words, trying hard to sound cool.

  
"Aaron?" Robert said shakily making Aaron smile, the sound of wind in the background made him frown but he decided to ignore it as he let out a weak, "Yeah." Aaron hitched a breath, "Robert last night I said something, I said that I was -"

  
The sound of a car coming to a halt caught Aaron off guard as he pulled the phone away from his ear and then pushed it back, "Rob, I don't expect ya to just drop everything and just -"

  
"Aaron, open the back door of the pub." Robert let the words out cooly, suddenly a hint of apprehension in his voice as he spoke however.

  
Aaron frowned even harder, his heart was beating out of his chest as he dared to do what Robert had asked, he was walking slowly, his breathing heavy as he heard the sound of gravel on the phone that made him think, _imagine_ , _hope_ that Robert was actually -

  
Aaron creaked the door open slowly, hugging at his sides as the air hit him, _fresh_ and making him shake even more in his loose hoddie. Aaron gulped hard, his eyes were firmly on the floor, not daring to see until, "Now look up." 

  
Aaron breathed in quickly, _bracing_ himself for that eye contact. His eyes met _his_ , admiring his hair, his eyes, his height, _him, him, him._

  
Aaron felt his phone crash onto the floor as he walked towards him Robert, a hand pulling him closer, faster and then Robert's lips were crashing into Aaron's, a hand finding the back of Aaron's neck as they embraced deeper, haste overwhelmed them.

 

Aaron pulled away first, both hands resting on Robert's chest, "How did you, I don't -"

  
Robert gently kissed Aaron's head, "I heard what ya said last night," ' _I've had enough time Rob_ ' circled his mind, "I had to get you back, I'd been waiting to hear that Aaron." He added, a smile brighter than Aaron had ever seen.

  
Aaron looked up towards Robert shyly, "So you came....came all this way to -"

  
Robert bit down on his lip, "I am a _tad_ in love with ya Aaron, and I want us to work, I shouldn't have let ya go, he mumbled out the last few words, "Tell me it was worthwhile, all those fucking lonely nights." He added nervously, trying to laugh through it.

  
Aaron nodded his head, "I'm seeing someone," he said simply before staring at Robert wide eyed and seeing his face fall, "Not like that you idiot." Aaron smacked Robert's chest lightly, "A counsellor." He muttered making Robert's chest rise and fall gently, _relief_.

  
"Aaron that's, that's amazing." Robert hadn't expected things to go so well, he had this niggling feeling as he approached the quaint village that Aaron wouldn't be ready despite what he had said the night before. Robert pulled a hand up to to Aaron's face and noticed the way his eyes were shining a little brighter, "I'm so proud of you." He whispered leaning in towards Aaron and feeling overwhelmed with love.

  
The sound of a throat clearing pulled the two men apart as Chas stood by the door, an eyebrow raised in shock as she began to realise who the man was standing next to her son.

  
Robert stepped forwards confident before gulping hard and realising that maybe Aaron hadn't even mentioned him, _here goes_ , "You must be Chas, Aaron's mum." He let out with a nervous smile.

  
Chas stepped towards him, "And you must be..." She looked towards Aaron who was staring back at her with a smile on his face and a small nod, "The man my boy seems to love." She added, not being able to help her self and taking Robert by surprise as she shook his hand. Robert gulped softly.

  
"Mum!" Aaron yelled out, annoyed, blushing again like mad at her words.

 

Chas shrugged her shoulders, "Oh love, I reckon he might love ya too considering he's come all this way eh." She said staring at Robert up and down and then smiling again, liking him already. "Has he got a name?" 

 

Roberr cleared his throat, "Robert." Hesaid softly.

  
"Come in then love." Chas said eagerly, a hand reaching out and waving towards the door. Robert looked back at Aaron, smiling as he held out a hand and felt Aaron squeeze onto it.

  
"Is this okay?" Aaron let out nervously, he didn't want his eager mum to ruin things. Robert tilted his head and chuckled, "It's fine with me, _babe._ " He added, making Aaron look away and then mutter, "Don't even think of calling me that in front of her, she'll never stop banging on about it." As they both walked into the pub, hand in hand.

 

* * *

 

Robert was in Aaron's arms that night, holding him close and stretching their bodies it as far as they could considering the size of the bed. It felt surreal, as if Robert had been given yet another chance at happiness, this time one that could last, _truly_.

  
Aaron gently stroked Robert's arm, light from the dark sky pouring into the room and making the tiny freckles on Robert's arm all the more obvious, "I can't believe you came all this way," he whispered into him, "For me." He added, shyer as he spoke.

  
Robert smiled softly, he was thinking of what s day it had been, the introductions to important people to Aaron like a glaring uncle he assumed helped him leave that night, an older man with grey hair who Aaron seemed to respect greatly and a handful of cousins. A girl, smiley and welcoming and then a man with a friendly smile, then the lanky chef with a nervous laugh. They all welcomed him without making a big deal out of it all and causing Aaron to want to hide.

They had sat in a booth for hours, hand holding under the table as Robert was introduced as _Aaron's_ fella, the blonde one with Aaron, or sometimes just 'this is Aaron's, Robert'. Robert liked that one the best.

  
Aaron pinched at Robert's arm lightly, "Did you hear what I said day dreamer?" He said, getting Robert's attention as he looked towards him.

  
Robert trailed a hand down Aaron's arm lovingly, "Sorry, I was just - you're family, they love you, they all do, you're lucky to have them." He said slowly, thinking of his own.

  
Aaron noticed, moving closer to Robert, "Well you're my family now too." He said, squeezing him tight to drive home how _close_ he wanted them to be, always.

  
Robert cleared his throat, something on his mind, "Aaron, I...I quit my job." He said nervously, knowing what to expect.

  
Aaron pulled off of Robert and frowned harshly, "You did what? Why would ya - "

  
Robert pulled himself up and held Aaron's shoulders, "I, I was already, 'taking a break' so there wasn't any point carrying on, my heart isn't in it anymore Aaron, not when I know how corrupt it is." He said sighing hard and shaking his head, "Its not what I want anymore."

  
Aaron caught his breath before sighing and falling back down onto the bed with a huff, defeated, "Well, I can't change your mind." He let out as Robert loomed over him before kissing him and saying, "Nope," with a smug smile.

  
Robert pulled away before biting his lip, "There's one, one, more thing...but that'll wait until tomorrow." He said cheekily, ignoring Aaron's frown and all his protesting.

  
Robert tensed as he watched Aaron sigh and gently close his eyes, he couldn't help but worry about what would happen next, if Aaron still got nightmares.

  
"Aaron," Robert whispered, worry laced in his voice, "Do you still get -"

  
Aaron shook his head, a hand reaching for Robert's, "No, not anymore, it's okay," he whispered back his voice filled with nothing but love as he squeezed at Robert's hand, closing his eyes again and allowing Robert to do the same, and then they were falling into a sleep, _deep_ , undisturbed.

 

* * *

 

"I'm taking you somewhere." Robert said the words proudly, a hand resting on Aaron's as he sipped at his coffee the next morning.

  
Aaron frowned, "Where?" He asked, wondering, "Is this what ya were talking about last night, what you couldn't tell me?" He added as Robert looked away shyly.

  
Robert gave in, nodding his head as he looked at Aaron, "You trust me, right?" He said tentatively causing Aaron to nod his head slowly, egging him to go on, "It's...mad, like, _mad_ but.." He said shaky slightly as he spoke because it _was mad_ , and fast and scary.

  
Aaron titled his head to the side almost seeing the honesty and the raw emotion in the way Robert was speaking, sincerity.

  
"I'll get my coat." Aaron said nervously as he kissed Robert's lips hard and disappeared up the stairs.

  
Robert was left there, shaking a little and then suddenly a hand fell on his shoulder, Chas, "So, where are ya taking him then?" She whispered nervously.

  
Robert cleared this throat, "Somewhere he'll be happy Chas, I promise you that," he let out softly.

  
Chas breathed out gently, she had only met Robert yesterday yet already she knew how good he was for her son , how released Aaron was when he was around Robert. Chas placed a hand on Robert's, "Thank you," she said quickly before raising to her feet, "You betta keep making him smile." She warned with a smile as she heard Aaron race down the stairs again.

  
"Are we going then or what?" Aaron said looking towards Robert and smiling, his eyes were this incredible blue, bright and hopeful yet laced with nervousness that mirrored Robert's.

  
Robert let out a nod, small but mighty.

 

* * *

  

They were driving, and it was taking forever, Aaron was getting irritated and matching Robert who was having enough of Aaron behaving like a five year old who was whining, 'Are we there yet?'

  
Robert suddenly grew quiet after about two hours had gone by, tensing all over and feeling overwhelmed with nerves as he realised had _mad_ he was for doing what he had done, on a whim, _Jesus_.

  
Aaron sensed it immediately, "What's wrong?" He asked, seeing the nerves on Robert's face grow as they turned into a corner, and then another leaving Aaron's mouth open wide as he saw the view, breathing in the air, and the miles and miles of sand that lay ahead.

  
Aaron's entire body churned at the thought, at the memories, they were there at _that_ beach that made everything seem calmer, better somehow.

  
"Surprise." Robert whispered as he stopped the car and suddenly felt Aaron's lips crash into his and then pull away just as quick so that they could stare at each other for a few seconds.

  
Aaron turned to the left, pulling the car door open as he was met with the sea air whisking him towards the beach, his favourite place in the world.

  
Robert followed behind him, reaching for his hand as they clambered down onto the beach like little children, so eager to enjoy themselves, they deserved it.

  
Robert gulped hard, turning Aaron towards him and suddenly unable to speak, "I, I er...do you remember what I said to ya when I saw you in prison" Aaron nodded, looking towards the ground, "I promised you, that you'd be back here one day, _happy_ like you are now, really happy and that you'd live...in that house right by it." Robert trailed off as he pointed towards the small house overlooking the entire beach, "I'm not a fan of breaking promises Aaron and I've let ya down enough so maybe I -"

  
Aaron's eyes widened in complete shock as he heard the waves crash against the shore softly, "Do you mean -" Aaron looked towards the house, the very one he had been staring at that afternoon, on _their_ bed, the one who _wished_ was his own, foolishy, "You bought that house?" He couldn't quite believe what he was saying.

  
Robert nodded his head, "I told ya it was _mad."_ he said not knowing what Aaron's reaction was exactly.

  
Aaron titled his head back in shock, "Robert -"

  
Robert pulled Aaron closed to him, "Look Aaron," he huffed out, "I don't know lot about being happy, neither of us really do but....but I want to be happy with ya for the rest of my life," tears were there, Aaron couldn't hold them back either, "Aaron, the boys are in prison, along with Jensen, and...I know it's going to take a while for you to...to be past that but I want to be there with ya, every step of the way."

Robert said gently, seriousness in his voice that made it all seem even more real, honest. "In that little house, with you, just you and me." He whispered as Aaron looked at him lovingly, fear melting away suddenly.

  
Aaron felt his heart skip a beat, he was overwhelmed suddenly, "Just you and me." He mumbled, pulling Robert towards him and leaning his head against the older man's chest, finding home before letting out, "I've only ever wanted a quiet life, simple, stress free." He said with a laugh as he looked up at Robert, a silent agreement to their future.

  
Robert smiled as he looked at the man he loved and suddenly he kissed him, kissed him like he wanted to be loved by him and only him for the rest of his life, "God I love you Aaron." He whispered softly, wrapping his arms around him tightly and feeling his heart burst as Aaron whispered back, "I love you more Rob, you'll never know how much you saved me." He said, tears in his eyes.

  
Robert pulled a hand up towards Aaron's, a tear falling as he dragged him towards the end of the beach, laughing hysterically as they saw the house even clearer, small, shabby, _theirs_ , "Welcome home, _babe._ " Robert whispered, pressing a kiss to Aaron's neck and seeing the way his face lit up.

  
Aaron felt his heart tug a little, well aware that Robert could easily afford a home triple the amount the small house cost but knowing that Robert knew how special it was to him, the sentiment behind it all, the perfect place for Aaron to unwind and settle again, to _live_ that quiet happy life he had craved for so long.

  
Images flashed through Aaron's mind quickly, Robert painting the walls in an old shirt singing along to a song tunelessly and then cooking them dinner, hands together as they admired the sea view.

  
"Rob." Aaron said softly looking at Robert, worry in his voice, "Promise me we'll be happy here, _really_ happy." He said longing for reassurance like always.

  
Robert closed his eyes for a second, that dream was still there in his mind, all he had to do was settle his nerves and Aaron was there, on _that_ beach, holding their little boy, smiling wide and bright. Only this time it was different than the dreams, he was able to actual feel Aaron and their boy race into his arms. A sign surely. There was no doubt they'd be happy, no doubt at all.

  
Robert opened his eyes softly, the sun shinning down on them as he turned to Aaron and held his hand tightly, "I promise." He let out easily, easing every worry in Aaron's face and meaning every word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END! Thank you to all the support and lovely comments I've got on this story because it really spurred me on to keep writing and I've enjoyed this sooooooo much! It's the longest fic I've ever written!!!
> 
> I hope you liked the ending, I had the idea of Robert finding Aaron again somehow and taking him to the beach in my head since Robert took Aaron to the beach the first time and it's basically canon that it's Aaron's favourite place in the world! 
> 
> Let me know if you liked it and of course keep your eyes peeled for another au multi chapter fic coming very soon (a lot more fluffy than this trust me!) ❤️
> 
> Find me on tumblr: Fangirlqueen87 
> 
> Love Nicole xx

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think! X <3


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